Auto-Fuckography.

My name's Mat Drew, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Actors get paid more to pretend to go to space than actual astronauts do to go to space

[twitterlols]

[sandandglass]

[just-shower-thoughts]

As a kid, I thought Maleficent was a stupid villain (wanted to kill the princess because she didn’t get a birthday party invite). As an adult who doesn’t get invited to any of my friends’ events, I totally get where she’s coming from.

[ruinedchildhood]

[halloweenskellington]

[matfuckingdrew]

me: *about to send someone a message*

myself: hey

me: ? hey what's

myself: if they wanted to have any kind of contact w/ you they would have initiated it.

me: alright, neat, neat concept, but communication is actually a two-way street so

myself: they have no desire to speak to you and never have any desire to speak to you, ever. they never think of you. they will never think of you, at all, ever, even in passing. you are nothing.

me, tossing my phone out the window: alright! neat! awesome! fantastic!

[seok-ki]

They put a raincoat on him when it rained.

[just-shower-thoughts]

As someone with ADHD, people are more likely to wonder what drugs I’m on when I’m not on any, and less likely when I am

[peteneems]

[thevintageloser]

[just-shower-thoughts]

When you’re a child, sex jokes are considered “adult content”, but as an adult, they’re considered “immature”.

[matfuckingdrew]

I return I guess?

[kiefeon]

Go on anonymous and ask me questions

[grandma39]

[altklug]

My cat enjoys every single sunshine while looking like an angel. 👼🏼☀️🌿

[scalira]

Shout out to bi boys. You may not have a lot of positive posts for you out there but you are valid and you are good. Your bisexuality is not ‘a stepping stone to being fully gay’ you’re not a gay guy too scared to fully come out. Your bisexuality is just as real and valid as anyone else’s. You are important and you matter.

[matfuckingdrew]

This, I needed this today.