Laurie Collion looked everywhere until finally, she saw the king of the seas. She walked up to him and handed him a blue envelope before she walked away, thankful that she was no longer a messenger for the original OTP (Helen’s words, not mine).
Poseidon,
You might destroy this letter. Burn it, tear it to shreds, throw it away, cut it up, crumble it and use it as a basketball before tossing it into a trash can. Or, you might read it. You might read each and every single word that’s on this single piece of paper.
I truly hope that it’s the latter.
I have thought about your words these past few days, and you are right. I wanted to tell you about the baby from the very beginning, but I was scared. I was scared of your reaction to me breaking our promise, of hurting you. You ended up hurt anyway, though. And I cannot forgive myself for it.
I need to explain what happened, from the beginning. Andy and I had met in the city and hit it off right away. We became friends and I was happy. Over time, I realized that I loved him; I just, I didn’t know what kind of love it was. Friend love? Romantic love? I didn’t know. But then one night, when I stayed the night at his place to watch movies, we ended becoming drunk and had sex. The morning after, he told me that he loved me. And I said that I loved him back, convincing myself that I loved him the same way he loved me. I had spent the next few weeks telling my friends about Andy and I, that I loved him. I had manipulated myself to believe it.
I would tell him about us, about you and our family. You and our family were my favourite topics to talk about; I’m so proud of our family, Poseidon. Of our children and our grandchildren. As I talked more and more about us, the more I was convinced that my love for Andy was a gentle tenderness, a platonic love. And then, I found out about the baby.
Andy and I only had sex once; I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. I had to continue to pretend to love Andy the same way he loved me and I hated it. I saw him as a friend, he saw me as something more. I continued the facade even more, with the people who know about the pregnancy. I didn’t want to tell him about my true feelings for him. He had been married once and it ended in a disaster; I didn’t want to ruin his second chance at love. And then you found out.
This whole entire thing is a disaster, Poseidon. And I’m sorry, I’m so incredibly sorry. There is truly no way to express how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you; You and our family mean the entire world to me. I love you, Poseidon. I love you with all of my heart. And I’ve hurt you. I didn’t mean to nor did I wanted to.
I wish that I had never met Andy. I wish that the child was yours, truthfully. I may not love Andy the way I love you, but I love this child so much. I don’t know if that is something you’re okay with, due to our complicated circumstances, but I want you to know this: I’ve ended things with Andy.
I told him that you now know and that I couldn’t handle being in a relationship with him anymore. I told him that I will have someone keep him updated about the pregnancy and the baby, that our separation and these next few months of not seeing each other before he has full care over the baby will help prepare him for these next few years. He was hurt, but he understands. He understood that my heart belongs to you.
I don’t know if this will mean anything to you. I don’t know if you will forgive me or if you will continue to hate me. But you need to know the truth.
I love you with all of my heart, Poseidon. And I’m terribly sorry. I do not know if you will forgive me or not, but I wanted you to know.
~Amphitrite
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