idk

[enamouredpoet-deactivated202205]

[byrneing]

friend: how are you me: 

[notsureaboutthisnow]

Update 8/11

Had to travel unexpectedly for a family emergency last weekend. Super weird flying during covid and I didn’t eat very healthy at all so I backtracked.

My weight jumped back up to 142 as of yesterday, which I’m trying not to be bummed about. I think/I hope I’m just holding a lot of water because of the weird crazy weekend.

but either way I’m back on track now and feeling good again today. Got healthy groceries to prep meals from Trader Joe’s, did a full body workout this morning and am doing a spin class for cardio tonight. Gonna cook when I get home tonight. I am finally starting to like cooking again which is huge!

[lifeinpoetry]

“but i’m not an easy woman / and why would you want to be?”

— — Jenny Zhang, from “jenny’s trying / victoria’s theme,” My Baby First Birthday

[notsureaboutthisnow]

Log 7/28:

Weigh-in this morning put me at 139.6lbs. Given that I was at 145 on 7/24 I know this is mostly water weight. But I feel much better already.

It’s crazy how after I start taking care of myself again for even a few days my body is instantly like “woo thanks I can let go of all this now”.

Anyway, today I was off work so I probably overdid it a little on the workouts. Hiked 4.8 miles in the morning and did a cycling class at night. My body hurts.

Think I’ll take some pics for progress updates tomorrow.

[chrismaggio]

[squidwurd]

all around me are familiar faces

worn out places

worn out faces

[eliminated]

[notsureaboutthisnow]

Here we go.

I haven’t used this as a fitness blog in literally years, but I need to a place to document this journey I’m about to start and I’m too insecure to do it on Instagram so this is as good a place as any.

The goal is to get into the athletic range for body fat %. Finally. And to get my diet in a healthy, consistent place.

Weight loss in pounds is less important but for me that’s probably gonna mean losing at least 15lbs and maybe up to about 25lbs overall, depending on how much muscle is gained in the process. I have zero right now.

I’m starting at 145lbs, and am going to get my body fat tested this week to see where I’m starting, though I’d estimate at least 25%.

Okay! Time to finally hold myself accountable.

[daisychainsandsunrays]

Racism is a feminist issue.

Homophobia is a feminist issue.

Transphobia is a feminist issue.

Islamophobia is a feminist issue.

Anti-semitism is a feminist issue.

Ableism is a feminist issue.

Fatphobia is a feminist issue.

Toxic masculinity is a feminist issue.

Feminism is not just for white, cis, thin, able-bodied women. White feminism is toxic. If you only support white feminism YOU ARE A WHITE SUPREMICIST and you’re inherently racist.

Your feminism IS NOT feminism unless it is intersectional!!!

[terrriya-deactivated20201127]

Vyaisha Moss said imagine you found love and acceptance so deeply within yourself that someone else admirably looked at you and said, “I’m attracted to the way you love yourself, flaws and all. It inspires me to love every part of you all the more.” and since then I’ve been patient for love.

[lifeinpoetry]

“I am very aware of what I’m doing to myself / but I can’t seem to stop.”

— — Elizabeth Schmuhl, from “Sick,” published in Guesthouse

[lilacwine1966-deactivated202212]

i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

[geniuss-loci-deactivated2021052]

[queerlysad]

[stay-close]

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

— Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

[thebookquotes]

For a long time, she held a special place in my heart. I kept this special place just for her, like a "Reserved" sign on a quiet corner table in a restaurant. Despite the fact that I was sure I'd never see her again.

— Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

[botanical-artistry]