fourteen (live)
tw : implied SH, SA, gender dysphoria
this writing is based on MY headcanons of the characters I was inspired by. I am not trying to imply canon. these are simply MY headcanons
author disclaimers / notes at bottom
----------
he may be an idol, he may be on your screen
but he's just a kid, he's just fourteen
and doing something he enjoys
he learned he could sing
he learned he could dance
and people still saw him as a boy
he can sing, he can dance
he can twirl, he can prance
he can do it all in a pretty skirt
he can be girly all he wants
he can be confident and flaunt
and no one questions 'him', not a chirp
he could sing and he could dance
at home, but it made him feel inapt
everytime that they uttered a 'she'
so on a stage, before a crowd
who saw a boy, yelled it proud
made him feel like he was able to breathe
so he'll sing and he'll dance
the audience is in a trance
he and his sister are the duo of your dreams
but what he doesnt quite know
is there's a few watching the show
that want him to perform something with steam
they want him to sing, want him to dance
but not on stage, they'd have no chance
they want him private, rid the safety of his venue
he's seen the comments, seen the looks
they want him nude, coat on a hook
they see him like they see an ingénue
he still likes to sing, he still likes to dance
but his sister can only stare with askance
as someone decides to throw their garments on stage
he can convince himself it's fine
but he knows those dont fit his waistline
and theyre from someone of a much higher age
he sings and he can dance
they see that he's happy, he has a chance
to be innocent, shy, perfect as can be
he's a 'shota', he's young
he's small, he can be slung
over a shoulder, no fight, no breaking free
he will sing and he will dance
convinced that ignoring it will make it pass
if he doesn't give them attention, they'll leave
but wishful thinking doesn't work
when simply wearing clothes is a flirt
to the VIP section taking peeks
his sister can sing and she can dance
without someone giving her a glance
that implies that they fantasize her baring sin
because she's the opposite, he thought
she was born a boy, so she has naught
for them to fetishize and fantasize and spin
he could sing and he could dance
he felt supported, felt like he had a chance
to be seen as 'him', without proof, without shame
but when they boiled him down
to a porn category that they browse
suddenly that pain was back, just the same
so while he sings and he dances
he questions his path, he romances
the idea of quitting and forever leaving the show
but his sister, she'd be alone
they've been a duo, they were clones
mirror images of each other, souls sewn
so he continues to sing and dance
but if theyre mirrors, why doesn't she have
the same people hounding after her third base?
what was different about him
that his voice was like a hymn
to gather all the freaks in one place?
he wants to sing, he wants to dance
but the older idols, he has to ask
how can they deal with this and not go mad
and the horror on his face
could never be erased
when he learns that they get nothing this bad
because he likes to sing and likes to dance
he feels abused, he feels harassed
he knows they're undressing him with their eyes
he's wearing pants, he's burning skirts
he's covering up, he doesn't rehearse
he no longer feels safe outside of a hearse
he used to sing, he used to dance
but now simply moving from his bed is a task
he wants everyone to forget that he exists
his sister's fine, she's still the queen
dancing wild, dancing free
while he's covering marks on his wrists
he wishes he could sing and he could dance
without eyes on their tracks
across his chest, across his thighs, across the space
between his legs, the only thing
making him feel innocent and clean
being the knowledge that he'd never been physically defaced
and in the end he's still fourteen
once an idol, now never seen
he cannot stand his voice from the screen
because he knows that all they see
is their non-con fantasy
and in his bed he is still just a teen
--------------
hiii i write amateur poetry and i dont know what im doing but I had some shit i needed to get out and also I was mad at people being purposefully pedophilic toward Len Kagamine as if its not super easy to just.. create a version of him where he's older. yes this is based on Len yes his sister is Rin vocaloid fandom please dont eat me i know they're not canonly siblings but this is how i headcanon them. they are both transgender also. and I know trans women get fetishized a LOT but in this case Rin is not being treated as terribly as Len
