Day 1
So howād I do?
No pop? Check
Drink water? Check
Fitbit? FOUND
Logged food? Check (even the stuff I didnāt want to admit!)
Todayās goal: drink 64z of water, get 3,000 steps, log food, no pop
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@mallorygetshealthy
Day 1
So howād I do?
No pop? Check
Drink water? Check
Fitbit? FOUND
Logged food? Check (even the stuff I didnāt want to admit!)
Todayās goal: drink 64z of water, get 3,000 steps, log food, no pop
Weigh In
Biggest Loser competition starts today at work and we had our initial weigh in. While Iām not at the big, scary ROUND number Iām not at a good place. But itās a start!
Starting Weight: 391.8
Todayās goals: No pop, drink 64z of water, find fitbit, track food
Better Choices in 2017
Long time no write.
So 2016 was kind of the worst, right?
What I like to do, instead of resolutions, is to have themes for the year. One year it wasĀ ābe nice to myselfā another wasĀ ātry new thingsā...this year isĀ āmake better choicesā.
One of my better choices is to delete Twitter from my phone.
Another is that I went and took a walk around my workās walking track today.
Tonight, Iām going to try to not drink any pop.
Slow and steady wins the race.Ā
yo does anyone else feel CONSTANTLY guilty? like youāve always done something wrong but you donāt know what it is?
Every. Single. Day.
15 Awards Everyone Who Struggles With Body Image Deserves
Body Positivity Week is a week of content devoted to exploring and celebrating our complicated relationships with our bodies.
love these!
Day 4
Itās now day 4. Ate my standard egg bake and some nuts. Feeling not as hopeless as I did yesterday. But letās talk about my future with Whole30.
Itās been too much of an adjustment too fast. Iāve struggled through excuses the last few days and have decided that Iām not mentally prepared for this. I am in awe of people who are able to get through it.
So right now, my plan is to get through tomorrow on plan and then re-evaluate.Ā
Does this mean on Saturday Iām going to eat nothing but taco bell and ice cream? No. No it does not.
It DOES mean, Iām probably going to go ahead and ease some food back in so I have options that donāt involve 3 hours of prep on Sundays.Ā
It means Iām going to keep drinking water and not get back into pop.
It means choosing to get broccoli or fruit instead of fries when I go out to eat.
It means, if I want a handful of cheez-its or something, Iām not going to beat myself up for it and Iām not going to eat an entire box either.
It means if we do end up driving through somewhere, I get one or two things - not five.Ā
It means, if I get hungry later, I reach for veggies or a hard-boiled egg instead of a microwave burrito
It means I get whole grain pasta and measure out portions. That I get better bread options than white bread.Ā
It means I keep bringing my lunch to work. And incorporate more veggies.Ā
It means I keep trying new things to find new, fun options.
It means I donāt let my happiness depend on food.
Itās only been four days...but I see a lot of areas I need to work on. That I need to remember that food is fuel, not entertainment. Maybe when I get through tomorrow, Iāll decide to keep going. Maybe this ends up being me re-evaluating everyday and deciding to keep trying. But Iām not going to put this pressure on myself to stick to this program when it had me crying at my desk. Thatās not good for me either.Ā
Self love. Self care.Ā
And Iām going to keep up on this blog. Because showing a struggle is just as important as showing success.
Day 3
Things are about to get real up in here.
This process has been a struggle for me. Way harder than I thought. I think Iāve picked a far too intense program to try to start eating better. Though at the same time, I think that intense is what I need.
Yesterday, day 3, sucked. A lot. There was a lot of crying.
I felt overwhelmed and stressed and I am SO SICK of cooking. Iām SO SICK of meat. Then I was feeling like people would be mad and disappointed at me if I quit. Basically I was fighting a war with myself.
Also, I have this need to be perfect. I expect a lot out of myself. More than any reasonable person could accomplish. And this program is based around eating perfectly for 30 days and itās not a healthy thing for my mindset.Ā
However, I didnāt give up.
Breakfast: Egg bake and some coconut oil
Lunch: Chicken, steamed veggies and coconut oil
Dinner: Cod, 2 potatoes & coconut oil
After some pep talks from my husband and my friends @jessydoesafitness and @tedbigsby (heās 15 days in and a real inspiration!) I feel better.
Though there may be some changes...see my post for Day 4
Eating healthy. (by Scribble Out)
Day 2.5
FUCK Day 2. Just fuck it right up itās stupid ass.
I go shopping because the husband needs some food. Iām already down in the dumps and regretting this whole process and then Iām at the grocery store just being inundated with food options that I canāt have. Cheez-its, cookies, cheese, bread. Worst of all, I have to buyĀ some of these things. Bread for husbandās lunches, goldfish crackers so he has snacks. I manage to NOT buy any junk for me (I did pick up the stuff for making my own mayo though). I drive home. Tired, pissed and hating this whole thing. I get into the apartment and the oven clock is blinking.
Because the power went out.
Including the power to the crock pot where the meatballs were being made.
The meatballs that I painstakingly made by hand and got really excited about. The meatballs that made my hands smell like onion and garlic for a full day. RUINED.
Iām not too proud to say I cried for a bit. I was tired, I was frustrated and I just wanted to be done. I texted my husband and told him what happened. Then told him this was it, I was done. He texted back withĀ āNo, weāll figure something outā. So I took a deep breath, cut up 4 chicken breasts and put them on the stove to cook. Then went and laid in bed for 15 minutes to wallow.
I didnāt give in. I didnāt surrender. I still donāt know if I can do this for the 30 days.Ā
Dinner yesterday: Chicken breast, sliced tomatoes, baked potato w/coconut oil, salsa and some lettuce.
Day 2
So far so good.
Yesterday was rougher than I pictured. After a talk with @jessydoesafitness I think part of the depression I was feeling was because my lunch was pretty sad. Cold veggies are no fun, you guys. I didnāt give in and get taco bell or eat goldfish or anything like that. So, thatās what I call a win!
I will say, itās helped illustrate the power that food has over me.
Today I have some meals Iām looking forward to!
Breakfast - Egg bake, salsa and 1/2 an avocado. Turns out, the texture of avocado is pretty BLERGH but I can power through.
Lunch - Leftover chicken, leftover veggies (warmed up this time) and the other 1/2 of the avocado
Dinner - Crock pot meatballs and tomato sauce, MOAR VEGGIES and probably some clarified butters to top them with
Other than a sudden, intense urge for some cheez-its yesterday Iām doing ok on cravings. I will say when my husband cracked open a can of pop yesterday, the sound made me want a coke for about ten seconds.
I did have some gastrointestinal distress yesterday but today is going better. I think it may have been the cashews I ate.
Day 1
So Iāve started it.
Meal 1 - Egg bake (eggs, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms) and some olives.
Meal 2 - Leftover steak and asparagus, kale & mushrooms plus some cashews.
Meal 3 - planning on doing some chicken and saute-ing some veggies. Will be doing a 1/2 avocado for the fat.
How Iām feeling.Ā
I was doing fine this morning, a bit excited even. Now though, eating these cold leftover veggies (that arenāt great) Iām kind of depressed and regretting it. I donāt do well with restrictions. And all I want to do is rebel.Ā
God, Iām not even done with day one. This does not bode well.
The Plan
A few more days and then Iām going gun ho! Iāve been talking to my pal, @jessydoesafitnessā and she suggested that I get a meal plan figured out so Iām not floundering out of the gate.Ā
She is brilliant.
I opened up my evernote and started with Monday...and guys, itās a good thing I did because I was already stumped! Itās hard to remember that itās not JUST dinners. Itās all day. Hereās what I came up with though...
MONDAY Breakfast - Egg bake, handful of olives
Lunch - leftover steak, leftover veggies, 1/2 avocado
Dinner - Crockpot meatballs & sauce. Roasted mushroom, kale and asparagus TUESDAY Breakfast - Egg bake, handful of olives
Lunch - Leftover meatballs, veggies, handful of nuts
Dinner - Chicken breast, frozen veggies sauted in coconut oil and 1/2 avocado WEDNESDAY Breakfast - Egg bake, handful of olives
Lunch - Chicken, steam in a bag veggies, nuts
Dinner - crock pot chuck roast, veggies, nuts THURSDAY Breakfast - Egg bake, handful of olives
Lunch - Leftover roast, veggies, nuts
Dinner - Lettuce wrapped hamburgers, Ā diced potatoes with clarified butter FRIDAY Breakfast - Egg bake, handful of olives
Lunch - Leftovers
Dinner - Taco meat, peppers, lettuce, taco sauce, salsa, olives (taco salad)
I should probably vary it up a bit but I like the simplicity of cooking a big dinner and having leftovers for the next day.Ā
Real talk: I hate getting up in the morning. I put it off until basically the last second so I think the egg bake is going to be a lifesaver until I work at getting up a bit earlier.
Iām planning on figuring out weekend food in the next few days!
Dread
I havenāt even started the program yet and Iām already regretting it. One of the things I HATE about trying to turn things around is how much I overthink everything. Already Iām tired of thinking about food and what I can eat and what I canāt eat, etc etc etc.
I know that the Whole30 program is supposed to help with this. Food is such an emotional thing for me that the idea of trying to live without my favorite things seems unmanageable. I obviously have an addiction to a certain degree. But Iām so scared to try.Ā
Itās clear Iām coming up with excuses too. One of the thoughts I had wasĀ āwell, i donāt know how to store real foodā andĀ āwell, I never eat food I freezeā...as if I LITERALLY donāt stop at the grocery store everyday anyway for our meals now. Itās the same exact thing. I need to suck it up and do this.Ā
Any motivation and encouragement will be welcome about now.
The beginning
Iāve struggled with my weight my entire life. For as long as I can remember, Iāve been ashamed and hated the way I look. Iāve been steadily getting bigger and bigger. I got weighed a few weeks ago before I dropped out of the weight loss competition at work. I weighed 379lbs at that point. I can only assume I weight the same, if not more now.
The impetus for this journey is my mom. Over the last year she has gotten really sick. Due to complications from diabetes, sheās gone through a gamut of health issues. Including the fact that her kidneys are functioning at 14%. Sheās been in and out of the hospital. Her heart is failing. She has no energy. Sheās on dialysis.Ā
At the beginning of the year, my family had to hear that there was nothing the doctor could do for her heart. That if she didnāt turn her diet around, she didnāt have long.
My mom is in her 50s.Ā
It was a wake up call for her and for me. I know that is my future if something doesnāt change and change immediately. But I didnāt know where to start.Ā
Itās been weighing heavily on my mind for months. I try to eat a vegetable now and then but Iām still going to McDonalds. Iām still scarfing down pizza and ice cream. And I know Iām slowly killing myself by doing it.
Enter my friend @tedbigsby. He and his girlfriend recently started the Whole30 challenge. I did some research, bought the book and think it may just be the thing to help kickstart me. To kick my addiction to sugar and bread. To help heal myself.Ā
I plan to start Monday, May 9th. Give myself the week to plan, try some recipes, shop and get through Motherās Day before kicking in to gear.
Iām hoping to use this to document my progress, issues, feelings, etc. And to hold myself accountable.Ā
Wish me luck.