my jobs are normal

ya boi has two jobs - Kircle C and Caising Rane's [names changed for legal reasons] and this shit really fucking happens

[normal-work-day]

Howdy howdy, friends!

These are all stories from both of my jobs, as well as any other weird stories I remember from previous jobs. All stories posted here are true.

For context - I live in a city and work on a college campus. So things get reeeeeeeeal weird, in unexpected ways.

Thanks for reading, y'all! I hope you like these wacky antics and odd experiences!

[normal-work-day]

So my coworker told me a story today

Apparently the other day at work (KircleC) someone came up to the counter and asked for a black & mild, which is a popular cigarillo that's mainly used as a blunt; a normal request.

My coworker, let's call him Q, asked if he wanted plastic or wood tip. The customer, let's call him Dummy, walks over to the door and yells at another guy in his work truck if he wants plastic or wood tip

{Now, for those of you who don't know, buying something age-restricted for someone else is called a third party sale. Third party sales are NOT allowed, no matter what. Which is especially important for my store because we're on a college campus}

So, when he returns to the counter, Q informs him that he can't complete the sale because he knows it for someone else.

Bro is stumped. Has a legit mouth-hanging-open moment of confusion. He composes himself after a moment and conjures a very good argument -

(Dummy) "I was just talking to an invisible person."

My coworker was dumbfounded, but we work customer service, so he recovered quickly.

(Q) "What."

(Dummy) "Can't we just pretend I was talking to an invisible person?"

(Q) "No, dude. No. Is there anything else I can get you?"

Dummy proceeded to get angry and start arguing with Q, but hit him with this line after a minute or so:

(Dummy) "Y'know I think murder is ok as long as I know that person."

(Q) "...what? Dude, get out. You just threatened me, I'm calling the cops."

Dummy was slowly walking to the door, still arguing.

(Q) "I'm gonna call your boss!"

At that point, dude was out the door and didn't hear Q. But him and the guy he was trying to buy a cigarillo for were in a company vehicle.

Q calls the company office and gets in contact with the Dummy's boss, who says he's coming to the store immediately. He arrives after a bit and my coworker tells him the full story.

The boss wasn't surprised. He fucking nodded - he wasn't shocked. Which is terrifying but hey, at least he knew who Q was talking about XD

And the work day went on.

[normal-work-day]

So the other day at Kircle C, a Sheriff came in (yikes), and came right up to the counter. Bro was on a MISSION.

I acted Totally Chill And Cool™ and -

(Officer): Hello. Does Georgina work here?

(Me): Uh...I dunno, lemme check.

This was like...my fourth day here. Obviously I never give out ANY info about my coworkers, but dude was a cop. I felt like I had to. So I check Legion (our scheduling app), and find that no one with that name works here.

(Me): Nah dude, sorry.

(Officer): Oh, no worries! I just have to give her this.

Bro flashes a subpoena. A SUBPOENA. He casually laughs and leaves and I tell him to have a great day.

I tell my boss about it later and she tells me that Georgina had been fired for stealing alcohol a couple weeks back (⁠@⁠_⁠@⁠)

The cop was nice, but still, acab.

[normal-work-day]

9/4/24 - Kircle C

I come in and the store's a mess. The coworker before me left early because "I always come in early", as if that's a reason to leave early. Bruh.

He left the new hire here alone.

The store's trashed.

The handheld (basically a store assistant scanner doohickey) is broken, so I can't do my lotto or cig counts. Or waste anything.

The front counter freezers are broken and leaking as they defrost. It's not that big of a deal, or at least it wouldn't have been, if the food captain (yes that is actually what they're called here) had emptied it out before it started to defrost, and maybe put away the muffins laying on the counter since they're supposed to be frozen, too.

My double coverage comes in, buys himself cigarettes from behind the counter ((((very not allowed))), and leaves. I find out later that he "decided" he was gonna work 3rd shift today? As if??? That's a thing you can do????????

I've been running the store by myself all shift and honestly? That's fine. It's better than working with my supposed double coverage cuz that guy suuuuuucks. Plus I ran every shift by myself at my old store too so shwhateves ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But hey, the store's clean, things are done, and I'm epic ✌️😎

[normal-work-day]

That moment when a customer hands you money and you peep their swastika tattoo?????

WHOMS'T'VE????

[normal-work-day]

For my inaugural post, I'll tell you the tale of the weirdest work experience I've ever had.

So, I had been working at this particular Kircle C for only 2 weeks. It was my second-ever gas station job and I hardly knew what I was doing.

On this particular day, the store was busy.

I watched as my coworkers ran the registers, trying to learn as much as I could while not getting overwhelmed, when they decided it was my turn to run the register.

I'm left there alone and just had to figure it out.

I got through a couple transactions and was starting to gain confidence, when a disheveled looking woman came up to the register, holding a number of things. A gallon of milk, a smoothie, a coffee, a donut, a muffin, and a couple other things. I start to scan the items and notice that she'd drank the entire smoothie, taken a sip out of the gallon of milk, and taken a bite of the donut.

When I tell her the total, she hands me some crumpled bills, and it's not enough. I tell her she needs more money, but she won't listen. She keeps saying "it's enough, it's enough", and I look to my manager for help.

She comes over and I step away and they start talking -

(Manager): Your total is $32, you need $12 to pay.

(Woman): No I don't. I just take it. I'll take it.

(M): No. You can't "just take it". You have to pay for it.

(W): No, it's fine, I just take it. In my country we just take it.

(M): Well this is AMERICA. And here you have to PAY FOR THINGS. And since you already drank things and took a bite out of the donut, we have to throw it away! So get out, and don't come back!

The woman kept grumbling and starting leaving, but taking her sweet time doing it. Eventually she was gone.

My manager turned to me and promised it wasn't always like this, and begged me not to quit. I laughed it off and told her I wouldn't quit as I started cleaning up the items the woman left there. We had to dump the milk and toss the smoothie and the donut, but we were able to put the other items back. However, when I went to pour out the coffee, I discovered something...interesting.

There wasn't coffee in there. It was full of beans, full sugar packets, and an ungodly amount of creamer.

We had to dump out all of the bean containers on the coffee machines because she'd stuck her hands in them.

Once it was all over, my manager came over to me -

(M): I can't believe we had to waste so much product because of her. That sucks

(Me): Yea, but at least she didn't destroy anything, right? *nervous chuckle*

(M): You don't even know the worst part.

(Me): What's the worst part??

(M): You know how she had a blanket wrapped around her waist?

(Me): Yea???

(M): At one point, she dropped it. And, uh...she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

(Me): щ⁠(⁠゜⁠ロ⁠゜⁠щ⁠)

--------------------------------

The situation was definitely tense, especially since my coworkers were running the other register and there were still a lot of customers around. And the "this is AMERICA" bit definitely irked me (republican-coded asf); but in the end it's become my all-time favorite work story *ever*.

Gotta love working at a gas station.