Rosie Taylor #Trust30

These are a collection of #trust30 submissions for The Domino Project challenge. The 30-day challenge is over, but the prompts are still coming. I learned so much during the 30-days, I decided to keep writing to stay self-reliant, look within and trust myself. 

[mytrust30]

Commitment & Being Missed

Seth Godin's post today about "Expanding the Circle of Being Missed" brought to mind a question that has been in my own mind lately about commitment and putting myself out there.

It's easy to say you are committed to something, but then there's the detail of action.  About commitment, Emerson said: 

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”

For me, I find that when I commit to something that fires me up then I make the time and find the energy to do it.  Sick, tired or stressed I get the job done. If it's something that I have been convinced to do despite a gut intuition to quit, then the sick, tired and stressed feeling take over and nothing gets done. Vicious cycle, it is.

When someone tells me that I'm handling something wrong, I value their perspective.  But there are times when the difficulty isn't so clear. Even though to the critic the answer seems so obvious. I jump to believe they're right. It's me that's wrong, not the situation.  In reality, I should look at my course of action and decide if I committed to the right situation to begin with.

Ah, self-reliance. It's a comfort to know that I do know what's best for me. Standing in that position takes courage. It takes some digging to figure out something isn't working and courage to back away.  Psychological Shrapnel, as Hugh Macleod puts it is everywhere.  

Would I be missed?  Yes.  Could I be missed by more people? Yes.  Right now, they don't know me on that wider circle, but they could if I could focus on the right situations where my heart aspires.

[mytrust30]

Not What People Think

In Self-Reliance, Emerson says: 

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think.

Some might think that's awfully selfish.  I left a regular 9 to 5 job that paid well. People thought that was selfish too.  I got the usual responses, "Why would you leave a good job?"  "But at least you had a steady paycheck."

All valid reasons to stay except when you think about it.  

People think a 'good job' is one that pays well.

My answer: Good pay is great. Doing great work that helps people is better.

People think a steady paycheck is guaranteed.

My answer: When you're constantly told that you should be 'thankful' to have a job. It gets old fast. Psychological shrapnel...I've already had my fill, thanks.

So I'll go with the Emersonian idea that what concerns me is the sole thing that should concern me. Not whether people think I'm being selfish or crazy.  I may not have reached my financial goals... yet.  I just feel my intuition pulling me in this direction. So I have to trust myself and that yearning since it fuels me with a loud, raging fire.

Funny thing is that the people who do matter are all behind me. They don't think I'm being selfish or crazy. They just know I'm doing what I need to do. They see a mom who is rocking out to her entrepreneurial spirit and loving it.  It's not what people think.  It's what I think when I look in the mirror.

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#trust30 - Fire Up

You just don't have enough bandwidth to be a control freak. Let's face it, whether you lead a team of people or you work on your own hustle, there just isn't even time, energy and talent to be spread out so thin.

So what's a foxy entrepreneur to do?  Delegate.  Riley Harrison of Getting Unstuck said in a post: 

Are you using your skills and other people’s skills to maximum advantage? Control freaks not only live life in a constricted manner, their perspective of what’s possible is diminished and their thinking isn’t pollinated with other  people’s thoughts, suggestions and contributions. 

I thought about this take on time management, but I was also reminded of my own work experience.  People on your team (that means you too, solopreneur) need to be trusted and empowered to do their job.  That's why you hired them, partnered with them, contracted with them.  Your team can be your strategic partners, contractors and your client.  By delegating the work you free yourself up for the part of your business that you just love doing.  The reason you got into business for yourself.  Let the graphic designer play with pixels, you know you're happier when you're writing blog posts.  Let the IT guy mess with your router configuration while you go out and network.  If you work in an office environment, you need to trust your staff to do the job you hired them to do.  You sought out the best talent you could find.  Now let them do it.  They're not robots.  They can think the problem through and if they trust you, they will come to you with problems early in the process.

If you're not a leader of a team, you can still delegate things understanding that you may have to reciprocate and handle some things for that person.  It isn't about passing the buck, it's about making more time for what matters to you.  Putting meaning back into your life and into the lives of those you work with.  As Steven Covey says, "Put first things first." Saying no means saying yes to the things that matter.

Photo credit: morguefile.com - SN850599 by pjh

Fire Up by Ben von Burg

“Books are the best of things, well used. What is the right use? What is the one end, which all means go to effect? They are for nothing but to inspire.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a writer, your only duty is to be original, to inspire, to put something new on paper. Don’t be reasonable – your job is to to fire up people’s imaginations, to give them permission to dream, and to lift their heads up to the incredible sight of the stars. They may forget what you wrote about – but they won’t forget how you made them feel.

It’s your turn now. Dream, be unreasonable and write what comes to you for 15 minutes.

(Author: Ben von Burg)

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#trust30 - Change Your Thinking

Our lives are filled with situations where we are not the one 'in charge' or so it may seem.  When you really think about it, you always have choices. I'm not saying the choices are always good or painless.  But we always have the option to change our circumstances.  I believe that once you make up your mind to change your thinking, you somehow see the opportunities to turn that thought into reality.

We are blinded by our own negative thinking. We let others be 'in charge'.  It doesn't have to be that way.  If we trust ourselves to know what's right, even when everyone around you has doubts, we see what we need all around us.  Don't think so, that's ok.  I know from my own personal experiences that when I want to make change from my heart, it comes together.  It took me a long time to realize that I am always in charge of my own life. Nobody is to blame for any unhappiness. If I don't like the way my life is going, then it's up to me to do something about it.  If I allow myself to be a prisoner of my own pessimism, then it's on me.  If you want to be fulfilled then it time to change your thinking. 

Change Your Thinking by Maryellen Smith

“If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

At any given point in time, you’re only one thought away from changing your thinking. What thought can you change today?

(Author: Maryellen Smith)

Photo: morgufile.com SilverFalls Trees by johninportland

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#trust30 - Original Thought

The day I wrote this post:

A Beautiful Person in Me Walking Around

I took a good look at my daughter today and saw a beautiful person.  She is a part of me so she's that beautiful part of me walking around.  Brave, spunky and ready to take on the world. Love that kid.

What inspired this post? The realization that a part of me is walking around blazing her own fiery trail. My son.  My daughter. My legacies. That day I finally felt the wonder that is a parent's pride in a warm flood of love. I had to write about it so I can relive the feeling again.  That's why we write. To relive a moment in time.  To share it with others so they can feel it too.

Original Thought by Michael Brajkovich

“The arts and inventions of each period are only its costume, and do not invigorate men.”

Think of the last time that you thought, said, or did something that was original. What inspired or invigorated this?

(Author: Michael Brajkovich)

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#trust30 - More Ordinary Things

A poster I made with Charlie Gilkey's "The Change-Maker's Creed". Oh yeah!

A dogeared folder with notes from my Firestarter Sessions.

My nook cover. bright pink with the quote: "Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale" - Hans Christian Anderson

A bright blue moleskine notebook full of Evil Plans scribbled inside that are in action. Heh!

 A teddy bear dressed like a businessman wearing an old Hard Rock Cafe button.

A thank you card from an unexpected friendship.

My house full of family doing their thing but taking time to make each other laugh, share a meal and stop for hugs. I am blessed with ordinary things and little moments in between.

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#trust30 - Ordinary Things

Ordinary Things that are Beautiful to Me

The pipe cleaner bouquet my daughter made for me that sits on my desk. Fuzzy, colorful coils made with love.

Cheeky little handwritten note my hubby left on behind as a surprise the first time he visited my office two years ago.

The exquisite Swarovski crystals my mum-in-law strung together into a sphere of prismatic wonder. It catches the sunlight and casts its brilliant rays into the room where we all spend hours together.

The pungent smell of fresh ground coffee as I make the first pot for the day.

The steam from a morning scone as I break it open.

The sleepy, half awake smile my husband gives me as he wanders into the room lured by the smell of coffee and dreams of bacon.

The bright smile of my daughter as she spies something purple. (She loves purple.)

The boyish chuckle of my 18-year old son whose is obviously a man, but I still see as my baby.

The Polaroid of my Uncle who inspired me to follow my dreams since I was too young to know better.

The ordinary sounds of my whole family in the house looking for something to eat, watching TV, playing video games on the computer or just laying on the sofa listening to an iPod.  Ordinary things.... wonderful things.

Ordinary Things by Ana Guardia

“Every artist was first an amateur.”

To be an artist one has to find beauty in ordinary things. Find 10 things of great beauty in the landscape that surrounds you. For example, crumple sheets on your bed in the morning, the smell of coffee making its way around a busy office.

(Author: Ana Guardia)

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mytrust#30 - Deep in Your Soul

What words are deep inside me?

With all the recent changes in the world, on the internet, US economy and technology we seem to lose sight of some really fundamental issues.  Behind every combination of binary and collection of pixels there is a human being.  Someone with a beating heart, a mind full of thoughts and a soul full of passion.  No matter how fast our world becomes everything we work at is driven by people.  We should never forget that the next time we hit send on an email, post a comment on a blog or tweet to hundreds of followers.

There is great potential in our ability to mass communicate, but there has to a space to think first. We all want to have our voices heard and understood. That's a human need to be part of something bigger than ourselves. Organizations and individuals should make 'acting human' priority one every day.  The world would be a better place for it.

Deep in Your Soul by Michael McFadden

“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

What message is yearning inside you?  What is something you know deep in your soul?  Don’t look for someone else to describe it.  You do it.  Write it down.  Write it as a poem, a sentence or even just a string of words.  Just make sure you get it to paper.

(Author: Michael McFadden)

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#trust30 - Legacy

I would like my legacy to be that of a humanist. Someone who wanted to make small changes for the better and to help improve the lives of people who come in contact with me. I want to leave a mark that provokes a smile or a chuckle. 

What am I doing? This year I adopted three words as signposts whenever my plans go astray: Doing, Being, Finish.  So far, I've managed to live my life with these three words in the background as a touch point.  I can look at them and see if I've connected.  Now I've made an effort to be true to myself and somehow I attracted several opportunities both big and small to live an authentic life.  

From finding this #trust30 challenge to discovering a new business opportunity. And as luck would have it, (luck and a little law of attraction) this prompt comes on my first full day as an independent marketing consultant.

Whatever my legacy looks like in the end, I won't physically be there to know. All I can do is be true to myself, self-reliant and trust that when I put a true intention behind something it'll create fertile ground for something wonderful to happen.

Legacy by Tim Belber

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

One definition of legacy is what someone feels, thinks and says when they hear your name. What are you doing today to build the legacy you want?

(Author: Tim Belber)

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#trust30 - Mirror Mirror

Today I look in the mirror and I see a woman who has taken a leap. The sleepiness in her eyes is hidden behind a wide smile that says, Hell Yeah!  She has a few wrinkles around her eyes from laughing all the time. Laughing is a good thing. I see small signs of aging here and there. Kind friends and family will deny that they're even there.  We know better, right mirror?

But that's ok. Small wrinkles, slightly saggy neckline... they're all signs of aging and wisdom.  It's not the "know it all" kind of wisdom, but more the "been there, done that" sort.  The wisdom that comes from making mistakes and still having the strength to dust myself off and try again.  The wisdom that says, "This time try to plan things out better."

Yes, the woman in the mirror is a bit wise, a bit silly and just a little smart. Glad to know you've got my back.

Mirror, Mirror by Esther Poyer

“Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mirror, mirror on the wall… find the nearest mirror. Look. Keep looking for 3 minutes. Write about what you see.

(Author: Esther Poyer)

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#trust30 - Spare Moments

Spare moments. We all say we're too busy. No time for play. No time for lazy days. No time to read a book.  No time for love.  Is it that we have no time or are we just wasting those spare moments?

Do we wake up a little earlier so we can pour out our soul in written words?  Do we stay up a little later so we can snuggle as we drift off to sleep? Do we stop working for a little while to have coffee with loved ones?  Do we stop surfing the internet to admire a handmade card made by our daughters?

Guard those spare moments. There are dozen of opportunities to create them. In between those harried times when we are running errands, commuting or working. It only takes a few minutes to connect, to slow down and appreciate a small bright space full of love.

Thanks to @juliejordanscot for providing a prompt instead of grumbling about no #trust30 posting on Saturday:

"Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

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#trust30 - Nothing to Lose

The words I would speak today if I have nothing to lose: Keep your psychological shrapnel the hell away from me.

I would tell anyone hurled 'psychological shrapnel' (as only Hugh McLeod could put it) at me to keep the hell away from me. Every year I grow less and less intolerant of it. I used to take the time to try and explain to them WHY they were making me feel pain. Only to be disappointed the next day, week, or month when they did it again. People who like drama or just don't do well with confrontation (fear of facing the truth) won't listen to me anyway. They'd rather keep on truckin' in their dysfunctional comfort zone. Hurling their grenades of dissatisfaction with their own lives. It feels too good to them. Why should they care if it hurts me? So now my uncensored soul would say, "Keep the hell away from me. I'm not buying ... EVER." And then I would let them see my smile.

Photo credit: ppdigital from morguefile.com

Nothing to Lose by Tanner Christensen

“Self-censorship is not just self-betrayal and self-abandonment (which would be bad enough), but soul-betrayal and betrayal of our Muse, out inner voice, our highest self.”

Too often we censor ourselves, our actions, and our work in hope or fear of what might happen if we otherwise don’t. What words would you write today, and what actions would you take, if you had nothing to fear, nothing to lose?

(Author: Tanner Christensen)

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#trust30 - Worthwhile Day

I thought about this idea of a worthwhile day and at first I fearlessly said, "What am I afraid to do? Not much.  I'm leaving a secure job for entrepreneurship.  I'm courageous!"  

 Money isn't the motivator.

Then I stepped back as I realized that there is something I've been putting off.  Whenever something is new to me, resistance rears its ugly head in the form of procrastination. I need to make three sales calls.  Sales can be a scary thing because I'm not used to it.  But I believe in what I do and I need to get more comfortable with it.  I'm in it to help people not sell them something they don't need.  So here goes.... I did make one of the calls and I wrote emails to the other two to call them tomorrow.  The one call I made, we closed the deal.  She's now a client.  Can I go two for two?  I'll try! One thing is for sure... it was a worthwhile day.  I learned that I can "sell" because I love what I do.

Photo: dollar bills 55 by Alvimann - morguefile.com

Worthwhile Day by Jessica Dang

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”

What is one thing you can do that would make today worthwhile? What’s stopping you from getting started right now?

(Author: Jessica Dang)

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#trust30 - Be You

I am the undying spark that ignites dreams and passion to live a life that shines brightly until it is a wasted pile of ash satisfied that it gave warmth to those who stayed near.

Be You by Elizabeth Presson

In one sentence, who are you?

(Author: Elizabeth Presson)

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#trust30 - Number 1 Passion

My #1 Passion: Help people live their dreams while I chase my own.

I don't know why I get so much satisfaction from seeing other people get their AHA moment. There's something about connecting with someone when they learn something new, succeed against all odds or just have an epiphany.  Every time I'm able to help someone, I seem to get a realization of my own.  Never underestimate the power of helping and giving.  It's powerful stuff.  I try to live my #1 Passion every day.  Even when I'm grumpy I try to remember that most things are temporary.  Time wears down the hardest skin of whatever is going wrong. Time allows me to regroup and find out why I'm not happy.  Usually it's because I've done something contradictory to my own goals or values.  Staying true to myself is essential to making room for my passion. Whenever I deviate from that, things just don't work out. I guess that's part of what Emerson says. You need to trust yourself in the process in order to be self-reliant. Amen.

[mytrust30]

#trust30 - Energy

Energy comes from being deeply connected to who I'm with and what I'm doing. Lately that energy comes from working on my new business with my husband sitting at his desk next to me.  I can look over at him and get that reassuring smile.  The look of, "I have no bloody idea what you're doing there, but I'm behind you all the way."

The energy is really intense and powerful. I feel alive and happy. Occasionally scared at the thought of leaving a 'secure' job for living as an entrepreneur. Then that energy returns and says, "Ok, this is new, but look at the possibilities. It's all in your hands."

The energy keeps me going till 3am with ideas, opening my brain up to use whatever skills are needed for the task at hand.  Yes, I'm working very hard.  But the energy is driving everything.  I'm composing an email blast, working on a graphic, writing web copy. Suddenly, it's all gelling.  Everything just seemingly falls into place.  It feels natural and satisfying all at once. Even when a problem crops up, my mind is immediately moving onto the solution.  Possibility is in everything. Thanks to energy.

Finding a driving passion creates boundless energy to get through the work and be receptive to the potential all around you. It's relaxed and almost zen. If we're lacking energy, it's probably because we aren't connected.  

We're just going through the motions to pay the bills.  Think about what you'd rather be doing. If you're connected to your genuine self, then you are doing it.  If not, then you'll feel like a kid at the window watching other kids laughing and running at the playground outside. Our own choice.  The door is right there. Go outside and play!

Energy by Julia E

“The world belongs to the energetic.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

  It’s easy to blame our failure to meet our goals or to live our dream lives on a lack of energy, and we don’t always stop to think about the quality of energy in our lives. Yet we can choose to create and manage our own energy flow.

Think of an instance when you’ve been so involved in an activity that you’ve lost track of time, and then identity the passions and energies you were feeding. Who was there with you? What were you doing? What will you do to make time for moments like that one more often?

(Author: Julia E)

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#trust30 - What Would You Be

In a year, I would be a professional writer, location-independent writing short stories, articles and essays about people from around the world. I would travel to new places every month and write about the people I encounter.  I would live the rest of my life connecting with other cultures and probably discovering just how the same we all are once you get past language, food and which side of the road you drive on.  I would be part philosopher, part explorer and part adventurer as I take in the majesty of new landscapes and how that shapes a person's perspectives.  Life would certainly look different from the top of a mountain. I would be someone who doesn't think in terms of career, but more in terms of just living.

What would you be by Ryan Allis

If a year from now you weren’t in the profession you’re currently in, what would you be in your wildest dreams?

(Author: Ryan Allis)