Meredith & Olivia Posts

Meredith and Olivia's adventures come to life in reposts from @BrittanyAlexis on The Swift Life app...

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: Awe, Kitten fell asleep cuddling with you.

Meredith: Will you shut up, I’m trying to watch the end of the movie. 

Olivia: It’s not like you don’t know how it ends. They aren’t even saying anything important. *munches on popcorn*

Meredith: Sometimes you’re the opposite of cute.

Olivia: *pauses* But that means you think I’m cute some of the time-

Meredith: Shut up.

Olivia: YOU THINK I’M CUTE!

Kitten: *yawns* Mere?

Meredith: Ignore her. Go back to sleep, she’s talking nonsense. 

Olivia: *sings* YOU THINK I’M CUTE! YOU THINK I’M CUTE!

*cat fight ensues*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: “So you mean the Stone’s only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?” said Hermione in alarm. “It’ll be gone by next Tuesday,” said Ron.” *Meredith shuts the book*

Kitten: *snores*

Meredith: I think that’s enough for one night. 

Olivia: *whines* Nooooooo.... one more chapter.

Meredith: Seriously, Kitten is asleep, the story is for-

Olivia: *begs* Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeee.....

Meredith: *huffs* Oh, alright... *opens the book back up and searches for the page* Right so, Chapter 14...

Olivia: *snores*

Meredith: Seriously?

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: *sighs* I’m bored.

Kitten: *mews*

Olivia: See, Kitten is bored too.

Meredith: *grumbles* So why don’t you go entertain yourselves somewhere else. I’m trying to take a nap.

Olivia: You know, we still haven’t named Kitten... I was thinking Xavier.

Meredith: What?

Olivia: It’s a cool name, and I-

Meredith: No. 

Olivia: What do you think, Kitten?

Kitten: ... Nope.

Meredith: *laughs*

Olivia: *throws pillow at Meredith and runs off*

Meredith: *looks at Kitten* I was serious about taking a nap. I’m not playing with you.

Kitten: *sad eyes* Mere?

Meredith: Don’t... Don’t do that. That’s not... That’s not fair, I-

Kitten: *sad mews and pouts*

Meredith: Ugh, fine. I’ll play with you.

Kitten: Mere!

Meredith: *sighs and grumbles* I just wanted a nap...

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: *hums “King of My Heart” while finishing her decorations. Meredith and Kitten walk in*

Meredith: Woah... What is all of this... Why is my Red House in here?

Olivia: Cause I’m decorating for Valentine’s Day!

Meredith: *hesitantly* Who’s all of this for exactly?

Olivia: Joe, of course!

Meredith: *exchanges glances with Kitten* Umm... Olivia, you know he’s Mom’s boyfriend, right?

Olivia: . . .

Kitten: Dibs?

Olivia: . . . I know. . .

Meredith: You are out of control.

Olivia: I CAN’T HELP IT, HE’S-

Meredith: DON’T! SAY! IT!

Olivia: SOGORGEOUSICANTSAYANYTHINGTOHISFACE!!!

Meredith: *lunges for Olivia... misses*

Olivia: *already running away* AND ALL AT ONCE HE IS THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!

Meredith: *chases Olivia*

Kitten: *laughs*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: MEREDITH! THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS THE BEST VACATION EVER!!!

Meredith: Yeah, about that... When I said that I wanted to go on vacation-

Olivia: LOOK AT THESE FLOATS!!! THEY ARE SO COOL! MEREDITH!!! THE BEES!!!

Meredith: *ignores and continues* I did NOT beam I wanted to go on vacation WITH YOU.

Olivia: THEY’RE THROWING SHINY THINGS!!! *runs off*

Meredith: CAN YOU NOT?!?! *chases after her*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: DON’T BLAME ME, THE CANDY MADE ME CRAZY! IF IT DOESN’T YOU AIN’T DOING IT RIGHT!

Meredith: Please stop.

Olivia: LORD, SAVE ME, MY CANDY IS MY BABY. I’LL BE USING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

Taylor: *to Meredith* She tricked you into going into a candy bar again, didn’t she?

Meredith: What?! What’s that?! Sorry, Mom! Can’t hear you ove my headphones!

Taylor: *sighs*

Kitten: *mews*

Taylor: At least you’re behaving.

Olivia: MOM CAN I SING WITH YOU ON TOUR?!?!?! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!?!?!

Meredith: Olivia, please stop talking.

Taylor: ... So who’s ready to start rehearsing?!

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY!

Meredith: Do you have to sing it every time?

Olivia: YOUR JOBS A JOKE, YOU’RE BROKE, YOUR LOVE LIFE’S D.O.A.

Meredith: We’ve been binging this all day, can you just-

Olivia: *shaking Meredith* IT’S LIKE YOU’RE ALWAYS STUCK IN SECOND GEAR!!!

Meredith: Please let go. I should have told Netflix to skip the intro-

Olivia: WHEN IT HASN’T BEEN YOUR DAY, YOUR WEEK, YOUR MONTH, OR EVEN YOUR YEAR, BUT... *looks at Meredith expectantly*

Meredith: *sighs and reluctantly sings* I’ll be there for you...

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: Okay, so I have called you here today to talk to you about something important-

Meredith: *sighs* What is it this time?

Olivia: Well, I was thinking, shouldn’t we come up with a name for Kitten?

Meredith: Pretty sure that’s Mom’s job-

Olivia: Yeah, but she’s been busy prepping for Rep Tour. 

Meredith: So I guess this means you have ideas?

Olivia: YES!

Meredith: But shouldn’t we ask Kitten what it wants to be called?

Kitten: *stares*

Olivia: Kitten knows three words. Mere, Nope, and-

Kitten: DIBS!!!

Olivia: *sighs* So I was thinking “Winter”... What do you think Kitten?

Kitten: *stares*

Meredith: I don’t think it actually has any idea what we’re talking about.

Kitten: Mere!

Olivia: *groans*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: All I wanted to do was watch TV-

Olivia: I SAID “NO” KITTY! THOSE ARE OUR CHEESEBURGERS!

Meredith: Just hang out on the couch-

Olivia: YOU ALREADY ATE! I SAW GRANDMA FEED YOU!

Meredith: Instead I get to deal with this insanity-

Olivia: *swings pillow* BACK YOU BEAST! BACK I SAY!

Meredith: *to Kitten* Every time Kitty comes over, the two of them fight over the food. *sighs* Forget it, let’s order takeout and watch in my room.

Olivia: YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY CHEESEBURGERS!!!

Kitten: Dibs?

Meredith: Forget about her, she’s hopeless.

Olivia: MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: MEREDITH!!!!!

Meredith: *storms into the bathroom* I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU AND KITTEN TO TAKE A BATH TEN MINUTES AGO-

Olivia: THE WATER IS RED IN THE BATHTUB!!!

Meredith: So... Why are you in it?

Olivia: WHAT IF SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED?!

Meredith: Will you relax, Mom spilled wine in the bathtub again last night. There’s a bottle right here.

Olivia: But I thought Joe was over-

Meredith: Olivia... Not in front of the kitten.

Olivia: Oh.

Kitten: *questioning mew*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Kitten:.. DIBS!!!

Olivia: *sighs* Good morning, Kitten. Morning, Mere.

Meredith: *waves paw*

Olivia: What are you listening to?... Meredith, what are you listening to?!... MERE?!

Kitten: MERE!

Meredith: *pulls off headphones* I’m listening to the ten minute version of “All Too Well”.

Olivia: What...

Meredith: Yeah, while you were out last night, Kitten found Mom’s old phone and-

Olivia: AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!

Meredith: Dibs, you stumbled home last night and passed out in Kitten’s room during story time. 

Olivia: YES I REMEMBER! YOU WERE PRETENDING LIKE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO READ HARRY POTTER WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU DO-

Meredith: Then I tried to wake you up and you scratched me-

Olivia: YOU STILL COULD HAVE TOLD ME!

Meredith: Would listening to it make you feel better?

Olivia: No!!! Yes!!! I DON’T KNOW LEAVE ME ALONE *storms off*

Kitten: *sad mew*

Meredith: I know, right? And she says I’m dramatic. 

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: *reading* “...There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.” *closes book* Well, I think that’s enough for one night-

Olivia: *snores*

Kitten: *snores*

Meredith: How long was I reading to myself?... *shrugs and goes back to reading*

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: Oh no, Olivia! It’s a Dalek! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! SAVE YOURSELF!!!

Olivia: *runs out of the room screaming*

Meredith: *puts paper down and chuckles* Good job, Kitten. I knew that box reminded me of something.

Kitten: *muffled* Mere. 

Meredith: Yeah, I’ll keep you.

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: Okay, Kitten. Now repeat after me. Oh-live-e-ah...

Kitten: Mere. 

Olivia: *throws up her paws in frustration* UGH!!!

Meredith: Your name is too hard for the kitten to say. Kitten, try this, say Dibbles-

Olivia: NOOOOOO-

Kitten: Dibs.

Meredith: Close enough!

Olivia: *glares at Meredith* Why.

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Olivia: *whispers* Mere, I think I forgot something...

Meredith: SHHH... This is the best part-

Olivia: But I think it was something important...

Meredith: *sniffs* Do you smell smoke?

Olivia: THE POPTARTS!!!!

Meredith: WHY ARE YOU BAKING WHILE WE ARE WATCHING A MOVIE?!

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: YOU’RE WATCHING ONCE UPON A TIME WITHOUT ME?!

Olivia: Binging it, actually.

Kitten: Mere!

Meredith: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D SHOW KITTEN THIS SHOW WITHOUT ME-

Olivia: Relax, Killian hasn’t shown up yet. We’re at the end of season 1. We were just about to call you. 

Meredith: Oh... Okay, then.

Olivia: *rewinds the episode* Be quiet and eat a taco.

Kitten: Mere!

[meredithandoliviaposts]

Meredith: You two are getting along well.

Olivia: We’ve been having fun baking! Right, Kitten?

Kitten: Mere!

Meredith: So what did you make this time? *steals a poptart*

Olivia: Well, Mom left her phone open again-

Meredith: *exchanges glances with Kitten* Yeah, sure she did.

Olivia: And on TSL today, everyone was talking about potatoes and poptarts, so we made sweet potato poptarts!

Meredith: Are they any good?

Kitten: Nope!

Olivia: OF COURSE THEY ARE GOOD! DON’T LISTEN TO KITTEN! THEY ARE THE SWEETEST POTATO POPTARTS EVER!!!!

Meredith: *hesitantly bites into one*

Olivia: *watches with anticipation*

Meredith: *spits* The Kitten was right. 

Olivia: WHAT?!?!

Meredith: This is straight up potato... You weren’t making these for Joe were you?

Olivia: . . . 

Meredith: You can just make other poptarts with something else right?

Olivia: . . . 

Meredith: Kitten, you might want to run away now.

Olivia: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!