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Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Last Exit to Springfield
I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story." The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.
Duffless
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention! Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
Natural Born Kissers
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
Radioactive Man
The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. Me fail English? That's unpossible. D'oh.














