mourning dove poem
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@mourningdovecoos
mourning dove poem
it's hard being plucked open by such an unremarkable pain i don't even have anything particularly interesting to say. like watching a scorpion inch close.
i'm a blood-sniffing shark when i can sense love even a bit my restraint comes apart like paper in water
great job wringing raw and red the eyes that once unhooked you
i know this will end i just don't know when the nerve hammers will stop tapping
at least love polishes the bones of the face i look like raw silk when i'm in pain
i'm in pain. i'm in pain! there! i said it! i'm in pain! it beats down! it never doesn't! great job! you did it! you hurt me! you reached me! you got to me! i'll forgive you and i'll forget you but who's going to forgive me? i can't forgive myself! i can't forget myself! i can't forget being numb and pliant and trusting! i can't forget being blank and wet and smiling and sore like a knot of alpine wildflowers! i can't forget the sounds i made out of these rags of lungs that have heaved over innumerable sorrows vaster and deeper and truer and keener than you! i can't forget the dripping hours and minutes and seconds feeling you claw your way back into wakefulness and knowing you don't want to speak to me! you're forgiven you're forgotten you're already nothing you're barely anything your features are already blurring and but the pain isn't! it beats down! it never doesn't!
pain beats down it never doesn't
do you know how my body ticks your time instead of mine and i can feel you waking up and choosing not to speak to me? i can feel it in my body my abrupt heavy body it ticks like all stopped and stranded things
if i wasn't worthy of love i could've at least been worthy of trying instead my body is trying to unknit itself so i can go back to being someone who never tried for you
in my room thin pain sounds peeling off my heaving body because i ruined everything by being myself
my throat is closing
silt in my throat boot on my heart silence that swells and swells
grasping at myself
meagre poem