lost in translation @lovewillnotenslaveyou - Tumblr Blog

Lost. I feel lost. Like my life is just circling around me and I don't know where to go. I don't know if I stay at home with Isaac or get a job. Do I keep working in the nursery? How do I keep helping my parents? And most of all how the hell do I parent? Isaac is giving terrible twos new meaning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if I even am doing something obviously wrong. But it feels like I'm failing. He's only two. And he's a terror. I always said my kids would behave. I always said I'd know what to do with a stubborn child. But I don't. I don't have a clue anymore. I've tried everything I know, things I've been told and what I've read. It feels like I'm barely surviving. I'm constantly tired and anxious. So here I am. Trying to figure life out. Coming back here. Because somehow I managed to figure some things out through this website. So I downloaded the app and reset my forgotten password. I don't know how often I'll be on here. Or if I'll even talk to people on here. I've said I'd post again before. But now if nothing else, this is somewhere to post my thoughts again. So here I am. Running back to God and tumblr all in one. I hope you guys are well. I hope life is treating you amazingly. Even though things are tough for me I know I'm lucky. I wouldn't trade this life for anything.

#except sometimes I'd like to run away for a few hours and have wine/margaritas #and the whole time worry about my baby #me in a nutshell

Maybe when God isn't parting the waters we need to go through He's calling us to walk on the water.

I need Jesus.

I haven't been on here in ages but I thought what better place to post about Jesus? I need Jesus. I need Jesus more than I did 5 years ago. I need Him more than I ever have. Each new day brings a new challenge. My patience is stretched every day. Being a mother to a two year old is tough. Being a wife is tough. Finding the balance between being a wife, mother and just being my own person. It's so easy to get lost in the every day stuff. The fits Isaac throws every single day wear me out. There's this little human that is becoming his own person and he doesn't want to do something just because I say so. I've been sick all winter. If it's not one thing is another. To top it all off, last night my husband was in a wreck and his car was totaled. He's in pain, too. No serious injuries thank God! But we already know all too well how crappy dealing with the aftermath of a wreck can be. So here I am. I need Jesus. I need His peace. I need His guidance. I am broken in ways I didn't know I could be. Being a stay at home mom and wife are the hardest things I've ever done. Every day I die to self a little more. I'm being drawn back into the heart of things. It doesn't matter what car we drive (or don't drive). It only matters how we make a difference for good. I want to live a life worth remembering. The only way to do that seems to be drawing closer to Jesus in my every day. When I'm at my end with my two year old I need Jesus. My son needs to see Jesus in me. He doesn't need to see the brokenness I still carry around. He needs to see beauty shining out of my broken places. Being broken can be beautiful and that's what I'm learning. So today I'll lean on Jesus. I'll call out to Him to calm the waters of my life. I need Jesus in the realist way. I don't need a Him in some religious mumbo jumbo way. I need Jesus because He's the only thing that's ever calmed my soul. I'm running to my Savior. Maybe, I'll start posting on here again. Maybe not. We'll just have to see. If I do I'll probably change the URL.

So obviously I haven't deleted... I just can't bear to delete something that once was so huge in my life. I'm going to be starting a "grown up" blog soon. (Read: when I have the time.) Life is crazy as a stay at home mom. I'm learning and growing in ways I never even imagined. I might begin blogging on here as well as a real blog. I'm not 100% sure. I hope everybody is doing well and I'd love to hear from you guys!

I got nostalgic and decided to come on here. I miss talking to people on here and all that. But I don't even know if anybody really still follows me? Or if those I got close to even post or get on here anymore... Anyways, being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done. But SO rewarding. Isaac is 15 months old now and into EVERYTHING. He's stubborn and thinks it's hilarious to be bad. so yeah. I hope everybody on here is doing well!

#do people still talk in their tags #how do I tumblr #I used to be good at this #but now in sleep deprived and busy chasing a toddler

boundlikeabook

Your tears do not make you less of a man, and your fists do not make you more of one. Be slow to anger. Love remains forever patient. Know that it’s impossible to live without regrets, but it is possible to live without making the same mistakes twice. So keep your heart teachable. The teachable man will always get the job before the personable one who claims to know it all already.

Max Dubinsky, A Letter To My Future Son (via yesdarlingido)

#hi I'm still here

Why???

Why am I probably deleting? I rarely get on here and I don't interact with people often. I have another more mom/personal related that I'll post on more. I might just get back to posting about my faith on here since I'm trying to do that more. (I'm starting to work at my church so yeah.) Haven't really decided though.

Pretty sure I'm going to end up deleting this tumblr soon.

delta-breezes

peoplesbard

#love

Um do people not know that it’s dangerous to get a tattoo while breastfeeding? I mean, in most cases a tattoo isn’t going to hurt anything but if you get sepsis then that’s a big problem… But with a clean shop, sterile equipment and proper aftercare you’re probably okay. I guess I’m just not a risk taker. Like I’d love another tattoo but just like margaritas it’ll have to wait.

#i miss margaritas #it's been over a year #since may 2013 for both margaritas and tattoos