I'm not troubled like a genius

Remus Lupin

[mooneychild]

severusthehalfbloodprince​:

…

The scoff from Remus caused one of Snape’s brows to quirk up. The familiarity of the other’s words answered the question plaguing everyone’s mind: did they remember? It seemed as though Remus did, an air of comfort between the pair. Maybe even a bit of commiseration on Severus’ part. The two had seen a great deal over the years, overcome many obstacles - all for the sake of The Order, Harry, and defeating the other side. However, it hadn’t meant they settled their differences. Especially after the numerous mistakes Snape had made - even without the guise of working as a double agent. “Hello, Remus,” Severus corrected his greeting to the other to be less ‘formal’ as they said. After all, there was no reason to be. If they both remembered, perhaps they could work together once more, while trying to be civil, to gather information and piece together what had occurred. Taking in a deep breath, Severus stepped over to the other, “Certainly not butterbeer. What about you? Looking for a hot meal or someone to…investigate with?” he chose his words carefully. If there was one Snape wouldn’t mind deciphering what had come to pass with, it was Lupin. Especially if Dumbledore was keeping silent.

..

They hadn’t actually said the words, but the way they spoke to each other seemed to prove it. Remus knew that they’d never be friends, that there’d always be a distance between them that no amount of time would heal. Severus spoke with a formality that confirmed that, even after he yielded slightly and used Remus’s first name.

For some, they had dropped the act almost immediately, but Remus had a feeling he and Severus would be dancing around this for a while. He enjoyed the game of it a bit, feeling like he and Severus were getting into each other’s heads like when they were young. Not that either of them were anymore. “Ah, but where’s your sense of youth?” he prodded, mocking the situation they were in slightly to see what reaction he’d get. He turned more serious. “Investigating... maybe not the word I’d use, but I’d suppose so, yes.”

[mooneychild]

nighttimestorrm​:

***

Sirius never got nervous about anything. Especially not around people. It was one of the few things he could thank his parents for, his confidence often getting mistaken for arrogance that was one of the family traits he could never seem to shake. But, around Remus? Nerves ran through him as his fingers drummed at his side and he constantly tried to figure out the correct thing to say. Now more than ever he felt like he was one word away from losing Remus completely. He didn’t want to push and yet he didn’t want to believe what was between them was gone forever. Though the day might come where he would need too.

“Guess I’m just not in the mood to listen to history repeating itself.” He shrugged. Of course Remus had noticed. Though he wasn’t sure why he was surprised it wasn’t as though he had tried all that hard to be subtle. He had just assumed everyone else would be too busy listening in on the meeting to notice. Clearly he had been wrong. At least in Remus’ case. Next time he would need to get a hold of himself and at least try to pretend to pay attention. But it was hard when his head was still all over the place. 

He still didn’t fully understand what was going on. It was such a strange situation to be in. Remus has had years to move on and Sirius fells as though he has just been broken up with. He was still confused and had no idea what to do with the feelings he still had. He needed to ignore them. To move past them and push them down until they were nothing but a dull ache that he could forget about. 

The problem was that he just didn’t want too.

“I don’t know. We could go grab something to eat? Or we could just go for a walk. Whatever you want I don’t really mind.” Okay, he was starting to sound a little desperate now. But he just wanted to spend time with him. He didn’t actually care what they did. Yet he was worried about making suggestions that were too personal. He knew he was overthinking things but he couldn’t help it. Part of him just wanted to know what the new rules were. He wanted to be told how to act. Because not knowing was frustrating. “I just wanted to talk. If you want too, obviously.”

..

Remus couldn’t help but feel like this was his fault. That if he had just stepped right back into it with Sirius, he would actually feel like he was only a few steps away from Sirius rather than words away. It had been hard to see Sirius pull away because each time he’d done it before it never ended well. He had to tell himself that they both needed space and that they older now. They could take time without losing each other completely. They both knew how much they lost when they were apart. They wouldn’t let it happen permanently again. But did Sirius think this was permanent, despite what Remus kept trying to tell him?

“Hopefully it won’t be like that for long,” Remus assured him, but there was no conviction in his voice. He couldn’t say anything for sure either. Even if this all felt familiar, even if Remus could place the way Sirius looked in this moment like a photograph out of an album, this was actually new territory for them. They had no idea how this would play out.

He looked down at the table so he didn’t have to meet Sirius’s eyes. Even if he had been dying to be alone with Sirius again, even if he hated the way he pretty obviously been avoiding him, he didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know how to interact with the Sirius who had left him behind. But he needed to try, didn’t he? He couldn’t just keep taking steps away from him, or he’d undoubtedly lose him forever.

“I could walk,” he said getting up and stretching. He was still getting used to being back in this body. While his joints always felt like they belonged to a much older person because of his transformations, he certainly felt more spry than he once had. “Yeah,” he said with a slight nod. He wanted to ask what he wanted to talk about, but he decided to not get too ahead of himself. Maybe they should get somewhere more private first. Even if they were the only two left, he couldn’t shake that someone could be just outside or anyone they knew could come back at any moment. “Want to find a beach? Somewhere quieter?” The thought of being alone with Sirius made his chest squeeze. He felt like he was offering himself up for rejection. What if Sirius wanted to be somewhere more crowded? He didn’t think he couldn’t blame him. “Or we could go to Diagon or somewhere more bustling I suppose.”

[mooneychild]

chxrity-burbage​:

.

Charity wondered what it had been like for others. Did they all remember the day they died? Did any of them even know they had? What about those who hadn’t passed at all? What had their mornings looked like when they awoke much younger? It was all so bizarre and mind blowing that even beginning to think of an explanation made her head spin. 

Even if their own realization was traumatic, they hoped it had gone a bit smoother for Remus. After all, he’d said that nothing had really changed, and thought that everything had been a dream. Maybe there was peace in that recognition, even if he’d figured out that it had all been real. Charity knew as much of his life as he’d tell her, which was a good portion, but there were things that people kept personal, only for them to know, and they had a feeling there was something here that wasn’t being said. Charity didn’t want to pry, so instead they brushed it off and waited for Remus to tell them, if he decided they needed to know. 

Ask him? Merlin’s beard… Charity would rather pluck her eyes out with a quill, at the thought. At least, that was how she felt at the moment. It made them sick to their stomach to think about seeing him now, while all of the feelings were still very raw and emotional. “I dunno… Not right now, I can tell you that. I’m not ready.” They were confident enough to express that freely, not ashamed of their inner feelings. Charity had always thought it healthier to talk through ones emotions. 

Remus did make a good point though. Perhaps there was more to the story, and Charity had only seen one side. “You’re right, sometimes they aren’t. But sometimes, they can be worse.” Sighing, Charity wiped her sleeve over her eyes even though no tears were falling as of yet. They were simply tired. “I know you have your own opinions of him, but I appreciate you listening,” the blonde offered a small smile, knowing that it was likely difficult for Remus to remain neutral in this situation. “I think I just need time… Everyone does, most likely.”

..

Remus still had so many questions, but it at least brought him comfort that he wasn’t alone in this. He had gotten used to that - being alone - and this was something that was far too confusing to go at by himself.

He didn’t want to talk about his death much, mostly because he didn’t want to talk about the events leading up to his death. Charity knew more than others, so it would take less for him to fill in the gaps, but he still wanted time to work it all out himself before he went into all the details. He had no idea who he wanted to be now that they were back. He didn’t need to dwell on that part of himself just yet.

He nodded. He understood that. The not being ready part. “Makes sense,” he said. “There’s no rush. Whenever you’re ready. I’m here for you whatever you choose.” He was glad their friendship hadn’t changed even if so much else had.

“True,” he said with a smirk. He couldn’t argue that even if it sounded so cynical to say out loud. All they went through would make them a bit fatalistic, he couldn’t blame them. He nodded. “You’re my friend,” he reminded her. “It doesn’t matter what I think of him. I’ll be here for you.” He smiled. “But I’d also be ready to hex him into tomorrow if you said the word.” He chuckled. Some things never changed. He nodded. “This morning I felt like I wanted to spring into action immediately, but they may not be the smartest move. There’s so much we still don’t know and... We need to do it right this time.”

[mooneychild]

ameliajbones​:

⚖️

Amelia couldn’t help but giggle a bit at Remus words. “I don’t think I’d ever think you mad,” She said gently, “Maybe wondering if you were playing a prank or if you were trying to see what you could get me to believe as a joke, but not mad. Honestly, if I wasn’t so convinced with so many others remembering, I might have thought it was a big joke on me or something.” She shook her head a little, hating the thought, but happy that she wasn’t the only one who remembered.

Her face softened at his reaction to her teasing and she gave him a gentle smile instead. “Hey,” she said gently, “You’re a great friend, and I understand completely why you’d be worried and on edge about it. You’re a good boy. And I promise you that I’m here to help with anything I can. I’m not letting it happen again, not any of the bad stuff.”

She paused at the question, blinking for a moment and wrinkling her nose, before letting out a chuckle. “I suppose I don’t have a clear plan on that just yet,” She stated, though didn’t sound deterred at all, “I’ll figure it out, but I’ll do it.” She nodded her head, pausing for a second at that. “I mean… I don’t believe we’d remember everything if we weren’t supposed to change what happened. And we’re all stronger now. All I can focus on is that we’re going to win this, with less bloodshed this time. That’s it.”

..

Remus smiled at Amelia’s words. He never considered them very close, but she was being quite kind to him and that was comforting. As a young boy, he had been a bit blind to those around him, having all he needed with his close group of friends. When they left him one by one, he was surprised that there were others on the outside ready to pull him in. “I’m not as loose with my pranks,” Remus said with a grin. He was often the mastermind behind a lot of their pranks when they were young, he wouldn’t deny that, but he wasn’t always looking for their next joke like the others sometimes would. “But I could see based on my track record why you might assume as such.” He looked at her with a smirk. He was so grateful she was on his side in this.

Amelia wasn’t much older than Remus, but she often acted worlds older than him. It may have been because of the age difference when they met, him just entering Hogwarts and her almost graduating. He always acted older than his age and now, whatever was happening to them put a whole new spin on it. He just nodded, not saying what he really wanted to say which was: how can any of us really control this. 

Remus had always been a bit of a planner - at least for the short term. It helped him to be able to control whatever he could, seeing as he felt his future was always completely out of his grasp. He understood when others didn’t plan every moment though and in the case of his friends, it helped that they had some spontaneity to shake him loose. He nodded. What she said made sense and he wanted to believe her. He realized how quiet he had been, just focusing on taking in all the information she was giving him. “I hope you’re right. I can’t- I can’t go through all that again.”

[mooneychild]

mcrningecans​:

—–

     LILY KNEW THAT IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN EASY FOR HIM. Remus, she was gathering, had lived the longest of them all. Even longer than Peter, maybe, although she wasn’t certain about that fact. Still, he had seen them all go; had lost everyone close to him. While Lily felt heart-break, she genuinely couldn’t imagine feeling the kind of sadness that suddenly flooded through Remus at his admission. Selfishly, Lily was glad that she had been one of the first to go. She had never been good at heart-break, even though it seemed to keep happening to her. 

     “I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “You weren’t… Usually you told me.” Lily looked down at the books in the box and then back up at Remus. “I always just saw the way you looked at him but I didn’t want to push. It didn’t feel right.” She blew out a breath and then waved a hand. “S’pose death’s made me a bit more bold.” Then again, she’d never been lacking in boldness beforehand, but now it felt like there was absolutely no time to waste. If you cared for someone, you shouldn’t let anything stand in your way. Lily only wished she had felt this kind-of urgency in the past, but, she couldn’t blame herself. Her life, really, had been wonderful, even if it had been short. 

    Lily shook her head. “I can’t imagine,” she said, softly. “I don’t know what to do now that I’m back.” She looked around at the house full of boxes and then met his eyes. “I still see him, Harry. Everywhere. It’s…” Lily blew out a breath, trying to still herself. “It’s like I’m mad, y’know? Cause he hasn’t been here, not yet. But today? I’ve seen him crawling and–” She had to stop, shaking her head and meeting his eyes. “I think we can do it. Do something with this chance, I mean.” If anyone could, Lily knew it was their little family. They could move mountains. 

..

Remus wanted to enjoy this. He didn’t want to sink into the weight of all the emotions he was feeling, even if it felt so easy to do so. He needed to live in this moment, to take in Lily’s lively face again and hold her hands and just be. He imagined it was a bit easier for them. Lily was only pushed back a few years. Remus, nearly two decades. Though, he imagined it wasn’t easy to come back from death knowing your friends lived so much time without you. He hoped she knew how hard it was. How hard it was to be looking at her now. But how joyful it was too, to be seeing her alive again.

He shook his head with a smile. He had to smile because this for some reason was harder to believe than the fact they both woke back up in 1979. It was much harder somehow to hear Lily finally ask him about Sirius, especially when the answer he could give now was so much more complicated than he would have given her when they were first eighteen. “Bold is one word for it,” he teased. He didn’t know how he was going to face Sirius and Lily bringing him up made that weight settle in his chest once more. “I don’t know if anything is going to change,” he said. “You might have to keep dealing with those looks for another ten years.” He chuckled, but it was hard to joke about. He didn’t want anymore time to pass without them figuring things out, but things were more complicated for Remus than any of the others knew.

“Well at least you have some busy work,” he said. “There’s absolutely nothing to do at mine.” He had a feeling he’d be over here for more reasons than one. He nodded as she mentioned Harry. He understood how she felt for so many different reasons. She knew he’d be missing him too because he lost him too. But she didn’t know that he could relate to losing a son as well. “I know what you mean, Lils,” he said. He gave her a sympathetic smile. Part of him wanted that extra hint of boldness to come to work and for her to prod a bit more, but he had a feeling he wasn’t ready even if she did ask. “I can’t imagine what, but you’re right. We have to try whatever we can.”

[mooneychild]

peterapettigrew​:

🐀

Peter couldn’t help the faint flinch at Remus words, although he knew he had every right to say it. Sure, they had returned to a time where they were all alive and back together, but they also now had the weight and memories of everything that had happened before. Peter knew all too well the pain those caused and he was sure it was weighing on Remus just as heavily. But perhaps Peter was so desperate to cling to any good thoughts at the moment, that he just hoped the others were having a grand old time without him, because they would be happy then, wouldn’t they?

“I’m sorry,” He managed in a faint voice, feeling as if he could never say those words enough, like he would never be able to say it as many times as it needed to be said, or it be enough for any of them. All he could do was try, he figured. Still, he took a shaky breath at Remus’ question, glancing around to make sure that no one else was nearby or listening. “I told Lily… About the horcruxes,” He whispered out then, “And that I’d tell whatever else I know about him, whatever it takes to take him down this time. I want to help.”

..

Remus felt more like a parent than an older brother in this moment. It made sense in a way, given that he still felt so much older than this current body betrayed. He didn’t feel confident that he knew what to do in this present moment. He wasn’t sure if not being angrier at Peter was doing the right thing. Maybe there wasn’t one right thing.

He nodded, tight lipped at Peter’s words. He could show him kindness, but he decided he didn’t need to completely swallow his anger either. But Peter did seem sorry and he did seem scared. Maybe those were good signs, he hoped. Hope had to be enough right now. Remus couldn’t help but look around nervously at the mention of the H word. It had always seemed taboo, like something no one else should know. Perhaps because it was that, wasn’t it. Most people didn’t know. “We thought we could trust you the first time,” he said frankly. “How can we be sure this time?”

[mooneychild]

nighttimestorrm​:

who: @mooneychild​ when: 18th january 1959 where: order meeting

Sirius doesn’t think there has ever been a time he has actively avoided Remus. Not even after the Snape incident, or when they suspected each other of being spies. He’s never been able to keep away for long. But, this time, he has came up with any excuse he could to not be alone with him. Sure, he tried to act as though nothing was wrong when they were around others. It was easy when he had others around to distract him. But the second it was just the two of them he found a reason to leave. He just couldn’t stand it. He didn’t know how to act anymore and, if he was being honest with himself, it just hurt too damn much still. But he didn’t want to put that on Remus. So instead he avoided him. Which probably wasn’t the best solution either.

He barely listened to what others were speaking about as he rocked onto the chairs back legs staring into space. He even made sure he was on the opposite side of the table from Remus, which was weird enough. But, that turned out to be a bad choice as he kept glancing over at him. And every time he did he felt an ache in his chest that he just wanted to go away. Yet that was the problem. He didn’t know how to make his feelings go away anymore. Maybe it would just take time. Or maybe he just needed to learn to live with them. But either way it was a distraction that caused him to take in nothing that was going on around him.

Eventually, one by one everyone left until it was once again just the two of them. And he was at a complete lose for what to say. Usually he would just run off with a mumbled excuse. But he was tired of that. He missed him. Not even just what they had before but as a friend. They had been through so much together over the years that he didn’t want this to be what drove a wedge between them. So he would just have to get over it. Maybe things could never go to how they were right before he died. But that didn’t mean that he had to lose Remus completely.

With a sigh he leaned forward until the chair was back on four legs with a clatter and looked over at Remus. He needed to say something. Anything before they just went their separate ways again. They would be alright if he just managed to break the awkward silence between them. He had to believe that. “Meetings haven’t gotten anymore interesting than they used to be.” He finally said and he inwardly cringed at how forced it felt. But, it was better than nothing. “Do you have any plans today? We could maybe…hangout. For a bit. If you wanted. If not that’s cool too.” 

Remus had replayed the day Sirius came to him way too many times in his head. In every replay, he imagined a different scenario. One where he told him about Dora and Teddy. One where he grabbed his face and kissed him. One where he promised way more than he had. Remus had been trying to save Sirius that day. He had been trying to make sure he wouldn’t lose him again. And yet, he felt he still was. Even if Sirius told him he wouldn’t.

Remus wanted to be angrier about it. He wanted to wring him by the shirt collar or corner him in a room and wonder why he was acting like Remus was barely alive. If Sirius had been that upset by how Remus had changed, why was he suddenly pulling away instead of trying to build up their trust again?

But Sirius didn’t know the full story. He had no idea why Remus hadn’t immediately embraced him after the clocks turned back. He was protecting them, it seemed, but Godric did Remus hate how this felt. And it wasn’t going to be long before their friends confronted them about it. They all had enough to worry about, they didn’t needed added drama between Remus and Sirius on top of it. Though maybe, it was an added familiarity for them.

Remus wasn’t surprised when Sirius chose to not-so-subtly avoid him by sitting on the opposite side of the table that day, but what frustrated him was how he continued to not-so-subtly glance over at him any chance he got. Was he trying to make their personal affairs everyone else’s business?

He wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but the way Sirius kept glancing at him throughout the evening kept him glued to his seat. It looked almost like a promise. Remus wasn’t sure they had even been alone since that first day. He looked over at Sirius as they were finally alone, trying to shake off the awkwardness. Talking to Sirius was like casting a spell, even if you were out of practise, the sensation of it never fully left. “That why you weren’t paying attention?” He wanted it to come out a little more distant, so his tone could convey the frustration he felt toward the other man, but instead it came out with the warmth he knew he really felt deep down. He didn’t have any plans and he knew Sirius probably knew that. “What did you have in mind?”

[mooneychild]

ameliajbones​:

⚖️

‘You remember, right?’ Amelia couldn’t help but let out a loud breath of relief at hearing Remus’ words. “Oh thank merlin,” She laughed out then, “Yes, yes I remember too. Or know. Whichever, yes. I know about what happened in the other time.” Because it was the other time now, she thought, a time that wouldn’t happen again, that she wouldn’t let happen again. She would do whatever it took to make sure none of that happened again.

“Whoa. Easy, down boy,” She teased him lightly then, putting her hands up a little and chuckling, “Relax. I’m not trying to get them to do anything. Honestly, I want to help and make sure that they can go through their training this time. They work really hard and I want them to be able to go far. Plus, I wasn’t sure about just asking you if you knew, so it was a conversation starter.” She gave a tiny shrug.

Amelia nodded a little then, understanding what Remus meant by that. “Well, then I suppose this time you’ll have to find what you want to do, yes? Because we’ll make them possible,” She spoke with such a certainty, watching him and wanting him to know she was serious about this, “Because I’m going to make sure everyone is happy this time. Doing something they want, and happy. So you’ll have to give me some thoughts.”

..

The relief he felt when he happened upon someone else in his same position would never get old. He felt the same anticipation with everyone he struck up a conversation with and even if his odds had been good lately, he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. He supposed he could feign confusion if he needed to, but this, this was so much better. Now they could put their heads together, piece together where the other’s knowledge dropped off. “Thank Godric,” he said with a smile. “Or you would have thought I was quite mad.”

It was easy to get overprotective of his friends, especially since now he found them in his life again without so much of a thought as to how or why. He knew Amelia meant well though and the corners of his lips turned down at her teasing. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Easy to be on edge lately.”

Remus still felt like it wasn’t possible. He didn’t want to snap at her, but what she seemed to be promising him, how she approached it as only a matter of time felt so foreign to him. It was never about time for him it was about circumstance. And he didn’t think time would fix that yet. But he nodded politely. “How do you reckon you’ll do that?” He hoped she didn’t take it as a challenge, because it really was out of genuine curiosity. “It’s hard to believe that we’ll be able to change things without consequence,” he said. “And yet, it’s all I can think about.”

[mooneychild]

ofmollyweasley​:

&&

as difficult as it was going back to having small children again, it gave molly a sense of relief, at least for the time being, knowing they were all safe. she could keep them close to her, keep them safe. arthur could keep them safe. but on the other side of it, it was hard wrestling with the emotions of having lost fred twenty years in the future and having him safe now.

“you don’t have to say that twice,” she said, a soft smile at remus telling her to savor it. she nodded her head. she planted a soft kiss on george’s head, nodded her head, and led the way to the kitchen, where she pulled her wand out and set the tea kettle to work. 

..

Even if she looked much younger than he had really known Molly as, there was something so familiar about being here. Molly was still the same mother he knew. She still had the same instincts and compassion. It was one of the reasons why he went to her so soon. He knew she could be counted on to pick up the pieces.

He still felt like a guest in Molly’s home, even if he knew the place well. Being a teenager again didn’t help much. It made him feel more like a child than he normally did with Molly. He didn’t know where to start. There was so much he wanted to know. Finally, he decided not to be so bogged down on specifics. “What do you know? What- What happened?”

[mooneychild]

chxrity-burbage​:

.

Charity wondered if their death hadn’t been so traumatic if they would have not recognized that anything was wrong either. It was weird, how people reacted so differently to this new phenomenon. “I wish it was a dream…” Charity whispered, shaking their head. It would have been one horrible dream, a nightmare, really, but at least it would have been only that. Instead, what they’d hoped had been a cruel nightmare had been a very real chain of events that now haunted every minute of their every day. 

“I think I nearly passed out when I saw my reflection… so many things had been different, that young age was perhaps one of the last things I noticed.” Charity had been looking for the tears in her clothes, the scars on her face, hell, even the gray hairs. None of that was there, though. Rather, their image was young, and lively, free of laugh lines or wrinkles, no scarring anywhere on the body. At least, not from that night. 

Death was not something to be feared, Charity had always thought. Even before the war had struck, Charity never feared the end of her life. Then again, that was most likely because they had anticipated a peaceful passing, not one where they were forcibly taken out of the world. Still, dying hadn’t even been the most traumatic part. The events that led up to her death were what kept Charity up at night.

Talking about Severus was going to be hard, they had known that before his name left their lips, but it was likely going to be easiest to talk about it with Remus. Even though she understood that the two of them had their own complicated relationship, Charity had never hid the fact that she didn’t feel entirely the same, and had often spoken to Remus about him when they taught together. She had assumed that her and Severus had been quite good friends, even if she’d wanted more out of their friendship than he did. Unfortunately, it seemed that she was incorrect, given what happened the night she passed. 

Charity squeezed Remus’ hand for comfort, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I don’t know why, and I don’t know what part he had in the night, but he was there. I saw him, and when I tried to speak, it was like I was already dead to him.” Shaking their head, Charity tried their best to hold back from crying, not wanting to waste tears on this. “I thought… I dunno… I just thought he’d changed.”

..

Remus wanted to hold space for Charity, but he also couldn’t shake how disturbing it was that they knew how they died and when. Even if they could change their path, he wouldn’t blame Charity for shuddering anytime they saw someone who was in the room that night. Remus isn’t sure what he would do if he saw Dolohov again.

He nodded. It was similar for him, but he wasn’t about to give up what had happened to him after Charity died. Not yet. He wasn’t about to say that he had no idea where his wife and child went and that had been on his mind long before he noticed his reflection. “Took me a bit too,” he admitted. “It was mostly a very confusing morning for a moment.”

Remus had always known on some level that he would die young, but it was still strange holding the knowledge that he did in fact die young. Maybe not as young as he thought at some points in his life, but still long before he could see his son grow up or the world they lived in change for the better. He hoped it did. He hoped it would perhaps.

He had always tried to put away his biases for Charity. Especially as adults, it seemed foolish to spend their time upset about Severus around her. Just because he and Remus weren’t the most friendly, didn’t mean that no one he was friends with could like him. “Well,” Remus said slowly, carefully considering his next words. “I suppose you could ask him? A bright spot in this, perhaps. If you feel you can of course. I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to see him.” It was maybe too logical of an answer. Focused only on finding out information and not thinking about the emotional side of things and what Severus’s answer could possibly do to Charity if it wasn’t one she wanted to hear. “Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.”

[mooneychild]

severusthehalfbloodprince​:

…

A week. A entire week had gone by and no answers for all of the work that had been put into finding them. Only very little information with who remembered and how much. It put Severus on edge. A time-turner couldn’t doo something of this magnitude, could it? He wondered. If it had, how were they all able to keep their memories? Why couldn’t he reach out to any of his comrades on the other side? Did they remember as well, or just the Order? To many loose ends made Severus quite uncomfortable. He had been rather used to being one of the very few who held some of the heaviest information on both sides.

Now, there was nothing. And that didn’t sit right with Snape. Frustrated, Severus wanted to be somewhere other than Hogwarts. He was done looking at stone walls he knew would one day crumble. All for the sake of power. Instead, he made his way to Diagon Alley, pacing the cobblestones until his feet found their way to the entryway of the Leaky Cauldron, when a familiar face caught his eye.

Blinking, Severus stared, unsure of whether to talk to Remus Lupin or not. If everyone else remembered, he was sure to as well, wouldn’t he? He hadn’t realized how long he’d been staring until Remus pointed it out, and sighed, “Hello, Lupin.”

..

Remus was fortunate that most of the people he’d run into lately were good encounters. It was such a world of difference from where he had been only a few weeks ago with the stress of a new baby and a second wizarding war. He was under a lot of stress now with so much uncertainty, but at least he had his friends back and everyone he had run into seemed ready to work through this together.

He wasn’t so sure about Severus. There was a lot they had been through together as adults, but even that hadn’t been completely enough for them to settle their differences. He was still piecing together what was happening to them, but he had a feeling Severus would remember too. And if he didn’t, then maybe that was a step in the right direction to figuring out who this was affecting and why. “So formal,” he scoffed. It felt oddly comfortable talking to Severus. At least the other had lived longer than a lot of the others. They were both middle-aged men in teenage bodies now. No matter what he was feeling, it was still tricky to decide how friendly to be with the other man. “What’s got you ‘round here today?”

[mooneychild]

peterapettigrew​:

🐀

Peter blinked slightly, feeling and looking a little confused at Remus question. Was that not what he should be doing, he wondered? Should he be going out and facing everyone and letting them hex him or scream at him? Sure, perhaps that’s what he deserved, and honestly what he felt he needed to do, but wasn’t there time for that later? Everyone who remembered had just gotten back, he was sure that they’d rather have the emotional happy reunions instead of seeing the pathetic rat who’d ruined it all.

“I-I wasn’t going to do that for good,” He stammered out then, his shoulders hunching back down, “I just… I didn’t figure anyone would want to see me, and I wanted to stay out of the way so anyone who remembered could see each other again, and be happy, instead of… I-I just didn’t want to upset anyone more, and give them time before I tried to help…” He was trembling again, suddenly wondering if that was a mistake too.

..

Remus was an only child, but the way he and Peter grew up together, it felt like what he thought having a younger brother would feel like. That’s why Peter’s betrayal had felt so enormous. He was family and he turned on their family. And now it’s why he felt like he needed to do something to save him. Had he turned his back on him earlier and that’s why this happened? Did he miss the signs?

He felt bad for getting a little cross at him, but Remus was being overly kind to Peter and they both knew it. Not everyone was going to be as forgiving. He sighed, feeling a bit like a mother who just yelled at her kid and caused him to burst into tears. “Well, I’m not happy I’ll tell you that,” he said. It sounded more dramatic and cynical than he meant it to. He was happy in some ways. Happy to see his old friends. Happy to feel like they had a chance. But knowing over a decade of the future and all of a sudden being catapulted back to age eighteen was weighing on him too. “Help how?”

[mooneychild]

nighttimestorrm​:

***

More than anything Sirius wanted to stay. But, he didn’t know if that was a good idea or not. He felt seconds away from breaking down and he didn’t want to in front of Remus. It wasn’t either of their faults they were in this situation and the last thing he wanted to do was make Remus feel bad for being honest. It was Sirius’ problem if he felt like he was falling apart at the seams and barely holding himself together. He needed time to come to terms with everything. But he also didn’t want to be alone.

“I don’t have anything else to do really. Just trying to figure out what exactly I was doing at twenty.” He said, laughing lightly as if he didn’t just have his heart shattered. He could try and pretend that there was nothing between them again. He could switch it so they were just friends and talk to Remus like he always had. But, the memories were there fighting to be at the front of his mind. The memory of a happy life that he had been so close to having he could have touched it. And now they were thrust back at the start and he had to remember what that was like. How did he talk to Remus like the man didn’t have his entire heart? That he wasn’t sure of. But he’d figure it out. “But I can do that in my own home I don’t need to stick around and be in your way.” 

The last thing he wanted to be was a burden. And he didn’t want to upset Remus anymore than he possibly already has. Maybe they both just needed some space even though that was the last thing he wanted.

“Not today but I want to go see Alice soon. I want to make sure she is alright. There’s a few other people but it can wait. The last thing I want is to overwhelm anyone. Everyone is probably just as confused as we are. There’s so many people that I haven’t seen in so long it’s hard to know where to start really.”  Anyone but Peter. That’s what he really wanted to say. He knew how that meeting would go. It would have to happen eventually. But he wanted to put that off for as long as possible. 

“But, um…I’m sure you have things to be getting on with so I’ll leave you too it.” It pained him to stand up. But he forced himself too. He needed to leave before he lost it completely. He was surprised with himself that he’s managed to hold it together this long. But he knew he was cracking. And if he stayed much longer he might not be able to pull himself back together.

..

Remus wanted him to stay, but he also wanted him to. He could feel the way Sirius had tensed when he told him he couldn't be the same just yet. He could see the way he barely met Remus's eyes. Sirius needed time to process he was sure and if they stayed in this house together he wasn't sure what would happen. Remus wanted to believe they had all the time in the world to figure this out and just like every time before, they'd find their way back to each other. Even if it was painful. Even if it took time.

"I don't know what you were doing at twenty so don't ask me," he said with a laugh. He finished his beverage, then got up to put his mug in the sink so he didn't have to look into Sirius's eyes anymore. "Come by whenever you want," he said. He wanted to add stay with me. Spend the night. We can hold each other and we can figure this out. But that would be leading Sirius on and that wasn't fair. "You're not in my way, but I do think I need to get out and not mope around all day. I really should see Molly."

There were so many people he wanted to see. He was glad Sirius had come over so he didn't have to put him on a list and worry about the anticipation of it all. At least the hardest part was over now. "I know," he said. "I feel like I need to make a list and cross people off."

Remus knew Sirius was having a hard time, but still it was probably best to watch him go for now. Then they could both figure out how to move forward. "Seriously," he said going over to him and putting his hands on his shoulders. "Come over whenever. Please," he pleaded. Remus couldn't lose him again and if Sirius shut him out slowly, he thinks that would be the most painful of any of the times he'd lost Sirius before. He wanted to say more, to do more as he stood there, but it wouldn't be fair to either of them to say he needed space and then kiss him. That wouldn't be productive. He took his hands off his shoulders and led him to the door. "I'm glad you came by. Take care, will ya?"

END

[mooneychild]

mcrningecans​:

—–

     A SNORT FOLLOWED HIS WORDS, BUT MORE OUT OF INSTINCT THAN ANYTHING ELSE. Truth be told, she was just so bloody glad that he could battle James for the title; so glad that Remus stood here, grin on his cheeks and hands helping to unpack. She couldn’t have asked for anything better, if she were being honest, and Lily didn’t know how to express the sudden wave of gratefulness that swept over her. More than that, there was a twinge of sadness; for all they had lost. For all they might gain. Could they be on the precipice of a new life? Could they move forward from what they’d done in the past? “You well know there’s no competition,” she teased. 

     At Remus’s words, she managed a smile, shrugging as if she had only asked about him about the weather. “What can I say?” she said, laughing. “You die, come back to life, and you want to know if your best friends realized they were in love with each other.” Lily didn’t know if it had blossomed to love, really, but she knew love would always be there. Between the four boys, there would always be that deep, forgiving, love. The kind you only read about in stories. She wasn’t quite certain if it was romantic, sometimes, but she knew Remus the best at Hogwarts, and could tell by the look on his face whenever Sirius walked in the room. Some people were different.

     For her, it was James. It had always been, and she wished someone had told her sooner. Then again, they had, and she was too stubborn to see it. To see him. She’d merely let the thought drift away, remembering only the parts of him that she didn’t particularly like: the pranks and the constant harassment of Severus. Still, while she couldn’t explain away the Severus bits, he had done all he could to make up for it, in her mind. He’d grown. He’d learned. For her, that was everything, and that was the moment she’d known. Now, looking at Remus, her heart ached. He’d never gotten the moment, not really. It’d been ripped from them, just like everything else. 

    “Oh, Remy,” she said, quietly, letting her old nickname slip from her lips. Her feet were moving before she could stop them, but instead of a hug, unsure if he’d want that right now, she just started to unpack the box he was working on too, allowing herself to be closer to him as he finished his story. “That’s–that’s got to be devastating. I can’t imagine. Losing him, knowing Peter was already gone in a way–” Lily blew out a raspberry, looking down at the books in front of them. “Well… Maybe there’s a chance now. Maybe that’s what this is. A chance for all those moments that we weren’t allowed before.”

..

It shouldn't have surprised him how quickly it was to feel normal with Lily. Lily and him always had a special bond. It was so easy to know what the other was thinking or to read their expressions or to know when they were keeping something a secret. He knew that with that reasoning he would eventually have to tell Lily about everything that happened after Sirius died, but for now he wanted to hold onto that. He hoped she would understand. "I know," he said as he stuck his tongue out her. Old times, he had to remind himself. Just like old times.

Remus's chest tightened at Lily's words. He knew she was just messing with him, but it was hard to talk about it when he didn't really know where he and Sirius stood in the present. They had fallen in love, but was that going to be the same after all that Remus experienced? "How are you just bugging me about this now?" he joked with her. "I think we could've used a nudge years ago." It had taken him and Sirius way too long to realize it on their own. It may have been that they never would have figured it out sooner no matter what, but he couldn't help but wonder.

"I don't really know," he admitted. "It's hard to be back here. Staring at all of you." He swallowed. "It's so good to see you, but I lost all of you and I had to learn to live without you and now... now I don't really know what to do with you back. And what that will even mean for our futures."

[mooneychild]

who: @severusthehalfbloodprince​ when: 7th January 1979 where: Diagon Alley

Remus thought he would get used to this new reality eventually, but it had been almost a week and he was still looking for answers. He still felt like he was walking on egg shells with whoever he encountered. So far, everyone he ran into was in the same situation he was, but that didn’t all mean they were reacting the same way. Remus had no idea what that meant for their future.

He wasn’t used to not having clear directions. Ever since he graduated he had the Order to occupy him for most of his life. Now, he had no idea if the Order was even needed anymore. This lack of direction reminded him too much of late 1981 when he no longer had anyone to lean on. At least now all his friends were back in his life, but it didn’t make the nervousness go away.

Remus was still trying to adjust to feeling older emotionally while being thrust back into an 18 year old body. Especially when he was around James or Lily ore Marlene, it felt like he was regressing. It wasn’t all bad, it was nice to feel a little more free than he had in years. And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling childish, from the teenage pettiness coming out in him. So when Remus caught the familiar silhouette of Severus, Remus’s younger self wanted to turn around completely and ignore the other. Even as adults, they had never fully been able to move past that. But maybe this was an opportunity for something different.

He nodded in his direction as the other stared at him. He wasn’t surprised he was making the first move. “Going to keep gawking at me, Severus? Or are you going to at least say hello?”

[mooneychild]

peterapettigrew​:

🐀

Peter couldn’t help but turn red and duck his head slightly again when Remus told him to slow down. He nodded quickly, taking a shaky breath and just trying to focus. His shoulders were slowly starting to relax, and he wasn’t hunching over as much as he had been before. Honestly, the thought of his friends still being there, still wanting him around, was more than he ever thought he’d get. He was still nervous that it might not be true… but he wanted to believe.

“Y-yeah,” He said then, nodding again and shrugging his shoulders a little. “I just thought I should get some stuff and stay in for awhile. I was going to get some supplies and bake again, like old times… or I guess… these times?” He paused and suddenly furrowed his brows as he thought about it, unsure and feeling like it hurt to think about. He didn’t need to worry over such phrasing though, he figured, Remus would know what he was talking about.

..

In a way, Remus was glad he had run into Peter. At least now he didn’t have to worry about the unknowns. He had seen Peter and could for the most part get a gauge on how he was feeling. Unless he was a way better actor than Remus remembered, Peter just seemed scared out of his skin more than anything. 

He didn’t want to stay long though. Sure, he had promised to see Peter again. He had extended kindness to him that others may not have been so quick to offer. But the longer Remus looked at Peter, the harder it was to ignore what he did. What he could still do. He nodded. It all seemed so normal and yet, this was the most abnormal thing he could possibly think of. “So you’re just going to hide away from everyone? That’s it?”

[mooneychild]

ofmollyweasley​:

&&

molly couldn’t even begin to imagine what remus was going through, having gone through nymphadora’s entire pregnancy, then the birth, and the little time he had with teddy, only to be thrown back twenty years. while she knew the feeling of losing a child, having lost one twenty years in the future, she would never know what it felt like to have a child only to be deposited twenty years in the past, childless.

with fred safely in remus’ arms, it allowed molly to pick up george. while she wasn’t ignoring george for his twin brother, she knew she was paying special attention to the boy she lost in the future. so while she had the chance and the free arms, she would pay attention to her other twin. 

“certainly not with a set of twins,” she said as she laughed. she loved babies and she knew she was good with them, having seven of them, but it wasn’t easy. “i thought i was done with that phase of my life.”

..

Remus wanted to pretend like it was all normal, but he could tell by the way that Molly was holding onto her sons that she was just as strung out as he was. Molly was someone who could give him answers, he assumed. He had been that person for many people and now it was time to see if he could get the answers that were still questions for him.

“Well, savor it while you can,” he said lightly. He knew she knew that better than anyone. She had seen all her children grow up. She knew how fast it went. “Tea time then?” he asked as he nodded towards the kitchen. “Then, I have some things I want to ask you.”