marley's diary

4n4 Diary, tw for 3d

[marley-doesnt-eat]

!INTRO!

TWS for this blog may include: 3d/4n4, sh, su1c1de. Other things may also come up, so just dni if you don't wanna see those things.

My name is Marley and this is a fresh new blog but I've been on 4n4 tumblr for about 5 years on and of. Been recovered for a bit over a year I think but it's time for me to get some control back in my life.

I'm 18 dni if ur under 13 pls and ty

[marley-doesnt-eat]

Time to lock in and get ur skeleton body for fall

[marley-doesnt-eat]

This was me before being forced into hospital a bit over a year ago:/ I've ga1ned SOO much, I've never we1ght as much as I do now ever before.. I'm gonna we1gh myself when I get home tmmrw but I think I'm like 55kg or smt (157cm) my lw was 37.5 I think? I'm not totally sure.

My gw rn is just to get back to 40 which used to be my hw

[marley-doesnt-eat]

My rules to get back on track! My goal is to be on track by the 20th.

1. Take ur adhd meds every day even if you wake up late (suppresses hunger)

2. Don't eat regular dinner family makes, make ur own.

3. Spray perfume or spit in the plate of dinner you take.

4. Drink lots of water, especially before and after eating.

5. Count every cal0r1e you can.

6. Go on more walks.

7. Update blog every day, even if you binge.

8. Put plastic bags in your bag and put food or candy in it to throw away outside (where mom can't see)

9. If it's too hard to count the calories, eat something simpler.

10. Never spend money on food, if your tempted buy 0c4l drinks or n1c instead.

11. If someone is pressuring you to eat simply say no.

12. Never admit you have a problem to anyone.

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My plan is to eat as little as possible each day, I've been able to skip lunch and breakfast pretty easily as long as I keep busy my mom doesn't really notice. It is trickier with dinner but if I just hide my food I think I could pull it off, putting food in bags and throwing out later is something I haven't tried before. Since I've been h0spitalized for my 4n4 before I'm scared my friends and family will catch on fast but I just have to stick with it no matter what. Before I recovered last time I had sorta stopped counting c4ls so I think getting that habit back instead of only f4st1ng is good cuz then I can still eat in front of people and also have control. At the beginning of my 3d (which was about 5 years ago omfg..) I counted c4ls a lot and honestly you can eat a lot with only 500-1000 if you just eat the right things.