Memorophilia

Irksome Nostalgia

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Level-design sketches for the Highlands Hopalong stage I made in the SMBX game Super Talking Time Bros. 2.5:

https://rpgmaker.net/games/5255/

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A sprite I made in 2012 of a robot girl for a game concept. I ended up scrapping it because I wanted to go for a more cartoon-ish look.

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A drawing I did in 2004 that ended up being the best thing I drew for years by virtue of just being far more detailed than most things I normally drew. The reason is simple. I drew it while parked in my car to pick up my brother from work, but he ended up getting off late, so I just kept adding to it until he finally showed up.

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The remains of the map for a tabletop RPG campaign I played with my friends from roughly 1998-2002. It survived a lot!

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Some sketches I did when trying to work out the appearance I wanted for a character for a novel. None of them ended up quite giving the vibe I wanted, but after sketching them all, I had a pretty good idea what the final design needed to be.

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2008: Culture Clash

I'm gonna' tear it apart,  and then I'll make a fresh start, I'm gonna' dive right into the very heart  of the matter-of-fact or fiction, My rendition of our friction  without all your omisions.

Bloody Mary, Queen Elizabeth,  government and god professorate. A desert rose loved me, loves me not,  even ambrosia scorned succumbs to rot.

Loneliness caught me unawares,  Try to share the pain but noone really cares. Loneliness comes on like a thief,  I know that there's no cure, but there can be relief.

I won't repent for my self-centered intent,  I'm too much the nihilist to see the pathos in this.

You're not the one that broke my heart,  it was broken from the very start. Yeah my heart's been breakin' ever since square one,  you're just the latest thing to bring me undone.

But she tore out one more little stitch,  that witch, that fucking bitch.

Loneliness caught me by surprise,  I try to share the pain but that shit never flies. Loneliness cut me to the quick,  I could try to learn to settle, but that thought makes me sick.

My cutesy koibito can't handle her libido,  a therapeutic theory for heartbreak harakiri. I never knew my gnosis before apotheosis,  we were so fucking quixotic that it's practically psychotic.

A poem/song assembled from various pieces of poems/songs I scribbled after a break-up in 2008. Definitely the angriest one I ever wrote.

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When first moving into digital art, I had a brief period in which I just pasted my finished drawings onto photo backgrounds. Thankfully, I think I only had 5 or 6 pictures I ever did it with. I was mostly experimenting with shading on this one, but kept running into problems due to not knowing my software, and got fed up and left it as is, though I actually still felt proud of it at the time...

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I flipped through my mountains of notebooks looking for random scribbles, and this is the first one I happened upon. I think I’ve actually drawn that gentlemanly caterpillar several times now. Also featuring sunbeam-vomiting sun, madame octopus, an eggplant, and a bumble buzz. This could’ve been drawn anywhere between 2007-2012 as its notebook had a long life.

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One of my early attempts at a 100% digital image after I got my first drawing tablet. I drew it for an artist prompt on a forum with a theme of “creating.” I’ve always kind of liked the idea of simple wooden and gear-based toys, probably from childhood memories of Santa Clause the Movie (1985).

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A short comic I drew in... early 1994, I suspect? I’d drawn similar comics before with characters just named what they were, like “Knight” and “Wizard,” but wanted to be more serious with this one, so actually named the characters. I gave it to my mom to submit to a children’s book competition, and was angry when a few weeks later I discovered she’d just stuffed it into a dresser drawer for safe-keeping. Obviously, she made the right choice in retrospect. I recall the frog’s “lightning jump” was inspired by my misunderstanding a scene in the movie Krull (1983).

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A pic from 2010 of a shoujo ai couple of mine I was drawing a lot at the time. This was from my phase when I was finally starting to do digital coloring a lot, but was still experimenting a lot with different techniques using digital tools. One of the last few things I inked before scanning, shortly before moving on to rarely doing that anymore. You may recognize this as the couple playing video games in an old pocket notebook drawing I uploaded.

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One of my first few experiments with animation beyond pixel art. Made in 2011, around when I was just beginning to regularly make a lot of animated GIF images. Huge problems abound, both animation-wise, and just in a general art sense. The music is “Dancing Behind My Eyelids” by múm.

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During my peak King of Fighters fandom in 2005, in response to someone talking about May Lee and Kula Diamond playing volleyball, I made this image. I used a basketball form Lucky Glauber’s KoF ‘98 animations just to be funny. The person’s response was heavy complaint about how pale Kula was, despite my using the pallette she had in the game.  

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Someone on Tumblr was asking for coloring book style images of Marvel’s Black Widow in 2015, so I drew this one. I’m pretty happy with it, aside from wishing I’d put a mild bit more effort into the background. Mostly a guard along the floor and maybe some vertical electrical conduit on the left.

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20090522 - The Needy One

Two become one and then two again, Nothing changed, but neither the same, Somehow left wishing the other never came.   And you're with your friends, and they're defacing my name,   It was never too good, but just the same,   I may have broke us up, but you were the one that changed.

But, hey, girl, there's no need to be flustered - I'm not sayin' that you're to blame;   You were always too giving to know that I was the needy one. But, 'member all the courage you mustered for each epic digit dialed towards my telephone,   And I know that it wasn't the cold that made you tremble as I walked you home.

First advances never come plain, Desires diplomatically explained, Left wishing you were laying with another when you came.   But you reach my bed through your charms and your pleas;   After the passion passes there's the peace;   And you want all that remains, but I only want release.

But, hey, girl, there's no need to be flustered - I'm not sayin' you should feel ashamed;   You were always too giving to know that I was the easy one. But, 'member all the hopes entrusted in each act ensuring you would be the one I chose,   And God knows that it wasn't my warmth that had you sweatin' as I pulled you close.

New loves are quick to grow old and grey, The feelings flare, flicker, fade away, Tomorrow's never quite bright as yesterday.   Or was this routine what you wanted from the start?   Love's settled ennui, the calm simple part;   But all my love was for the anxiety in your heart.

But, hey, girl, there's no need to be flustered - I'm not sayin' that I made it plain;   I was always too cautious to show that I was the needy one. But, 'member the way I've loved and lusted after every tentative advance you've shown,   And you'll know that it wasn't the dark that had me crying when you left me alone.

Song lyrics I wrote in 2009. The song was about somebody seeming infatuated with you, being drawn in by that infatuation, and then frustration when that person grows cold or indifferent once they finally win you over.

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My one and only effort made using oil paints, done in 2008. To be fair, I had about an hour to work with, and oil paints are notorious for needing time for the layers to dry, so I was doomed from the start working with a new medium. I was also painting on plain notebook paper? What I’m saying is, no matter how bad it turned out, I don’t feel responsible. The character here is one of my personal favorites of mine.

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A sketch I drew on my 7th grade English folder. I kept the folder long after because I felt at the time that it was the best thing I’d ever drawn. I suppose it was better than most of my output at the time, but it illustrates a lot of the strange blend of Marvel comic and anime style I was using at the time. This character was meant to be a monster hunter for hire in a horror setting. The song “Witches” by Switchblade Symphony pops into my mind the instant I see this image, cementing it’s 90′s presence. Drawn in 1998.