𝚂𝙰𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚄 tries dating someone new to distract himself. It lasts less than two days. 𖹭
𝑭𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇. ꒰ 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ⋮⋮ canon jjk ꒱
It’s Shoko who calls you first.
The phone buzzes against the kitchen counter while you’re staring at a half-eaten bowl of cereal gone soggy. You almost ignore it. Almost, but habit wins, and you do pick up.
"He's being weird,” she says, biting off a yawn, cigarette smoke curling lazily from her lips. “Weirder than usual. He brought some girl to dinner last night.”
You blink. “Oh.”
The word comes out small. Flat. Like it doesn’t belong in your mouth.
“She laughed like a goose and called him ‘Toru-bear’ and wore a shirt that said ‘Boss Babe.’” Shoko pauses. “You, understandably, weren’t there. So I had to suffer alone.”
“Sorry.” You almost sounded sincere.
“Don’t apologize. He should be apologizing. It was pitiful.”
You try not to let it get to you. You try not to think about how it felt, because just three nights ago, when he kissed you so soft and said, “You make everything quiet,” like it was a confession, like it hurt to say it, when the words left his lips...
And, now he’s… dating?
Trying?
Moving on?
Your chest aches, but you smile through it. “Maybe he just needs to figure some stuff out.”
Shoko exhales. “You’ve ruined him. You know that, right?”
You laugh. It sounds brittle and slightly amused. “I don’t think I’m that powerful.”
“You are,” she says dryly. “I watched this man— this man who used to brag about how hot girls lined up for him after missions— literally panic when his dinner date tried to kiss him.”
Your heart flips. “What?”
“He flinched,” she confirms. “Like, full-body jolted. Said, and I quote, ‘Sorry, I’m just not used to someone else’s face being that close. It feels wrong.’”
You’re stunned into silence.
Then: “He said it felt wrong?”
“Mhm.” A long pause fills the space for a moment. “And then he left. Mid-date. Suguru watched him walk outside and immediately call your number. You didn’t answer, did you?”
You hadn’t.
You’d seen his name light up your screen and tucked your phone under your pillow, heart hammering, unsure what you were even to him now.
That night, he left you a voicemail.
You hadn’t listened to it.
Not until now.
You pull it up after exchanging goodbyes with Shoko. Hands trembling, and you press play.
“Hey,” his voice murmurs. There’s a sharp exhale. “I know you probably don’t wanna talk to me. That’s fair.”
Theres a second of silence...
“I thought… maybe I needed to know what it would be like. To be with someone who isn’t you. To see if I could want something else. And I can’t.”
He laughs, soft and its self-deprecating.
“I couldn’t even hold her hand without thinking about the way you tuck yours under mine like it’s automatic. Couldn’t sit across from her without hearing your voice in my head telling me to chew slower because I eat like a gremlin.”
You close your eyes, breath shallow.
“You’ve ruined me, sweetheart,” he whispers .“And I think I’d let you do it a thousand times over.”
The message fizzles out to an abrupt end.
You stand there in the quiet kitchen, phone still pressed to your ear like the sound of him might come back if you just wait long enough.
Your pulse is loud in your throat.
You don’t think— you just go.
Keys. Shoes. The door slamming behind you hard enough that the frame rattles.
The night air hits your face. Cool and sharp because it's 10pm and you're running. You don’t remember deciding to run but your feet are already moving, pavement blurring under you, streetlights smearing gold across your vision.
Every step feels like it’s carving something open in your chest.
Three nights ago his mouth had been so careful against yours. Three nights ago he’d breathed against your temple like the whole world had gone soft just for the two of you. Three nights ago he’d looked at you like you were the only solid thing left.
And then he’d tried to date someone else.
Tried.
Failed so completely that Shoko called it pitiful.
You don’t slow down until you’re outside his building. The code for the gate is still muscle memory. The stairs take forever and no time at all.
You reach his door.
Knock once.
Twice.
The lock clicks.
He opens the door looking like a kicked puppy— eyes wide, hoodie sleeves too long, heart cracked open.
For a second, neither of you moves.
Then you don’t say a word— just throw your arms around him and bury your face in his chest.
He holds you like he never wants to let go again.
“I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m so— sorry.”
“I’m not,” you whisper back.
You lean up.
Kiss him like he’s the only person in the world worth knowing.
Like he belongs to you.
Because he does.
His mouth is warm and a little desperate under yours. One of his hands slides up into your hair, the other locking around your waist like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he loosens his grip even a fraction.
You feel the way his chest rises and falls too fast against yours. You feel the tiny tremor in his fingers.
When you finally pull back just enough to breathe, his forehead rests against yours.
“I hated it,” he says, voice low and rough. “Every second of it. She kept talking and all I could hear was you. She touched my arm and it felt like static. Wrong frequency. Wrong everything.”
You don’t answer with words. You just kiss him again, slower this time, tasting the apology still sitting on his tongue.
He walks you backward into the apartment without breaking the kiss. The door clicks shut behind you. Somewhere a lamp is on, casting soft gold across the floor. His place smells like the laundry detergent he always uses and the faint citrus of the cleaner he pretends he doesn’t buy just because you once said you liked it.
He presses you gently against the wall by the entryway. Not hard. Just enough that you can feel how solid he is, how carefully he’s holding himself back.
“I kept thinking about the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention,” he murmurs against your mouth. “Like I’m something worth keeping. She looked at me like I was a prize she’d already won. I couldn’t stand it.”
Your hands fist in the front of his hoodie. The fabric is soft from too many washes. You know every loose thread.
“I shouldn’t have gone,” he says. “I knew the second I sat down across from her that I’d made a mistake. But I stayed. Like an idiot. Like maybe if I just forced it hard enough it would start feeling right.”
You tip your head so your lips brush the corner of his jaw. “Did it?”
“Not even close.”
He kisses you again, deeper, and you let him. Let the heat of it pull everything else out of focus until there’s only the two of you and the quiet apartment and the way his body fits against yours like it was designed for exactly this.
When he finally draws back there’s a flush high on his cheeks. His eyes are bright in a way that has nothing to do with residual cursed energy and everything to do with you.
“Stay,” he says. Not a question.
You nod.
He takes your hand the way he always does, fingers sliding between yours like they belong there and leads you further inside.
The couch is still a mess of throw pillows from the last time you were here. One of your hair ties sits on the coffee table. Evidence of a life that never quite stopped belonging to both of you even when you tried to pretend otherwise.
He sits first and pulls you into his lap without ceremony. You go willingly, knees bracketing his hips, arms looping around his neck.
For a long moment you just look at each other.
Then he starts talking again, quieter, like the words have been waiting behind his teeth for days.
“She ordered something with cilantro and I almost told her you hate cilantro. Almost said it out loud. Like my mouth forgot who I was sitting with.”
You brush a strand of white hair off his forehead. “You left mid-date.”
“Yeah.” A short, self-conscious laugh. “Suguru gave me the look. You know the one. The ‘you’re an idiot and I love you but also please stop’ look. I walked outside and called you before I even thought about it. Needed to hear your voice. Needed to know you still existed in the same world as me.”
You remember the way your phone had lit up. The way you’d shoved it under the pillow like that could protect either of you from whatever this was becoming.
“I listened to the voicemail,” you tell him.
His arms tighten around you. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Silence settles for a few heartbeats. Comfortable. Heavy with everything neither of you has said yet.
Then he leans in and presses a kiss to the side of your neck, soft and lingering.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it properly,” he murmurs against your skin. “That you’re it for me. That nothing else even comes close. That I tried to prove myself wrong and only proved the opposite.”
You tilt your head to give him more room. His mouth follows the line of your throat with careful, deliberate attention.
“You don’t have to figure it out,” you say. “Just keep showing up.”
He pulls back enough to meet your eyes. There’s something open and a little raw in his expression.
“I will. Every time. Even when I’m being an idiot about it.”
You kiss him for that. Slow. Thorough. The kind of kiss that says you already knew and you’re still choosing him anyway.
His hands slide under the hem of your shirt, palms warm against your waist. Not demanding. Just anchoring you to the present.
You feel the way his breathing changes when your fingers find the nape of his neck and scratch lightly the way he likes.
“Stay the night,” he says again, quieter this time. Almost a plea.
“I’m already here.”
He smiles against your mouth. The real one. The one that softens everything about him until he looks almost young again.
“Good.”
Later, when the apartment has gone fully dark except for the city glow through the windows, you end up tangled together on the couch under a blanket that smells like both of you. His heartbeat is steady under your ear. One of his hands keeps tracing idle patterns along your spine like he can’t quite stop touching you now that you’re close again.
“Shoko’s going to give me so much shit for this,” he says eventually, voice drowsy.
You huff a quiet laugh. “She already did. Called the whole thing pitiful.”
“She’s not wrong.”
You press a kiss to the center of his chest through the soft fabric of his hoodie.
“I don’t care if it was pitiful,” you tell him. “I’m glad you figured it out.”
His arms tighten around you one more time.
“Me too,” he whispers. “God. Me too.”
Outside, the city keeps moving. Inside, everything is quiet the way it only ever is when it’s the two of you.
And for the first time in days, it feels like enough.
Summary: You're engaged to Hollywood's leading man, James 'Bucky' Barnes and things are going well. He does a new movie he's been doing press for and takes you to the premiere. While watching the movie, you discover you've been lied to and are embarrassed, so you flee to your hometown to get away.
Content warning: Language, angst
Type of Bucky: Actor James 'Bucky' Barnes, leading mega Hollywood star
Part 1/2
Read part 2 here
"So, James, since filming, how has this movie changed you?" Tony Stark, smart-mouthed late night TV host asked, leaning towards his guest.
James Barnes sat on stage on a too small scratchy sofa, surrounded by hot studio lights, camera equipment, a full-on musical band, a live audience who was hanging on every word, and his latest co-star who was sitting unusually close to his side.
James felt a bead of perspiration run down his back as his heart rate increased with the simple question he was just asked. He ran his suddenly damp hands up and down his suit-clad thighs then stopped, looking over at the host.
"It cost me everything." James quietly replied.
A few gasps and murmurs sounded from the audience at his answer.
Tony Stark awkwardly chuckled, and said, "How so?" Placing his hand under his chin like he was listening to the latest tea.
James folded his hands in his lap and looked around the studio before looking at Tony.
"Doing this movie cost me my future. It was the worst decision of my life."
He felt his co-star tense next to him on this god forsaken tiny sofa. God, he just wanted to leave so he could get to you and apologize for the 1000th time and make things right.
Out of the corner of his eye, James could see his agent Alexander Pierce glare at him, then face palm. His co-star Natasha laughed and said, "Now James, you knew what you were getting into when you signed on..." Making a few members of the audience chuckle.
Fuck, he was an idiot for taking this role.
"You got to work with Natasha here in some pretty compromising positions, am I right?" Tony pointed to his co-star and wiggled his eyebrows making the audience laugh.
"That seems like it's nothing to complain about and a regular day at the office." The audience hooped and hollered at the host.
James looked over at the woman sitting next to him. Natasha had moved close to his side and draped herself on his arm.
"We had an AMAZING time filming this movie together, right babe?" She ran a finger up his arm making James cringe and turn away, shaking her off.
He looked down at his lap and frowned.
"The box office numbers are killing it." Tony exclaimed while the audience clapped at the numbers that were flashed on the screen.
James scowled, then scoffed and said, "Whatever."
Natasha quickly started talking about the filming process and the locations they filmed at while James zoned out. All he could think about was you. What were you up to? Were you still in the city, or did you go back home? His mind was completely occupied when he felt everyone's eyes on him.
Oh shit, was I asked a question?
"What was that?"
Tony awkwardly chuckled and repeated, "I heard there's plans for a sequel. Would you entertain the idea?"
"God no." James immediately said, shuddering to himself.
Tony's eyebrows shot up at his guest's quick response.
"We can look at that later." Natasha purred next to him.
James shook his head no.
"No. I'm not doing a sequel. Not with you, or anyone for that matter."
Natasha's eyes widened in shock. The studio got quiet and Tony was left speechless, a rare instance for the popular and outspoken late-night host.
"In fact, I'm going to be taking a break. From acting. From LA."
Tony looked around the stage, almost like he was pleading at someone, anyone for that matter, to right the sinking ship that was this interview.
"Well, you've earned it and with that, we'll be right back folks." Tony said as the audience clapped and the band started playing the talk show theme song.
James looked around and chuckled to himself, looking over at his agent.
"We're done here." James stood, pulling the microphone clip from his suit jacket lapel and tossed it to the small sofa.
Natasha stood and tried to get him to sit but he averted her grasp.
"I'm leaving. Please don't ever contact me again. We're completely done; you've ruined my life." James calmly yet firmly said to Natasha, then stepped off the stage as his agent trailed after him.
"James!" Alexander Pierce called but James kept walking.
"James!" his agent yelled again while fighting his way through the cluttered backstage area as James headed out mid-interview.
Sam, James' assistant trailed behind, trying to keep up with what just happened.
"Where do you think you're going?"
James stood by a waiting sedan, turned, and rolled his eyes. Sam caught up and stood on the other side of the vehicle, ready to jump in.
"To get my fiancé back. You're fired." He said before he got in and sat down, leaving the interview and his agent behind.
Sam climbed in and sat next to his boss. James' PR team will have a nightmare to deal with and he's sure there are a bunch of texts, calls, and emails Sam will have to field, but all he could think of, was to get to you.
He's just hoping he didn't completely screw things up beyond repair.
------
"That'll be all, thanks guys." You said, giving the movers a generous tip.
You locked the door and sighed, looking around your small lake house rental. You had broken things off with your fiancé and moved out of Bucky's penthouse in LA and moved back to your small town.
You are Canadian and grew up in a small lakeside community surrounded by lakes, cottages, and the wilderness. After living in LA for a few years and dating an actor, you desperately need to reset and recharge.
You are lucky you can work from almost anywhere since you're a photographer, and you're excited at the possibility of setting up your own studio in your small town.
You always knew you would return home. The plan you had with Bucky was, you were going to get a second home in your small town and live and work there whenever Bucky was in-between jobs.
The penthouse in LA was fine, but you preferred a quieter and more natural place to live, as did your fiancé, or you think he wanted something quieter seeing as how he is a complete and utter gas-lighting piece of garbage liar. You scowled to yourself as you grumpily unpacked your boxes.
What else did he lie to me about?
Thoughts ran through your mind while you set up your kitchen, thinking back to the night of the premiere and what has transpired since.
...Flashback...
"You look gorgeous." Bucky said as you met him in the foyer of the penthouse.
"You think?" Your black gown hugged your curves well.
"I do." He kissed your cheek, then he moved his lips to your neck, slightly nipping you making you giggle since you're ticklish. You had your hair and makeup done for his newest movie premiere you were attending with him.
Bucky was a well-known actor. You met him when you were doing a photo shoot for a watch brand and he was your model. You hit it off and he asked you out when you were done, but you were nervous.
Him being famous and recognized everywhere he went, you felt a little unsure since you don't love being in the spotlight, but he was charming and protective of your privacy, so you agreed and the rest was history. Bucky arranged quiet intimate dates away from the public eye and you got to know him outside of his Hollywood leading man persona.
To you, he was just Bucky and to the world, he was James Barnes leading Hollywood actor and handsome heartthrob.
You started dating and a few of the tabloids picked it up, but his PR team and assistant Sam were excellent, handling any issues and concerns that came up. When things got serious, that's when your life started to spiral.
His agent, Alexander Pierce pushed him to take on more roles, which he did. According to his agent, Bucky being in a relationship hurts his potential of landing more roles as a leading man, but Bucky never suffered because of this. Bucky picked up lots of roles he was on locations for a few months at a time with little to no contact with you.
At first, it was hard to adjust to his busy schedule, but you knew this was part of his job, so you got through it. Bucky always managed to make time for you as best he could, but it was still hard being away from him for long periods of time. You would visit him here and there, but only for a day or two at the most. Add in the fact that his agent was a complete dickface to you, your relationship was sometimes stressed.
Alexander Pierce ignored you and slighted you every chance he got, but Bucky stuck by him because he was getting all the major scripts sent his way along with endorsements, partnerships, exposure, and fashion sponsorships. You brought it up with Bucky a few times with the way Alexander Pierce talks to you when Bucky leaves the room, but he always assured you his agent was the best in the business and works hard on his behalf. He always said he would have a conversation with him, but you're certain Pierce never listened or gave two shits about you, even after Bucky 'supposedly' talked to him.
Whenever Bucky was contemplating taking on a role, he would tell you about it and want your opinion. You always listened to his concerns and offered him advise but always told him his roles were his choice to make and not yours.
When things got more serious with him and you moved in together, you had a conversation with him about the roles he was being offered. You asked he not do any intimate scenes with anyone. Kissing/hand holding, and implied intimate scenes were ok, but you told him you were uncomfortable with anything else.
That was your only request and he agreed. You gave up your personal freedom to be with him and date him, and all you wanted in return was for him to not take those roles, or if they were offered, for him to not participate. Body doubles were an option he always proposed back to his agent, and you could tell Alexander Pierce was annoyed, but you didn't care. You don't feel comfortable watching your boyfriend on screen be that way with another.
Is it selfish to ask him of it? Perhaps, but this was something you had discussed when you first started dating him. He completely understood and had taken a few roles where intimacy wasn't a factor or he could have a body double for "those scenes" and it worked, up until it didn't.
This new role in the movie you were going to the premiere of, was going to be a romantic comedy Bucky was excited for, but you weren't. Not the fact that it was a romantic comedy, in fact, those were some of your favourite movies, but this one involved his ex, well known actor Natasha Romanoff.
This one was also the most he's ever been paid for a romantic comedy which would bump up his net worth considerably and solidify him as being a top a-list actor in Hollywood striking while the fire was hot. James and Natasha had been linked as a couple years prior, but Bucky had assured you he had zero contact with her when they broke things off up until this point, and this was strictly professional.
You were apprehensive but you encouraged him to take the roll and that turned out to be a huge mistake. Late night calls with her in private, early morning shooting schedules, pre shoot meetings that went well into the night, trailers that were practically right next to each other, caused some issues when you visited the set.
You trusted Bucky, but something about this movie shoot was different and felt wrong to you. It felt like when you last visited the set, the crew and director weren't telling you things, like they knew something was up, and you weren't in on the secret but everyone else was. Bucky assured you multiple times everything was fine.
He called you as often as he could, sent flowers and small gifts while he was away saying he was thinking about you, so you just dealt with it and told yourself you were just being paranoid because it was with his ex.
When the shoot was done, Bucky had taken you on a small vacation. You talked for hours and reconnected when you walked along the shoreline of the beach you were staying on. Bucky proposed to you a few days later, before the start of the press tour for this latest movie, and you were thrilled, eagerly saying yes.
He promised you wedding planning would start soon but would have to be put on hold while he was out on his press tour and the movie was released in theatres, and you agreed to wait. Looking back now, you were glad you hadn't thought of planning a wedding since that all blew up in your face spectacularly.
"Are you nervous?" You asked from inside the limo.
Bucky seemed distant to you, but you assumed he was anxious for his movie to do well.
"A little." Was his lame reply.
This movie was going to skyrocket his career. He had two other movies coming out within a few months of each other he was also starring in, but this movie was all he could talk about, so you wanted to be supportive.
When the limo pulled up outside the theatre, the usual press was there along with the red carpet and photographers clamouring for their shots. You walked alongside Bucky as he posed for pictures, chatted with reporters, news outlets, and took some shots for social media for his team. You stepped aside and watched him in an interview when you saw Natasha come up to him and greet him.
Your stomach clenched on itself and was in knots watching her. She was beautiful and was dressed in an amazing maroon gown. Camera flashes went off as the two embraced, Bucky smiled wide at her, and she looked up at him with heart eyes.
You felt dismissed and ignored as they laughed and chatted with each other while like they were long lost best friends. Her arm was wrapped tight around his waist, and he was smiling wide as the photographers yelled out their demands for their shots.
"Hi Y/n." You were interrupted by Sam, Bucky's assistant.
"Hi Sam." You gave him a quick hug.
"You look lovely. Are you ready for the movie?"
"I guess."
"I hear it's a good one. One of his best." Sam seemed proud of Bucky and stood by with a few other people from the PR team.
You gave them small waves and greetings as you heard the chaos from the photographer's end.
"Looks like Pierce is talking with James."
"Oh?"
You saw Bucky's agent talking to him, watching you the whole time.
"When are the wedding plans starting?" Sam waggled his eyebrows at you making you chuckle.
"I guess soon Sam."
You felt an arm circle your waist and Bucky bent down to your ear. "Hi." You turned slightly and gave him a soft smile.
"Let's head in." Sam ushered you down the red carpet and inside the theatre.
You got your seats, noticing Natasha and her team were in the row in front of you. She gave you a glare when Bucky helped you sit. He then sat next to you, and you could tell something was off.
"Are you ok?" You quietly asked.
"Fine." He cleared his throat and looked around.
"Just nervous, you know?"
You patted his arm reassuringly and the movie started.
Bucky nervously bounced his leg up and down as the movie played on the screen. There were some cute and funny parts to it as people laughed along with the characters. You chuckled at a few scenes, but Bucky wasn't laughing.
"Do you need some air?"
"No." He quickly said.
He was checking his watch and was looking up and down the row. Something was off, but you continued watching the movie. Halfway through, things started making sense for you on why he was so nervous. You noticed the chemistry Natasha and Bucky had on screen, and that's when you froze and your heart plummeted in your chest.
Up on the big screen right in front of your eyes, the scene played out with Natasha undressing your fiancé who eagerly returned the favour.
"What the fuck?" You whispered.
You felt Bucky's leg stop bouncing and felt him tense next to you. You couldn't look away from the screen.
Clothes were coming off as he wrapped her in his arms and tossed her on the bed, performing all kinds of things to each other, making you feel sick to your stomach.
It's just a movie, it's not real, it's just a movie...You told yourself in your head.
At one point you saw Natasha turn around and smirk at you, but you didn't respond; your eyes were glued to what you were seeing. Bucky lied to you. He lied about this movie, about doing intimate scenes, you wanted to get up and run out of the theatre, but you didn't. You felt his hand slide into yours, but you quickly snatched it back from him and placed your hand under your arm, so he couldn't get to it.
"Sweetheart..."
"Not. A. Word."
"I can explain..."
"I said zip it, James..." You whisper spat at him.
You saw him wince at the use of his real name. He insisted you call him Bucky, his childhood nickname since only a select few people do. He's known by everyone as James but wanted you to call him Bucky.
"I'm sorry." He whispered making you tense up.
"Unbelievable." Was all you said.
The rest of the movie played on while your mind reeled with what you witnessed. Not only was there a steamy scene you wanted to bleach your eyes out from watching, but there were two more later in the movie, both just as explicit and the kicker was, the intimate scenes didn't really fit with the movie. Sure, it was a romantic comedy, but the heavily detailed intimate scenes felt forced and inappropriate to the lighthearted script.
Did she insist on them? Why did Bucky agree to this? Why did he lie to me?
Your head was a mess and when the movie ended and the lights came on, your face was red, but you forced a pleasant smile on your face, feeling numb to your surroundings. There were too many cameras around to cause a scene. You stood still as a statue, feeling embarrassed and awkward as people came up and congratulated Bucky and Natasha on a great movie, unaware of your inner turmoil.
You stood off to the side as you saw Natasha and Bucky talking with a reporter, his arm around her as she smiled at him adoringly making your stomach lurch.
It's for the promotion, nothing more you kept telling yourself.
When the reporter was done, they thanked them leaving when you saw Bucky lean down and kiss Natasha as they hugged before he came over to you.
The fuck?
You saw her saunter off with her team but look back at you and wink before she left the theatre. You didn't say anything to Bucky, turning and leaving to catch your ride back.
"I can explain..." Bucky said as you made your way inside the apartment.
You didn't talk on the ride back, preferring to sit as far away from him as humanly possible.
"Sweetheart...let me explain..."
"Shut up Bucky, just shut up." You snapped, flinging off your shoes as you made your way to the bedroom.
He quickly followed you, undoing his tie and dress shirt.
"I didn't know there was going to be those scenes when I signed on to do the movie...the initial script I read and approved of didn't have any scenes in it...I took the role because..."
"Money? You have gobs of money and roles being shoved down your throat...what more do you need? Natasha? Was it to star alongside your ex?" You bitterly snapped at him, angry with yourself for letting your insecurities get the better of you.
"It's not like that and you know it."
"Do I? You're quite good at lying to me because of your acting capabilities, so how should I know?"
"The movie...It paid me a lot."
"So, you sold yourself out for the money? Went behind my back for the money? Lied to me for the money? Fucked her on screen for the money?"
"It's not like that...Pierce said there could be sequels for the movie, and I want to be tied to the franchise..."
"Fuck Pierce, that slimeball."
"He's my agent Y/n..."
"Save it Bucky. Your decision to go along with your ex and the fact that you told me you won't do those scenes, even though you did them anyways, makes me sick. Do I not mean anything to you?"
He just stood and stared, like he was listening to you for the first time. You headed into the ensuite and slammed the door. You quickly undressed, leaving your dress on the floor when you walked into the closet, picking a simple pair of pajamas to change into, heading back into the bedroom.
"When I took the role, there were none of those scenes in it...I swear..."
"And you just what, rolled over to her demands? The studios? Bucky, the movie DIDN'T FUCKING REQUIRE ANY OF THOSE SCENES!"
He flinched seeing as how you rarely raise your voice. He looked down and fiddled with his hands.
"You disrespected me by agreeing to do those scenes and not telling me about them. I'll bet Natasha demanded to include those scenes because it's YOU."
Bucky scowled and shook his head no.
You stood and crossed your arms.
"Did she? Was she the one who insisted on doing those scenes with you?"
"Maybe..." He whispered back.
"Unbelievable." You threw your hands up in the air.
"It didn't mean anything, it's acting..." Bucky stood up and faced you.
"Oh really? Taking her clothes off, having your lips ALL over her body, tell me James...you didn't feel ANYTHING for her when you were doing those scenes? On the CLOSED set? With your intimacy co-ordinator? Those positions were awfully close..."
"It's not like that and you know it. It's professional..."
"Save it James, I don't want to hear it." You growled back.
"The fact that you were on set with her doing those things with her...then when I visited, you went from her to me. I feel gross knowing where you were, then with me..." You shuddered to yourself.
You got to your side of the bed and threw the pillows off, pulling back the covers.
"I guess in your mind, it's easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission then?"
"It's not like that." He stepped towards you but stopped.
"Get out." You pointed to the door.
Bucky was about to reply, but you could see him close his mouth and shuffle out of the bedroom with his head hung low. You walked over and closed the door, locking it.
"I have that meeting tomorrow...with my team...then I have to go to the airport and head to New York for more promotion..."
"Have fun." You called through the door.
You heard him make his way down the hall as you walked over to the bed, grateful you had your phone with you for something to distract you. You got in and sighed, pulling the covers over you. Your head was a mess. You started thinking perhaps you overreacted, but the anger and hurt you felt was still coursing through you.
You felt betrayed and blindsided and foolish, thinking THAT was the feeling you felt when you last visited the set. Everyone knew there were intimate scenes and the director knew of your request with Bucky, but no one told you, not even your own fiancé who promised he'd never do those scenes with anyone. He must have told everyone on set not to say anything, which makes it somehow worse.
You opened social media, seeing the posts and talk online about the premiere and one post made you almost puke. Natasha posted on her account a behind the scenes photo of Bucky, shirtless lying in a bed with a sheet draped over his waist while he was listening to the director. The image was somewhat blurry, but his body was the focus and the caption read, "I get to have this all to myself...again..." Making you gag.
You scrolled down, and your heart sank at what you saw through your blurry eyes. Bucky had 'liked' the photo making your heart stop.
"What the fuck?" you blurted out. He LIKED that post? Fucking unbelievable.
You scowled and tossed your phone to the side. You fiddled with your engagement ring, twirling it on your finger and looked around the large bedroom you were in.
"This isn't me." You whispered to the darkened room. You let your tears flow as you turned over, burying your face in the pillow.
The following morning, you woke feeling groggy and sore from tossing and turning all night. You listened to see if you could hear Bucky, but there was no noise coming from the rest of the penthouse. You grabbed your phone and found a bunch of unread messages from Bucky, mainly apologising and saying how sorry he was, but you ignored them. You found a message from your friend, who still lived in your hometown.
Wanda had texted you asking if you were ok. She had seen the images from the premiere and what Nat had posted knowing you were engaged to one of Hollywood's leading men.
She was the one who encouraged you to go on a date with him and when you opened the message, you snorted to yourself.
Wanda: Hey, you looked amazing at the premiere last night, your dress was unbelievable. Too bad that skank ruined it for you with that post. Can you believe it? Well, I can, but still...call me/text me so I know you're ok. Oh, and the studio space is going to be available next to my shop next month...there aren't any offers on it...just sayin' and I have a rental house you could use...it's conveniently empty btw...call me!!
You sighed, looking around the room. "I need to get out of here." You muttered, pulling yourself out of bed.
You cleaned up and opened the door to head to the kitchen when you almost tripped over a large bouquet of your favourite flowers sitting in the hallway.
"Fucking asshat." You muttered, stepping over and ignoring them.
You saw an unmade 'bed' on the couch and rolled your eyes, getting to the fridge to make something when your phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Flights are a decent price and available..." Came Wanda's voice on the other end.
You chuckled and said, "I know. I looked earlier when I was changing."
"So, come home for a bit. I'd like to see you and the kids miss their 'aunt'."
You smiled to yourself and shoved a piece of dry toast in your mouth.
"I can't believe he liked that photo. There are others I saw...but he didn't like those, I checked."
"Wanda..." You sighed.
"What? I'm just sayin'. Take some time and come home, we miss you."
You smiled to yourself and ran a hand over your face.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Yes!" She cheered making you laugh.
...End of flashback
You stood on the deck of your rental house, overlooking the lake. You saw the interview Bucky had done with Tony Stark, but that didn't make you change your mind about things A small part of the fortress around your heart cracked, but it was going to take a lot more than that to convince you he was a changed man.
You breathed in the fresh lake air and relaxed, looking over the glistening lake and the sounds of the water lapping against the shore, revelling in the calmness of it all.
You didn't take Wanda up on her offer and stay at her place since you wanted a quiet place to yourself.
"Hey!" Wanda peered around the corner and came up on the deck. She helped you arrange the temporary rental house you were in.
"I can't believe you didn't take me up on my offer and rent my house."
You chuckled and said, "I love you Wands, but not enough to live with you. Your house is chaotic at the best of times and right now, I need quiet. I'm just glad this was available."
"So, you've officially broken things off with him?" Wanda leaned on the railing.
"Yup. Left the ring on the bedside table, gave back my security ID at the building, sent an email to Sam, packed my shit, and left him a note. He can now take whatever roles come his way and have as many intimate scenes as he wants."
"He didn't deserve a note, but I'm happy you're here."
"I know and thank you."
"I can set you up with touring the studio space if you want..."
"I know and appreciate it. For now, though, I'm just going to do my own thing. I've got a shoot in Miami next month, so I'll see what I want to do in the meantime. Maybe start a website and do some word-of-mouth local shoots. I've got some editing to do from my last two jobs so that'll keep me busy for now but if you want, you can spread the word I'm back and available if someone needs some photographs done."
"Ok. So, you'd be down for doing weddings? Landscapes? Corporate head shots?"
Your stomach flopped at the possibility of you going back to do weddings, but you're damn good at it and you will need more money coming in since you're renting a place.
"Yeah, I'm open to whatever. I just need a little time to think things through."
"Sounds good."
"Oh, I've got some landscape and wildlife cards I can make. Would you be willing to sell them in your store for me?" Wanda owned a small tourist shop in town that featured souvenirs, art, jewellery, candles and more made by the locals.
"Absolutely. Let me know the price points and I can get them into my inventory."
"Thanks Wanda."
"So, let me know when you're settled and we can go for supper or a drink, or coffee, whatever. I'm just glad you're back." She gave you a big hug before she left.
"See you, Wanda." You waved at her as she left.
🎭🎬
"I'll be away indefinitely Sam."
"I know." Sam held his phone in one hand and balanced a laptop on his lap.
"So, what, I'll keep things going here? Media wants an update on your relationship status with Y/n...what do I tell them, especially after the interview with Stark..."
Bucky sighed. He didn't want to cause any more work for Sam, but it was inevitable from what happened on the show.
"Tell them I'm taking a personal break, nothing more."
"Ok, but be prepared for the speculation..."
"What speculation Sam?"
"With Natasha and the movie. Those scenes were something else and that liked post..."
"I didn't like that post, I swear to god..."
"Hey, I'm just the messenger..." Sam raised his hands up at his boss.
"Someone from Pierce's team liked the post..."
"I know..." Sam shrugged.
"This is such a mess..." Bucky sighed.
He glanced over at where your ring sat and he cleared his throat at the sudden emotion that bubbled up inside him. When he came back from his mini press tour on the east coast and discovered you had left, calling off the engagement, leaving your ring behind, he lost it and cried for the entire evening.
He'd never cried that much, not even when his own father had passed away. He royally screwed things up, but he was determined to fix this, make it right, and get you back, whatever it took. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was a complete and utter moron for what he did to you.
"Go and catch your flight. If I need you, I know how to find you." Sam said as Bucky walked over to the bedside table and snatched the ring up, throwing it in his bag, then zipped it up and saluted Sam before he left.
🎭🎬
You had just done the last edits on one of the shoots you did when you decided you were going to go and sit on your deck with a glass of wine, but you froze when you got outside.
"James?"
"Hi Y/n."
James Barnes stood in your yard, wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a black baseball hat pulled low over his eyes.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I..." He looked confused, looking down, then back up at you, running a hand over his neck.
"I don't know honestly...I just know I need to be close to you. I'm sorry and I love you Y/n." Y
ou didn't move or offer him to sit in one of the outdoor chairs.
"Well, you can leave anytime." You pointed to the way he came.
"Uh, right. I-I just wanted to..."
"What?" You were getting impatient.
"Y/n, I miss you. I-I needed to see you..."
You glared at him, not saying anything.
"I'll be on my way..." James turned and scurried away, heading back to the main road.
"What the hell?" You said, shaking your head.
Your phone dinged with a new message.
Wanda: I think I screwed up.
You looked at the message funny but then an incoming Facetime call came in from her, so you answered it. She was still at her shop.
"I rented my place to James..." she blurted out.
Your eyebrows shot up.
"In my defense, I didn't know. The booking came from a Sam Wilson..."
"James' assistant..."
"Fuck, I'm sorry..."
"No, no it's fine...He was just here actually..."
"Really? What did you do? Throw a paddle at him? Drown him in the lake? Toss a feral raccoon his way?"
You snorted wishing you had.
"I told him to leave."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner it's been busy at the shop today. I saw him earlier when he checked in to get the key with me, but I lost track of time. I almost didn't give it to him, but I could use the money..."
"Wanda, it's fine really, you didn't know and I expect you to rent your little house to whomever, honestly, it's ok."
She sighed with relief.
"Ok. I just wanted to tell you. I feel better after stressing about it all day."
You chuckled at her.
"Are you sure you're ok? I can have Thor come and check on you. He's the sheriff on nights this week."
"I'm fine Wanda, honestly."
"Ok, well, I'm heading home to cook dinner for those monsters of mine. I'll talk to you later."
"Later Wanda" then the call ended.
🎭🎬
Word on the street from the locals was, big fancy Hollywood actor James Barnes was taking refuge in your sleepy little cottage town. Most locals know you and know you were with the actor, but surprisingly, very few people asked about it and left you alone if you went into town to get groceries or to visit Wanda.
You got a few stares and whispers here and there, but no one said anything and that's what you liked about your small town. If only you could prevent the man from randomly sending you flowers, gifts, and notes every day of the week, then you'd be perfect.
🎭🎬
"Is that another one?"
You brought Wanda a vase of flowers to her shop and placed them at her front counter.
"He keeps sending me these..." You huffed, brushing your hands on your thighs.
"Well, I'm not complaining, they are beautiful even though they're from an asshole."
"Anyways, if I get any more, I'll let you know."
"I hate to say it, but you're going to have to talk to him at some point." Wanda made a gagging sound making you snort.
"I know. I'm just not ready yet."
You know she's right, but you weren't ready to face that head on.
"Ooh, I hope the next flowers are red roses..." Wanda tapped her chin in thought as you playfully rolled your eyes, then headed out of her shop so you could go back to work.
🎭🎬
"So, that was what I was thinking...for the website." You said, going over your notes. Steve Rogers, graphic artist and web designer sat across from you at the café while he made his notes.
"I can do some mock ups for you and have them ready to approve in a few weeks. Send me the file and I can get my team working on them."
"That works for me, thanks Steve."
You went to school with Steve and he stayed in town after graduation. He had a successful design business that included graphic design, websites, and promotional materials. You placed your file in your tote bag and sipped your cooling coffee.
"So, you're back for good?"
"Yup."
He finished his latte and sat back in his seat. You had a sneaking suspicion Steve was into you in school and by the way he was looking at you, he was still interested.
You had messaged him a few days ago and decided to meet at the café to go over your website.
"And you're renting the lake house?"
"Yeah. I really like it. It needs a bit of updating, but for now, it suits me. I was going to contact the renter to see if I can make some changes, maybe even offer to buy it..."
"I know him. I'll send him a quick email to let him know you're going to be reaching out."
"Thanks Steve." He smiled and typed away on his phone.
The café wasn't busy, but you noticed the door open and a dark figure walked in. It was James. You tensed up at seeing him again. You watched him order a black coffee and head to a table in the back corner, sitting down to face you.
Was he just going to creep about the town?
Steve noticed where you were looking and then he cleared his throat.
"Want me to shoo him away?"
He knows about your history with the actor as you're certain most of the town does.
"No, it's ok. I'm leaving soon anyways."
"Ok. So, I was thinking..."
"Steve..."
"Would you maybe want to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime?"
You flashed him a warm smile. If this were literally any other timeline you would take him up on his offer.
"Steve...I just broke things off with my fiancé so I'm not in a place at the moment..."
"Oh...right...I forgot..."
"But if I ever get there, then I'll let you know."
"Ok."
Steve fidgeted with his empty cup before he sighed, getting up from the table. You joined him and reached over and gave him a hug.
"Thanks again Steve, it was nice seeing you again."
"You're welcome. I'll be in touch about the website." Steve said before he grabbed his file and left.
You looked over at James who was scowling at you from his booth.
Was he mad you hugged Steve? Tough shit.
You gathered your tote and left the café for home.
🎭🎬
A few weeks went by, and you've been busier than ever. Your website was up and running along with a few bookings for weddings and family portrait shoots along the lake. You were glad you were keeping busy since your ex-fiancé had the tendency to show up wherever you are and it's becoming annoying.
Between the longing looks he's been giving you, morning and evening text messages you don't reply to, the random groceries he has delivered, flowers that randomly show up to your house, it was a lot. You received a message from Wanda one morning and you almost lost it. Not that you were angry or sad, in fact, it was the opposite as you covered your mouth from laughing.
Wanda had told you she found a raccoon in her yard but wasn't exactly sure where it came from. She hadn't the heart to get rid of the thing and just left it since it wasn't causing her any issues with her house.
Her kids had taken to naming it Agatha and it was apparently reigning terror on her renter. You opened the video she sent you to hear her snickering and chuckling in the background seeing Bucky running around the yard with Agatha chasing him followed by another shot of the raccoon hissing and snarling at him while he tried entering the house.
Seeing him scared and lose it on a woodland creature was the highlight of your morning until one morning, you received a phone call from the hospital.
"What's going on James?" You said, entering the small exam room.
He was sitting on the bed holding some gauze to his arm.
"That fucking raccoon again...bit me and hung on as I stepped out of the house for my run." He muttered.
You had to hide a snicker.
"What raccoon?" You innocently asked.
"The one at your friend's place. It's living in the attic of my rental house."
So that's where it's been living. You may or may not tell Wanda about that.
"Why am I even here?"
You saw him shrug, but wince as his arm moved slightly.
"I never changed my emergency contact information..." James rubbed his arm.
"Clearly. How bad is the bite?"
"Need stitches and a rabies shot. I offered Wanda to call an exterminator, but her kids lost it when they overheard."
You chuckled but cleared your throat.
"Yeah, the boys see the raccoon as a buddy."
"Well, this thing attacks me every day, like it's evil or something..."
"Well, the nurse will stitch you up and you'll get your shot. Can I go now?"
Just as you said that a nurse walked in.
"Hello. Oh, I know you!"
The nurse eagerly flopped on a chair in front of Bucky and smiled widely.
"Your movie was awesome. I mean, those scenes with Nat were fire!"
He rambled on. You raised an eyebrow at the over excited nurse.
"Yeah, well, that was a mistake. I'm no longer doing movies."
You looked at James funny.
"Aw, man, really? I can stitch your arm, so it won't scar..."
"Doesn't matter. Can you just get this over with?"
The nurse shrugged then got his station set up. He went to work on stitching the bite as you watched.
"So, you're what? Taking a break from Hollywood for the summer?" You asked, your curiosity getting the best of you.
"Forever." James muttered, watching the nurse stitch his wound.
Your mouth popped open, but you scoffed.
"Yeah, ok."
You didn't believe him, just another lie he was telling you. James looked at you and his eyes were serious.
"I'm serious. I sold my penthouse, moved everything into storage, and now...I'm here. Not sure where the future will take me, but it's no longer acting and Hollywood."
Holy frigballs, you were stunned as was the nurse.
"I'm trusting you not to say anything...I'll sign whatever you want if it keeps you quiet." James scowled at the nurse who nodded to him.
"I promise..." He said, finishing the sutures.
"There we are." The nurse smiled, inspecting his work.
"The doctor will come in and check on you. I'll go and get the shot ready..."
The nurse pointed to the door before he slipped out. You were left with James in the exam room as he inspected the bandage.
"I...I'm shocked..." You whispered, not sure what else to say.
Acting was his life. Roles were coming into him like a non-stop conveyor belt. He had his pick of roles, co-stars, pay, and endorsements. Companies and designers wanted James Barnes wearing their clothes, using their products, all while making movies and attending red carpet events.
"Well, that's...unexpected..."
James looked at you and you felt a zing when his eyes focused on yours. You cleared your throat as the nurse came in with the shot followed by the doctor.
"So, after the shot, rest and relax. You should be good to go after a few days. The stitches are dissolving ones, but if you have any issues, come back and see us."
"Ok." James said as he was given his shot.
"There we are." The nurse said proudly.
"You're free to go. Come along Peter, let's head to the next room and see what awaits us." The doctor excused himself as did the nurse, leaving you once again, along with James.
You're not sure why you stayed but were glad you did.
"Well, bye James." You said, turning to the door.
"Wait, I don't have a way home..." He rose from the bed.
"I guess I can drive you..."
🎭🎬
"So, your website looks good." James quietly admitted.
"Mm mmm."
You drove out of the hospital and back onto the road.
"Been busy?" He asked, trying to fill the awkward silence.
"Yup."
"Good, I'm glad."
"Where am I taking you?"
"Just back to the house. I should rest."
"Ok."
"I didn't like that picture. It was someone from Pierce's team..." James blurted out.
You didn't want to hear it.
"It was the last thing Pierce did to me before I fired him."
You pulled up in front of Wanda's and parked. James undid his seatbelt and went to open the door before he stopped and faced you.
"I really am sorry Y/n. I quit and am committed to living here for as long as it takes."
"For as long as what takes?"
He gripped the handle and opened the door, but he stopped.
"Until I get you back" he said before he left your vehicle, closing the door.
The trio x reader, I wanted just a tiny tiny bit of angst. Just a lil bit…
“What the hell were you thinking Con!!?”
Ony’s voice echoes through the hospital walls. The waiting room was basically empty except for you, him, Connie, and an elderly lady knitting in the corner.
Ony was furious. As he should be. Getting a call at the office of you in a panic. Get here now. You had cried on the phone. He was on the highway doing 90 in a 65 to get to the emergency room. Speeding tickets be damned. You collapsed the minute you saw him. Connie’s pacing had stopped when the 6’0 muscular man stepped through the door, his heart dropping into his stomach. Ony was always calm and collected. But in this moment, it was like he was a different person. “How could you have been so fucking stupid Con?! Do you realize that both of yall could have fucking died!” He continued to yell, much to the discomfort of others around him. “I-I didn’t mean to…I was thinking…” Connie sputters. “Of course you weren’t. Because you don’t fucking think. You always play too damn much. Damn.” He snaps.
Your heart hurt for Connie as his eyes watered. “It was an accident.” He whimpers but Ony wasn’t being reasonable. “Accident or not. Eren is in a fucking hospital bed because of your dumb ass mistake. Can you for once take shit serious and do something right!” Connie’s chest rises and falls, tears slipping down his face. “Sir. If you can’t keep it down we will have to ask you to leave.” A nurse comes over to us. Ony steps back from Connie and storms out the door mumbling “I need a fucking minute.” Connie walks in the other direction and slumps down in the chair. His hands come up to him face, shoulder shaking and the tears fall. “Oh Connie baby.” You rush over to him. Connie was the jokester, always wearing a smile and making everyone laugh. Seeing him like this.
You hated it.
You squat down in front of him slowly moving his hands out of the way. He looks at you, eyes bloodshot red. “I fucked up mamas. I…” he hiccups. “It was my fault. I was driving and not paying attention. I didn’t see…” his voice cracks and he drops his head again. “Fuck, this is all my fault. I could’ve gotten him killed.” He breaks down in your arms, tears wetting up your shoulder. You shush him gently, rubbing his back until he can get it all out. “Baby. It’s not your fault.” You say to him. “You were just being you. The other driver ran the light.” He shakes his head. “I should’ve seen him coming. Maybe I could’ve swerved or slowed down.” He tries to pin it on himself. “Connie, no. This wasn’t on you. At all.” You state firmly. He looks up at you again.
“Ony hates me.” He whispers broken. “He doesn’t hate you. He’s worried about you both. I will talk to him.” You say rubbing the side of his face, wiping tears from his cheek. He nods and drops his head again. Frustration bubbling under your skin you walk out to find a pacing Ony. “You want to explain to me what the fuck that was.” You snip walking up to him. His tear stained face looks at you as he huffs. He walks over to the curb and sits down. “I didn’t… I overreacted.” He speaks. You’ve never heard his voice sound so…small.
“I fucked up. I know. But when you called and told me. I…” he shakes. “I called their phones. Neither of them answered and…” his eyes look up at you. Worn and tired. “I thought we had lost them both.” His tears were silent and slow. He was angry with himself for lashing out. He never does, especially not at any of you. But his heart was heavy, anxiety through the roof and the thought of losing them. “It doesn’t make it right. And it’s not his fault I know. I just… FUCK.” He says. “You need to apologize to him. He thinks you hate him.” You say gently, allowing him to process. “Hate him?? I could never fucking hate him.” Ony says into his hands.
“You don’t?” A gentle voice says from behind you. You look over your shoulder to see Connie standing there, hands fidgeting. Most of the blood from him had been cleaned up and his scars were bandaged. The car had hit Eren’s side when they were driving so Connie was able to walk away mostly banged up and bruised. Ony stands quickly and rushes over to Connie pulling him into his arms. “Fuck baby boy. I’m so fucking sorry. No I don’t hate you.” He reassures him with gentle kisses all over his head and face. His hands grab Connie’s face and he makes him look up at him. “I was wrong. So wrong. I lashed out out of fear. Baby, I thought I had lost you both.” He explains. Both men’s tears begin to fall. “I’m sorry Onya. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Connie cries. “It’s okay baby. I got you. It’s not your fault at all. I fucking love you. You hear me?” The reassurance breaks Connie further as he falls into Ony’s embrace, allowing his tears to fall onto his chest. They stand there for a moment, collecting themselves.
“I’m scared.” Connie whispers. “Don’t be.” You say. “He will be okay.” As you speak a nurse comes out. “I’m looking for the family of Eren Yeager?” She speaks. “That would be us. Is he okay?” You rush forward. “He’s okay. He is awake and is asking for you all.” You follow her to the room, Ony and Connie hot on your trail. Eren sits up in the hospital bed, his green eyes shift to the door when you all burst through. “Damn, yall were worried about me weren’t you?” He smirks. You sigh a sound of relief as you walk to the side of his bed. “Not is not the time boy.” You say with a kiss. Ony comes on the other side, “you fucking scared us.” He says placing his own kisses. Connie stands by the door, shuffling his feet. “Uh uh we not doing that. Bring your big headed goofy ass over here.” Eren says to him. He walks in closer. “E, fuck I’m so sorry…” Connie starts. “Nope. It’s done. I forgive you. Not your fault. Now come over here and love on me like everybody else.”
Connie walks close and Eren pulls him in by the back of his neck giving him a soft kiss. “I’m okay baby. Promise.” He whispers against his lips. You sit for as long as long as the hospital will allow before it’s time to say goodbye. Connie offers to stay over with Eren. “Good. You got some making up to do tonight.” Eren smirks at him. Connie rolls his eyes, face turning red. You kiss them both before walking out on Ony’s arm with promises of muffins in the morning. “Climb on in this bed.” You hear Eren tell Connie as you leave. You giggle in the midst of it all.
“I’m really sorry about how I acted.” Ony says as your step outside. “Sorry for caring?” You ask. “The yelling. The words. It’s…. It was wrong.” He says feeling defeated. “Hey, it’s okay. We aren’t perfect. We make mistakes and we will fuck up. But it’s the things we do to make it right that matters. And that’s what you did. It’s not wrong to care about the people you love.” You encourage. He sighs, kissing you on the forehead.
“Guess I got some making up to do too. Starting with you.” He says softly as he opens the car door and let you in. “Yeah, you do.” You smile. You buckle up as he drives off down the road.
“Everyone find a partner. No more than groups of three,” the teacher announced after assigning the class a project.
You saw the way that the other kids looked at their friends as the teacher spoke about a project. The way that everyone ran up like they knew exactly who to work with the second the teacher stopped talking. But most importantly, you saw the way that nobody even glanced at you. Like you didn’t even exist.
It wasn’t a surprise. You were the shy, quiet student who sat at the back of class and only spoke if you were forced to.
As you scanned the classroom, you saw everyone click like puzzle pieces. The only person you would’ve considered partnering up with was Nanami. He always seemed nice and responsible. He was the complete opposite of the kid you absolutely hated.
To your right was Satoru Gojo. He was everything you weren’t. He was loud, and popular, and a huge trouble maker. You’d always found Gojo annoying and dislikable. It wasn’t like your opinion of him mattered anyway. Everyone else seemed to love him just fine.
Unfortunately for you, Nanami had already partnered up with his best friend, Haibara. You sighed, mustering up the courage to ask the teacher if you could work alone.
“Hey, stop! I’ll actually do my part this time, I swear!” You heard Gojo promise Shoko and Geto as they formed their little group of three.
“You said that last time, Satoru,” Geto reminded. Shoko and Geto were totally ganging up on him to tease.
The chair squeaked slightly against the tile floor as you stood up, fixing your skirt as you made your way to the teachers desk.
“Mrs. A? Would it be okay if I completed the project by myself?” You asked the teacher, fiddling with your fingers.
She gave you an understanding smile. You knew your teachers liked you. You never caused trouble and always got good grades.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You can’t work on this one alone. There’s a couple groups of three. Would you like me to find you a partner?” Mrs. A replied sympathetically.
The only thing worse than not having a partner was the teacher forcing somebody to be partners with you against their will.
You knew what it was like when partners were assigned. They’d talk to their friend across the classroom and refuse to do any work because they got partnered with the smart kid that they were embarrassed to even be around.
“That’s okay, I can ask somebody,” you replied softly, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. You turned around and walked back to your seat to think. God, this was terrible. Group projects were something straight out of hell.
You hadn’t known, but Gojo had heard your conversation with the teacher. He watched as you silently made your way back to the part of the classroom where nobody was sitting.
Gojo flipped off his friends as they spoke about how he was a terrible group mate once more. “Fine. Screw you guys, I’ll find a different partner,” he told them before walking away. “Have fun,” Shoko waved goodbye. Geto was left smiling.
Gojo rolled his eyes again, glancing over at you. You’d just sat down, taking out your notebook and acting like you were doing something to stall. You don’t wanna actually ask anybody.
“Hey,” a voice spoke while you dug a pencil out of your backpack.
You looked up at see Gojo. Without saying anything in response, you just went back to looking at your notebook.
There was only one possible reason Gojo would be talking to you right now. You knew how popular kids were. How they felt so cool picking on the kids that never said anything back.
“Really? Not even a reply? That’s cold,” Gojo commented, sitting down on a seat beside you. He sprawled out, putting his feet up on a chair in front of him. “I heard you needed a partner. Turns out, I do too,” Gojo shrugged.
You looked at him like he was crazy. He was one hundred percent picking on you right now. But did you really have a choice?
“So.. whatdya say?”
“Okay,” you replied, opening your computer. “What topic do you wanna do?” You asked, fiddling with a strand of hair.
Gojo shrugged again. “Doesn’t matter to me.”
You nodded in reply. Of course it wouldn’t matter to him. Gojo wasn’t the type of kid who put much effort into schoolwork.
Since he didn’t seem to have an opinion on anything, you chose the topic that seemed the easiest. It had to do with the economic policies of the Japanese government.
You’d gotten to work almost instantly. Gojo just sat near you, tossing a paper ball in the air over and over again.
It was almost like you were the only one actually doing the work in the whole class. Everyone else was just goofing off with their friends. It seemed nice.
“So, how come you’re so quiet?” Gojo finally asked you.
You swallowed, taking a moment to answer. Social skills weren’t your strong suit. “I don’t know. I’m just quiet,” you replied. He didn’t seem too satisfied with that answer.
“But like.. why? What do you get out of it?”
It just wasn’t something a popular kid like Gojo would ever understand.
“I just don’t have anything to say. It’s hard to speak up sometimes,” you explained.
For a moment, your partner didn’t reply. He seemed to be thinking about something.
Then, Gojo caught you off guard by saying the most unexpected thing. “I know how lonely it can feel being by yourself all the time.”
That was the truth. Growing up, Gojo had been raised to be nothing but a weapon. He’d been alone for majority of his life. He understood more than you’d ever expect. Of course, you were oblivious to all of this. Why would you? Gojo seemed perfectly happy and constantly surrounded by others.
At his words, you made a confused face. He decided to elaborate.
“I didn’t really have any friends growing up. Everyone always treated me differently because of my strength.”
Never in a million years did you think you’d relate to the one boy in the classroom you hated the most. Looking back, Gojo had never really made fun of you. It was just his habit of getting himself into trouble that you disliked.
You just stared at him, not knowing what to say in reply. Before you could say anything, the bell rang.
You sighed, closing your computer and packing up your bag. “Don’t worry. I’ll do my part,” Gojo assured, slinging his bag over one shoulder. “…maybe. See ya,” He waved goodbye before catching up to his friends.
You sat there a few moments after Gojo had left, completely stunned. His kindness had been completely unexpected. A pink blush crept up your cheeks. You’d never talked to a boy that way before. Let alone the most popular boy in school.
You snapped yourself out of it before your fantasies went any further.
.
.
A few periods later, it was lunch time.
Last night, you’d had a fight with your parents. As a result of that, your mother didn’t end up packing you a lunch today.
You sighed, making your way to the lunch table you always sat at by yourself anyway.
You sat by the window, putting in your earbuds and listening to music. By now, sitting alone at lunch had been routine for you. The bathrooms had been off limits since one of the deans had found you eating lunch in there.
It was peaceful this way. Staring outside and being lost in thought while nobody bothered you. Being lonely wasn’t all bad sometimes.
Today in particular, you were thinking about Gojo. The way he’d talked to you this morning was refreshing. The conversation played over and over again in your mind.
You were shaken out of your own thoughts after feeling somebody tap your shoulder.
Ironically, Gojo was standing by you, signaling for you to take your earbuds out. You did so, waiting for him to speak. It was almost like he knew you’d been thinking about him since this morning.
“Geez, what are you listening to? I called your name like a hundred times!” He complained.
Once again, you had no reply apart from a muttered “sorry.”
“Anyway, me, Shoko, and Geto are gonna go out for lunch at the new sushi place that opened down the street. Wanna come?” Gojo asked.
A look of confusion crossed your features yet again. Why was he acting like this today? Usually, he never acknowledged you. Being invited to go out to lunch was.. it was a foreign concept to you. You were still convinced this was some sort of mean joke.
Regardless, a part of you had hope that maybe he was just being kind. “Would.. would they mind?” You asked.
Gojo shook his head.
“Okay,” you agreed hesitantly.
Gojo smiled, grabbing your arm and practically dragging you to his friends. “C’mon guys we gotta go! 30 minutes till class starts!” He insisted.
.
.
The three of you had a nice lunch at the sushi place. Gojo had let you order whatever you’d wanted. He’d payed.
Although you didn’t say much, it was nice to just sit with people and even laugh at a few of their jokes.
Gojo noticed your smile. He was glad to have prevented your loneliness. After experiencing isolation himself, Gojo didn’t want anybody else to feel the same way.
For the first time in a long time, you felt seen. You’d enjoyed yourself with other people rather than fearing them.
𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍
Lowkey wrote this to cheer myself up bc how tf do you tell ur friends u feel left out without sounding annoying 😣
He's usually seen as the overworked business man but you see a man working for your future. He's working for the two kids who call him daddy. He's working for his loving wife. He's working for the family vacation you two planned. He might come home stressed and overworked but he'll do anything for his little family. Anything to keep his family happy.
“where the hell are those three?” gakuganji asks, disgruntled. the higher-ups from jujutsu high are gathered in a meeting, which you, satoru and suguru were expected to be there for as well.
little did they know that the three of you were currently lounging on beach towels, basking in the sun’s smile.
suguru lies back with his arms crossed behind his head, eyes closed as he soaks up the heat. you have your legs stretched out with satoru’s head resting on your lap, a pair of sunglasses sitting on his peaceful face.
“this is wayyy better than a boring meeting,” satoru says, and he peeks up through the gap in the top of his sunglasses and grins once his eyes meet yours. “and a much better view than that old man.”
you giggle softly, threading your fingers through his hair which slips through like silk and he immediately leans into your touch.
you glance up at the students messing around in the water, a smile gracing your lips. well, students excluding megumi who was, now, scowling under his own beach umbrella after yuji had splashed salty water onto him - of course, eliciting a loud-ass laugh from satoru.
“they deserve this,” you say softly, glad to see the first- and second-year students having fun.
“mm, they do. and we do too.”
“don’t forget the fact that we’ll be scolded by yaga next time he sees us,” suguru reminds you and satoru, though he doesn’t seem to care either.
“hey, it’s not our fault they decided to have a meeting the day we decided to come to the beach,” satoru defends light-heartedly, as if you don’t all know that this was planned after to avoid another meeting with the higher-ups. “besides, we aren’t students anymore.”
“you say that as if you aren’t getting into trouble at least once a week, satoru,” suguru snorts, and you laugh in response knowing how true that is.
“hey! don’t gang up on me. i’m always doing the right thing, they just don’t think so.”
“of course, ‘toru. let’s get some ice cream,” you suggest, patting his hair. “do you want one, suguru?”
“no, i’m okay, thank you.”
“alright, let us know if you change your mind,” you say, taking satoru’s hand when he stands up and offers it to you to help you up. you stretch a little before lacing your fingers with his again, walking towards the ice cream stand. “let’s get some for the kids, too.”
“yeah, especially megumi. he needs one to get rid of that scowl,” satoru snorts, remembering the earlier events. “and then, i’ll drag him back to the water.”
“you’re a menace, satoru. leave the poor boy alone. i think yuji would have more fun getting dragged into the water.”
“well, yeahhh but that’s what makes it less fun for me.”
you shake your head in amusement, laughing at his reasoning. “you really are a menace.”
you both wait in line at the ice cream stand, a few people ahead of you. satoru’s arms wrap around your waist and he leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder while you wait in the queue.
“you look really pretty, you know,” he murmurs, his warm breath tickling your ear. he turns his head to press a soft kiss to your neck before resting his chin back on your shoulder. “all tanned and carefree.”
“that’s because of you. no one would’ve had so much fun today if you didn’t suggest going to the beach. it really was needed.”
“probably one of the best ideas i’ve had. the kids get to have fun, we get to avoid the higher-ups, and i get to see you in this pretty little dress.”
you snort softly in response. “well, i have to admit that you look pretty yourself. in your pretty little swim shorts,” you mimic his tone, but your words are sincere.
he laughs, keeping his arms looped around you as you step forward when the queue gets shorter.
soon, you arrive at the front of the ice cream stand, ordering one for yourself, for satoru, and the students. satoru slips his card out of the pocket of his shorts to pay for the ice cream before he balances four of the cones between his two hands and you do the same with the other four.
“we might need to walk faster before these ice creams melt all over our hands,” you say, quickening your pace.
satoru smirks and suddenly runs towards the area where all your belongings are. “last one there is a loser,” he calls out to you.
you shake your head at his words, laughing before you run after him. he gets there first, grinning as he watches you catch up. and by the time you get there, you just want to collapse back onto your beach towel because of the heat. but you both call out to the students to get their ice creams.
you hand one over to megumi as he’s already nearby under the beach umbrella and he mutters a “thanks”. you give two of the other ice cream cones to nobara and yuji, while satoru gives the rest to the second-year students.
as the kids sit and stand around with their ice creams, you settle back onto your beach towel, your knees bent as you sit up, beginning to eat your ice cream. satoru sits down beside you, half of his ice cream somehow already gone. he stares out at the ocean that mirrors his beautiful eyes.
he’s relatively quiet and this makes a singular eyebrow of yours arch curiously with a hint of concern.
“is everything okay, satoru?” you aks gently.
it’s only when he turns his gaze to you that you realise you don’t need to be concerned. even if his eyes are mostly hidden behind his sunglasses, you can see the swirl of emotions in them.
a moment passes before he nods. “yeah... i’m actually just really happy right now.”
your expression immediately softens at his words, seeing the smile on his lips that reminds you of your highschool days, and the hint of vulnerability in his eyes. he leans against you, watching the students enjoy their ice creams. he’s glad he’s able to give the students time to relax and be happy. to be kids.
as his head rests on your shoulder, you turn to give his soft hair a kiss, letting your lips linger for a moment longer. you hear him hum contently at your kiss as he continues to eat his ice cream.
but after a while, the ice cream appears to give satoru more energy than before because he’s standing up and crouching down next to suguru with a cheeky smile.
“hey, suguru?” satoru says quietly, the mischief in his tone evident.
“hm?”
“bet you can’t build a better sandcastle than me,” he says, already suggesting a competition.
suguru peeks an eye open, raising his eyebrow at the 28-year-old sorcerer. “you’re ridiculous, satoru,” he huffs, closing his eye. then, he sits up. “... you’re gonna lose that bet. i’d obviously build a better and bigger one.”
“no way, i already got it all planned out in my head. it’ll be fit for my princess.” satoru throws a cheeky wink your way. you roll your eyes playfully but you can’t help the small laugh that slips out.
“you’re on.”
“you gotta buy me a supply of mochi when you lose,” satoru says confidently with that annoying smirk of his.
“when you lose, you have to put blue hair dye in principal yaga’s shampoo.”
a shiver runs down satoru’s spine at the thought of having to do that. but his confidence comes back a second later as they shake on it.
with an amused yet gentle smile, you observe them, seeing their younger selves again. even if it was only for today.
⚔︎ using gojos insta dms as a grocery list - 10:23 am
it’s that time of the month. the time where you’re scouting the isles of your local grocery store where the deli man shamelessly shoots you winks when you’re looking his way. even flaunting how much meat he’s got packed.. weirdo
you rise up from the crumb-filled sheets, cringing as you felt a quest chip scrape against your calf. you get your phone out & go straight to the rainbow framed icon & the familiar dm of a well known sorcerer that’s pinned to the top. the dms are filled with countless of bulleted lists consisting of grocery that would make anyone think you had the cooking ideas of a grandma.
like seriously..
Last Thursday 11:57 am
• mini russet potatoes
• broccoli
• lean ground beef
• green onions
• tomato sauce
okay so those were what I got last time. let’s try switching it up, maybe get a few sweet treats too!
you browsed through the blue messages & put together a mix of what you usually bought, this week we’ll do pesto pasta and chicken.
Today 10:26 am
• pesto sauce
• whole wheat rigatoni pasta
• basil
• alfredo
• kikufuku
& sent.
you knew he was never going to see it, i mean he’s a busy sorcerer whose dms are definitely full of women.
you shut your phone off & hopped in the shower that was always left smelling like sweet coconut mixed with vanilla perfume.
unbeknownst to you by the blaring of your hair dryer, your phone lit up & displayed a rainbow-framed message.
Today 10:31 am
“No green onions today?”
you shut your dryer off & headed out on a little 5 minute commute to the bustling streets of your local grocery.
the deli man shoots you a wink. ugh..
but you try to act like you don’t see him & click on your phone to go through the list again. but the top pin is bolded with a message that doesn’t seem all too real.
now you’ve actually forgotten about that flirty deli man.
he responded?! oh my gosh this is so embarrassing.
Today 10:37 am
“i thought you wouldn’t respond..”
typing…
“You’ve been blowing up my phone, baby. How can I not?”
baby!?
you look around with a palm over your mouth to cover any squeals threatening to grace the isles.
“Wanna eat the kikufuku together? It’s my fav lol.”
by now there’s practically steam coming from your ears, the gojo satoru wants to eat sweets with you!
“um sure!”
“xxx, xx. Meet up there? After your grocery shopping of course.”
looks like i’ll have to splurge on kikufuku tonight.. sigh.
ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ in a good way yuta okkotsu x reader oneshot
cw : angst, mentions of death
note : just a little something i’m writing bc i can’t sleep. popped up in my head. italics mean they’re talking telepathically / y/n is mind reading
˚★.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹
she was dangerous. she was a special grade and was sentenced an execution with no second chance, not even gojo satoru could save her. she was too dangerous. too dangerous to the higher ups.
y/n l/n, branded as a cursed user even if she never used her technique for evil. she was born with the technique to be telepathic. she couldn’t remember when she realized she could do it, all she could rememeber was her head being filled with random voices and thoughts that weren’t hers.
she looks sad. an unfamiliar voice popped into her head. she looked towards the direction of a boy who was standing maybe a couple of feet away from her.
“i can hear you.” her voice filled his head.
“how?” his thoughts questioned.
“telepathy.” she cocked her head. “i can hear everything.”
he walked over to her. he didn’t need to introduce himself as he assumed she already read his mind. she didn’t speak verbally. she implanted her voice and her introduction into his head.
“that’s cool. just like a movie.” yuta smiled.
“it’s not so cool when it brings you a death sentence.”
they sat in silence. he sat in silence. she could hear everyone within a five mile radius. her whole life she had never known peace and quiet. she was kind of waiting for her execution. once it happened then she will she finally know what quiet it.
he could tell it has been affecting her for a while. her dark circles were crazyy and this was coming from him. he was known for his dark circles. she didn’t seem upset or sad for someone who just learned that they were going to die soon. he wanted to save her.
“make a list of all the things you want to do.”
“why? we don’t even know each other?” she eyed him. he was a weird guy. he was nice though so she couldn’t complain. better than the old guy. he looked at her like she was a waste of space, like she was a monster.
“my teacher once said ‘no one should be allowed to take youth away from young people’. and he’s right. so live life to the fullest.”
she went back to the dark dingy room they had her in. it shouldn’t even be considered a room. it was a dungeon. she was able to get out and roam around because she kept bothering the guards with constant thoughts and forced imagery. perks of being a telepathic i guess.
she created a list. it was kind of stupid but she didn’t think that he would actually let her do all of them.
things i want to do before i die
1. see the sea
2. watch fireworks at a festival
3. eat fresh sushi
4. first kiss
it was a short list. she couldn’t really think of anything to add onto it. she tried to sleep that night but the voices kept her up. she heard gojo satoru the most. he was probably nearby. he kept bringing up a name, suguru geto. man she wished she could drown it out with music but it was inside her head. nothing she did would ever drown out the voices.
y/n awoke the next morning to the sound of multiple people walking and talking. she heard yuta. he was coming closer and his thoughts were getting louder.
i wonder if she slept well. his voice was so loud she could tell he was right outside the door. she heard the sound of keys going into the door and shortly after the door opened.
“good morning.” she waved. “i didn’t get much sleep if you were wondering.”
“you knew i was coming?” he asked, amused.
“yes. i can hear everyone within a five mile radius.”
“that’s no good. that means it’s always loud for you.” he held out his hand for her to take. “did you write your list?”
she nodded and handed it to him. he read it. he smiled since she actually did it.
“let’s go to the sea.” he started walking out the room.
they rode the train all the way to the west to where okinawa was. he would’ve picked a more unknown beach so she could experience quietness but on orders from the higher ups, he had to take her to populated places.
“you look happy.” she looked at him. he was cute. he had a cute look about him.
“because we’re going to see the ocean, and then we’re going to have the freshest sushi.” he smiled. he was a smiley guy. he had a nice smile.
she gave him a small smile back. she was thankful she had someone on her side for the first time in her life. they’ve only known each other a day but she found comfort in him.
they arrived at the beach. the blue waves crashing on the shore. there was a slight breeze that tickled her face. the smell was so fresh and so new.
“it’s beautiful.” it was just like all of the pictures she’s seen. it was so beautiful it was indescribable. she put her feet into the water, flinching back at the temperature. it was such a drastic difference from the sand. she wanted to stay here for as long as she had left.
“do you like it?” he asked
“i love it.” she smiled.
“i’m happy.”
“you look so pretty. i know you’re reading my mind right now.” he looked at her. she felt a blush creeping up to her cheeks.
they sat on the beach until sunset. it was perfect. the weather was perfect. his dinner reservations at a nearby restaurant were soon causing them to leave. it was the first and last time y/n would see the ocean and she was glad she saw it with yuta.
her eyes sparkled at the sushi. it looked amazing. she took the first bite and yuta could actually see her pupil size increase. he handed her another piece for her to try.
“it tastes so good. better than anything i’ve ever had.”
as dinner came to an end, they finished the night with some dessert. nothing special, just some ice cream. the train ride home was more lively than the ride there.
“i had a lot of fun today.” he held her hand. “i can’t wait for our next outing.”
“me too. thank you for taking me out. i really do appreciate it a lot.” she squeezed his hand.
he walked her back to her dungeon room. he said goodnight and locked the door.
“don’t get too attached.” a voice said from behind him. “her fate has been decided.”
“i know.” he said to maki. “i just want her last days to be filled with fun.”
she walked with him back to the main area. she wondered why yuta was doing this for someone who had a death sentence. she didn’t question it though. she saw how y/n looked and if maki was being honest, the girl looked completely harmless. the type who wouldn’t even harm a fly. the type who’d hesitate to exorcise a curse just because it could talk.
“is she okay?” maki asked. “i can’t imagine what it feels like knowing that you have to die.”
“she seems okay, but that makes me sad. i wonder how hard her life was to the point where she seems completely okay with dying.” he frowned.
yuta didn’t come by for a couple of days. y/n knew it was because he was on a mission. she waited for him, hoping he’d come back alive. she spent her days drawing and sleeping. she had no connection to the outside world without him.
when he came back the first thing he did was visit her. he rushed down the stairs and unlocked the door just to see her faster.
“what’s the rush?” she asked him when he hugged her. “im still going to be here.”
“i just missed you.” he held her.
while away, he had a nightmare where her execution was pushed forward and she died without finishing her list. she died without him seeing her for the last time. the pain he felt in that dream was so intense, he needed to go back as soon as possible.
“let’s go to the festival today.” he pulled out a yukata from his bag. “i bought this for you to wear.”
she put it on and showed him. he was astonished. she looked stunning. she started getting shy when she noticed that his gaze just never seemed to leave her.
“do i look funny?”
“no! never. you look beautiful.” he said softly. “so beautiful.”
“stop. you’re making me shy.” she hid her face.
he held out his hand and led her up the stairs. ichiji offered to drive them. the car ride was silent but it wasn’t an awkward silence.
yuta looks happy. ichijis voice entered her head. it’s a shame it won’t last.
“thank you.” both her and yuta got out of the car, waiting for him to drive off so they can walk away.
the lanterns casted a light against her face as she visited all the stalls that caught her eye. yuta couldn’t help but have a stupid soft smile on his face. seeing y/n so happy made his heart warm. it made him happy.
“do you want some?” she held up a skewer.
he bit the piece she had already taken a bite of. her face made an expression he’d never seen her make before. he wanted to see more facial expressions from her.
“it tastes good.” he nodded.
they walked some more until they got to a hill. the perfect spot for viewing fireworks. yuta sat and cleared up some leaves for her. he put his arm around her so naturally.
boom! a firework went off. red, yellow and white lit up the sky. y/n looked up in awe. she glanced over at yuta who seemed equally just as in awe as she was. there was a stray hair out of place. she reached up to move it back.
“what?” he mouthed.
“nothing.” she shook her head. his cheek was soft.
strangely enough, yutas voice in her head faded. he had forced himself to stop thinking just for a second.
“making it a little quieter for you.” he smiled.
“thank you.”
the finale started. fireworks lighting up the sky at a rapid pace. it was gorgeous.
“y/n.” he said her name.
she looked over at him. he leaned in and kissed her. she was slightly taken aback but after a split second of shock, she kissed him back. her first kiss. it was better than she ever imagined.
5. live
she wanted to live. yuta made her want to live.
he rested his forehead against hers. he took in a breath and then another. “that was my first kiss.”
“mine too.” she kissed him again.
going home felt like a blur. all she could think about was the kiss. his lips were so soft. he smelled really good up close too.
“goodnight.” he kissed her at the door. “see you in the morning.”
the morning. the morning before she was supposed to die. she didn’t want the night to end at all. she didn’t want him to leave.
“goodnight.” she gave him another kiss before he walked away.
morning came. y/n was ready. although she has been waiting for the moment the moment it was announced, she couldn’t help but suddenly feel scared. she was walked into another room. the room was deeper underground, voices and thoughts became muffled.
yuta stood a couple of feet away from her. his breathing became uneasy. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. it wasn’t supposed to be him. he was chosen last minute because gojo had something to attend to in sendai. he looked at her face. the face of the girl he came to adore. she looked happy like she knew peace was coming very soon but there was a mixture of sadness.
there was something bittersweet about yuta being the last face she’d ever see. it wasn’t some random man she’s never met, it was him. last night felt like a dream and right now, this exact moment felt like a nightmare.
“just do it, yuta.” she gave him a warm look.
“i can’t.” he closed his eyes.
“you can do it.” she smiled. “i know you can.”
he stood there for what felt for hours. he knew this day was coming. there was really no option to save her. she wasn’t a special case like him. the decision that she had to go was final.
“hurry on up.” one of the higher ups spoke. “if we need another person to do it, we will get another to do it.”
“no. i will do it.” yuta spoke back.
“thank you, yuta.” she spoke verbally for the first time. the first time he heard her actual voice was also going to be his last. “i really did appreciate my short time with you. i didn’t know i was capable of being happy right now.” tears were threatening to fall. she enjoyed every single moment with him from the day they met til now. she swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears.
“im sorry.” he took the blade and stabbed it into her heart. he made it as painless as possible. “you made me so happy.”
y/n felt her life slipping from her. there were no more voices. there were no more thoughts. ah this must be what peace feels like.
he opened his eyes and saw her slumped over motionless in the chair that she was restrained in.
he lifted up her chin with tears in his eyes. she really did look so peaceful now. he wondered if all the voices stopped for her. he wondered if she received his last thoughts of i love you.
“i’m sorry.” he whispered again and again as he untied her and laid her body to rest on the floor.
oh y/n. the life you could’ve had if the higher ups weren’t cowards.
a/n: ahh this was rushed and i couldn’t figure out how to write it. i literally had the ending done before the rest of the story
“Please let me cum,” Gojo begged, bucking his hips into you as you rode him until he couldn’t take it anymore.
He whined and whimpered under you, his platinum hair falling onto his sweat covered forehead. Gojo’s hands hovered by your waist, knowing you’d scold him if he touched you. He’d been a bad boy today. You’d had enough of his jokes and pranks and deemed him worthy of a punishment.
You smiled at his whines, placing your hands on his chest. You bounced on his large cock as Gojo’s face twisted. Every grind of your hips made him cry out.
He didn’t seem to be laughing now.
“Baby! Sweetheart, please!” Gojo gasped out, struggling to keep himself composed. He squirmed under you, biting his bottom lip to stay sane. Gojo was still driving into you without control over his own body. He couldn’t help but grasp your hips, his nails digging into your soft skin. “Fuck- please..” he muttered.
“Use your words, honey. What do you want, toru?” You asked, continuing your brutal pace.
“I wanna cum!”
You chuckled, reaching a hand up to grab his chin and force him to look at you. “Are you sorry for what you did?”
It was fun to deny with him this way to coax an apology out of him. Seeing the strongest pleading to fill you up turned you on in unimaginable ways.
“Mh! I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry, please baby.. let me cum. Let me cum inside you..” Gojo couldn’t take it much longer. Tears welled in his eyes as the pleasure consumed him.
You leaned forward, giving him a kiss on the lips. “Go ahead,” you permitted, forgiving him.
He whimpered, tightening his grip on your hips and thrusting up into you until he bottomed out completely.
“Fuck! oh..” he gasped, finally finishing inside of you. Gojo’s head fell back onto the pillow as his legs twitched. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you too.
You lifted yourself up from his dick, the hot, thick semen spilling out of you and dripping down your inner thighs.
Gojo attempted to catch his breath, still a total mess. He’d come completely undone for you.
“You’re such a good boy..” you praised, planting a kiss on his sweaty forehead. He hummed in reply, fully aware of the fact that he was a pathetic fool when it came to you.
⤷ ゛ ˎˊ˗ cw: hurt/comfort, jealous megumi, friends with benefits, poor yuji is just minding his business and then a wild megumi appears, piv sex, sub-ish megumi, creampie, megumi does not communicate his feelings at all, mutual pining, adult megumi, adult yuji, 2.2k
note: hiii this is based off of this request i got! he isn't very subby but i tried!
masterlist
you and megumi had an arrangement.
it started one night after a mission that left both of you bloodied and wired, he’d pinned you against the wall of an empty classroom and kissed you like he was starving. neither of you had talked about it the next morning. or the morning after that. it simply became a pattern of late nights, shared showers that lasted too long, and his cock buried deep inside of you.
friends with benefits. that was the label you’d both settled on.
you told yourself it was enough.
megumi never asked for more. he never stayed the night. he never kissed you in daylight.
yuji, on the other hand, had never learned the meaning of personal space.
he hugged you when he was happy. he hugged you when he was tired. he threw an arm around your shoulders while you walked across campus, high-fived you hard enough to sting, and once, after a particularly brutal training session, had scooped you clean off your feet in a celebratory spin that left you laughing and breathless. it was just yuji. that's how he had always been.
megumi hated it.
you didn’t notice at first. but the shifts were small. he stopped answering your texts as quickly. he started finding reasons to leave the common room the moment yuji sat too close to you. when the three of you trained together, megumi’s corrections toward you were sharper, colder. you asked him once, late at night with his mouth still on your neck, if something was wrong.
“nothing's wrong,” he’d said, and then he’d fucked you harder than usual, like he was trying to erase the question from your pretty little head.
you stopped asking.
a few days later, you and yuji had just finished a joint mission report. the sun was warm, the sky clear, and yuji—still riding the high of the mission—had pulled you into one of his full-body hugs without warning. you laughed, hugging him back the way you always did, cheek pressed to his shoulder, his arms tight around your waist.
you didn’t see megumi until he spoke.
“are you two done?”
his voice was flat. you stepped back from yuji and turned. megumi stood a few feet away, hands in his pockets, expression unreadable except for the tightness at the corners of his mouth.
“megumi—” you started.
he was already walking past you both.
yuji called after him, cheerful as ever, but megumi didn’t answer. you watched the set of his shoulders and felt something cold settle in your stomach.
later that evening you found him in the library, alone at a corner table with a book he clearly wasn’t reading. you sat across from him.
“what’s gotten into you?”
he didn’t look up. “nothing.”
“it’s obviously not nothing."
megumi’s jaw flexed. he turned the page, still refusing to meet your gaze. then he rolled his eyes in annoyance and went back to staring at the new page.
the silence stretched and frustration burned under your skin. you’d spent weeks pretending his distance didn’t bother you, pretending the way he looked at you didn't make you want to crawl inside of yourself.
“fine,” you said, standing. “don’t tell me. i gotta go anyway. i’m going to the movies with yuji and nobara in a bit.”
that was when he spoke.
“of course you are. you’ve never had any problem being all over him.”
you froze.
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
megumi finally lifted his gaze. his eyes were cold in a way that had nothing to do with the usual quiet intensity he carried. “exactly what i said." he paused, then added, softer and somehow worse, “guess you're just easy that way."
his words landed harsh and deep.
you stared at him for a long second, waiting for him to take it back, to say anything that would make it less painful. but he didn’t. he only watched you with that same flat expression, as if daring you to argue.
you left before he could see the tears welling in your eyes.
the movie ended up being soooo good. nobara and yuji spent the entire trip back to jujutsu high talking over each other about the fight choreography, the soundtrack, the ridiculous plot twist towards the end. you sat beside them quietly, phone forgotten in your pocket, replaying megumi’s voice on a loop.
guess you're just easy that way.
nobara glanced over at you, frowning. “hey. you good?”
“yeah.” you forced a small smile. “just tired. didn’t sleep well last night.”
she accepted it, though her eyes lingered a second longer than usual. yuji threw an arm around both of you, warm and solid and completely unaware. you let him, though it didn’t quite feel the same.
by the time you reached your dorm you felt like complete shit. you kicked off your shoes, dropped onto the bed, and put in your earbuds without actually listening to whatever playlist came on. your phone screen glowed uselessly in your hand while megumi’s words continued to replay over and over.
you tried to put them out of your mind. to focus on listening to your favorite song coming through your earbuds, but you couldn't.
you felt the sting behind your eyes once more. like you were about to cry, when there came a knock at your door.
you pulled one earbud free. “come in.”
you figured maybe it was nobara coming to check on you. even though you had managed to get her to back off, you knew deep down she didn't buy the bs excuse you had given.
the door clicked shut and when you looked up, your breath hitched.
megumi stood just in front of the door, his black hair messier than usual, like he had just spent hours raking his fingers through. for a moment neither of you spoke. then he exhaled, and the careful mask he always wore cracked.
"i'm sorry," his voice was low, and rough around the edges. “i didn’t mean it. not the way it came out. not any of it.” he dragged a hand through his hair again, restless, fingers catching and tugging. the motion left it even messier.
“i know i have no right to be jealous. i know we’re not—” he stopped, jaw flexing hard enough that you saw the muscle jump. a breath left him, controlled but shaky. “that this was never supposed to be anything more than what it is. but seeing you with him…”
his eyes finally lifted to yours. they were darker than usual, vulnerable in a way that made your stomach twist.
“it broke something. i kept telling myself it didn’t matter. that i could keep doing this without wanting more. that what we are is enough. but i was lying.”
your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your throat, in the tips of your fingers, in the sudden heat blooming under your skin. you couldn’t look away from him. every careful wall he’d ever kept up between you felt like it was cracking, and the pieces of it were landing right in the center of your chest.
megumi’s gaze didn’t waver. “i want you to be mine,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. "i’ve wanted it for a long time—longer than i let myself admit. i just… didn’t know how to say it without ruining everything. without scaring you off."
the confession hung heavy between you.
you had wanted him too. had wanted the nights that didn’t end with him slipping out before dawn, the quiet sound of the door clicking shut while you stared at the ceiling and pretended it didn’t hurt. you had convinced yourself that he would never want the same things.
your breathing had gone shallow. you could hear it, soft and uneven, in the small space of the room.
megumi took a step closer, then another, until he was standing at the edge of your bed. the mattress dipped faintly when his knee brushed the frame. up close you could see the tension in his throat when he swallowed, the way his hands flexed once at his sides like he didn’t trust himself to reach for you yet.
“i’m sorry,” he said again, softer this time. the words carried the weight of everything he’d held back. “please. forgive me.”
you didn’t answer with words.
you surged up from the mattress, fisted a hand in the front of his sweater—feeling the heat of his skin through the fabric—and pulled him down into a bruising kiss. his breath hitched against your mouth, a low, broken sound that vibrated through both of you.
for half a second he froze, as if the reality of it still hadn’t caught up with him yet. then his hands found your waist, fingers pressing in hard enough to bruise, and he kissed you back like you were the air he needed to breathe.
his hands were everywhere at once—tangling in your hair, sliding down your back, gripping your hips hard enough to leave faint marks. you yanked his shirt up and over his head in one impatient motion; he barely gave you time to drop it before he was dragging yours off with the same urgency, knuckles brushing the undersides of your breasts as the offending clothing came off. shoes kicked away, pants shoved down and kicked off, underwear following in a clumsy, desperate scramble until there was nothing left between you but skin.
he guided you down onto the mattress, the sheets cool against your back for only a second before the solid weight of him settled over you. he braced himself on his forearms, caging you in, and the blunt head of his cock nudged against your entrance.
the first slow push inside you dragged a shared groan from both of your throats. you were already wet for him—had been since the moment he said he wanted you to be his—and the stretch of him filling you inch by inch made your head tip back against the pillow.
megumi rolled his hips in deep strokes, pulling almost all the way out before sinking back in to the hilt, making sure you felt every inch of him, every drag and press against the sensitive places inside you.
the pace was devastating. each thrust was slow enough that you could feel the ridge of him sliding along your walls, the way your body clenched around him on every withdrawal.
“megumi—” his name left you on a shaky moan, breath catching when he bottomed out again. “you feel so good. fuck—so good.”
a low, answering sound rumbled in his chest. he dipped his head, mouth brushing yours as he spoke, voice rough and frayed at the edges.
“you feel so good,” he murmured, echoing you. “so fucking perfect.” another slow, deep thrust that punched a soft cry from your throat. “beautiful, too. you’re so beautiful like this—taking me so well.”
"oh god! nngg—"
his forehead dropped to yours, eyes half-lidded and dark, the intensity in them almost too much to hold. the next words came quieter, spoken between the roll of his hips.
“i want to wake up to you in the mornings. i want to hold your hand where everyone can see. i want to kiss you whenever i want—without having to pretend it doesn’t mean anything.”
your hands slid up the flexing muscles of his back, nails biting lightly into his skin as another moan of his name slipped out of you. “i want that too,” you whispered, the words broken by the steady, deep rhythm of him moving inside you. “all of it—megumi, please—”
something in his expression fractured at the sound of his name on your tongue. he reached between your bodies without breaking the pace, the pad of his thumb finding your clit with unerring precision. he rubbed tight, focused circles over the swollen bud in perfect time with the deep roll of his hips, pressure firm and relentless.
“cum for me, pretty girl,” he commanded, low and certain, eyes locked on yours. “let me feel it. want to feel you cum around me.”
your orgasm hit hard, crashing through you in a sudden, overwhelming wave.
you clenched around him with a broken moan of his name — high and wrecked—thighs trembling against his hips as the pleasure washed through you. megumi’s rhythm faltered only for a second before he followed, a low, guttural groan tearing from his throat as he buried himself as deep as he could go and came inside you. you felt every hot pulse of him, the way his cock throbbed as he spilled into you, hips stuttering through the last few shallow thrusts until he was spent.
for a long moment the only sound in the room was the two of you trying to catch your breath. megumi stayed braced over you, still buried deep, the weight of him grounding you back to the present. his eyes searched yours, something raw and almost cautious flickering behind the usual calm.
“so… does this mean you’re mine?” his voice was quiet, and raspy.
a breathless giggle escaped you. you reached up, gently brushed a damp strand of hair from his forehead, and answered without hesitation.
— You can’t really mess with Satosugu’s princess ;)
Tags: [ANGST (?) ] protective bsfs!satosugu x bullied!reader, slight violence, harsh language, Naoya and Mahito as bullies. Brief mention of childhoodbsf!choso.
This request <3
“No, Yuji, she won’t reject you, just go.” You usher the 16-year-old onto his homeroom classroom before he has another go at trying to convince both you and himself that his recent little crush on a classmate is a joke and that he’ll make a fool of himself.
You don’t think Yuji is aware that there is half the girls of his grade drooling over him and Megumi—the two oblivious duo that’s a perfect pair of ying and yang vibes.
This is usually Choso’s responsibility—being smooth with words that actually get through his brother’s thick skill—but he’s currently fighting a nasty cold in bed and so you were the one who had to listen to Yuji gush like the middle-schooler he is about his crush.
With a deep sigh finally freeing itself from your chest, you spin on your heel and start to dread the way back to your own classroom—two floors up.
Being a senior has it’s perks—sure, you get to participate in less after school activities, cleaning, but you’re not sure it’s worth it at the end of the day with the amount of exams, homework and stairs you have climb on the way to your floor.
Your feet feel like cement bricks as you drag them across the hall and up the stairs. Actually, you feel like a heavy potato sack, particularly tired from the never ending way.
The thought of only having one more class should jump your mood and give you just about enough energy to make it through, but honestly, you’re not sure you can stand the talk of integrating equations again…
And to think you have to do the college entry exam in a few months…—
Your mind subconsciously drifts onto that rabbithole that gets you all anxias you continue climbing the stairs, failing to warn you about the approaching footsteps and person behind you until a hand wraps around your wrist and startles you.
Yanked backwards, you fall back onto leveled ground on the previous floor you were and fall right onto your knees. You cringe at the loud sound of your collision but quickly feel the pain shooting up your body and replacing that embarrassment with tears stining your eyes and blurring your vision.
The firsthand pain that clouds your mind is so strong that you can’t react or budge to see who has done this to you—but said person is quickly revealed when he starts talking.
“Well well, Y/N. Didn’t know you also fucked around with younger boys?” Naoya snarks.
You can’t tell when it started, his harassment. But you’re sure that his hate for you stems from something beyond hating how you know many people.
Mostly though, he makes your life hell for being friends with guys—as if he has some kind of rightful ownership over who you can befriend.
Maybe it was in kindergarten when you first met Choso on the playground. He was a bit of a loner if you can say that, an only child at that time with the most adorable chubby cheeks and long dark hair same as the one he still has today.
You were never one to care what others thought of someone and approached him without thinking twice about it. Plopping down onto the ground and showing him your brand new barbie.
He didn’t understand what you were doing, just stared at you with those pitch less black eyes till you smiled and he deemed you no longer a threat.
Then a friendship blossomed, Yuji was born, Megumi soon came in the picture. You automatically became like the big sister they didn’t have—well for little Yuji at least—and grew with them.
In high school, Choso peeked outside of his shell one singular time and met Suguru Geto who you didn’t hesitate to keep around after finding out they were friends and since your childhood best friend has a tendency to forget about his acquaintances, you forced Geto to hang around and eventually become part of the group.
Suguru is a group package with Satoru so he came too, and in 9th grade, you ended up with them in the same class—the bond between the three of you deepening and strengthening over the year.
Now, year 12, you’re still together.
And you know a lot of people.
Unlike Naoya who has been rejected since he was still in diapers for his horrible attitude and even worse manners.
So he made your life hell.
For being a girl.
For having more friends.
For getting everything he wants.
The words you intend to spit right back catch in your throat as another wave of pain—twice as strong—washes over you and you realise you may have fractured something.
The stairs you fell down from weren’t a few…
Naoya breaks out in a maniac laugh at your silence. “What? Did I hit the bullseye so well you can’t even bite back today?”
A loud, satisfied laugh interrupts him midway and your heart sinks even further in your chest.
“Oh Y/N, Y/N, we told you playing around with boys would get you into trouble ~” Mahito spawns behind your back, ice-cold hands catching your shoulders and forcefully pulling you up.
You blink on instinct and the tears that were brimming your waterline cascade down like a waterfall and you hate how weak it makes you because when he stands you up, you accidentally let a tiny whimper in pain escape.
And he relishes in the sound gravely.
“Does it hurt?” He coos right next to your ear, sending a chill down your spine that you won’t be able to shake.
Hands still on your shoulder keeping you somewhat steady as your knees beg you to take the weight they’re supporting off them in their weakened state.
You’re frozen, too consumed by the injury to fight back and that gives them too much ground to play with.
“Aw, say something. It’s no fun when you bite back. Say, where are your friends? Nanami, Geto, Goj-“ He gets cut off by Naoya a step behind him.
“Those aren’t her friends, she just fucks them.”
You swallow, head spinning from helplessness—all you can do is continue to silently cry.
You’ve explained over and over how you have no romantic interest in your male friends and have no intention in sleeping with them.
Yet, Naoya and Mahito follow you around like hawks—watching your every move.
Despite seeing how you don’t even touch with them—no hugs (even when you used to give and record from them, you stopped accepting or offering because you got scared what they’d do to you the day they saw you actually touch one of them), no more after-school hangouts or staying with them in breaks.
It led you to feel like a horrible friend at some point when you missed out on being there for them due to the fear of getting hurt again for having friends.
Finding barely any strength left in you, your voice is paper-thin, quiet and frail when it brushes past Mahito’s ears like a final prayer.
“I don’t sleep with any of them…”
He snorts, then breaks into a full laugh and repeats your words as he drops your frame to laugh with Naoya who obviously follows.
Once again, your bruised knees kiss the floor as you unceremoniously fall and wince.
Mahito lunges forward, not to save you but so cruelly push you against the floor even further—forcing your body to fall forward with the push of your back.
Your chin nearly slams against the floor from the sheer force, head barely turning the last second as you whimper again.
Salty years leak onto the floor you go limp against—still conscious but drifting somewhere far away.
They’re about to throw another round of depicting, disgusting words at you when you hear a loud crack! echo through the empty hall.
“Man, what the fuck!?” Mahito’s voice booms through the corridor, the pain and surprise laced into his tone reverberating into your pulsing skull.
You hear his deep groan cut off as he looks up to find Gojo and Geto looking down at him. Blood drips down onto his lips, coating them in the red, metalic liquid.
He scoffs, in disbelief. “Really? You’re going to protect that slut?” Geto has a go at shutting him up this time, kicking his leg and making him stumble onto the floor.
Mahito lands a few meters away from you, his blood dripping onto the floor as he winces from the pain he’s now experiencing—like a mirror of yours.
You silently watch the way he tries to scramble away as Suguru draws closer and Satoru’s steps fade out of earshot when he moves away.
Hearing a faint; “Hey, I didn’t do anything.”, you know where the white-haired boy is going. Naoya isn’t going to be easily let off the hook.
You’re brought back to Mahito and Geto when you hear him continue to run his mouth.
“Damn, you must be something filthy for both of them to defend your who—“
Geto lands a blow across his face, making him choke on blood and busting his lip open.
Suguru’s eyes are coated with a layer of darkness you’ve never seen before. It momentarily disappears when he turns to you.
Voice gruff, rough, when he asks. “How long has this been going on?”
You don’t mean to fall quiet, scrambling for what might’ve actually set all of this off—or when Mahito came into the equation.
But nothing comes to mind.
Everything has just kind of been there in a subtle, invisible way that makes it feel like it doesn’t exist till one day it’s piled up so much you can’t breathe.
There were times they’d talk crap about you to new people so they’d stay away.
Or tell teachers lies about you making out with boys in the bathrooms.
Cut up your uniform if they got possession of it.
Push you in halls—ranging from harsh shoulder bumps to tripping you.
The list could unfortunately go on.
And you remain quiet.
That speaks so much more than any words could.
In the background, Naoya is already taken care of. Gone, having ran away after getting punched in the stomach.
Pussy, thinks Gojo, lips pressed into a thin line.
He joins Suguru, figures steaming with anger—fists ready to jump and spill blood if he dares to say anything else.
Satoru’s eyes flicker to you, the way you’re curled up on the floor. Eyes rimmed red, faintly shaking, muscles spasming, unmoving.
Immediately, he snaps out of it after seeing your condition—elbowing Suguru and crouching next to you.
He comes within your line of sight, face drawn tight with concern—eyes flickering over every surface of your body in search for injuries till he sees the purple blooming bruises on your knees.
“Shit.”
With the utmost care in the world, Satoru hooks a hand behind your back and one beneath your knees—hands hesitant when he lifts you gently and sends Suguru a worried look.
You’re drifting away in his arms, eyes slowly blinking, face pale. You’re in so much pain it makes their brains crash.
Gojo takes you away without saying a single word, knowing Geto can finish the job.
And that he does.
“I don’t know who you think you are.” He bores, looking down at Mahito trying to crawl his way out of his line of attack with his numb legs.
Suguru takes a step forward when he sees him getting too far, crushing his foot with the heel of his foot.
“You are nobody.” He spits, voice void of any other emotion but coldness.
Mahito freezes, arms burning from trying to escape and chest bubbling with fear. He loudly growls at the pain coming from his foot underneath Suguru’s weight before he pulls away and strides till he’s by his face.
“I dare you to lay a single finger on Y/N ever again.” He crouches, deep onyx piercing through Mahito’s lifeless gray eyes.
“If you do, I’ll make sure there’s nothing left of you anymore.” Suguru straights back up, disgusted by the man beneath him.
“I’ll make you a real scarface.” He kicks him to unconsciousness.
And neither of those two ever appear in front of you ever again.
A/n; first smau how we feeling 😪😪 I might remake this as this is mainly a test to see if the images are good quality | please request stuff if u like my texting style guys im bored :P
⋆˚꩜｡ 𝐅𝐖𝐔 why keep crawling back to satoru who only wants you bent over and gone when suguru will stay inside you and still be there in the morning?
angst. revenge. rebound sex. jealousy. possessiveness. toxic reclaiming. overstimulation. rough sex. suguru doesn’t stop even when you came .ೃ࿔
authors note ꒰ა this is a continutation of my fratgojo | gojo art by @/thatsallitchief suguru art by @/atsulier
it keeps happening just often enough, that you find yourself listening for the sound of his voice drifting down the hallway.
and that easy hey, which always ends with you pressed against a wall or bent over whatever surface is closest, while his fingers tangle in your hair as he takes exactly what he wants then walks away before your breath has even steadied.
sometimes a day later a blunt text arrives with nothing but a place and a time and you show up anyway telling yourself the repetition must mean something.
until the afternoon you cross the quad and see him with his arm settled around a tall dark haired girl who is laughing at whatever he just said leaning into him like she belongs there while he never once looks your way.
that night you lie awake staring at the ceiling hating how badly you still crave the next time he’ll use you while the weeks smear together into a string of hookups that finish with him pulling out and leaving without a word, and those campus glimpses that land just casually enough to feel intentional.
until you finally stop sending the first message and he either fails to notice or notices and simply doesn’t care leaving you exhausted from chasing after scraps.
you’re currently at shoko’s apartment that carries the thick scent of cigarette smoke mixed with instant coffee while you sit curled on her couch with your knees drawn tight to your chest and your voice breaks in that raw ugly way it only does after you’ve kept something locked inside for far too long.
“he just leaves. every time. and then i see him with someone else like i’m nothing. like i was never-” you don’t finish because the words stick in your throat while shoko stays quiet with her cigarette burning down between her fingers and you’re right in the middle of admitting how pathetic it is that you still get wet for someone who treats you like a convenient hole.
when the front door opens and suguru steps in pausing in the entryway as he takes in the whole scene until something in his expression goes still he doesn’t interrupt just leans against the wall and listens while you keep talking, because stopping feels worse spilling out the anger the humiliation and that leftover want that makes you sick.
and when you finally run out of words, the silence hangs thick until suguru’s voice comes calm and even “he’s always been like that” and you look at him noticing the way he watches you, the same way he watches everything quiet assessing a little too sharp underneath then he says “i can help you stop waiting”
and it isn’t a question at all so you stare at him for a second before managing “help how exactly” and he pushes off the wall taking a slow step closer “by giving you something that doesn’t leave you empty afterward something that actually stays” shoko exhales a thin stream of smoke glancing between the two of you and mutters “this is either the worst idea or the best one you’ve had in months”
but suguru doesn’t look away from you “you’re tired of crumbs right” and you nod almost against your will so he continues “then stop collecting them i’m offering a whole different kind of meal one that doesn’t vanish the second he gets what he wants” your voice comes quieter now “and what do you get out of it” he almost smiles “the chance to watch you stop looking at him like he matters more than you do.”
and just like that that’s how you ended up in his room with your legs already spreading for him on the bed, while suguru takes his time refusing to rush a single second of it as he undresses you piece by piece like every button and zipper is something he’s deliberately claiming, his mouth finding the side of your throat and staying there long enough to leave a slow heat under your skin, his hands steady and unhurried as they map the places.
satoru used to grab and discard without thought and when he finally pushes inside it’s deep and controlled the stretch of him filling you in a way that forces your breath out in a long shaky sound his hips rolling instead of snapping giving you the full length of every slow thrust, so you feel him everywhere at once.
he watches your face the entire time never looking away one hand staying on your jaw his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth every time a gasp slips free and he asks “does he ever look at you when he fucks you”
you manage to answer between breaths “he never looks he just finishes and leaves” and suguru’s eyes darken as he thrusts deeper “tell me how different this feels” and you choke out “it feels like you’re actually here , not just using me” and he hums in approval still moving inside you
“good, because i am here and i’m not going anywhere” after, he holds you down when you try to turn your face away, while his other hand slides between your bodies to work you open even wider.
until the pressure builds so heavy you come, first clenching around him with a broken sound that makes his breath catch and he keeps talking through it.
“that’s it come for me” and he follows a minute later forehead pressed hard to yours hips stuttering as he finishes inside you, breath uneven and raw murmuring “see how much better it is when someone stays after?”
which he doesn’t pull away or leave the way you’re used to instead he stays buried deep until he softens then eases out carefully, and reaches for a damp cloth wiping between your legs with a gentleness that feels almost more intimate than the sex itself before.
he flips you onto your stomach and pulls your hips up guiding himself back into you from behind slower this time, deeper his chest pressed to your back as he whispers into your ear.
“he never stays does he? never holds you after, never bothers to learn what makes you shake like this” you gasp out his hand sliding around to rub circles over your clit while he fucks into you with long rolling thrusts, that force soft broken noises out of your throat, and when your arms start to give out.
he gathers you up onto your side spooning you close one leg hooked over his so he can keep rocking into you from behind, while his mouth stays at your neck.
you come again around him shaking hard enough that he has to hold you tighter through it, his own release following.
soon after as he buries himself as deep as he can get and stays there panting against your shoulder, he turns you to face him brushing damp hair from your forehead.
you sleep there tangled in his sheets waking in the morning to find him already up making coffee in the kitchen like nothing major shifted even though everything between you clearly has.
six days later satoru finds out.
you’re still not sure who let it slip.
whether shoko cut sharp with the truth, or whether suguru simply wanted him to know, wanted the information to see if it kills him.
either way, the result is the same,
he turns up at your door looking like sleep has been a stranger for days. his hair a chaotic mess, jaw locked so tight the muscle jumps, he doesn’t wait for you to invite him in.
the second the door opens he steps forward, forcing you to take a half step back just to keep from colliding with his chest.
“you let him fuck you?” you fold your arms across your chest, feeling the defensive line form without conscious thought.
“you keep leaving me with cum running down my leg.” you throw back, voice steadier than you feel, “
so don’t stand here and act like i was ever exclusive.”
his laugh comes out short and bitter, it doesn’t sound like him “that’s not the same.”
“isn’t it?” you tilt your head, refusing to look away. “you used me whenever it was convenient and walked out before i could even catch my breath. you never stayed. you never asked. you never once made it feel like i was anything more than a body that happened to be available. so tell me again how it’s different.”
he steps closer, you refuse to give ground. your back is almost to the wall now, but you hold the line, chin up, arms still crossed.
he reaches for you, hand lifting toward your face or your waist, you’re not sure which, and you slap it away hard enough that the sound cracks through room.
his fingers curl into a fist at his side. something flashing through his eyes. anger. jealousy. hurt, maybe, though he’d never name it that.
the first real feeling he’s handed you in weeks, and it’s ugly.
“you’re mine.” he says, “you’ve been mine since the very first time. every late-night text you answered. don’t stand there and pretend it didn’t mean anything.”
“it meant something to me.” you fire back, heat rising in your chest.
“that’s the problem. it never meant the same thing to you. you got what you wanted and left. over and over. and then i had to watch you walk around campus with your arm around someone else like i was never even there. so spare me the sudden possessiveness, satoru. you don’t get to claim me now just because someone else touched what you threw away.”
his breathing has gone uneven, he looks at you like he’s seeing the damage for the first time, the way you hold yourself, the refusal in your posture, the fact that you’re not melting the way you used to.
“suguru doesn’t get to have you,” he says, “he doesn’t get to step in and play savior because i fucked up. you’re not his to fix.”
“i’m not yours to break either.”
the words land. you see them hit. his throat works.
the anger surges back, desperate and possessive.
he moves again, crowding you against the wall, one hand braced beside your head, the other hovering near your waist like he’s fighting the urge to grab.
his voice drops into that low, register that used to make your stomach flip.
“i can fix it,” he says. “let me fix it. i’ll stay. i’ll- fuck, i’ll do it right this time. just don’t… don’t let him be the one who gets to keep you.”
you don’t kiss him back when he leans in, you turn your face away at the last second, his mouth brushing the corner of yours instead of landing, his breath stutters against your cheek.
“get out,” you say, he freezes, the hand beside your head curls into a fist against the wall.
for a long moment neither of you moves. you can hear his breathing, rough and uneven. you can feel the tension coiling through his body, the war between dragging you closer and respecting the line you just drew. “h-haaa.. fuck..”
“get out, satoru.” something fractures behind his eyes, he pushes off the wall, steps back, and the sudden space between you feels colder than it should.
he looks at you one last time then he turns and walks out.
the door clicks shut behind him harder than necessary.
you stay where you are, back against the wall, arms still folded tight across your chest.
your hands are shaking. your pulse is a frantic drum in your throat. outside, the hallway stays silent.
and for the first time in a long time the waiting feels like it’s finally over whether he accepts that or not.
The Moon Looks Beautiful Tonight. @love-me-satoru - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
