Sara J. ☮️ @mommynlaban - Tumblr Blog

Nobody talks about it that much, but once you stop using drugs, you'll get temporarily addicted to the high of being clean. Everything looks optimistic. It's new. Life gets so perfect, colourful and beautiful. You'll get convinced that you won't feel the need to use that shit ever again, because why would you? It's that powerful.

So you go, and you start to build a new life for yourself, full of things you weren't able to do when you were using. The life you deserve.

But while the euphoria is fading away, the reality slowly catches up with you. Whatever thing you wanted to run away from with using drugs, will catch up with you. Therapy helps a lot, but the junkie part is still a part of you. You can try to break the pattern, piece by piece, or you can hide into denial, but you can't get rid of addiction. You can learn to live with it by accepting it and redirecting it somewhere else, which is what I'm trying to do with writing.

Some will redirect it to food, sport, religion or alcohol, but it doesn't really solve the problem. None of it.

In the end, it doesn't matter how fast you run, or how much different your life will get. You can never outrun yourself.