enjoy your stay at beacon hills

what's better than ultra? mega ultra. if you have an arson problem please seek help we are not specialists. disgruntled citizens

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

I saw Henry Tate laying steel-jawed bear traps around the forest behind our house. I called the police, but they hung up on me. I would like to file a formal complai

Diane Felton, we hung up on her, she’s stupid Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

They think I don't know. But I know. This is some straight up white boy Matthew Perry romance movie shit. I ain't havin' none of it. I'm out. I quit.

Jason Grimes, was the Janitor at Beacon Hills High but is now pursuing a career in beatboxing under the name Phuck Itall. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

One time I saw Scott McCall punch Jackson Whittemore's locker door off. When he walked away I stole most of Whittemore's stuff. I sold his watch for like six hundred dollars. I don't care how much McCall and his friends fuck up the school as long as I keep benefiting from it.

- some asshole who cares Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Okay, so, I bought my friend Jen a plant to celebrate her graduation. Cool of me, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Jen is great. I'm happy she graduated. But like, I went to go see her today and when I opened the door to her place I saw her sitting in the middle of her floor chanting stuff like "COMFY SWEATER DEREK GIVE ME THE FANFIC I WANT THE FANFICS MOLES LIGHTHOUSES SENSUAL LICKS. GIVE ME THE FANFIC. I WANT THE FANFICS." And wouldn't you know that she was chanting this over my plant. Which was on FIRE. What the hell Jen? Should I report her?

Madison Grenotta, concern friend, spent the last of her well earned sex tape money on that plant and is now super bummed ANONYMOUS 

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

One time I tried to take my hamster to the vet but there was no one at the front desk so I peeked into the back and there were some teenagers and the vet drowning some other teenagers in metal bathtubs. I left my hamster on the counter in her cage. I hope that's ok.

- Annette Delaney, aspiring pyrotechnician, once got punched in the face by Lydia Martin Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Evyr bidy think Deptuy Parrisg so HPT well he wASN"T SO HOT BEFORE HE MOVED TO BEACOHON HILL AND,i"m the only one who evere loved you ryan,,your jar of heahrts. come bacj

- Riley Carey, potentially jilted ex, maybe just has a lot of feelings Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

I got on the wrong flight. I'm not in London. I'm in Nicaragua. My life has improved so much. I'm so happy. No one tell McCall.

- Jackson Whittemore, used to live in Beacon Hills i think? Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

I think it's cool that the nurses at the hospital are allowed to go barefoot and show off their wicked pedicures. It's very liberal of them.

- Nina Schneebly, very closeted lesbian Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

On Wednesdays we wear blue and orange. Wednesdays are “Derek Day”. We just sit in a big circle, share knitting patterns, and talk about “dat ass”. Karen, honey, did I say that right?

Willow Smith, grandmother of Karen Smith, resident of Beacon Hills Retirement Home, and no, she does not whip her hair back and forth. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Hale yeah!

Cynthia Parrish, Derek Hale aficionado, vice president of Beacon Hills Retirement Home knitting club, and Gertrude’s go to lesbian fling. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

"Save a Horse, Ride a Hale" is how the Big & Rich song was originally written. Am I right ladies?

Gertrude McIntire, country aficionado and president of Beacon Hills Retirement Home knitting club. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Derek Hale? Any relation to Rosalie and Jasper Hale? He obviously must be with that bone structure. I mean, Hale-o!

Jessica Stanley, Forks, WA transplant that is seriously convinced she knows everybody and everything. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Okay, is nobody else concerned with the fact that BHHS hires new principals faster than Lydia Martin turns down Stiles Stilinski? I’d like to know how Allison Argent’s grandfather, who handed me a taser before Spring Formal, got that job.

Beatrice Lo, gossip columnist for Cyclone Chat Online School Paper that actually had to use the taser on Greenberg because that guy is extremely handsy. ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Do we even have a fire department?

John Tanner, spent his life practicing to become a firefighter and is now confused. ANONYMOUS 

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

Okay so like I live next door to that McCall kid and like shit keeps going down over there like I used to hear screaming and chains rattling and I swear I’ve seen something creeping around on the roof and then like a couple weeks back there were these wispy-lookin dudes with swords hanging around and I’m pretty sure that the McCalls are being haunted, someone should see if they’re okay maybe? Shit looks like, The Conjuring levels of creepy, yo.

Kellen Fritz, has been aggressively stealing Melissa McCall's coupons by mail for six years ANONYMOUS

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

My main demographic for heavy duty chains in the last two years or so has been teenage boys. I would call their parents to make sure they're not doing anything dangerous, but they're the reason I was able to weatherproof my windows last January.

- Royce Earl, runs the hardware store, has started buying ads in the high school newspaper Anonymous

[megaultrateenwolfconfessions]

What the fuck is up with people's eyes in this town? Like for real though.

Jake Dame, has a ridiculous collection of optometry porn (because apparently that exists) ANONYMOUS