confessional @nohappy-end - Tumblr Blog

o1ie

brb going outside to wistfully observe the reflections of the shop lights in the wet streets

o1ie

thats what im fucking talking about

4AM Cries

its funny how when you were a baby

every cry was an emergency,

every tear was an alarm rung

but as you grow up,

you learn to cry in private,

muffle the sounds before they can echo and dry the tears before they can land.

your first breath is accompanied by a cry

a cry longed for, a cry to that says “here I am”,

and now you pray your last finds you dry, you pray to leave a single tear that says “here I was”.

you could cry for days, and be cuddled and comforted through it all,

and now to cry is to beg for attention

“a cry for help”,

i no longer cry because i need help,

i cry because i’ve lost hope that someone is coming,

i cry because there’s no one to hear the echoes,

i cry because the tears feel like a warm embrace,

i cry because i’m afraid that if i stop, i will realize that there was never anybody there to hear me.

no alarms rung.

no emergency.

just me, and my 4AM cries.

#latenightpoems #original poem

nohappy-end

11:25 PM

Sorry, I wasn’t listening.

The words that came out of your mouth got drown in my ears, all I could hear was the echo of your beautiful voice.

I was hypnotized by the sound your lips make when you say babe and the way it moves when you call my name.

Sorry, I wasn’t listening, again.

You call my name once, twice, and the third time I see the way your eyebrows frown, the way you look at me, trying to figure out where’s my head at.

“Can you listen?”, no, I can’t. I can’t listen to you anymore because I just noticed something. I just noticed the million ways your body talks, the ways it tells me all this amazing things more clearly than your words could ever.

I suddenly become deaf as my eyes see clearer than ever, my love, you are so goddamn breathtaking but can you please shut up and just let your body do the talking?

nohappy-end

i miss being inspired by love

I’m learning to knit, crochet and cross stitching!! my this time next year i’ll have gained 3 skills 🤗

every so often i reread this quick poem i wrote my sophomore year of college, i always managed to bring every assignment back to the same topic 😭

“ a scream reaches beneath the sound of thunder and by fear, I bolt.

the frown on your face is illuminated by the lightning bolt.

the train happily reached the station, we filled it with all this hate;

it departs. I shake, too late. You’ve unscrewed the so hollow bolt.

in a sigh, you communicate all of your frustrations

manual in hand, you bawl: «so many different kinds of bolts»

and then I wonder if to build a poem is to build a house?

thunder again and the screaming again, I am scared, so I bolt.

now derailed the train zig-zags, spewing out hate words, she hates me.

it stops. I shake, too late. Our love, gone as fast as a lightning bolt. ”

#sophomoreyearpoems

fairycosmos

what is it about getting older that makes every interaction feel so fucking sentimental? like saying goodbye to people used to just be a “see you around” sort of thing, and now it’s a whole declaration of love for the person and the position they’ve held in my life condensed into a hug or a “take care of yourself”

bookmark-spill

shows i need to rewatch immediately pt 1

blame this tweet (x)

userparamore

javarisx-fightingthosedemons

Spring

Lily for motherhood and death.

At the start of my second spring,

my mother decided it was best

to send me to my grandfather’s home,

in Mali.

At the end of my thirteenth spring,

my father passed away.

Oak for strength.

We took a cab and left for the airport.

The last image I had

was of him waving goodbye

at the gates.

Basil for good wishes.

It was chilly outside

so my mother covered me in layers of clothes

and slipped my tiny feet in a pair of boots.

It is always so cold in airports,

yet tourists were wearing summer clothing.

White carnation for innocence and pure love.

I remember the smile on her face

contradicting the tears in the corner of her eyes.

He was trying not to cry

but I was rushing to go back home.

Daisy for innocence and hope.

The flight was early

so we left before the sun rose.

The sun was setting

and the plane was already boarding passengers.

Forget-me-not for memories.

I remember the many pictures that were taken,

capturing my naive face.

He gave me a camera as a goodbye gift

and he said to me: “I put some good pictures of me in it,

but don’t show your mom”.

Aloe Vera for healing protection and affection.

She told me many times what was going on

but I was not sure why it was a big deal,

we move around all the time.

He hugged me too tight

and repeated that I was too young to be traveling

back and forth by myself all the time.

Bluebell for humility and kindness.

I ran around the airport,

so happy to be

in a place so huge and bright.

I smiled,

and told him that I would love to make money off it.

Amaryllis for pride.

My cuddly toy in my hands

as I dragged it everywhere.

And with my luggage in hand

I walked away till the very last stop.

Sunflower for adoration.

All I wanted to do was play

with those blue baskets.

All I wanted to do was to go

back to my home.

Lavender for virtue and loyalty.

She did not let go of my hand for a long time,

scared for reasons

I didn’t get.

I didn’t turn around.

Violet for devotion and faithfulness.

Just like that,

I took my first flight.

Just like that,

I never saw him again.

- by me 🩷

#poetry #writers and poets #poem

nohappy-end

1:06AM

in your arms I died, my eyes closed as you strengthened your grip and my heart beat got slower and slower until it stopped. Une petite mort, that’s what they call it, a little death in your arms.

in your arms I resurrected, my heart beat getting faster and my eyes slowing opening, I look at your face and its just blank. What happened?

what do you see when you look at me? Is it still the girl you used to scare, the girl you were scared to break, the girl who had all of your attention? Or am I now a body simply bleeding out your love? What did I really lose in your arms, is it my life or yours?

nohappy-end

2:42PM

But now that we don’t love each other like we used to, who will read my mind like he used to? Who will make me laugh for hours or smile so big that my cheeks hurt ? Who will make me vibrate, feel like adrenaline running down my spine, feel the butterflies in me fighting to get out, just by looking at me in the eyes ? Who will solve the charade of my heart ? Who will sing the ballad of my soul ? Who will decipher the mystery of me ? You knew me like no one ever did, you showed your love for me like no one ever did, you took my heart in your hands and read my story, you understood it, you understood me.

nohappy-end

11:25 PM

Sorry, I wasn’t listening.

The words that came out of your mouth got drown in my ears, all I could hear was the echo of your beautiful voice.

I was hypnotized by the sound your lips make when you say babe and the way it moves when you call my name.

Sorry, I wasn’t listening, again.

You call my name once, twice, and the third time I see the way your eyebrows frown, the way you look at me, trying to figure out where’s my head at.

“Can you listen?”, no, I can’t. I can’t listen to you anymore because I just noticed something. I just noticed the million ways your body talks, the ways it tells me all this amazing things more clearly than your words could ever.

I suddenly become deaf as my eyes see clearer than ever, my love, you are so goddamn breathtaking but can you please shut up and just let your body do the talking?

nohappy-end

11:25 PM

Sorry, I wasn’t listening.

The words that came out of your mouth got drown in my ears, all I could hear was the echo of your beautiful voice.

I was hypnotized by the sound your lips make when you say babe and the way it moves when you call my name.

Sorry, I wasn’t listening, again.

You call my name once, twice, and the third time I see the way your eyebrows frown, the way you look at me, trying to figure out where’s my head at.

“Can you listen?”, no, I can’t. I can’t listen to you anymore because I just noticed something. I just noticed the million ways your body talks, the ways it tells me all this amazing things more clearly than your words could ever.

I suddenly become deaf as my eyes see clearer than ever, my love, you are so goddamn breathtaking but can you please shut up and just let your body do the talking?

nohappy-end

2:42PM

But now that we don’t love each other like we used to, who will read my mind like he used to? Who will make me laugh for hours or smile so big that my cheeks hurt ? Who will make me vibrate, feel like adrenaline running down my spine, feel the butterflies in me fighting to get out, just by looking at me in the eyes ? Who will solve the charade of my heart ? Who will sing the ballad of my soul ? Who will decipher the mystery of me ? You knew me like no one ever did, you showed your love for me like no one ever did, you took my heart in your hands and read my story, you understood it, you understood me.

nohappy-end

1:06AM

in your arms I died, my eyes closed as you strengthened your grip and my heart beat got slower and slower until it stopped. Une petite mort, that’s what they call it, a little death in your arms.

in your arms I resurrected, my heart beat getting faster and my eyes slowing opening, I look at your face and its just blank. What happened?

what do you see when you look at me? Is it still the girl you used to scare, the girl you were scared to break, the girl who had all of your attention? Or am I now a body simply bleeding out your love? What did I really lose in your arms, is it my life or yours?

nohappy-end

Some of my memories see to be vague ideas of a time where I wasnt me, I see myself, talking, moving but I dont see me.

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