.

.

[nolongerhere220]

So this blog isn’t going to be active anymore (check the new name) and a lot of you probably won’t hear from me ever again. This is to make up for all the pain and destruction I’ve caused to the PO fandom.

please do not worry about me because you have nothing to worry about. Whatever happens to me will be for the best. I know my place in this and whatever happens, it’ll be what I deserve.

please do not reach out and attempt to make contact with me.

[blahajvhs]

Diddy Kong Racing promo VHS - 1997

Diddy Kong plush - 2010

[nolongerhere220]

I don’t even care about being palatable at this point since I know this entire fandom hates me

This song is gonna be my #1 on my Spotify wrapped this year thank you punch out fandom 😛

[nolongerhere220]

BNL FAN SPOTTED >:0 !!!!! WHATS UR FAVE BNL SONGS 👀👀 I'm currently loving Rule The World With Love, A and Told You So :3c

I’m supposed to be on break rn but Box/Set is my all time fav, War On Drugs is so good that I can’t listen to it without sobbing, and McDonald’s Girl is my gender

[nolongerhere220]

I need somewhere to host my af card sorry

[parttimetimetravellermaybe]

fossil theme (i just had to make a divider for artfight okay)

small version:

tiny version:

[nolongerhere220]

also. Im going to be on team fossils this artfight if anyone wants to attack me!

might not get much done in return tho bc

I’m supposed to be on a social media break I’m just breaking that rn. So I won’t see as many character sheets and stuff

Medical procedure/surgery that requires prep and recovery is occurring next month so I might not feel good 😭

[lakevida]

kid in the library just said "a VILLAIN who lives in the MOON is after us" so keep an eye out for that today guys

[nolongerhere220]

I’m supposed to be on a tumblr break but I figure, per usual, Jumanji-blr is starving

Monkey Ouioui and I got to see the movie in the theater where it debuted for its 30th anniversary! We even got to see the original board game prop, as well as the actor for Peter! Best movie about CPTSD that pretends it’s not about that ever

(Crowd members who snuck into my pics have been censored)

[nolongerhere220]

I checked my notes (I had someone else scan them for safety before so I wasn’t too worried) and I have new punch-out blogs following me 🧍‍♂️

I’m sorry that my previous post is probably the first one you saw on your dash from me lol, I’m trying to stay off social media for the moment

[nolongerhere220]

“Aren’t you on social media rn” can’t a Mac introject fail his mental health break in peace /lh

[radioactive41i3n]

He's late for school 🎒🥖🩷🎀🥐🌟

[nolongerhere220]

I checked my notes (I had someone else scan them for safety before so I wasn’t too worried) and I have new punch-out blogs following me 🧍‍♂️

I’m sorry that my previous post is probably the first one you saw on your dash from me lol, I’m trying to stay off social media for the moment

[bahari-official]

me: i wanna talk about my ocs

someone: ok tell me about your ocs

me, suddenly convinced that every single thing about my ocs is stupid and cringy and probably offensive: i. have them

[is-the-salmon-horny]

Salmon from the song “In The Drink” by Barenaked Ladies?

(Just trust me on this one)

This salmon is ✅ Horny!

[skels-pixel-art]

he's on an important mission to save his friend

(click for higher quality)

[homkamiro]

Sorry dudes can't resist the opportunity to draw buff men half naked and full of comical shapes

[nolongerhere220]

Hey so I’m still not going to be active on here for the time being, I’m coming in bc I had someone skim my notifs for me to make sure the account was safe to check so I’m here to issue a quick apology

For the people that witnessed my mental breakdown on Saturday I’m extremely sorry, I won’t go into detail about the state of my mental health since I don’t want to traumadump but the gist of it is after a falling out with someone in the fandom at the end of January I have had basically non-stop issues w/ the punch out fandom since, which caused me to enter a months-long depressive period that I’m still in although I’m getting slightly better as long as I’m not being actively triggered.

I didn’t handle the situation with GlobOfChaos 100% appropriately and I am open about admitting that, especially after talking to multiple people who were informed on what went down between us. I shouldn’t have continued to post about them publicly and I definitely shouldn’t have been keeping tabs on them as a way of sh, and I shouldn’t have been celebrating their deactivation. These are not excuses for my behavior but my reasoning for each of these is as follows:

1) because I didn’t maintag any of the posts about them beyond the initial one, I didn’t think anyone would see them. I also tried not to name drop them specifically - I was venting my frustrations but I shouldn’t have done it on a public platform

2) I was mentally self harming, firstly, and secondly, I wanted to see who was still interacting with them. (See below)

3) I have OCD and for basically the entire month after our falling out I was having obsessive thoughts about it and fighting off compulsions. I have huge anxiety around being spied on in general and having to block someone in the fandom I’m active in doesn’t help with that, so I was constantly paranoid about someone who I considered my friend being a “double agent” and reporting back to Globbo about me and how I felt, trying to collect “evidence” on me, etc. this is obviously an irrational thought pattern but when I’m spiraling I cannot reason with myself and say it is. The reason I said “yippee” to them deactivating is not because I wanted them off the platform, but because it effectively dispelled that particular intrusive thought. Still doesn’t mean I was correct in doing so, though.

I’m still not talking to Globbo for the time being because I don’t think a friendship between the two of us could work but I wish them no harm and they don’t want harm to come to me either, as I was told via a mutual friend of both of us. Globbo can share their feelings on this if they want to and the reason they deactivated if they want to, that’s not my info or decision to share. But they didn’t deactivate because I was “bullying them off the platform” and have said as much.

As for the aftermath of the “callout”, I handled it inappropriately. I should not have posted images of my self harm nor should I have talked about the intrusive thoughts that I was having. My reasoning at the time was that I thought that was what people wanted to see from me and what they wanted me to do; I felt so incredibly guilty for extremely minor actions that I felt as if I deserved to be raped or killed for them, and I did and posted the self harm because i thought it would be a good compromise for the fact I couldn’t effectively cause the suffering I thought I deserved to face. In my mind at the time, I thought people like Globbo, Four, and some of the people who were interacting with me would feel happy to see those posts and I valued their happiness over the potential of triggering others.

Obviously this was not correct and I’m once again not trying to excuse my behavior because it was wrong. I just want people to know that I’m sorry that I did those things, and that my intention was not to hurt people. I was not in the correct state of mind and I figured that people wanted me to hurt myself because of what I mentioned above. With the exception of one person, everyone I’ve spoken to has explicitly told me they didn’t want me to hurt myself, including Globbo.

Regardless, I’m sorry and I’m going to continue staying off Tumblr for the time being until I’m more mentally stable and have like any amount of self worth at all