i had a dream and wrote a thing
These past three days had been the very best of Emilia's life. She didn't know she could have so much fun, especially with her dad, but she'd been proved wrong. Never in a million years did Emilia think that her dad would want to take a vacation with her. A vacation! She'd never thought she'd go anywhere outside Iceland and now she was in England. England!
Emilia didn't know what to think when her dad came into her tiny and damp basement bedroom a few days ago and said they were going on a trip. He'd told her not to pack anything and not to ask any questions, so Emilia silently followed behind him. She didn't have anything to pack, anyway.
When they arrived at the airport, her dad handed her a passport that she didn't even know she had. She remembered a few months ago her dad had come into her room and taken a picture of her against one of the white walls in their house. And now, looking at the passport, Emilia realized what that had been for.
Emilia didn't ask any questions and her dad didn't provide any information as they went through security and hurried through the airport to their gate. She'd never been on a plane before. She'd never left Iceland. Emilia was nervous, but she didn't say so. She just did what her dad told her to do and stayed silent.
Turns out, planes were fun! Emilia got to watch a movie and eat snacks, and she only got a little bit scared when the plane took off and landed. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but she bit her tongue. Her father would tell her sooner or later why he'd taken her to London. Until he filled her in, Emilia decided to try and enjoy herself.
There was something in the air in London that made her dad the nicest version of himself. He was joking with Emilia and taking her to see all the sights. He even let her use one of the pillows and blankets on the floor in their hotel room! She'd stayed quiet unless he was asking her something, though, because she didn't want to scare away his good mood. Her father was usually so mean to her, and she didn't want to give him a reason to be when they were having so much fun together.
On the last day of their trip, they woke up early and walked over to a big park. Her dad sat her down on a bench and told her that he needed to run an errand. She wanted to know why she couldn't go with him but didn't ask.
"Give me your passport," Her dad said, holding out his hand expectantly. Emilia had been holding on to it during the trip so she could look at it whenever she wanted to. She never felt like a real person, but looking at her passport made her feel like she was one, even only for the duration of this trip. "You're going to lose it if I leave it with you." She didn't want to tell him that she wouldn't lose it, because that would just upset him, so Emilia handed it over.
"Sit here and don't get up," Her dad went on. "Do you understand?" Emilia nodded. "Do not move until I get back." She nodded again. Her dad took his backpack off his shoulder and put it on the bench next to her. Then he patted his pockets to make sure he had his wallet, their passports, and anything else they might need, and then he left without another word. Emilia watched him walk away until he disappeared.
She didn't have a watch and didn't have a great concept of time, anyway, so Emilia didn't know how long her dad would be gone or how long had even passed. To pass the time, she watched the people around her. There were so many people running around the park, pushing strollers or talking on their phones as they walked. Emilia had never seen so many people in her life before this trip. Every few minutes she'd look back the way her dad had left, hoping she'd see him coming back.
Being alone had never bothered her… she preferred it, actually, because when she was alone no one was hurting her. But being alone in a foreign place was different. She didn't know anyone here and didn't know her way around. Emilia felt a little silly for being homesick especially because she hated home but… at least it was familiar.
She didn't start to worry that something was wrong until the sun began to dip low in the sky and the park started clearing out. Emilia's gaze was now fixed on the path her dad had taken when he walked away. She kept telling herself he would reappear any second now… but he never did. By now their plane home had surely taken off. Did… did her dad forget that he'd left her here? Had Emilia misunderstood what he'd said? Was she supposed to meet him at the airport?
To keep her mind from wandering, Emilia opened the backpack her dad had left with her. Inside there was a small blanket, a box of granola bars, a change of socks and underwear, a water bottle, a notebook and pen, and 20 euros. That was it. The socks and underwear weren't for a man, either… they were her size. This backpack hadn't been for her dad.
Emilia's dad never came back. That first night, she'd stayed awake all night on the same bench, crossing her fingers that he hadn't abandoned her here. Emilia knew her dad didn't like her… that he didn't want her… but would he take her to a foreign country and abandon her here? She couldn't accept that, so she sat on the bench and waited.
Emilia only got up from her spot when she had to. Every few hours she'd run over to one of the public restrooms and quickly use it. Then she'd refill her water bottle and run as fast as she could back to the bench. She didn't want to miss her father coming back for her, and she knew how mad he'd be if he got back and she wasn't there. For the rest of the day, she'd watch the people passing her and waited.
When the sun went down again, Emilia pulled out the blanket and wrapped it around herself. She dozed in and out of sleep all night. When the sun came back up again, she ate a granola bar, drank the rest of her water, and ran back to the bathrooms. This cycle repeated for another two days.
Emilia didn't know what to do. It was clear that her father wasn't coming back, but she didn't know what to do with that information. She didn't know what to do on her own. She'd never been taken care of exactly, but she'd never been on her own either. Where was she supposed to live? Where was she supposed to get food? What was she supposed to do? So, she stayed on the bench.
For the most part, no one looked at her. No one had said a single word to her in days, and Emilia hadn't spoken in even longer. She felt invisible and like she was going to wither away to nothing right here on this bench.
"Hey," A man's voice said from behind her the morning of the… whatever day it was. Emilia turned around so quickly, her heart hammering in her chest. Her dad had come back for her! She hadn't been looking in the right direction and had missed him approaching! But when she looked up into the man's face, she found that it wasn't her dad. "Are you okay?" This guy asked, his brows drawn in with concern. Emilia glanced around, unsure if he was talking to her or not.
"I've seen you sitting here for days…" He went on. "I run here every morning and some evenings…" Emilia realized that she had seen this man before. He was one of the runners she'd been watching every morning. "Are you okay?" He asked again.
"My dad…" Emilia croaked, her voice horse from disuse. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm waiting for my dad…"
"Does he leave you here in the mornings and come back later or something?" The stranger asked. Emilia shook her head. The guy frowned and looked around. She figured he was about to say his goodbyes but, instead, he held out his hand. "I'm Jason…" She stared at his hand for a few long drawn-out moments before tentatively taking it.
"Emilia…" She murmured, giving his hand one quick shake before letting go and hugging her arms around herself again.
"Are you hungry, Emilia?" Jason asked. She shook her head even though she was starving. Emilia was trying to preserve her granola bars and had only taken a few bites at a time.
"My dad is coming back for me… he told me not to move." Emilia said, putting as much conviction into her tone as she could.
"Okay," Jason nodded. "Well… if I brought you a sandwich or something, would you eat it? Maybe some chips and a drink?" Emilia looked away from him, towards the path her dad had gone down, and then back at Jason. She nodded, dropping her gaze down quickly. She could still see him smiling from the corner of her eye. "Great… I'll be back, okay?" And then he left. Emilia figured she'd never see him again.
Not much time had passed before Emilia was being approached again. This time two men in police officers' uniforms were coming towards her with stern expressions on their faces. She shrank into herself, hoping they wouldn't see her. But when they stopped just a few feet in front of her, Emilia knew her shrinking hadn't worked.
"There's no loitering here…" One of the men said.
"I'm not…" She murmured, shaking her head. Emilia didn't know what loitering meant.
"You've been here for days…" The other man barked. "Come on, get going…" He reached down to grab her and Emilia jerked back. Her fear only made him angry and he grabbed her again. She didn't mean to resist, but she couldn't move! She had to stay here.
"Come on, girl," The first policeman said. "Get up… stop resisting!" They both had their hands on her now and Emilia thrashed against their hold.
"I can't… I have to stay here!" She begged.
"We're going to arrest you if you don't get out of here…" The second man shouted.
"Hey!" Someone in the distance yelled. "Hey, no! Wait a second!" Jason ran over with bags of food in his hand. "I just went to get us food, what are you doing?"
"She's been loitering… she's resisting arrest!" The police officer was angry but clearly less so now that he was speaking to Jason.
"Why is she under arrest?" Jason asked, shaking her head. "She's just waiting for me to get back… right, Emilia?" At the sound of her name, Emilia looked at him.
"Yes…" She replied, nodding her head.
"See… we're together… she's fine…" Jason said to the officers, smiling at him to try and defuse the situation. The two other men let go of Emilia's arms and she dropped back down into the seat she'd been sitting in for days. Jason sat next to her, still smiling at the policemen. "Have a nice day…" He said to them, raising his brows as if to ask 'why are you still here?'. They lingered for another few seconds before walking away.
"You don't have anywhere else to go?" Jason asked her once he'd pulled out the sandwiches and handed one to her.
"No…" She mumbled, taking a small bite of her sandwich. "I'm not from here…" Jason grinned and chuckled slightly and Emilia looked at him again.
"Oh, sorry, I could just tell you're not because of your accent… where are you from?"
"Húsavík… Iceland…" Emilia said. Jason let out a low whistle and she frowned. She was a long way from home, he didn't need to tell her.
"Look… let me walk you to a shelter or something?" Jason suggested after a few minutes of silently eating their sandwiches. When Emilia started shaking her head, he went on. "I don't think your dad is coming back Emilia… and if something happened to him… well, no one will know to come here."
"I don't have any money…" Emilia said. She didn't know what a shelter was or how much it cost to stay in one. But the 20 euros she had was surely not enough.
"It doesn't cost any money to stay in one…" Jason promised. "My best friend's mom runs a really nice one not too far from here… we can go there… and I'll come check on you tomorrow, if you want?" Emilia glanced at him again, curious to know what his motive was, but Jason looked genuine. He was smiling kindly at her and she couldn't see any trace of deceit behind his eyes. She decided to trust him because what other choice did she have?
They finished their sandwiches and chips on the bench. Jason asked her questions to try and help her figure out her situation, but Emilia didn't have many answers. He seemed surprised when she said she didn't have a passport or any type of identification, but then he'd just shrugged and said they would figure it out. Strangely enough, Emilia believed him. And when it was time to leave, she got up willingly and followed him out of the park.
The women's shelter he took her to wasn't far and was indeed very nice. Jason helped her check herself in and made small talk with the woman behind the counter. When another lady came out to greet her, Emilia was hesitant to leave Jason's side.
"No men are allowed back there," Jason explained. "But you're in good hands with, Mandy… and I'll come see you tomorrow, okay?" Emilia looked between him and this Mandy woman. "I promise." Jason added when she still didn't move.
"Come on, honey," Mandy smiled warmly. "Let's get you a shower and a fresh change of clothes, okay?"
"See you later, Emilia…" Jason took a few steps backward towards the door. He waved his hand and smiled. Emilia waved back, but couldn't bring herself to return the smile. Turning back to Mandy… she took the woman's offered arm and let herself be led back into the shelter, hoping she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life by coming here.