mayhem gossip

  Why talk to people     when you can talk   a b o u t them?

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Baby Black is such an attention whore...

It doesn’t seem she’s ever denied such. Why I think she once even begged Lucius to give her attention, as she shook him violently. He has yet to acknowledge her pleas. 

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Hey, is Remus Lupin gay? You know, I just can't seem to figure it out - he's just so very closeted about his sexuality.

I don’t know. I really don’t. He should probably bring it up some more, try and pop into random conversations that have nothing to do with him. He’s good at that. 

…But only if he’s actually gay — because who can really tell, right?

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Could Lupin be anymore obvious about his thing for a certain Black boy?

The band of elves came together to debate this inquiry. As we each circled around the meager fire, the billowing sound of a train rendered the lot of us useless. It seems we couldn’t even talk until the train finally passed, to which we decided….

If anyone is less subtle than a train, it’s Remus Lupin.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

How long until Baby Black is booted from the snake nest? There's only so much that they can tolerate when it comes to fraternization.

She should probably go to her sister or her cousin Evan for advice on that one. With both snake eyes slythering after muggleborns, one can only presume they have some good advice to offer. At least Baby Black kept it pure.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Sirius Black has been awfully quiet lately, along with his sketchy younger brother

Haven’t you heard– – – the best Black’s are the quiet ones. It’s when they open their bloody mouths that the world starts having problems. 

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Someone tell Finn the walking encyclopedia to look up the definition of a personality.

We looked up originality while we were at it, and couldn’t find your picture. 

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Seemed like Evan and Amycus joined their little song quite a lot for they together stole away in the woods afterwards. I bet there's something going on between them...

What’s going on is that the former dastardly duo has now separated into two lonesome onesome’s. This is fantastic news for the lowly of us though– – as they fight each other, they seem to forget that they once enjoyed attacking us. Thank the heavens for the blonde that turned these two snakes against one another.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

when are you publishing the new issue?

All of the elves have been busy cleaning mascara stained pillow cases and puke stains off the floor. When our owners give us some free time, we’ll gift you with what knowledge we have. That being said, it should be on each doorstep no later than Friday.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Everyone is ratting on Potter, yet no one's scolding miss Narcissa with that ring on her finger...

We all care much more about the happiness of Lily, versus Lucius. Why it wasn’t just last week, our tangerine princess gave a certain elf (me) a pat on the back and told me I was doing a good job. 

Why can’t they all be like her? 

Lily, if you’re out there in this terribly cold school without a Potter to keep you warm, come find me. I’ll treat you properly. To make things right, I’ll start putting rocks in the princess’ glass slippers. She deserves all the pain I can provide for wronging you. 

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Anything on Mary and James sneaking off after the bonfire? A few eyes saw them disappear off by the lake...

……Merlin help us all. 

Not even he can save this boy now. The Virgin Mary better start saying those prayers, because after last night– no lady bits are off limits when it comes to James.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

James Potter just can't stay away from those blondes.

Is there more than one blonde, my sweet tipster? We need names, pictures– – – give us receipts to show our favorite Head Girl.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

mathilde delacour has every boy in this castle wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even care!

Unless every boy’s name is Archer Wolff, then we think you may be wrong on your numbers. The elves think you need to pay more attention in class, and stop watching the lovebirds outside the window.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

So who's taking bets on how long it takes Lily to dump Potter's sorry arse?

All bets run through Mundungus Fletcher– – he’ll inform you that the odds are three hundred to one that he’s drowning in a pool of his own tears by the end of this week.

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

Trelawney needs to grow a spine already and stop whining to anyone who gives her the time of day.

That Trelawney sees all– – she probably knew you were going to run your mouth before you even did. Be careful, she may see your death before you, too. 

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

As hot as Lily was nearly knocking Carrow on his ass, is anyone else turned on by how sexy Amycus looks with a bruised jaw and battle wounds?

Be careful now with that furnace burning in your panties. If Alecto hears you talking like that, it may be you that walks away with the battle scars. That being said, Amycus might be into the fire-crotch ladies. 

There’s no other logical explanation for why he hasn’t k i l l e d her yet. 

[mayhemrpgossip-blog]

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Mary's been awfully quiet in the aftermath of all of this...

Mary has that habit. She becomes the center of attention during disastrous events only to crawl in her little corner following the fun. Very suspicious and quite rude, if you ask us. 

Bulk up. No one likes a weak little damsel. It was cute at first, but now we’ve grown rather bored of that sad lil’ frown of yours. Are you disappointed that now someone else has all the attention? Should it have been you who got attacked, instead? Again.

A throwback to the days when everyone knew who Mary Macdonald was. Now it’s all about Doris. What a shame.