Aleto Men Moi Nostos

An ask/rp blog where I RP literally the coolest Servant ever in Fate. Achilles.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

🔥

And now for something completely different, featuring outing myself as a former member of a shit fandom

I was gonna use the sloppy metafiction as a cardinal sin as a way to segue into salting about Homestuck but then I figured fuck it, poorly executed metafiction is one of the least of Homestuck’s problems.

The biggest problem with Homestuck, in my eyes after doing a lot of thinking is that the last chunk of it (everything post Game Over) was utterly unplanned or just poorly planned. Everything was slapdash preparation for the climax, almost everything in the Game Over timeline is just left as a loose end. And its replaced by a fucking saccharine show of characters that we barely know anything about.

And then people will try to argue that this is good writing because Homestuck is about a video game and you lose lives in a video game and shut the fuck up you goddamn moron. If you’d honestly sit through a five hour movie of a guy getting his teeth kicked in by some The Nameless King and actually pay to do so then I’ll concede that you’re beyond help and offer to put you out of your misery myself but if you can make something like that a commercial success that still adheres to professional standards then I’ll concede that maybe I was wrong about how certain parts of one medium cannot be translated into another medium and then I’ll spend the rest of my life quoting Professor Farnsworth whenever anyone asks me how I am.

But yeah, back on track, Homestuck in its final arcs feels rushed. Like Hussie somehow forgot that He needed to write an ending to it until after Game Over. The entire Game Over timeline is just left hanging with next to no closure and John’s retcon powers are promptly forgotten about (which is honestly for the better because they killed the comic enough in their brief tenure)

I could have used this to bitch at length about my absolute loathing for Post retcon Vriska, who holds the position of my least favourite fictional character ever (long story short, everything that’s awful about Scathach and Manaka is present in this iteration of Vriska in particular) but it’s not worth it. I can laugh at Sieg getting his shit pushed in by Karna after all his spotlight stealing and Scathach getting mauled by BerserCu in America and I’ll smile at Arthur killing Manaka but there’s no catharsis for Vriska. She’s a Creator’s Pet and she’ll never get that cathartic moment that fills my salt for those other three with enthusiasm. Homestuck, in brief, is a great set of concepts, brought down by overly ambitious and poor writing.

Now, if you’ll excuse, I’m going invent inter-dimensional the get to to the timeline where Wildbow wrote Homestuck. And I’ll show the people of that Timeline Worm. Also, you all should read Worm

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

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Vidya game shit

Stop telling people how to play a fucking game. Super Smash Bros, Pokemon, Undertale, it doesn’t matter what game it is, it doesn’t matter whether you play casual or competitive in the case of the former two or if you do Genocide runs in UT or just refuse to do so, stop.

I’ve seen casual Pokemon players rip the metaphorical throats off of anyone who dares say that maybe Smogon isn’t the worst thing in the world (and it pains me to say that I was once in that camp until I realised that their rules were there for a good reason.) I’ve also seen competitive Smash players belittle casual players based on their character choices but I’ve just as often seen people shit on Melee fans for daring to like the game and prefer it to the later two installments which is equally fucking stupid.

And everyone already knows about how if you do a Genocide run in Undertale you deserve to be beheaded with a machete and your whole family should be killed too because pixels on a screen and what happens to them somehow fucking matters enough to warrant being a complete fuckstick.

If you do that, telling someone how to play any game or trying to dictate their preferences or judge them for those preferences, you deserve to be beaten with sticks.

This feels a lot more rambly than the last few.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

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Spoilers for Pokemon Sun and Moon under the cut:

Stop fucking wanking Gen I. With Gen VI, the wank was there but kinda tolerable. Charizard and Mewtwo getting two Mega Evolutions was kinda irritating but nothing that couldn’t be looked over.

Then Gen VII. Why is every fucking Alola variant a Kanto Pokemon? Why not some Johto or Sinnoh mons? And then there’s the battle tree where Red and Blue are the hottest shit around. Now, I’ll take this back if, when I get my ORAS team into Moon, it turns out that Ethan, Lyra, Brendan, May, Barry or any of the other protags or rivals show up but until then, I’m gonna be childish over the most overhyped fucking character in all of fucking video games showing up where he doesn’t fucking belong.

I’m petty, this isn’t news. And Fuck Pokemon Red and Blue.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

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I could talk about Heaven’s Feel but I’m gonna save that for when it’s more topical because I can talk for a good bit on that. So because we can’t talk about Heaven’s Feel, let’s talk about the Poor Man’s Substitution:

Fate Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya Drei

I know Prisma is low hanging fruit, I acknowledged as much before, but I’m gonna go for the highest of the low hangers. The Ainsworths. More specifically how they’re portrayed and written by Hiroyama.

It’s one thing to turn an evil character into a vaudevillian mustache twirling bad guy so you have to root for the good guys (it’s still bad writing though) but to do it to characters whose intentions are good so you’re forced  to root for the protagonists (even if the protagonists are assholes) is a cardinal fucking sin alongside the likes of sloppy metafiction, enforced Black and White Morality, gratuitous rape and author tracts.

I might have gotten sidetracked there. Anyway, back on track. The world that Miyu comes from in Prillya is fucking awful. As bad as the world of Fate/Extra (where magic is dead), and Tsukihime (where Dead Apostles kill humans a lot and Heroic Spirits potentially don’t exist) are, the Miyuverse is worse. In the Miyuverse, Earth is about to die and take humanity with it which is the absolute bad end of the Nasuverse. Earth dies, humanity dies and every living thing dies too and then nine superpowered Aliens that shit on every Heroic Spirit in terms of powerlevels come down and wipe out anything that’s left. So surely, any group that is trying to prevent that bad end are the good guys, right?

Not in fucking Prisma. The Ainsworths, the guys trying to save the world are reduced to a flock of gigantic assholes doing petty evil things to make us root for Miyuverse Shirou and the gang who basically want the Miyuverse to crash and burn.

It’s like Joel in The Last of Us. Actually, no, that’s wrong of me to say. The Last of Us at least managed to cast some doubt on whether the world saving thing was gonna work. Joel’s still a complete fucking bastard, don’t get me wrong but at least they weren’t so blatantly cheap about trying to get us to root for Joel. I’m pretty sure they kept it up to preference actually. So props to you, Naughty Dog. and fuck you Hiroyama. And fuck you Joel from The Last of Us. And fuck you Miyuverse Shirou.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

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It has been three and a half million years since Achilles appeared in Alexander’s interlude and there has been no fucking sign of him and with Babylon on the immediate horizon, I’m getting fairly fucking antsy and annoyed.

On that fucking note, if Achilles’ portrait is his fucking Apocrypha art, just spruced up a little, like it was in the interlude, I’m gonna be fifty shades of pissed off because not only has it been three million years since his cameo but him having the same portrait as he does in a previous work when you had three million years to make a new portrait and throw it in there is terminally lazy. Also, if he’s not gold I’m going to be fifty one shades of pissed.

GIVE ME ACHILLES YOU SPITEFUL MOBAGE PEOPLE.

[meme-cafe]

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

Alt!

I’ve gone into detail on Kriemhild, I’m pretty sure. And before that, there was Diomedes (am I using this meme to gush about my OCs? Yes, yes I am.)

So, let’s look at Constantine XI Palaeologus this time. For anyone who might not know, Constantine XI Palaeologus, who will be referred to as Connie or Constantine for the sake of ease, was the Last Emperor of Byzantine and his death marked the end of the Roman Empire.

But gosh diddly darn did he go out fighting. For anyone who does know, you probably know of him either because I didn’t shut up about him for a while or because when Byzantium’s defences finally crumbled under the Ottoman’s assault, rather than surrender his title to the invading forces, he removed anything that would identify him as Emperor and charged into a hopeless last stand with what remained of his soldiers.

Went out like a true badass.

So now he’s a Servant. Appearance wise, he looks very not kingly. You look at him and he looks unremarkable but he’s still got that kingly aura and attitude about him. Everything about him save for his appearance seems to scream “THIS GUY IS IMPORTANT!”

Also he’s a fanboy of Romulus and Caesar. Less so of Caligula and Nero for being “a raving madman” and “artistically inept.”

Anywhoodle, Parameters, skills and NP and other crap.

STR:B         MAN: BEND: A+       LUK: CAGI: A            NP: A++

Class Skills:Magic Resistance: CRiding: B

Personal Skills:Imperial Privilege: EX (Due to Constantine living well after the Age of Gods, his Imperial Privilege does not allow him to acquire skills that are exclusive to that era)Bravery: A+Military Tactics: C+: The same rank as Hector with the same conditional modifier, he gets a bonus when fighting a war of attrition.

Noble Phantasm:

Constantine Paleologus (Return, O Marble Emperor): A+ Anti-Unit (Self): , it became legend that after the Ottoman’s invaded the city of Byzantium, Constantine was rescued and his body had been turned to Marble. While this is not the case, the legend has granted Constantine the title of the “Marble Emperor” and given him a Noble Phantasm to signify his title. Constantine’s right arm has been converted to pure white marble. With Rome’s many emperors being immortalised through Marble sculptures as well, Constantine can recreate the weapons they fought with using his own arm to birth a copy of the weapon.

Byzantium Aeturnus (The Walls of the Final Stronghold): A++ Fortress: The walls of the city of Byzantium, materialised as a pseudo Reality Marble. Constantine can deploy any number of walls, however the larger the number of walls, the weaker each individual wall becomes in terms of durability. With one wall, the wall’s durability would allow it to comfortably survive anti army attacks. Without destroying the walls, the only way to enter is through the gates upon each wall. If a Servant chooses to enter through the Gate, they will be forced to duel Saber at the peak of his power for within the area that the walls of Byzantium enclose, Saber’s fame is boosted to the highest level, or allow Saber to leave the site of the battle undetected.

Yep, so that’s Saber Constantine Paleologus for you. I was half tempted to give him a Noble Phantasm that activates on death to reference the Renaissance happening partly because Constantinople fell but I decided against it because for one, three NPs for a Saber is kinda pushing at it and two, I had no idea what it would do specifically. He’s kinda OP but to be fair, he was involved in one of the focal points of human history. And if Nikola Tesla can shit Lightning like no one’s business for similar reasons, then I don’t see a reason why Connie shouldn’t have a pet wall, or pet walls.

[sorcerouscheerleader-deactivate]

Send me "alt!" and I'll introduce you to a character I've rped in the past, want to play in the future or are currently playing somewhere else!

[avatarwindboy]

Up close and personal Meme

✌Rules! Send either “Mun” or “Muse” plus a question if you want to know the answer from either from the intimate, TMI questions below!

웃    Last thing you remembering thinking before you fell asleep last night. 

☿     Something that scares you to your core. 

♒    A memory that still makes you cry. 

☑    The biggest regret of your life. 

❣     Tell us about your fist kiss. 

♥     Tell us about your first time. 

❥     The first time you had your heart broke/ detail your first major break up. 

✄    Something about yourself you’re really embarrassed or ashamed about. 

☺    A memory that always makes you laugh out loud

♪     Your OTP and what do you think it says about you and the love you want/think you deserve?

♫    Style icon? Who do you wish you looked like?

♋    Secret, guilty pleasure

☯    Strangest turn on. 

✐    Tell us a bit about your first writing project you can remember. 

✒     Tell us about your favorite book

✑    The worst book you have ever read. 

ϡ     Have you ever lied or cheated to get something you wanted, whether a lover, a grade, a toy, ect?

۵    Random piece of love advice

❂  Tell us your three wishes for yourself

✬   Do you hate anything about yourself

✣   What do you think your muse says about you?/ Your mun says about you?

✌    Something you would change of the fandom/character’s universe?

✚   Religious views? Paths to said views?

❇   Tell the truth about _____ [ asker makes up question]

[meme-cafe]

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? ❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? 

eeeeeeyeah. Jealousy sucks kids, don’t do jealousy, not even once.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? 

Having been reminded that Fionn got so shafted in Fate so that someone could look better means that I’m kinda more salty than usual. It’s not like I’m low on reasons to hate Sakurai!

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

the salty af munday meme

Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

♚ How many people don't like you?

⚜ How many people do you not like?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☼ How long do you stay mad?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❦ Has someone been jealous of you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

✖

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

Can’t say it has, I’m kinda dumb when it comes to the general climate of rping but at least I can say that of what I generally see, things have gotten better.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

[♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz]

Not to my knowledge. And even then, is it really stealing? I mean, it’s gotta have some kind of value for it to count as stealing.

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

the salty af munday meme

Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

♚ How many people don't like you?

⚜ How many people do you not like?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☼ How long do you stay mad?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❦ Has someone been jealous of you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

[motherfuckingherooftheiliad]

✆

Name: Invincibro 1 (Karna)

Ringtone: Through the Fire and the Flames

Picture:

[arxchnerd-archive]

Send me a ✆ to know your name/ringtone/picture in my character’s mobile.