Mar

24 | lover of many things

[marofdawn]

Welcome!

This blog contains 18+ NSFW content - minors, please do not interact.

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[azranissu]

[marofdawn]

Btw i know not changed but i love giving deserved glaze

LOL thank you ❤️

[marofdawn]

I just read your rewrite of in another life and great heavens you’re so talented I never knew something so good can get any better I hope you keep writing more stories like this I love how reader had her story and character you’re writing style is amazing keep writing you’re so talented with it

Thank you, hun ❤️. Even though it wasn’t much of a rewrite, I appreciate you noticing the subtle differences.

[vialesanaaa]

[marofdawn]

HI MAR!! SO GLAD TO SEE U BACK

im glad you decided to bring IAL back. i genuinely cannot stress how talented u are just from reading 1 fic of yours! i hope u find your spark again. im just a stranger on the internet but im always rooting for u!! CONGRATS ON GETTING INTO GRAD SCHOOLL YAHOOOO

Hi, thank you so much :). Lowkey think that seasonal depression got to me (this winter was BRUTAL), but the weather has gotten nicer, thankfully. I went into complete isolation because I was just so sad about a lot of things, but it’s time to stop wallowing in self pity 😭. I should go for a nice nature walk soon.

AND TYSM!! I’m both excited and really nervous about grad school. Praying the imposter syndrome doesn’t hit me too hard lol.

I hope you’re well! Take care!

[marofdawn]

Hi Mar!! I hope that when you read this, you’re doing well 🫶🏻🫶🏻

We miss you! Sending all the love 🌻

Hii!! I know I just responded to your other ask, but I just wanted to thank you again for checking in! I honestly missed you guys a lot too and I still feel really bad about leaving so abruptly. It really means a lot to know you care. I hope you’re doing okay!

In good news, I got into grad school! I got 1 rejection (RIP), but got in everywhere else, so that boosted my self esteem a bit 🥲. Wasn’t too confident because of my grades, but I guess my resume was good and my interviews went well! Definitely in a much better mood than I was before (until I fall into the grad school stress in the fall… I’m already dreading it).

[marofdawn]

Hi dear, are you okay? Please don't disappear 🥹

Hii… I’m sorry if I caused you any distress. I think I’m in a better spot mentally, so I’m no longer hiding. Thank you for checking in.

[marofdawn]

So I take what i said back I just saw your post sorry girl😭 I’m so excited tho this is literally my fav story ever I’ve searched for replacement but nother compares so how peak it is I love it with my full heart and I love you for writing such a master piece🫶🏻

Hi, love. Just wanted to say thank you for this ask and I promise I wasn’t purposefully trying to ignore you. I just wasn’t ready to come back. The story is up now. I really hope you were able to get a copy because I just saw the other ask where you asked for one 😅 sorry about that. Regardless, it’s up now! Sorry again :’).

[marofdawn]

Hiii! I was rewatching SNK and couldn’t stop thinking about Eden being out of frame hahaha

I really enjoyed how you gave her space to do her own thing while canon events were happening.

Hope you’re doing well!!

We miss you 🫶🏻✨

Hi, love! I just wanna say that I viewed this ask months ago and it really put a smile on my face when I read it, so thank you. I’m sorry I’m replying months later, but I just wasn’t ready to come back at the time. It was really sweet to know that you were thinking of me and this story.

Now I’m wondering if I should rewatch AOT because it’s been about two years for me now haha.

[marofdawn]

Okay, so, as some of you have already noticed, In Another Life was put back on AO3 on a random Tuesday night 😭😭. I promised myself I wouldn’t post again unless I knew for sure that I was going to put that story back up, so… here I am. I apologize for going MIA in such a drastic way. I just couldn’t bring myself to respond to anyone for months because I didn’t want to give anyone false hope when I was honestly contemplating not coming back at all (the delete button was beyond tempting). It took me a really long time to find the courage to come back because I still don’t feel too great about my writing (and I’m also really embarrassed about the way I disappeared so dramatically), but I knew that I needed to just face my insecurities since hiding from them is not going to benefit me in the long run.

In Another Life is only back on AO3. It’s not on Wattpad at the moment. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post on Wattpad anymore cause I look into things too deeply and I get discouraged easily, but I know some people want it on there too so I think I’m just gonna suck it up and put it back lol. I wanna make it clear that I do value my readers on there too (very much so. The comments can be very supportive and hilarious). Some comments just kinda get to me but I know it’s not meant to be personal 😭.

No major changes have been made to the story, aside from some grammar, dialogue, and minor scene changes. I did not change the last few chapters like I said I was going to (even though I wrote so much for it 🥲). I’m leaving it as it is. Do I still love the way I wrote this story? Honestly, no. The only reason I’m bringing it back is not because I want it back, but because many of you do, and I felt really guilty about taking it down because of that. I hate that I ruined it for some of you. I could genuinely write a whole thesis on why I hate the story so much now but I’d rather not make the situation worse 😭. The reason I ended up taking it down everywhere was because I was stuck between wanting to respect those who loved the story as it is, and wanting to respect myself with what I wanted to change. It was hard to find a balance, so taking it down completely was what felt right for me at the time. I also knew that I had a problem with the story as a whole, and not just the last set of chapters. What I wanted to change would have required the whole story to change, and I just don’t think it would have been fair to you all.

I’m considering doing a complete rewrite some day, but I just do not have the time or motivation for that commitment again (and let’s be honest, I’d find some new things to hate in the rewrite too lmao). Maybe one day, though. I wouldn’t rule it out completely; I just know now is not the time for it, but I have plenty of ideas for one.

As for Imperfect Pitch, I still want to keep writing it. It’s been a horrendously slow process, but I’m really trying to find the motivation again. (I can’t believe it’s been almost 6 months since I last updated 😭. I feel awful). I honest to god really loved writing this fic when I first started it, but I ruined it for myself after this whole crashout I had with In Another Life, and now it’s been hard to enjoy writing in general. I don’t know when the next chapter will be, but hopefully I can get something out by the summer.

(Also, the Gojo fic is definitely not coming back. I don’t think anyone on here cares about it that much, but I thought I’d put it out there. I made terrible decisions in that one).

That’s all. I truly, truly apologize for causing some of you frustration. I still feel really undeserving of the support, but it means a lot. If I ever have feelings this strong again, I’ll put myself on time out lol.

Thank you for your patience; I hope you’re all well!

[marofdawn]

Hi, sorry idk how tumblr works I made an acc just to leave this comment. In Another Life is easily the best love story, OC, and characterization of him I've ever seen. I so get feeling critical of your work, but I really, truly hope there is an archived version of the original somewhere because though I'm sure your update will be even more true to you, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever read and I mourn it every single day. You're amazing. Pls publish both,you are so incredibly talented

Gosh, I feel really terrible about being so critical of my work sometimes because I know there are some people out there that genuinely enjoy it, which is just hard for me to believe right now, for some reason. I hope my pessimism hasn't ruined it for you. I'm so sorry for taking it down. It's hard for me to feel worthy of this praise right now, but I always cherish these comments. Always. So thank you.

That being said, I'm in a very vulnerable headspace right now, so I don't really intend to repost the original. Admittedly... I feel ashamed having it out there. I just don't feel proud of it anymore. This is why it's taking me so long to make these changes - because I just don't like my writing anymore. A very depressing confession to make, but it's where I'm at right now lol. I need to get back to a point where I have faith in myself again, and I don't know how long that'll take.

However, this is the internet, and once something is posted online, it stays there forever. I'm positive someone out there has a saved copy - seeing as ao3 has the download option. While I admittedly wouldn't want the old version spread, I can't really stop anyone who decides to share it. If you somehow obtain a copy from someone else, that is perfectly fine.

I could change my mind later on, but I won't really be sure until I finish editing completely. I'm actually very nervous people won't prefer the new version so I might just have to upload the old version as pdf somewhere if you guys hate it lol. (Or I'll dm you privately!)

Also - I know I'm replying to this ask, but this is for everyone - thank you for all the kind comments. I will be replying to them soon; I'm sorry for not replying sooner. I needed to walk away for several reasons, and I still plan on walking away again to clear my head. I just wanted to check in to inform you all where I'm at right now - probably not what you wanted to hear, but I'm not dead, at least lol :'). I didn't expect to slip into such a depressed state, but I know I just need to give it time to pass (the current state of the U.S. is certainly not helping with it though :D).

Once again, thank you. I really appreciate this ask, and all the kind comments. It's a reminder that my work still has an impact, even if I don't feel the same way about it as before. I hope I can come to love this story the way I once did.

I will let you know once I'm ready to share it again. I hope everyone had a lovely holidays if you celebrate anything, and a great start to the new year. Please stay safe <3.

[marofdawn]

Okay, so, I took In Another Life down on ao3… TEMPORARILY. I only unpublished chapters 37-50 on Wattpad. Unfortunately, there is no option like this on ao3 without deleting the whole chapter, which I’d hate to do since it would delete all the comments, so I privated it for now. Chapters 1-36 can still be found on Wattpad. (I didn’t want to overwhelm people’s notifications by publishing all 50 chapters again at once… so I only took down the chapters that will undergo significant editing).

To be completely vulnerable with you all, I feel like I completely butchered Eden’s character by the end of the story. I don’t feel like I gave her the true redemption arc and development she deserved and I wanna fix that as best as I can. I don’t want to completely change the fanfic I originally created, but one thing that is important to me is how Eden’s arc ends, and the way I handled certain situations with her after the reveal just makes me mad at myself. I feel like there are some things I can do to mend that.

I hope this doesn’t upset anybody… and if it did, I’m truly sorry. It took me a long time to make this decision and I genuinely feel really terrible about doing this. I just got a bit overwhelmed and self conscious because I can see that people are still reading this fic and it’s hard to feel excited about that when some part of me has started to feel like it sucks deep down. I geniunely feel so undeserving of how well it did sometimes because I just don’t feel like I did it justice. I know I’m being extremely hard on myself about this because it really shouldn’t be a big deal - it’s literally just a fanfic that I wrote for free - but it’s serious to me because I want to be happy with what I write and I’m just… not. Reading it from beginning to end for the first time has really made me question so many of the choices I made.

I promise that I will do my best to get these changes done soon. I hope you understand.

Take care ❤️.

[gangnampinkstyle]

throwback to my levi fanart that went viral on tiktok 😛

[marofdawn]

Sooo when are we getting the Eden x Levi shower sex scene? 👀

LOLLLL

tbh, maybe that could be some sort of one shot I could post on here without using a name and stuff. I currently have a love/hate relationship with IAL rn so I’m on the fence about writing new content for it again… but I feel like this is something that I could post as a xreader one shot. It could be somewhat related to IAL, but doesn’t have to be so others could enjoy too. I’ll think about it :).

[marofdawn]

In Another Life, Chapters 21-30: Comments, Alterations, and Highlights

Part 3... There are slightly more noticeable alterations here, but not massive. This is mostly me ranting over some of my poor decisions ngl 😭 but there are some things I came across that I ended up feeling more proud of than I expected! The next two sets of chapters are likely going to have a lot more noticeable changes... stay tuned.

Chapter 21: Falling

I kinda hate the whole tea leaves convo idk why sfkusdlgkkshfk 😭. I’ve drank tea using tea leaves before, and I’ve always added the leaves FIRST and then poured hot water… so I’m not sure why I made them drink it differently here… I guess it was to spark a conversation, but it kinda makes no sense to me sisksjdjdk. I changed some of the dialogue to make Eden seem less... idk, clueless? It's such a meaningless scene, but there are many times throughout this story where I make Eden out to be... not very intelligent, and I hate myself for that lmao.

I find this chapter extra cheesy sjdfhdlfj which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it made me wish I extended the slow burn :/. Like, it's not bad... but I feel like I needed more time for them to really digest their feelings for each other. I really loved the way I wrote the enemies portion between them, then the built up sexual tension, but I feel like I really rushed into their “lovers” plotline. For some reason, I just can't even convince myself that they are in love, yet at this point in the story, they are supposed to be in deep. And I find it crazier that at this point in the story it had only been about two weeks since their first kiss? And within that short time frame they both claimed to be falling for each other sfhljdhlj sigh. I think I was just afraid to drag out the slow burn too much, and the other issue was that they kinda did need to fall deeply by this point since the reveal was supposed to happen soon...

Otherwise, I love how Eden further reflects on her goals in life. She realizes she never had a proper goal for herself aside from wanting to obtain the Beast Titan, and she also starts wondering about how the other warriors must have felt with what they had to do. It really starts to hit her how fucked up Marley was to them. We also see Levi open up to her about Furlan and Isabel while Eden talks about Petra. Very touching moment... until Eden has to pull away 😈. I loved adding that bit of her deciding to distance herself from him like the angst is so good.

Chapter 22: Skepticism

Before I get into my rant, I want to mention that I made a change to the journal entry here. Previously, Eden wrote about her fear of killing and that maybe she's just afraid of killing who she cares about because of what happened with her dad... nah. To me, it doesn't make as much sense, so I decided to make her write about how the abuse she endured after nearly killing her father was the reason she had a breakdown after finally killing someone - as well as how she was able to let those feelings go. I just feel like this is a more plausible explanation. Many people who are punished in a harmful manner have that trauma stick with them years later, and I just feel like it makes sense for her to have that fear of being punished for killing because of that abuse. A lot of trauma from Marley has stuck with her, and this is one bit of trauma I didn’t expand on much. (Like she nearly got executed!! I really brushed that off lmao).

Alright, rant time:

THE DAMN JOURNALLLL.

This is genuinely the most amateur idea I've come up with for this story because oh my god... every time I see her with it now, it makes me so mad at myself. Like it makes NO SENSE for her to still even have it!! None!! And while the chapter of Levi reading it is one of my favorites in the whole fic, I'm still so mad at how much it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

And when I made her RIP THE PAGES OUTSIDE AND LET THEM FLOAT IN THE WIND... ALL COMMON SENSE JUST FLEW OUT THE WINDOW. I know she's not supposed to be a genius, but it's moments like this one where I realize I made her so dumb, like seriously 😭. Someone should have smacked me upside the head. She deserved better than some of the moments I gave her istg.

And of course, I made Armin find it lmao. I'm ngl though... I feel pretty content with how I wrote the reveal, and Armin finding out actually ended up saving Levi in the end, but I'll discuss that once I get to the reveal chapter. Right now, I'm just pissed at how stupid I really made Eden here like COME ON GIRL!!

Aside from that... I mean, I suppose I did kinda like the action scene. I rewrote a few sentences and dialogue, but overall, I didn't hate it. I am not amazing at writing battle scenes, but I liked how this showed Eden's development with regards to being afraid of killing. She killed a handful of people in this chapter without hesitation, and we can see her slowly start to let go of the remorse she once felt. A bit dark, but necessary for this arc. She knew she needed to stop being a pussy about it and lock in, and that's what she did. I'm happy with her in this scene!

Chapter 24: Campanula

The argument Eden has with Levi here is completely unnecessary. I hate reading it back lmao.

My intention was to show that Eden's flaws still remained even after she develops as a character. One thing I've always HATED about certain shows/movies/stories/games/etc. is when they'll have a character with very obvious flaws and dark traits change their mindset for good and suddenly lose EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of their flaws immediately. It's just... so unrealistic to me. You don't suddenly lose all your flaws just because you turn “good.” That's just not how it works. It is a very, very gradual process.

That was what I was trying to depict here - that Eden was still stubborn and jumped to conclusions a lot even though she changed. However, I did this HORRIBLY here 😭. Eden was overly childish here, and Levi was unnecessarily harsh as well. I just feel like the way it played out was so... cringey. It just feels like I was trying to force conflict?? I tweaked it a bit to tone it down, and I feel a lot better with it. I feel like Eden sounds a little more reasonable with why she's upset, but she still continues with her "jumping to conclusions" problem and Levi is still pretty harsh about it.

Okay, but now onto what I liked about this chapter. I actually enjoyed reading this dream back??? I thought I'd hate it, but I like how descriptive and detailed I made it. I remember writing out the dream portion literally took me so long because I wanted it to be extremely descriptive, and it was the part I kept rereading over and over again to add more details. I'm actually pretty proud of it, okay, kudos to me...

I was trying to really hard to use more literary devices here. The campanula were meant to symbolize both eternal love and death, and I kept one flower alive at the end to represent Eden's fate.

"That flower was the last thing you saw before your vision went black. Although you were gone, you remembered that it never dwindled."

This line was meant to foreshadow when Eden "dies" in front of Levi in Shiganshina. All the other flowers died at this point in the dream, but one still remained - full of life. That final flower was supposed to represent Eden and Levi's eternal love while the ones that died represented death and suffering. Eden was "gone" just like the other flowers, but her and Levi’s love still never dwindled just like the one flower didn't.

Idk if the foreshadowing was clear but I'm happy I even made the attempt. I really, really, tried to make it detailed and I like it! And I love how dark I made it with Levi slicing her throat??? Like, it was unexpected but very valid to her situation and I really loved it.

And then this quote gets brought up after Kenny dies:

"Just know that you can hate a person for what they did to you and still mourn the person they could have been. There is no shame in that."

This is my absolute favorite quote from this fic. I just feel like it encompasses everything about what this fic is about. Whether it be romantic, platonic, familial - we all have people in our lives that we have (or had) a lot of love for that have hurt us deeply in some way. Sometimes we can’t find it in ourselves to forgive them or feel bad for them in any way, and those feelings are valid. It’s also valid to hate them yet hold some sympathy towards them. Emotions are complicated, and nobody gets to tell YOU how you need to feel about anyone. It's okay to forgive, but you also don't have to and there is nothing wrong with that.

In this instance, it applied to Levi and Kenny's relationship. Levi appeared devastated when he died, but I feel like some part of him still hated him deep down. Kenny saved him, but he also left Levi alone when he was still a kid. Levi felt that betrayal even years later. I think Levi recognizes that Kenny essentially became an enemy, but it's also painful to lose someone you really, really wished did better for you in life. Kenny had the potential to be a better father figure, but he didn't want to be. That is the most tragic part about their relationship. I like to think Levi mourned the person he wished he became, and not the person he actually was.

And of course, this applies to Eden as well, since I bring it up again when Levi reads the journal. He spends a lot of time hating her and resenting her because of the betrayal, but his love for her never dwindled. He recognized the weight of what she let happen and knew he couldn't ignore it, but he also had a hard time letting her go completely and wished things could have turned out differently. He chose to mourn the relationship they could have had.

Chapter 25: Love

Here we go...

I don't really like the way I structured this chapter; it feels like a long info dump, especially since there aren't really any line breaks. I do feel like some parts are rushed because they kind of had to be - I don't think anyone was gonna sit through 20k words of just Eden's backstory lmao - but I hit the most important aspects of her character, I feel. Surprisingly, I didn’t actually change much in this chapter lmao.

Regardless, I feel like this chapter was necessary. I think it really explains a lot of Eden's behavior - her anger, her hostility, her defensiveness. She was taught to fight the moment she was born. Fighting was all she ever knew because of her father. It was the way she handled her emotions because she knew no other proper way. It is incredibly difficult to break out of those habits when that is all you are exposed to. It also explains a lot of her pridefulness in the beginning of the story too, since she was basically the model student in her unit. Her father constantly made her feel like she wasn't good enough, so this also explains her poor habit of jumping to conclusions and assuming people were trying to talk poorly about her.

I feel like her father and mother's relationship makes no sense, though... realistically, there is no way they wouldn't have been caught since he's a Marleyan and she's an Eldian lmao. Like if he purchased the house, how did nobody catch that Eldians lived there 😭?? All their mail was addressed to that address too since they'd receive Eden's letters from school... maybe he had another home too, sure, but idk it's a little confusing to me. So many parts of it make no sense, but this is fanfiction so let me calm down lmao.

The thing is, I always wanted Eden's father's relationship with her mother to parallel Eden's relationship with Levi. They both fell in love with who they deemed to the be “enemy.” Eden was just the only one of the two who wanted to create a better life for the people she originally thought were her enemies. Her father took too long to get there.

I brushed past this part the first time:

For someone who is so hostile, brash, and angry, Eden never actually thought of herself up until meeting Levi. Every single thing she did, she did for her sister. She kept quiet to save her. She let people die to save her. She chose her sister because she didn't want her to live the life she did - a life where she felt like she had no purpose and had to live for others. Eden had to live with the guilt of her choices for the rest of her life. Even up until the end of the story, we can see how much it consumes her, and she just kept taking all the mistreatment she was receiving because she felt like she deserved it.

Loving Levi was the first time she felt like she was doing something for herself, even as selfish as it was. I won't expand on this here because I already do it later on, but I feel like I tend to brush past just how tragic I made her story. Her relationship with her mom is very significant. She became averse to the idea of love because of her parents, but once she fell in love, she started to understand her mother a little better and felt terrible for saying the things she said.

I always wonder how differently I would have written Eden if she didn’t have something to lose… she’d probably have been more likely to confess herself.

Reading this chapter back reminded me of why I wrote Eden in the first place. Admittedly, I sometimes regret making Eden as unlikable as she was in the beginning of the story. I've received a lot of strong opinions about her character in the beginning, and while I wouldn't consider it a direct attack on my writing, some part of me does take it personally because it makes me wonder if I went overboard with it - if maybe I should have toned down her flaws a notch because it comes off too distasteful. I was at a different point of my life back then and that was who I wanted to write. I'm not sure if I'd write a character who was as deeply flawed as Eden was again, but I also don't completely regret writing her. When people tell me they see themselves in her, it makes me feel terrible for even questioning writing her this way. Her behavior isn't always justifiable, and that's the point. She was supposed to develop and take accountability for it. There were definitely some aspects of her character I feel like I could have done better, though.

Chapter 26: Irresistible

There were very few dialogue and sentences changes here. I’ve been wanting to tweak some of the sex scene and conversation Eden and Levi had here for a while now, so I hope nobody minds 😅. It’s not super different, though… to me at least.

I pretty much wrote my ideal man in this chapter 😭. Levi's tenderness is just so ahhh. I feel so weird swooning over my writing, but I guess that's the point. I SHOULD enjoy my writing like this sujdjdn.

Now, do I think Levi would ever be able to be as open and smooth about his feelings as he is here? No 😭😭 but the plot needed to speed up since the reveal was coming soon and it wasn’t going to be Eden confessing since she made the decision to back away. I kinda like that I didn’t make Levi back down because I feel like it shows that he didn’t wanna give up on her - like he just knew there was something there he didn’t wanna lose.

This is one of my absolute favorite parts in this entire story:

This really shows how flawed Eden is. She knows it’s wrong to continue what she had with Levi. She acknowledges how selfish she’s being, but she does it anyway. She wanted to do something for herself for once, but this was also incredibly wrong of her to do…like SO wrong. And she continued being selfish about it up until she leaves. Eden was having a hard time accepting the fact she needed to let him go, and she wanted to hold on to him for as long as she could, no matter how selfish it was of her. Granted, she would not have continued if Levi didn’t confess, but she still did it anyway.

Andddd bonus:

My ideal man, y’all… sigh.

Chapter 27: The Coronation

Fluff. That’s all I have to say. Again, I don’t really imagine Levi to be as affectionate so soon into a relationship like he is here, but the plot needed to speed up!! We needed some fluff so the reveal could hurt more, you know 😁.

I loved writing Eden bonding with the girls. It’s just another example of how much she cares about them without explicitly saying it.

Only thing I hate reading back is the alcohol stuff 😭. Alcohol problems are unfortunately a part of Eden’s character, but I just hate reading those parts back, idk. And this scene is meant to be lighthearted, but when I really think about it… WHYY is she drinking when she should be anxious about Levi and because of Armin being on her ass… once again, I failed at making Eden the more intelligent character she should have been.

Buttt I thought her interaction with Levi while drunk was kinda cute so I’ll give myself that much 😔. Her complimenting his eyes and all that... it's so sweet, yet so heartbreaking knowing what's going to happen next.

Chapter 27: A Twinkling Star

Lowkey another filler-ish chapter. Very few dialogue and sentence changes, but still a few. It’s just more fluff until shit goes to hell. It’s chapters like these where I wonder how I made Eden able to push past her guilty conscience so easily🧍🏻‍♀️ bc trust that I am genuinely a very remorseful person… when I feel like I did something wrong, it takes me so long to forgive myself 😭. I could never imagine myself engaging with Levi the way Eden did without feeling extremely guilty about it 😭 sudjdjdnd.

I feel bad for how much I put the girl through after she returned to Marley, but it’s starting to hit me just how fucked up this was of her. Like I already knew it was fucked up because I acknowledged it at the end of the story, but damn. Welp, that was the point of her character, so skjfafja.

Chapter 28: Calm Before the Storm

Again, Eden is so selfish here sidjdjdnfn. Having sex with him again, telling him she was his, telling herself she wanted nobody else to have this effect on him but her… damn, Eden. I really made her pour more salt into the wound by doing this 😭, but hey, I think I really punished tf out of her for all this so I can’t say I’m incredibly mad about it. And she got held accountable by Levi for this later on… I feel like that was one of the most important conversations they needed to have in the story. This was very, very selfish of Eden to do… but that’s the point so I did my job! She isn’t supposed to make all the right decisions.

Also sorry for robbing y’all of the shower sex 😶. I received quite a few comments about that SJIDJENDN. I just feel like I made their relationship too sexual between them sometimes Idk.

Chapter 29: These Violent Delights

These next set of chapters are definitely some of my favoritesssss. I loved adding the part of Levi giving Eden a rose... I just kept making the situation more and more heartbreaking hehehe. It was such a cute scene 🥲.

I really loved how I wrote Zeke's entrance lololol. Zeke was lowkey one of my favorites to write in this story; I definitely villainized him more in this story so I wouldn't say he was completely in character, but it was still really interesting to write him and his dynamic with Eden.

And then Armin at the end... lol. It honestly took me a while to try and come up with a logical way for him to discover what Eden's intentions were. I still don’t feel super confident about it, but I think it would make sense for him to find the most obscure way to reveal her identity because of how smart he is. Like I don’t think anyone else would have thought to check the clothing composition 😭.

Chapter 30: Have Violent Ends

Once again… the argument Levi and Eden have here is just so unnecessary 😭 or rather, it just doesn’t flow naturally for me. I was trying to portray that neither of them are perfect people, and these small arguments can happen in relationships, but it kinda came out of nowhere?? I don’t really like that the main cause of Eden’s annoyance is due to Levi’s overprotectiveness… because I haven’t really portrayed that??? Like, I think it would have been a valid point to make IF I ACTUALLY SHOWED THAT, which I really didn’t?? Like, yes, he kept saying he can’t lose her, which is a very intense statement to make, but I wouldn’t say it’s an extremely overprotective thing of him to do?? And he’s very attentive, but idk… it didn’t seem overprotective now that I read it back. I just don’t think it was anything worth her crashing out for again ajsjdjd. Granted, ik she’s already stressed at this point, but it was just a weird choice of mine to make, idk.

So anyway, I tweaked this argument a bit. It’s more to do with Eden jumping to conclusions like she always does. I just don’t feel like I always portrayed Eden’s flaws in a tasteful manner, and this was another example of it. She’s not meant to be perfect, but I feel like this was one of those instances where it felt forced and unnecessary.

She also falls into her impulsivity again when she throws the champagne at Lukas’ face, but I’m gonna let it slide because it really was her only opportunity and he did deserve it, soooo yeah 😭. I’m gonna defend my girl here.

I made Levi so soft with her in this chapter; it kinda breaks my heart 😭. Like he is soooo soft and understanding… he really wants to understand her and help her even though he’s aware of her flaws. I often wonder if I made him a little dramatic with how he ran out of the hotel room to find her, buttt I’m keeping it. He saw her stuff gone so it makes sense for him to panic about where she went.

And then, shit goes to hell…

Summary:

Definitely had some more issues here… and I will have a lot more to say in the next two parts lol. I did a lot more editing here with dialogue and sentences. Kinda feel like I’m over editing now, so I hope I didn’t change anything someone else might have liked 😭😭. I promise that after I finish my thorough editing of this story I will NOT touch this story again, and if I ever try to, HAND CUFF ME.

The fluff between Eden and Levi is cute, and I like how flawed Eden’s character is at this point. She contradicts herself constantly and she’s really not a good person here, but that’s the point. She’s being selfish, and it makes perfect sense why - because she has never been able to decide for herself until falling in love with Levi. Still very fucked up of her to lead him on, but I can understand why she did it.

Anyway, I will see you in part 4. The chapters are getting longer and longer, so we’ll see how soon I can get through it. I don’t wanna dwell on this story too much anymore, but I think reading through it from beginning to end for the first time is giving me a different perspective.

Take care!

[ziv-art]

Levi Heichou!☕⚔️

Went a little collage crazy but I'm not mad about it.🤔