Today's Document
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occasionally subtle
if i look back, i am lost
RMH
blake kathryn
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ā£ Chile in a Photography ā£
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Discoholic šŖ©
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@missyraines
squash
back bent peering in in further black soil overlapping bones made of fragile green and yellow
inside the quiet under world smells deepen sounds fade time thickens red face unnoticed satisfaction
during this pandemic summer, Iāve put in a garden.Ā Perhaps the first garden in maybe 10 years.Ā I wrote this during that time.Ā thought Iād share again.Ā May need to put some music to it.Ā I have the time...
Treading Water
I swim laps. A mostly self-taught swimmer, I enjoy just about every moment of being in the water.Ā Through a series of trial and error, I have figured out the best times to get to the pool at my local YMCA and get my laps in when the pool is mostly empty and I can have a lane mostly to myself.Ā Ā
But some days someone changes up their routine to ruin mine.Ā And then the lanes get crowded.Ā So when this happens Iāve taken to going to the deep end and running in place- or as they say, treading water.Ā
Iāve read that treading water is as good, if not better, for you than laps, and if youāve ever done it for more than a couple of minutes you can believe that.Ā I can definitely tell Iāve done something after 20 minutes of running in the water.Ā Ā
Recently, I found myself in the deep end again and started thinking about it.Ā Ā
We use the metaphor āIām just treading waterā mostly in a negative way to imply that weāre not getting anywhere, weāre not moving forward, that weāre just keeping our heads up, keeping our heads from - well, drowning.Ā Ā
But then I started thinking about it the another way.Ā While I miss the feeling of the water rushing past me as I swim, the satisfaction of motion, and the accomplishment of another lap behind me, I couldnāt help but think that sometimes ājust treading waterā can be just as powerful.Ā Ā
At the end of the day, if you are keeping yourself from drowning isnāt that a good thing?Ā isnāt that worth something?Ā Isnāt that a good day?Ā
Some days treading water is enough and something to be grateful for.
#treadingwater #survival #lossĀ
Pansies
These are pansies.Ā A hardy, tenacious flower.Ā I planted these in late October last year.Ā They spent the entire winter outdoors completely unprotected and uncovered.Ā Granted,Tennessee is fairly moderate but it got into the single digits on multiple occasions and during those times these beautiful yellow flowers were shriveled and shrunken but not destroyed.Ā The gold temporarily gone but the green still showing as a defiant signal to the world that there was more to them than just the fragile buds.Ā Ā
I always plant pansies in the fall because I know they will survive the winter and along the way they will provide a beautiful respite to the grey winter landscape.Ā Ā
As spring is exploding around me,Ā I watch these flowers grow bolder and healthier each day and I couldnāt help but draw a comparison to myself and to life in general.Ā Ā We all weather shit every day.Ā Some days, only the strongest part of ourselves shows up while we keep our most fragile blooms safe.Ā We keep a part of ourselves close, to rest and to heal, we keep a part of ourselves hidden and quiet with the hope that we can open up again.Ā We look to open up again in the warmth of the spring sun.Ā We look to be thriving again, to show no sign of wear, to flourish again.Ā Ā
As I grapple with loss and the feel of a long, cold winter in my bones, Iām inspired by this little flower called pansy.Ā Ā
the Ides of March
So Iāve been away from posting here for a long time.Ā With a very small (yet fabulous) team, sometimes things just fall between the cracks. The āto doāsā get put on lists and sometimes get perpetually moved to the next list, and then the next, and so on.Ā To just sit and write oneās thoughts with the idea that every one and any one may read them is daunting.Ā So, Iāve been away for a long time.Ā But today, Iām writing and trying not to edit much.Ā Partly because I need to write and partly because editing takes time.Ā I need to write today because not writing is keeping me from getting through today.Ā Ā
This is my family.Ā Iām the one holding the guitar.Ā My sister, Barb, is holding me. I lost her last week.Ā I have posted about this on Facebook and I am SO grateful for the many, many, many folks who have offered their love and prayers and support.Ā It has been a great comfort.Ā I am not posting again to solicit more response or with any expectation- just simply because I canāt seem to move forward without doing something more.Ā Ā
Till yesterday, I havenāt had the heart to post about anything.Ā I still donāt have the heart but, Unfortunately, my work depends on a certain amount of social media time, so I āput on my big girl pants, rolled up my sleevesā and went in.Ā Ā
I know the pain will grow less intenseĀ but will never go away completely.Ā This is not my first loss.Ā In fact, Iāve lost everyone in this photo.Ā
But I have not lost the sound of their voices, the half-crooked smiles, the laugh-lines around their eyes and their unending and unconditional love.Ā I have not lost the memories, the talks, the arguments, the laughing-till-we-cried craziness, the fears we fought together, and the quiet still moments of pure magic spent in each others presence.Ā Those will be with me forever.Ā And for that I am grateful.Ā Ā
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Louis Jay Meyers Music Camp 2018 (Missy Teaching Bass) in Kansas City, MO - February 17th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Louis Jay Meyers Music Camp 2018 (Missy Teaching Bass) in Kansas City, MO - February 16th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Alison Brown, Becky Buller, Sierra Hull, Missy Raines, and Molly Tuttle at Rocky Grass '18 in Lyons, CO - July 28th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Alison Brown, Becky Buller, Sierra Hull, Missy Raines, and Molly Tuttle at RockyGrass '18 in Lyons, CO - July 27th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Mollie O'Brien & Rich Moore on Mountain Stage- (with Missy Raines on bass) in Charleston, WV - February 11th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Missy Raines Trio & 10 String Symphony Showcase at FAI in Kansas City, MO - February 17th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ An Evening with Missy Raines & The New Hip at Sutter Creek Theater in Sutter Creek, CA - March 9th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Casa Verde House Concert - Powderbears Present Missy Raines (open to public) in Point Richmond, CA - March 8th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Denison University Bluegrass Festival at the Swasey Chapel on Denison University campus. Friday, February 9, 2018 7pm in Granville, OH - February 9th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ The Southgate House Revival-Revival Room in Newport, KY - February 21st
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Folk Alliance Official Showcase in Kansas City, MO - February 15th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Sonoma County Bluegrass and Folk Festival in Sebastopol, CA - March 10th
Just Announced! Missy Raines & The New Hip @ Natalie's Coal Fired Pizza and Music in Worthington, OH - February 25th