How The Fault In Our Stars Impacted Me
I needed to put my thoughts about TFIOS in writing. I am a childhood cancer survivor (neuroblastoma) but I do not remember my battle as I was only 6 months old. The novel gave me a rare insight into what it would have been like if I was old enough to remember my treatment and life with the disease. I am not sure if this is a naive perspective but it is what I felt. People always ask me about my treatment and what it was like and I can never tell them, because I do not know, I always have to refer them to my parents who had to deal with it 6 months after their first child was born. Don't get me wrong I am glad I do not remember because it would not have been pleasant but I have always felt like a third person when my parents talk about what I went through or when I tell people I am a survivor. The book helped me understand what the world around me might have been like and how I would have had to deal with treatment. I have never experienced this with any other book or movie about people who have cancer or who are living with a disease. I thank John Green for this perspective.
I was lucky enough to watch the advanced screening of TFIOS in Australia. I was perfect, the movie affected me on so many levels. Watching a younger Hazel suffer with cancer pre miracle made me incredibly emotional as all I could think about were my parents and what they went through with me. All I could picture was them having to take me to appointments, hold me down for needles and care for me 24/7. I am thankful I got a glimpse at my parents strength. I can truly appreciate how much my parents hurt seeing me so ill and I can truly appreciate their strength and resilience. I was further affected by the rest of the story, just as I was affected by the book, I don't think I have ever sobbed in a movie, but it happened when I watched the characters of Hazel and Gus on screen. I think I was emotional for different reasons than my friends sitting next to me, illustrating how powerful this story is.
I cannot grasp why, but I was so emotionally invested in this book and movie, like I have never been with any other text. Pain demands to be felt and I think this story made me realise in some ways I still feel it. I do not know if any of this makes sense to any one but me but all I know is that from experiencing this story I appreciate my parents more, my life more and my history more. I live by a quote from Looking For Alaska 'we can never be irreparably broken' but The Fault In Our Stars gave me a great perspective on my life, my family and my past.
