I deactivated my Patreon for the time being, and doing so deleted the post about the reasons why. Here is a copy of the post:
HIATUS: Full Time Job + Mental Health + New Projects
This post has been a long time coming, and hopefully this is will be as temporary as possible. But this account will be going on a hiatus for an unknown amount of time.
For the last couple years, I have been struggling with time management and focus. Truth be told, I started working full time again at another company because I feel that contributing to my family's financial wellness and our future is the most important thing to me at this point in my life. But working full time, and also having a social life, while also being married, and keeping a house, and trying to do artwork as a hobby let alone a career--is absolutely exhausting. Once in a great while I feel like I really am starting to get the hang of it, only to turn around and have a really busy month with household projects that throws everything off course again. I have been unable to reach my personal goals in my artwork for a long time. Even when I set aside specific time for artwork during the week, I am unable to fully commit to any one project, and I end up having too many things that I want to work on and I'm never sure what to focus on.
Additionally, over the years I've tried many times to work on teams of creators. It's something that I felt I had really wanted, because making a comic by myself has been so incredibly stressful and lonely, and I miss that collaborative feeling from college. But many times this has backfired and I've lost a lot of trust in other creators and tons of time that I put into our work. That's not to say that I've given up, but I am very very picky about the people who I give my time to nowadays. I can honestly say that recent projects, like West of Oz, has restored most of my faith and I'm looking forward to working on my portfolio as a comic colorist for future collaborative projects.
Currently, I am working on trying to create artwork that's just for myself again, as in I don't want to worry about the sale or value or whether or not other people like it. This is easier said than done of course, especially after years and years of trying to make products that people might want to buy. I'm also struggling finishing commissions, which is very unsettling as well. And while this kind of work is great for a lot of people and some artists are very good at cranking out products very quickly, it's very draining to me and can be discouraging when I don't feel successful. I don't think that I'll be doing many conventions in the next year or so, but I'll make announcements on other social media sites when I do. I'm hoping that when I do make the decision to come back into the art scene, that it's with a fresh big bang, you know?
I want it to be known though that I still want to create comics, and I'm not giving up! Luckily I still have plenty of projects that I'm slowly working on. It just so happens that 'Stars Falling Down' is not my main priority like I had hoped it would be (but will be again someday). I hope to announce a launch date soon, but I'm working on a webcomic with another creator, Nick Winand. We've already worked well together on West of Oz and kind of just fell into writing this one together. It's been nice to trust someone again. It's called 'Bubble and Trouble' and we already have a few episodes done, and a lot of word building and long-term plotlines written out too. AND I'm working on a comic with my friend Laurissa! When we first started working on comics in around 2011-ish, we both had similar goals of what we had wanted to do. Like, no one wanted to do the lettering but we both wanted to draw. Since then, we've both gained different strengths and values and we're excited to work on a beautiful short romance story together.
So please stay tuned! Nick and I might try to get a Patreon going once our webcomic launches, or maybe something like Buy Me a Coffee. We're still figuring out logistics of being an adult with a regular posting schedule. And Laurissa and I are going to attempt to pitch this idea to publishers! But in the meantime, I think emotional support is the only thing I need for now.
Being an adult can be hard and we also are living through a pandemic on top of everything else that has been thrown at the millennial generation. Circumstances demands that we all be nicer to ourselves and each other. But I will struggle with this decision for a long time, and regret that I couldn't keep this up at this time.
I cannot thank each and everyone of you enough for any kind of support you've given to me over the years. I wouldn't be here without you, and it's only with you in mind that I make the announcement that I'm quietly bowing out for a little while. I know I'll see you again soon.
Keep in touch and love yourself please!
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis
prguitarman
kianamaiart