anna @meand-mybrain - Tumblr Blog

Here for you

Pairing: Spencer reid x fem!reader

Summary: 4 times you take care of Spencer and one time he takes care of you

Warnings: use of y/n, like one petname, swearing, mentions of injuries, bruises, blood, mentions of food, hospitals, abduction, mention of car accident

Words: 6.8k. Masterlist

A/N: English is not my first language,so please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes

1.

It's slow day at the bau. Everybody is going through their files and reports. Or at least they are pretending to be doing that.

Your desk is next to Spencer's, so you can clearly see what he is doing. He, probably the only one, is actually working. With his incredibly fast reading, he is putting one paper down after another. Which, you have to say is pretty fascinating and entertaining to watch. Well, up until the point he accidentally cuts not one but 2 of his fingers on the paper.

You hear him hiss in pain, which causes you to break out of your thoughts. Your attention is immediately on him.

His hand starts to get a bit bloody, you don't think, you've ever seen so much blood from a paper cut. So you are up on your legs before you know it. Spencer is frantically looking for what you assume is a tissue in his drawer, when you wrap his fingers in your tissue.

"Here," you say, smiling at him, "who knew a paper cut could bleed so much, huh?"

You expect some fact about paper cuts from Spencer, but he is still looking for something in his desk, so he just hums in agreement.

"Spence," you get his attention,"what are you looking for?"

"Uhh, my antiseptic spray, but I can't find it anywhere and I don't want it to get infected or something," he responds.

"I have one!" You always carry a small first aid kit with you. You never know, when it could come in handy. "I'll get it." You are quick to retrieve it from you bag along with some patches.

"Can I?" you gesture at his hand.

"You want to do it?" he asks, a little unsure and bashful.

"Yes, so can I?" Spencer nods and you gently take his hand in yours. As you patch up his hand, you can feel his eyes studying your face. You can't help but to blush under his gaze.

Spencer's thinking of how pretty you look and that, maybe he should get the paper cuts more often, just for you to take care of him oh so softly.

"All done," you say with a smile,"hopefully i did okay."

It takes Spencer a few seconds to realise you are talking to him and stop looking at you. You clearly catch him staring at you.

He quickly tries to play it off and gives you the best smile he can, "you did, thank you y/n."

"You are very welcome," you think of teasing him about being more careful around papers, but you decide, that he looks flustered good enough.

2.

It's been a tough few days. The unsub is pretty smart and it took the team almost a week to find out who it is.

You are now standing outside the unsub's house about to go inside on Derek's cue. The team has split up in a half, you, Derek and Hotch are at the front door.

As soon as the door is opened, there's a lot of shouting and the unsub takes off to the back door. He catches Spencer off guard there and roughly slams him against the wall and runs away. Almost everybody runs after him, except you and Rossi. You two swiftly go to Spencer.

Spencer is lying on the floor, groaning in pain and your heart almost jumps out of your chest when you see him like that. It only takes you and Dave a few seconds to see that his shoulder doesn't look okay. And from closer look, it definitely isn't alright.

"Don't move," Dave instructs him," I think, you might have dislocated your shoulder." You call for a medic, as you look at Dave and then at Spencer with a worried frown.

You find Spencer's hand and squeeze it reassurance. He tries to give you the best smile he can over the pain. You don't even want to imagine to amount of pain he is in, his expression is enough for you to know it's bad.

Thankfully, the medics get to you in a short time and take Spencer to the ambulance. In the ambulance, he is told, that it's definitely dislocated and that they need to put in back in the right place. Spencer's eyes widen a little at that, but he braces himself for it and manages to survive it with only a small whimper of pain.

You stay with him the whole time, as they treat him and honestly you probably look more in pain than Spencer. You hate to see him like this.

"You shouldn't move your shoulder too much for 2 weeks," the medic starts to instruct as she puts some kind of bandage around his shoulder, "also you should ice it every couple of hours for the next couple of days. It will reduce the pain and swelling."

"It doesn't look, that anything is broken or teared, so you should just let it rest, but if it hurts too much, you should go to the hospital."

"Thank you," Spencer says and gets up slowly with your help.

"Does it hurt a lot?" you ask on the way to the car.

"Yeah, so fucking much, I'd literally die for some painkillers right now," he groans.

"Wish I had any, but I left everything at the hotel. I'll try to get there as fast as I can," you say, as you open the door for him and help him inside. He hisses in pain, while doing so and you murmur a sympathetic sorry to him.

On the ride to the hotel, he closes his eyes, willing the pain to go away and you try to drive as best as you can, considering that every bump sends a jolt of pain to his shoulder.

At the hotel, you quickly pack up your things and head to Spencer's room with the painkillers in your hand. You find him struggling to even fold his clothes, so you help him.

"Got everything you need?" you ask as you look around the room, seeing if you've packed everything.

"I think so, thank you" he smiles at you. You return the smile, "of course, Spence. We should probably go, everyone is already in the car."

As soon as you get on the plane, Spencer lays down on the couch and you can't blame him, he looks so tired and the painkillers dulled the pain, but made him exhausted.

He is out in a matter of seconds, even before the plane manages to take off. It's quite chilly on the plane and you realise Spencer doesn't even have a sweater on. So of course, you get up and softly put a blanket over him.

You know, you are in for a hell, when you see Derek's big smirk.

"What?" you frown at him.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just that pretty boy is being well taken care of," he says smugly," wonder if I'd get the same treatment."

"Oh, shut up," you roll your eyes at him," of course, I'd take care of you, too."

"Okay, yeah. But I wouldn't receive that kind of a look with the care," he smirks again, clearly amused by your furrowed brows.

"What do you mean? What look?"

"I'm talking about you looking at Spencer like he is a literal sunshine," Derek says as it is some kind of well - known fact.

"I'm...-I'm not!" You lie, but it's such a bad lie, that even you don't believe it.

"You're the worst liar ever," he scoffs, "everybody can see, that you and Spencer like each other. Well everybody, except for you."

"Spencer doesn't like me." Nobody has to make this situation worse for you, you do it yourself.

"Are you kidding me? That boy is absolutely whipped for you. I'm surprised, that he can even function when near you," he chuckles.

"W-what?"

"It's all true, ask anyone, they'll say the same thing." You don't say anything back anymore, you think about what he said. Does Spencer really like you back? There's no way.

You overthink it for a good while, until the tiredness from the day catches up to you too and you fall asleep.

You go from the airport straight to Spencer's apartment. Obviously, he can't drive and you live not so far from him, so you drive the two of you through the empty night streets.

You don't talk much during the drive, because his eyelids keep closing every few seconds and you don't feel like breaking the comfortable silence. So you drive with the radio put on low volume, quietly humming a song to yourself.

When you finally park in his driveway, you jump out of the car and take out his travel bags out of the trunk, while he slowly gets out.

"Thank you for driving me home, you don't have to go up with me. I can take my bags, I don't want to keep you up anymore late," Spencer says and reaches out with his unharmed arm for the bag, but you put it out of his reach.

"You literally can't even put your hand up and you expect me to let you carry this heavy ass bag up the stairs?" you look with a disbelief at him, "there's no way, I'm doing that. So come on, start walking Spence, before I'll make you."

Your serious tone lifts Spencer's corners of the mouth up into a smile. You leave no space for Spencer to argue with you, because you are already walking towards his door with a tight grip on the bag.

You've been at Spencer's apartment many times before, but it always feels like being at a library or somewhere very quiet, I mean like in a good way. It gives off the vibes of comfort, peace and home. Even now, you feel slightly jealous, that your place doesn't feel like that. As you look around, Spencer flops (carefully) on his couch and sighs.

"Spence, do you have ice?" you wonder.

"Umm ice? Yeah, I think so..." He doesn't ask, why do you want to know that, too tired to care about it. Only when you emerge with a smaller pack of ice, wrapped in a dishtowel, he understands.

"Here," you cautiously put it on his hurt shoulder," you should ice it for a bit, so it reduces the pain ."

"Thank you, y/n" he says with a warm smile.

"Don't mention it-"

"No, really. Thank you for helping me today. It means a lot," Spencer does something really brave, he takes your hand into his and gives you a little squeeze. He doesn't know if it's the medicine or if he's going crazy by doing this, but he settles that he doesn't actually mind, because your hand fits perfectly into his and he doesn't feel like letting go off it ever again.

You squeeze his hand back, but before any of you can do or say something stupid, that you'd later regret, you tell him, " I don't know if you have any painkillers, so I left you some in the kitchen. If you need anything and i mean anything, even something small, call me, yeah? I'll come."

"Get some rest, Spence. I'll check up on you in the morning, goodnight." You give him one more smile, which he returns and leave.

The memory of his hand on yours invades your mind for a good while making it hard for you to even fall asleep. Spencer's only saved from this overthinking by the exhaustion and painkillers affect.

3.

Since the morning, you think there is something off about Spencer. His eyes are glossy, he looks very pale and every now and then he shivers. You've asked him multiple times since you've arrived, if he feels okay and he's said yes everytime.

But there's just no way you believe him and by every hour that goes by you don't think, that even Spencer or anyone around believes it. He is for sure coming down with something.

Your prediction is confirmed, when Hotch walks out of his office and on his way to get coffee, he passes Spencer's desk. He instantly stops next to his desk, takes one look at Spencer and knows, he should not be working.

"Reid, go home, before you make anybody else sick, too," Hotch orders him and before Spencer can open his mouth to protest, Aaron adds," and don't come back until you don't look like you might pass out any second." He also orders Anderson to drive him home, so Spencer doesn't have any choice but to go.You give him a small smile and mouth, that he should get some rest.

For the rest of the time you are at work, you are a little bored. Your deskmate, Spencer, is always up to chat or something, but without him the clock on the wall seems to go slower. Finally, you get to leave and your first stop on the way home is pharmacy and a soup shop.

You want to make sure Spencer is okay and alive, that's what good friends do, right? They check up on you when you have a flu or not?

You quickly get to his place, before you can think too much of it. You knock ones and then second time, when Spencer opens the door, looking even worse the he had before. There's a sweat running down his face, his skin is even paler and he can barely keep his eyes open.

"Y/N?" he squints at you in confusion.

"Hi Spence. Did I wake you up? I just came to drop of these," you lift the bags in your hand higher, " i got you your favourite soup and some medicine."

"Oh, you shouldn't have worried," he groggily says, his voice sounding sick and gestures for you to come inside.

"I know, but I wanted to. I also wanted to make sure, you were alright." You reassure him as you set the bags down in his kitchen.

"How are you feeling?" you quizz, "and don't say okay."

"Bad. One minute I'm burning and the next I'm freezing. My head hurts like a hell and honestly I feel like dying," he responds and you try not to laugh at how dramatic his last 5 words are.

"Did you take any medicine?"

"Not really, I could only find some painkillers and I feel too sick to go buy anything else."

"Well, good thing I'm here then," you smile big at him," I got all sort of medicine, so we'll have you healthy in no time."

You start to set everything out of the bags on the table and as you do, you look at Spencer, who is barely even standing looking at you. "How about you go lay down, Spence and I'll bring everything to you, yeah?"

You encourage him and he knows, that that's probably the smartest idea right now. He slowly nods and goes to lay down on the couch, which you realise, he's been laying on since he got home.

You go to him after a few minutes with the medicine and a glass of water. You find him asleep, he looks so peaceful, that you almost don't have the heart to wake him up. But you have to, he needs the medicine if he wants to get better.

You gently shake him awake and it takes him a good minute to realise, that you are in front of him.

"Hi," you giggle at him, " I'm sorry I woke you up again, Spence. I got you these," you hand him the water and the pills. He obediently swallows them and drains the whole glass of water down.

"Thank you," he yawns.

"Do you also want the soup ?" you ask and he shakes his head with a no. "Okay, but you should try to eat something later, yeah? I'll go get you some more water for now."

Before you have the chance to get far away from him, he catches your arm, "Will you stay, please?"

His question catches you off guard, you think that maybe the combination of the high temperature and the medicine kicking in make him a little delirious, because you are pretty sure he wouldn't ask you to stay otherwise. It's Spencer and he doesn't like to ask for help very often. But there's only one correct answer for you.

"Of course, I'll stay." You tell him fondly and he visibly relaxes after that and closes his eyes .

By the time you are back with another glass of water and a cold compress to lower the temperature, he is sleeping again.

Thankfully, this time you don't need to wake him up, you just put the cold washcloth on his forehead and set the glass down on the coffee table. You browse his bookshelves, looking for a good book to read. You know, that Spencer won't mind one bit you borrowing his book. So you take one that catches your eye and sit comfortably in his armchair to read it.

You read for a while and when Spencer wakes up again, he is happy to listen to you about the book (which, of course, he's read multiple times and tries hard not to give you any spoilers about it) while he sluggishly eats the soup.

He is all snuggled up in his blankets and he looks so adorable, that it's making unknown feelings bubble up in your chest. It's not just now, you've been having this kind of weird and new feelings around Spencer more and more often than you'd like to admit. You know what they mean, but you don't really want to acknowledge them. So you don't. Although, in situations like this it's hard. And it's been harder since Derek pointed these feelings out.

Before you can spiral any deeper into these thoughts, you get up to cold the washcloth again.

"Are you feeling any better, Spence?" It's been a few hours you've been with him and he appears to be a bit better.

"A little, yeah. It's only thanks to you, tho" he says and good thing you aren't near him, because you blush madly at that.

"Yeah? I'm glad," you put the washcloth under a very cold water, judging by your white fingers and the loss of feeling of them, you think it's cold enough.

You go back to Spencer and to your surprise he is not yet asleep.

"Can you lay down?" you gesture to the washcloth with a chuckle, you can't really put it on his head, when he is sitting.

"Oh, yes," he slides down the couch, 'till he is laying and you put it on his head.

"Not too cold?" you ask.

"No no, it's great thank you y/n," he sighs happily, the cold is very soothing. His eyelids close right away and even though you are having a small talk about how was work today, he manages to fall asleep. Your heart swells, you haven't seen him this tired like ever. You are glad he is resting though, he has deserved the rest for quite some time now.

You notice the clock on the wall and realise how late it is. Almost an hour after midnight, so you quietly scramble to your feet and take all of your stuff to leave. Before you do, you write him a little note, telling him where everything he needs is and that he should call you in the morning. You leave it in front of him on the coffee table, but before you go home, you do one extremely bold thing. You caringly kiss him on the top of his head, it's in a way a goodbye since you can't say anything to him. And then you dissappear out of there like a ghost.

The next morning, you oversleep and on your hurry to get to work, you almost knock over a huge bouquet of flowers that is at your door. You are a bit baffled, who is it from, but when you find the card, you know it's Spencer.

He send you the flowers as a thank you for taking care of him, saying that he hasn't been taken care of like this in a while and at that moment, you realise that you can't ignore these feelings anymore. Because he is making it impossible.

4.

It's the middle of the night, when your phone rings. You half expect it to be work, even though you are on a vacation for the week. The team has been working on a case near Quantico, so you told Hotch to call you if you were needed.

What you don't expect is the call to be from a hospital not from Hotch. In your half-asleep stage, you catch the words "Reid", "hurt", "okay" and "an emergency contact". You are up on your feet, messily throwing some clothes on you and jumping in your car, before the nurse can even hang up.

You drive to the hospital in a record time. It's a big plus, that it's the middle of the night and there are barely any cars on the road. You basically run out of the car and the nurse at the reception definitely thinks you look a bit mad. You can't blame her, youu think it too, I mean you haven't even brushed your hair or anything, so you must look like a nightmare. You ask her about Spencer and after a few seconds, she tells you where to go.

You speed-walk there and find almost the whole team there.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" Penelope questions, surprised to see you there and goes to squeeze the life out of you.

"I-I got a call from the hospital. Spencer.....I-is he okay?" you queried anxiously.

"He is okay, he is quite bruised and beaten up, but he should be fine."

"What happened and where is JJ?" you puzzle, you can't see her here.

"He was following a lead on the unsub with JJ, which resulted in them chasing him in a car and unfortunately they got hit while doing so. Thankfully, both of them are okay, just some bruises and scratches, nothing too serious," Hotch explains, " JJ is already home with Will and Henry, she was farther from the impact . They wanted to keep Spencer for observation to really make sure he is alright."

It is a weight off your heart to hear those words.

"Thank god," you say as you take a deep breath to calm your racing heart, "can i go see him?"

"Definitely, he's awake. We were just leaving, there's a lot of paperwork waiting for us at the Bau. See you on Monday, y/n." You say goodbye to everybody, on their way out Penelope huggs you and gives you a cheeky smile and you know what it means, because you've been given this look before. It's the exact teasing look, that Derek gave you not so long ago. You just roll your eyes at it and playfully push her towards the others.

You find Spencer trying to reach for his bag on the chair next to the bed.

"Spence, hi," you greet him warmly, it's relieving to hear that he is okay, but actually seeing him, it's like you can breath again. He looks alright, but he is definitely bruised, he has a black eye already forming and there's a few scratches on his face as well.

You quickly go hug him," I'm so happy, you're not hurt."

"Ouch," he winces, you probably squeezed some of his bruises.

"I'm sorry," you pull away with a sorry look.

"Y/N? How are you here? Did Garcia call you? I told her not to wake you up-" Spencer wanted you here with him, you make him feel better everytime, but he didn't want to bother you, especially not so late. He knew, you'd be here in a matter of seconds, if you'd heard that he got hurt.

"She didn't, the hospital did," you interrupt him.

"What?....Oh," he suddenly realises what you are talking about, he put you as one of his emergency contacts, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" you ask softly and sit on the side of his bed.

"For you having to come here in the middle of the night and f-for putting you on my emergency contact list."

"Of course I came, Spencer. And I don't mind one bit, that you put me on the list. I'm just glad, you're okay," you reassure him, because honestly he is being ridiculous, "I will always come whenever you need help, Spencer," you take his hand in yours to show you really do mean it.

"Still, I should have at least asked you."

"No need for that, I'm flattered that you put me on it."

"Yeah well, you are always here for me when I'm not well," he shyly admits, " I know I can rely on you."

"I feel the same about you," you smile at him," how are you feeling, huh?"

"Not bad, I think my face is the worst part of my injuries, the airbag is no joke," you agree with that.

"Don't worry about the bruises, you are still very much handsome," you don't know how this slips out of your mouth, but it does. Both yours and Spencer's cheeks go red.

"Ugh, c-can I go get you anything?" you quickly try to change the topic.

"Yes, even though it's literally 3 a.m. I'd kill for sandwiches right now." You chuckle and swiftly slip out of the room. You are trying not to feel too embarrassment about what you just said to Spencer and just focus on finding the sandwiches.

It's surprisingly easy to do so, because there's a hospital cafeteria opened. You buy him the sandwiches and also a bottle of water.

Spencer is also trying not to think too much out of you calling him handsome. He likes you, like a lot and he doesn't think he could survive the rejection. So he doesn't want to get his hopes up, he'd rather just stay your friend.

You stay with Spencer 'till he gets released, you don't mean to do that, but you fall asleep in the chair. So when you wake up, you just simply stay until he gets the release papers and then drive him home.

"Thank you y/n, i-i can't even begin to express how thankful I am," you've helped him so much lately. Like you literally helped him wash his hair when his shoulder got dislocated, you took care of him when he had a flu and now you came running to the hospital just to make sure he was okay. Hell even when he had a small paper cut months ago, you took care of him.

He also remembers you giving him a kiss on the top of his head, when he had the flu. He isn't sure if this memory is even real, because he might have been hallucinating from the high temperature. But he does hope it'd happened.

And everytime he thinks of these things, his heart actually skips a beat.

"You don't have to say anything, Spence. I'm here for you anytime," you smile at him, oh so sweetly, that he almost forgets his previous thoughts about rather staying just your friend.

"I'd like to repay you in some way-"

"No need-"

"But I want to. How about a coffee? Monday morning, it'll be on me. I know it's not much, but it's the least I can do," he proposes, " please?"

"Okay yeah, a coffee sounds nice," you give in. You helped Spencer because you wanted to not because he'd have to repay it. But if he insists on a coffee, who are you to say no.

"Yeah?" Spencer smiles, hopeful.

"Yeah, Monday morning at our favourite coffee shop."

"Great, I'll see you there." Too excited Spencer doesn't even realise what he's doing, when he quickly kisses your cheek and gets out of your car. Only when he starts to unlock his apartment door, he catches up. He freezes in terror because of what he just did.

You aren't acting too differently from him. You sit frozen in your car with a stupid smile on your face. You didn't mind the kiss one bit, but it made the already big feelings for him even worse.

It's save to say, that both of you didn't expect that and you think about it for the rest of the day, hell for the rest of the week.

+1

The team should have expected it. You should have expected it. It was clear, that you resembled the unsub's type. Same hair, same eyes, same figure and around the same age as well. You didn't think too much of it. But you should have.

Or at least you should have been more careful.

You shouldn't have gone to the shop so late, when it was already dark outside and you shouldn't have gone alone. You should have asked Spencer or somebody to go with you. This stupid mistake got you kidnapped.

You are now god knows where. You are gueasing, that it's some kind of barn. But you aren't sure, there isn't too much light coming through the wooden desks, just enough to see whether it's a day or a night. And you can't exactly go look around, when your hands are zipp tied to a metal poll.

You aren't sure what time it is, the guy comes to check in on you unfrequently, so you can't even half- guess the time.

You know, you have around 2 days to live, based on what you know about the other victims. But it could be less, especially since you are the FBI.

You are more worried about your injuries, tho. Of course, he hurt you and not lightly. You've definitely lost a lot of blood. You are still bleeding pretty badly from your thigh, he stabbed you there with a sick pleased grin.

But you are not going to give him the satisfaction of breaking you down, never. You are just waiting for the right moment. You think you have enough energy left in you to break out of the zip tie and try to get far enough from him. So you wait until it gets dark outside again, even monsters can't stay up all the time.

The team on the other hand is nonstop looking for you. Spencer was the one who discovered you were missing and since then he hasn't even had one thought about anything else other than finding you.

Hotch's ordered everybody an hour long break, but Spencer doesn't want or need a break, he needs to find you.

"Spencer, come on we're taking a break," Derek says, him and Spencer are alone in the room, everyone else went to the local policy's cafeteria already.

"No, thanks. I'm fine to continue," Spencer says shortly.

"Don't be stupid, you need to-"

"What I need is to find y/n." Spencer cuts him off, raising his voice a little.

"Look Spencer, i understand. I want to find her as much as you do, but we won't be able to do that, if we can't even think clearly from the exhaustion," Derek tells him calmly, he knows how much Spencer cares about you, like more than a friend, so he gets his frustration.

"No, you don't understand," he argues," I-I can't loose her, I can't. We'd tried this before and she- I can't.....not.....-not again," he quaveres, putting his head into his hands. He'd gone through this situation once before and he's not doing the same mistake again. Especially with you, with you it feels somehow even worse.

"You won't," Derek insists, " listen to me Soencer. We will find and we will save her and when we do that, you will finally tell her how you feel."

"Now get up, we're getting some food into you and then we save y/n," he doesn't really give him a choice this time and pushes him towards the door. Spencer goes, but his mind is on you and the case the entire time.

It's much later, when the team has a breathrough in the case and Penelope works her magic, and finds a man that fits the unsub's description perfectly. It takes the team only a few seconds, before they are in the car, driving quickly through the night roads to get to you.

You patiently endure the hours 'till it gets dark outside. And when it does and you are sure, he's not coming back anymore, you yank your hands hard. You do it multiple times, hands bleeding and you get it snapped.

You waste no time from there, you get up on your legs, which appears to be much harder than you thought. You probably underestimated how much blood you've lost, because with every step you take you feel like passing out. But you push through it, you open the door, look around and when you think, that everything is clear, you take off.

You, unfortunately, don't get too far. A set of headlights appears in your vision, so you hide behind the first decent thing you see. You are still quiet close to the barn. You don't know if it's the unsub or somebody else, but you take no chances with whoever it is. You stay hidden and quickly look for something to protect yourself with, you find a big enough rock and decide, that it's good improvisation for a weapon.

You close your eyes, trying to will the dizziness away and in the meanwhile you completely miss, that it's actually 2 cars and not one.

What gets you to open your eyes again is a sound of gunshots and a lot of shouting. You think, you hear a familiar voices, but you stay hidden, not wanting to risk anything.

"Did you find her?" Hotch asks. Him, Spencer and Rossi searched the house and everybody else the barn.

"She's not there, " Derek replies.

"What? She has to be here, she has to" Spencer says desperately. He can't have gotten this far, just to not find you.

"But we found a broken zip tie and a pretty large puddle of blood," Derek sighs. Everybody's worry increases after hearing that.

"Yeah, it looks fresh, if it's y/n's she can't be far," JJ adds.

"Wait, you said, there's a big puddle of blood. How can we even know she's alive?" Spencer says upset. He isn't far from losing his mind.

"Spencer-"

"No, i-i.... how can we fucking find her here? This property is like 15,5 hectares. And we can't even know if he has done anything to her, because he's dead. We could be searching whole night and she will bleed out by then, well if she is even still alive. So how? How?!" Spencer knows, that it's nobody's fault, but his frustration is getting the best of him.

"We'll get the dogs, they will find her quickly-" All this intense arguing makes you curious, so you start to listen closely. At first, you think, that it's the guy talking, but the more you listen, you realise it's not him. You know that voice, it's your Spencer, it's your team. They are here, they have found you.

"Spence?" It's so quiet that Spencer almost misses it, but he's so alert right now, that he couldn't miss it even if he'd tried.

His head immediately snaps in your direction and he swears, he could cry, when he sees you there.

You call out his name again, this time in such a relief, but taking 2 steps towards him, you collapse. The blood loss finally got to you. You see Spencer sprint to you, with the team on his heels and then everything goes black.

You end up unconscious in the hospital for 2 days. You've lost too much blood and when the doctor started to name all your injuries, Spencer actually had to walk out of the room before he could have gotten sick.

He's stayed with you almost all 2 days, except when JJ kicked him out, saying he needs a shower and some sleep. But besides that, he's stayed by your side the whole time. He read you books, fluffed your pillows, just did everything he could to make sure you were comfortable.

He's sitting next to your bed, reading, when you wake up. Spencer notices you waking up, because his hand is holding yours and he feels it move.

"Hey hey hey, " he greets you softly as you open your eyes.

You blink, baffled at him and try to sit up. He carefully pushes you back, which you protest against, "wha-"

"Don't move sweetheart, yeah?" he pushes a few fallen strands away from your eyes and adds,"I'm going to get a doctor, I'll be right back, I promise." And with that he's gone.

He comes back after the doctor does all of the checks to make sure you are okay. He sits in the chair again and unconsciously takes your hand in his again as he tells you everything that happened.

You give him a small smile and with a raspy voice, you tell him," Thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving me, i-i knew, you'd come," there wasn't a single moment, where you thought he wouldn't.

"You don't even know how worried I was. I-I thought, I had lost you," he fretted.

"I'm sorry," you apologise sadly, you stupid mistake, made everyone so worried.

"None of that, it's not your fault. I'm just happy you're okay, we all are. I called Penelope, they are on their way here," Spencer states and then there's a silence between you two. But by looking at Spencer, you know he wants to say something else, he's got a look, that you know well. It's the look he has, when he wants to tell you about something interesting, but doesn't want to bore you with his rambling.

"What is it?"

"Nothing..." it's definitely not nothing.

"Come on, spill it," you chuckle, but his serious face makes your smile drop, "what? Did something bad happen?"

"I-I-I just....-fuck, this is harder then i thought it would be" he mumbles. "I love you, y/n. I've been in love with you since the day you looked my way and it only got worse and worse with every smile or a laugh or a conversation or when you took care of me," Spencer blurts all this out.

"I cannot keep this secret any longer, because it's killing. It's killing me that I can't call you mine and that-that I can't protect you all the time, because I want to. So badly."

" i knkw this a lot, especially now. But you don't have to say anything. I totally understand if the feelings aren't mutual-"

"-Spencer,"you interrupt him, but he doesn't seem to realise it.

"I just had to tell you this, because I'd never forgive myself if I hadn't told you. I'm sor-"

"Spencer!" You cut him off, this time more louder. He looks at you like a lost puppy, just waiting for whatever words of rejection, you'll tell him.

But those words never come," just kiss me already," you huff (affectionately).

He's never wanted anything else more, but he doesn't want to hurt you, " i want to, i really want to, but your injuries.....I don't want to hurt you."

"Spence, just kiss me," you are embarrassingly close to begging at this point, but Spencer fortunately doesn't let that happen.

He very very cautiously leans in and kisses you. And you eagerly kiss him back and not so tentatively pull him closer to you. Your whole body feels like it's on fire, but you ignore it, there's only one thing on your mind and that's how nice it finally feels to be kissed by Spencer and how soft his lips are.

You pull apart after a few seconds and there's this stupid grin on both of your faces.

"Does this mean you also-"

"Oh god, Spence," you laugh at him," of course, I'm in love with you. How could I not be? You're so smart, so kind, so honest, so mindful and so caring. It's honestly impossible not to fall for you."

"Oh, good," he bashfully replies, " otherwise this would have been awkward," he jokes.

"You're such an idiot, come here," you pull him by his sweater for another kiss, happy to finally be able to do that.

-

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