and all i did was worship
âYou go before I know
that You've even gone to win my war
Your love becomes my greatest defense
it leads me from the dry wilderness
and all I did was praise
and all I did was worship
and all I did was bow down
and all I did was stay stillâ
- Defender, Rita Springer
This captures so well how truly truly nothing that I have or feel or know is from my own strength. Any striving of my own is in vain without Godâs will. I know I wonât always feel it this strongly, and there are upcoming seasons where I will feel like God has taken things from me, but note to future self, remember that the things I do have and have had in the past and will have in the future are all because He gives, and because He is on my side. He gives faith to believe, willingness to pray, desire to read the Word, a passion for His people. He gives jobs, health, family, friends, relationships, a home. He gives understanding, wisdom, love, hope, peace, rest, sleep, food, literally... everything.
Itâs a weird feeling sometimes â I feel bad when I feel like I didnât do much but God gave me something. Like I should have worked for it harder, or I should have contributed more. What did I do to deserve this job? What did I do to deserve this life? What did I do to deserve bliss when Iâm happy and the ability to recover when Iâm in despair? Seriously God what have I done to deserve the outpouring of Your love and kindness to me?! But over and over again, God reminds me that it is He who gives and me who receives. He is God and I am not. Sometimes I feel bad when I whine and complain, ask for things, and blab to him about my feelings. Sometimes I feel bad that I feel like Iâm just closing my eyes, opening my hands out to Him, and being like, âokay God, whatcha got?â But what have I got to offer anyways? I have nothing close to Jesusâs righteousness, His graciousness, His kindness, His perfection. I have nothing to offer but worship. My worship, my heart, my love, my life.
I even feel bad that all I have to do is worship. All I have to do is love Him and love His people. All I have to do is regard Him highly and remember Him in all things, to glorify Him in all things. Itâs that easy, and itâs still so hard. All we have to do is love Him and love His people. All we have to do is worship. And still, that is the fight of our lives.
titsay
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tangentwithtanner
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