Grian: Hello? Is this thing on? [SIGH] I have no clue how this thing works, it should really come with an instruction booklet. [PAUSE]
Oh, maybe this is the button to start recording-
Grian: Turns out I had it right the first time, but I've finally figured it out now, with very little struggle and no outside help because I'm a professional.
Alright, uh- hello, my name is Grian. I was given this cool little pocket sized recorder as a Secret Santa gift this year. Though I don't actually know who gave it to me, there was no note and nobody has mentioned it, but it's not the first time that's happened. [YAWN]
Either way, people always talk about how journaling your feelings helps, so I guess that's what this will be because I can't be bothered to actually write.
Well, I don't actually have anything to say right now and it's rather late. I think I'm just gonna go to sleep. Who knows, maybe I'll forget about this thing and find it a year from now in a chest, laugh about it with Mumbo or Scar.Uh- bye, I guess? Is that how you end one of these things?
Grian: [LAUGHING] ahh, I love it when I'm right. I absolutely forgot about this thing, it's been, [HUM] about a month or so since that last log. Not a year, but still, I was right. Uh, I still just don’t really know what to say during these logs.
The season is coming to an end. It’s been fun. I like my base, and everyone else’s bases look really good too. Joel and Skizz have really made a great impression for their first season being a part of Hermitcraft. Not that anyone had any doubts, of course, we all already knew they’d be a great addition.I’m excited for the next season, truly. I’ve got a few plans drawn out. Nothing final yet, of course, just little inspiration sketches. But this time it just.. it feels different this time around. I feel tired, I guess. [SIGH]
This is weird. I’m just talking to a little box, how would this ever help. Whatever, I have things to do, meant to go play a few minigames with everyone.
Grian: [QUIETLY] The server is closing tomorrow. All the Hermits are packing any valuables up and heading to spawn, to go to the new server, but I- [SHAKY BREATH] I’m not ready. I’m not ready to go be excited and happy, to mess around with everyone and- [SNIFF]
Voids, what is wrong with me? I’ve done this four times now, and it’s never felt this hard. [SIGH] I’m so tired.. I keep having these horrible dreams- memories. Not even just in my sleep, I just close my eyes and I see them, all these terrible memories flashing by. I thought I had moved past this, I thought I was okay now.
I don’t think I can keep going like this, I think I need to get away for a while. Take a break. But I don’t.. I don’t want to worry anyone, I can’t tell anyone, I can’t- [RUSTLING] I just need to leave.If I come back- no. No. When I come back, I’ll explain everything to them. But right now I just need-
Grian: I’ve done it. I made a single player world and spawned myself into it.. [DEEP INHALE] It’s quiet here.The spawn is alright, an open planes field with tall grass and some animals scattered around. I can see a spruce forest in the distance though, one with those really big and tall trees. [HUM] Maybe I could make a treehouse or something. Not like I would need to build stairs or anything, there’s nobody here but me, and I have wings..
That’s an odd thought. Not having to build something with my friends in mind. I don’t need any guest rooms or stairs or a shower… [SHAKY EXHALE] But that’s okay. This will be good for me, and once I’m okay I can go back..yeah. [SIGH]
Grian: This has turned into more of a diary than me journaling. I guess I just don’t really know how to talk about my feelings, not really at least. Where would I even begin? There’s so much that’s happened, so much bad so much good. It all started back with Evo I suppose, everything before it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. [DOOR CLOSES] [SIGH] I mean.. Evo wasn’t that bad..
It was fun, at least at first it was. But things started.. happening. I should have ended the server as soon as weird things started happening, as soon as I started losing control over the commands and coding of the server. Even when it was small, I should have pulled the plug immediately. But I was so- so stupid. I thought it would be fine, I wasn’t scared of whatever was doing it. I should have. [ANGRILY] I could have stopped it, I could have prevented anything from happening! [SOUND OF HITTING WOOD] [SNIFF] I could have saved everyone.. none of that stuff had to happen…
[SIGH] Voids, I can’t- I can’t do this. I can’t talk about it-
Grian: So I’ve made a little shack. It’s kinda cute, very cottage core. Even has a dirt roof that I’ve planted flowers in. [CHUCKE] It’s definitely not permanent, too small for any real storage other than one double chest, but it’ll work until I have something more permanent.
[FOOTSTEPS] [DISTORTED MOO]
I found a river a bit further into the forest, so I started a small wheat farm near it. And I’ve created a small fenced in area for some animals. I don’t know if the recorder is picking up the sound but the cows are very chatty. Maybe I’ll make a nice barn to keep the animals in, that could be nice. I’ll have to cut down a lot of trees to make room for it though, because there’s no way I’m flying back and forth from my base to the barn just so I can put it in the open plains.
So far things are going well though. I’m a bit lonely, but that’s to be expected since I am alone, I might try to find a village so I can have a cat. But that is definitely an adventure for another day. [SIGH]
[QUIETLY] This is good for me.
I checked my comm today.. turned it on just to see if anyone noticed I was gone- of course they did. There's so many worried messages.. [Sniff] I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I need this, I know that, but at what cost? Worrying everyone who cares about me? Everyone who's been there for me for years now?
[SHAKY SIGH] I couldn't bring myself to read most of them, it hurts too much.. but I read some of Scar's. How can he be so worried yet still so- so- him. He's so Scar. Just- listen to this one.
[BAD SCAR IMPRESSION] Hey, G. Everyone is still pretty antsy about you disappearing on us. They miss you, even me dying a bunch of times at the start of the season didn't even get that many laughs!
Because what?? What is that? Is that him being concerned? Because I know he's better at it than that. Is he trying to cheer me up or something? [SIGH] I guess he did kinda succeed at that, I did laugh because it caught me off guard.
I think it's best I don't check my comm again until I'm ready to go back.. It should be left off, stuffed in the bottom of a chest or something. Reading any of the messages will just make things harder.
[DEEP BREATH] Yeah.. yeah, okay. It'll be better this way.
and that's all i wrote lol
