---- Got real sad and went away, I wish I had the beans to come back. I leave this blog active in quiet hope. <3 ---------
No AI interactions & no minor interactions
All fancy blog edits by @astralrogue / @soundlessroom Go follow them they're a sweetheart through & through
Feel free to just jump in any way you like - message, ask, tag me, whatever works for you - just specify your muse of choice!
My style tends to be more words than actions alot of the time, so expect more dialogue-with-stage-direction than novels, but I do like writing paragraphs, witty one-liners are fun too, but just having a natural back & forth is just as fun
Multiverse - my inbox is open to all. Heck you donât even have to be a character, come as you are.
Always happy to chat on discord, but I prefer to rp here! (Though I reserve the right to remove people from my discord if I feel I need to for any reason)
NSFW/18+ content is welcome, but intimacy scenes will fade to black/time skip. I might be up for doing it privately or under a read-more but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it.
Fluff, angst, romance, friendship, enemies, general chat - all are welcome
Triggering content is welcome as long as itâs properly labelled & I'll always discuss first if there's a possibility that triggering content will be in a reply [especially if it's something you wouldn't expect to find here - blood/mentions of abuse are kind of a given at some point or another.]
Starters
Always accepting - but you can always message me to plot something, or tag me in something you'd like me to respond to! It honestly gives me such a boost when someone actively wants to write with me đ€
I realised I just can't do memes. I overthink them and worry about whether I've understood, and ones directed at 'any muse I don't mind' put me in decision paralysis so much I can't respond at all. It's probably best I leave them alone đ
Roleplayer Info
Hey all, Iâm Robin! I'm 30 years old & use he/him pronouns. I also have a shitposting personal blog over at robinrolledaone
I'm based in Wales, UK, and have a husband & 2 young kids who keep me very busy!
I'm trans, neurospicy, pagan & poly
I've been roleplaying online for 13 years now, I also have a degree in contemporary performance which I guess is kinda relevant here lmao and maybe why my style is a bit more script-y than novel-y
I'll respond as soon as I can, but be patient please!
Yanis couldnât help but avert his gaze when Astarion commented on what he had gone through, and he only seemed to become more ashamed when the vampire said he was sorry for him. The last thing Yanis wanted was for the other man to feel sorry for him, and he hated to think that he might have forced that pity out of him by showing his memories.
Mismatched eyes slowly settled on the pale elfâs face, and as Astarion declared that he wouldnât let any harm come to Yanis, the half-elf let out a breath he hadnât realized he was holding in. A soft smile formed on the taller manâs lips, and he swiped away a few tears that had threatened to spill down his soft, freckled cheeks.
A faint blush appeared on the rogueâs cheeks and the tips of his pointy ears as Astarion called him his prince. He puffed his cheeks and turned away from the other, crossing his arms with a huff. âOh, hush.â He muttered softly. âI am not some spoiled brat.â He whined, clearly embarrassed.
After a moment passed, without any warning, strong arms gently pulled Astarion into a warm embrace. âThank you, Astarion.â The half-elf said softly. He slowly pulled away from the hug and gently held the pale elfâs hands. âI spent most of my life putting up walls and being so guarded that I forgot what it was like to be around those who care. Meeting you and the others helped me to open up and be myself again.â
'And if I hadnât met you, I wouldnât have known how to love again.' The half-elf thought to himself.
Yanis let out a soft sigh and then spoke. âI want you to know that your vampirism doesnât bring back any painful memories, nor does it make me feel uncomfortable around you.â The half-elf smiled softly. âIf anything, I am the most comfortable around you. You make me feel whole. I feel like I can just be myself.â
Yanis gently cupped Astarionâs cheeks and swallowed thickly. His cheeks and the tips of his ears went crimson. The half-elf felt his heart flutter, and he gently pressed his forehead against Astarionâs, a simple but loving gesture.
âGods, if only you knew how much I care about you. If only I werenât so scared to tell you how much I love you.â He thought inwardly.
The half-elf slowly pulled away from Astarion, his heart pounding in his chest. His palms were sweaty, and he couldnât help but swallow nervously.
He had gotten too close, and now all the younger man could think about was that he had potentially ruined everything.
"Not a spoiled brat, of course, just the prince of a realm. How silly of me!" The pale elf would still be laughing at the reaction to his teasing if the hug hadn't caught him off guard. It took him a second to register the other man's actions, before returning the embrace with a firm squeeze, breathing in the comforting warmth and only releasing only when Yanis moved to pull away.
He stood, watching and listening silently, with a soft smile as his companion spoke, and rested their heads together. "You know, I don't think anyone ever spoke to me so sweetly after finding out what I truly am - let alone after what I did to you. You're a gift, Yanis, one I will always treasure."
Astarion rested his palm against Yanis' cheek, swiping away any rogue tears with his thumb, noticing the flush of colour with a smirk. If it could, his heart would have skipped. He leaned in close to the the other man, his lips lingering over his cheek for a moment. He was ever so close, he felt the heat of Yanis' breath on his skin, he would have stayed there all night if he could.
"I think it's time we got some rest, don't you darling?" He whispered, his words soft as a feather, despite the knowing grin spread across his face. "The others will be wondering where we've been, we wouldn't want them getting any ideas now, would we?" The elf winked, and beckoned Yanis to accompany him.
He was glad for the trust Yanis had placed in him after everything, Astarion thought as he strode into camp after the others. He trusted Yanis too, an involuntary smile pulling at his lips as he walked. Of course, they had to trust eachother to work so closely together, they were literally fighting for their lives every day! He told himself this again, and again, and again...
"What's on the menu tonight, oh wizard of Waterdeep?"
"No! But I did keep an eye on information about you... ." she admits; does not want him to think that she followed him like some sort of creep, even if maybe her paying attention to any word about the whereabouts of him might still be strange.
"when it comes to being in trouble, that is. It is not as if I know every store you have been to or wherever it is you go in town." Gilrin feels the need to add, knows she should probably stop with overseeing any friends of hers this way, but by the Gods, do some of them need a helping hand.
"I understand," she raises her hands in a manner to show that she meant no harm with her actions. "Your business is your business, dear." Gilrin assures; noting to herself to stop keeping tab on him from now.
"I should have kept it in mind before I did anything even if it was out of concern. I will not intervene from now." She promises, as much as she may want to in the future. But is this how she will keep him as a friend or lose him? The brunette elf supposes this is something for the future to tell.
"Concern? You're one step away from stalking me!" Astarion laughed mirthlessly, his arms folded tight over his chest. He had to admit, he did not have a plan for escaping had she not intervened, he was just waiting for the first opportunity to pick the lock and slip into the shadows, but who know when- or if, that would have happened. If he acted too coldly, he may not be able to rely on her pulling strings again in the future.
"Look, it's not that I'm ungrateful- on this occasion I appreciate that you stuck your nose in where it doesn't belong." He smirked, placing one hand on his hip and examining his nails on the other. "Now that I know you have eyes everywhere, I'll adjust my actions accordingly- we wouldn't want you seeing everything I get up to, now would we?" His gaze darted up to her as his smirk shifted to a grin.
"I'm not not helping you" she giggled obviously having far too much fun with the circumstances. "Come on, she's just down here,"
She motioned down a hallway leading away from the haalobolu passing more strange creatures (strange even for Fayruin's standards) on the way. Everything seemed far less professional than the facade that had greeted him up front.
After some time they arrived upon one of the large ballrooms, its doors sealed and chained. Someone had carved 'DO NOT DISTURB' sharply into the door. The warnings seemed to mean little to Vice as she went right up and knocked on it, with her gun.
If the tables were turned and Astarion was the one leading this wild goose chase, he'd have been having a great time. He was not, however, leading, rather he was being lead down hallways and corridors through wild gatherings of creatures he could swear he'd only read about.
The pale elf read the scratched-in warning. Cazador would have killed us for treating this place with such disrespect. He smiled at that, he might have to scratch a word or two in somewhere. "I'm a surprise, am I? Where's the showmanship? I should put a ribbon on my head and jump out of a cake." He mocked dryly with a roll of his eyes.
"Hey soldier! Tough fight today, huh..." She certainly showed it, unusually slumped as she sat nearby the campfire. "So, uh...how's the songs coming along? I wouldn't mind a listen if you wanted to bounce some ideas off of someone." She could do with the distraction from the heavy topics on her mind, and the ache in her muscles. - for Zaeed!
"What's shaking, mama K!" Zaeed greeted her brightly and sat himself down beside her, reaching his hands out towards the fire's warmth. "Yeah, today was tough, but we're tougher, right?" He smiled, miming giving Karlach a gentle punch on the arm, his fist stopping just short of touching .
"I've got a little something, it's early days yet though. Just a beat - here." He dragged his drum over and dusted it off, giving a few quick taps before playing out what, in his humble opinion, is a real toe-tapper.
Rein kept his face there, just holding, just being so careful with his massive body against Astarion. He nodded at his question and took a deep breath, allowing it to flow from his mouth after a moment. He was aware that he was probably very warm against the other, breath even hotter. He hoped it was comforting and not off-putting.
His eyes closed and he stayed just like this. Silent. Rein wasn't often this silent. Or even this stoic. Normally his expressions and features were over the top, though his ears were as dramatic as always. Flattening in a way that made him look like he was going to melt, "You body is cool. It's nice." He said softly.
It was then that he did something for the elf that he had yet to do for anyone at camp. Even scratch he'd held, before. No. This really was just for Astarion as he began to softly hum, pulling. Hand out of the hug to gently stroke snow white hair. The song was deep, and slightly off, giving it a melancholic feel. His voice wasn't confident, but the tune never wavered. Whatever this song was, seemed to comfort him and he hoped it did the same for Astarion.
Rein placed a gentle kiss just under his ear. Nowhere else. Just the one. In the moonlight, the unspoken words were very loud. Astarion was his everything in this peaceful moment. For this brief time, the vampire was all he needed or wanted.
Astarion chuckled under his breath at the bigger elf's comment. "I don't always realise just how cold I am until I'm close to someone else." He spoke just loud enough to be heard, without any attempt to move.
"Ah, how sweet darling, our first kiss!" Astarion teased oh-so-softly as he looked up, tracing his finger along Rein's jawline, towards his chin. He lingered against the taller man's neck, before returning the gesture, something much softer on this warm skin than the bitemarks he left a day ago. "What scandal, we'll be the talk of the camp tomorrow, I'm sure."
He felt Rein's chest vibrate as he hummed, listening intently, trying unsuccessfully to place the tune. "Beautiful, my sweet, I've never heard you sing. That song must mean a lot to you?'
Continued from. @notyourastarion closed starter/thread
Gilrin held back the urge to roll her eyes at his teasing words; not that she could blame him for not thinking her capable of morally dubious actions, she knew she did not look the part, which she forged into an advantage over the years.
"Oh, I see, so it is only a matter of not wanting to." The brunette huffs a little at his comment, but does not ride on it too much, instead finding herself averting her gaze, only momentarily, but enough for it to be noticeable for him upon being asked to explain why his actions and their morality were of consequence to her.
Her green eyes return to his, then her lips part and then close, as she finds herself at a loss for words before she manages to find what she wants to say to him.
"They matter to me because I care about you, alright? Is that so hard to believe that I do not want you to be hurt when it can be prevented?" She admits, her gaze imploring him to understand, to try and get it across that she cares, for reasons even beyond her own knowledge, perhaps, but she does care about Astarion.
"You say you know what you are doing, and yet... ." She trails off, unsure just how much she should reveal, about how it might influence him if he knew this. "You would have spent the night locked up if I had not intervened with the city guard some days ago; it got me concerned," Gilrin explains, deciding that, ultimately it would be better if he knew that she helped him, that it was not sheer luck or purely his own skills that saved from such.
Astarion stood with his arms folded as she spoke, indignant. He watched as her eyes darted and her lips formed words that weren't spoken. He narrowed his eyes slightly - what wasn't she telling him?
The vampire began forming a response, the usual 'why would you care' he deflected with in this situation. Gilrin was someone he had assumed was kind and polite only to keep people close enough to keep an eye on, just as he was. However, it seemed he had been wrong.
"'Intervened'?" The paler elf spat the word. "What in the hells- how did you even know where I was? Are you following me?" His voice raised, he knew he could at least try to flip this situation. He didn't lavish the thought of being in the spotlight for getting caught and genuinely needing help.
He was on the verge on needing to explain himself and the thought made him uneasy, so he switched his approach. "I appreciate your 'concern' for me darling but it isn't any of your damned business." He lashed out, his speech calmer now but cold and defensive.
"Fortunately, you're all color-coded, Astarion. You with your white hair, Shadowheart in black, and Lae'Zel with yellow skin... but if there were another white-haired elf, well, that would make things quite complicated."
All the tieflings in the grove looked the same to Ceres. It was undeniably challenging to navigate through and avoid speaking to the same one twice in a row.
The night felt unusually cold, and she pondered if it was a regular chill or a side effect of Astarion's bite. However, she didn't feel like asking for confirmation, for it could be taken that she asked for help. And he was already helpful enough. Close enough. Invaded her for hope she did not want. So they had to maintain a professional distance. After all, there was a knowledge as certain as the stars shining, the sun rising, and rain fallingâprofound like the understanding of how to move every limb of her body: that she would die at their journey.
"Oh you poor devil, you can't even acknowledge that my hair is the best looking of the group." Astarion replied with feigned pity as they neared the warm glow of the campfire's crackling embers. "If you ever need to hide this from anyone just point out that I'm simply dazzling. You'll be correct so they won't doubt a thing."
He helped her onto a bedroll by the remains of the fire and sat beside her. "All things considered, this has been a rather fun evening, don't you think?" The vampire smirked as he glanced over, it was then he noticed she was deep in thought, not particularly easy thoughts either, by the look of things.
Yanis couldnât help but crack a small smile at his companionsâ banter. It was nice to be a part of a group again, yet he feared for his friendâs safety. Now more than ever. The letter from the kingdom he once knew was still hidden away safely in his breast pocket, and the contents still plagued his mind.
Danger. Everyone was in danger. At least, that is what Yanis assumed anyway. Whoever sent him the letter must have wanted a fight. To drag him back to the land he came from and finish what was started many years ago. Why else would they have reached out? What else would they have wanted? Why? Why now, of all times?
Astarionâs sweet voice pulled the half-elf from his racing thoughts, and he turned to look at the elf, offering a teasing smile. While he tried to seem fine, his eyes once again betrayed him. Somehow, he looked empty and worried at the same time. âOh? Trying to get me drunk again, are we?â The taller man teased. âYou know, Astarion. There are better ways to get me to spill my secrets. All you have to do is ask.â
As they neared their camp, the half-elf seemed a bit distant, and it was only when Karlach and Wyll made their way to their tents that the half-elf spoke once more. Yanisâs little façade was dropped this time, and he grew serious. Yanis took Astarionâs hand gently and led him to a small abandoned home away from the center of camp. When they were out of earshot from their companions, Yanis turned to look at the pale elf, his expression troubled.
âIâm sorry for that. I justâŠI wanted you to be the first one to know about this.â He said softly. Yanis swallowed thickly; his heart was pounding, and his palms were sweating. It was now or never. It was time he came clean about his past and who he was. With a shaky breath, he spoke up. âYesterday, I asked you about your knowledge of the North. I needed to know if I could truly trust you. I found that I could trust you.â The half-elf paused momentarily to collect himself and then spoke again.
âMy full name is Yanis Vaun Frostvale, Prince of the Frostvale Kingdom, at least I was.â The rogueâs gaze softened, and he pursed his lips. âAs you know, the Kingdom fell well over ten years ago. I was a child at the time, and with the help of the head of the Royal Gaurd and her wife, who was my nanny, I could escape. They risked their lives to save me, and now I wasted it by getting a damn tadpole in my head.â He grits his teeth in frustration.
A sharp sigh escaped his lips; the half-elf looked at Astarion and swallowed thickly. The tadpole squirmed in his skull as it connected with Astarionâs.
A little boy could be seen being held on the floor by a human father and an elven mother. That boy was Yanis. The scene cuts to him being carried down a hall by a tall elven knight and her wife. The child is left screaming as he watches his parentsâ figures grow smaller and smaller. Vampires and their spawn cut down the woman, following by their side.
The memory cuts to Yanis being put in a horse-drawn carriage by the elven knight. The tall woman hands him her dagger and a coin pouch before casting a protection spell on him. It is storming outside, and the boyâs clothes are sopping wet, his hair damp, and strands of it stuck to his forehead. Werewolves and vampires close in on the two, and the knight kisses the boyâs head before she scares the horse on purpose, causing it to take off without her, getting Yanis to safety. The child is left screaming and crying as the woman is slaughtered right before his eyes.
The next memory is when Yanis arrives in a town. He exchanges some coin for a boat ride to Baldurâs Gate and spends the next few weeks at sea. When he reaches the city, he finds shelter in Rivington. He frequents the lower and upper city areas, stealing, getting physically stronger, and forming and leading a group with other urchins. However, before that memory can continue, Yanis cuts it off. His eyes are sad, and he looks ready to cry from being overwhelmed.
The half-elf slowly reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out the letter heâd been sent. With a shaky breath, he held it out for Astarion to take. âA few days ago, this showed up outside my tentâŠâ He said. âIt is from the kingdom. Someone is coming for me. They didnât say what they wanted, only that they would show up at camp in a few days. I expect there to be some sort of fight by how it was worded.â He said softly.
"I'm sorry that I kept this from you, from all of you. I didn't know what to do." He said. Yanis fought with himself not to cry right then and there. So much of his life was spent hiding who he was, and now he'd finally come clean to one of the few people he'd trust.
"Darling, if you want some time alone, you just have to ask!" Astarion grinned as he let Yanis lead them, though he knew the mood was more tense than that. His companion had been knitting his fingers together for hours, it was written on his face for all to see that something was very wrong.
He stood tense as the other man explained all, and even moreso as the memory played out in his own mind. Both the discomfort of the experience and the horrific events his friend had endured had his eyes squeezed tight shut, his hand on his head, trying to relieve the pain.
"Good gods Yanis, you went through all that as a child?" He asked once the tadpole released them, staggering as his body became his own again. "I- I have nothing to say that could ever alleviate the pain of your past, I'm just sorry you had to endure all that." The look of concern etched into his face matched the sincerity in his voice. He held his hand out, offering it to Yanis to hold for comfort. "I hope I don't- well, I mean the way that I look can be- shit. I'm a vampire, obviously, I don't want that to bring back memories for you."
"It doesn't matter to me who you are, or were, or whatever. It seems we both have past lives we're running from. Obviously, I can't stop them from coming. It seems they know where we are already, but don't believe for a second that anyone camped here would let them anywhere near you." Astarion spoke fiercely, almost hoping they were close enough to listen. " I won't let them lay a finger on you."
After a pause, he broke into a smirk with "So, are you happy with your current arrangements here, my prince, or shall I find you a red carpet?"
starting over - are you a little overwhelmed with where our thread is going? let me know, and i'd be happy to start a new one with you!
pausing - if you're feeling one thread more than another we have going on, that's perfectly fine! you're welcome to let me know if you'd like, but it's not a necessity.
multiples - if we have a ship that you love and you have many ideas for them, always feel welcome to throw them at me no matter what! while it may affect my reply speed due to having more, it doesn't affect my interest at all!
regrouping - maybe we initially had an idea that didn't pan out but you don't know how to say it? just shoot me a message and let me know you'd like to plot further/something else.
anything else - have we not talked and you want to? shoot me a message! send in a meme if you don't know where to start! ask for my discord! i may not initiate too often myself, but i love being able to love our threads together!
"Have you even considered that I do not desire to fix you. I have done morally reprehensible... anyway I don't claim to be pure of heart, I only... I just want to help you in toeing the line." The brunette elf explains, attempts to explain that she means not to change him, but to help handle the ever greying line of moral actions; Gilrin has burnt her hand before by not being careful, she does not want him to be hurt like that, not if she can help it.
for Astarion
(not sure how comprehensible I am being đ but oh well, feel free to ignore)
"You? 'Morally reprehensible?' Darling, do go on!" Astarion teased, attempting to dispel the severity of the conversation, before relenting and addressing her properly, sighing like a petulant child.
"But yes, I have considered that possibility. I just don't see much fun in 'toeing the line'." He replied, badly mimicking her speech. "I'm quite capable of following rules and regulations - I was a magistrate, you know - I just... don't want to, if I can help it at all." The pale elf shrugged dismissively, before a thought occured to him and his eyes narrowed at her.
"Now, why don't you tell me why my actions matter so much to you, hm?"
As Astarion spoke of his knowledge about the North, Yanis felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he gripped his wine glass tighter. A river of blood? He couldnât have meant the Cyrus River. It was beautiful, the water a shimmering blue. He could never forget how it looked. The thought made a chill run down the younger manâs spine, and he shivered.
Yanis didnât even want to think about why the river would have turned red.
With a shaky sigh, he took a generous sip of his wine and then set his glass down a little harder than he had meant to when Astarion mentioned that he knew the kingdom had fallen. He knew of the crest and the accent of the natives. He knew of his home or at least what it once was.
Yanis felt cold, and his mind wouldnât stop racing.
Astarionâs question pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked into the pale elfâs crimson eyes. Yanis smiled softly. âEverything is fine, Astarion. No need to worry about little olâ me.â He said, though his eyes betrayed him. There was a soft sadness behind them.
The half-elf drank the rest of his wine and then set the cup in the center of the table. âWe have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow. Letâs get some rest.â Without saying another word, Yanis rose to his feet. He felt like he needed to escape. âThank you for the wine and conversation.â He said, a soft smile dancing on his scarred lips. âSweet dreams, Astarion.â And with that, Yanis went to his small tent and disappeared inside. As soon as Yanis lay on his bedroll, sleep overtook him.
When morning arrived, the half-elf was the first to rise and get his belongings in order. After a quiet breakfast, Yanis made his way around camp, checking in with everyone and gathering those heâd wanted to join his party for the day. Karlach, Wyll, and Astarion.
Astarion.
The conversation from last night was still on his mind. The letter heâd gotten at camp was still tucked away in his breast pocket. When the time was right, he would talk to Astarion first about the letter's contents, but for now, they needed to press on. And press on, they did. The shadowcursed lands proved to be nasty, and Yanis couldnât wait to leave the wretched area. The first part of their day was spent wandering around and fighting shadows, only to stumble into a campsite, meet Jaheira herself, and get interrogated by the woman.
After making some new âfriendsâ and promising to look into the situation at Moonrise Towers, Yanis was getting tired or antsy. He was unsure how he felt. All he knew was that he wanted to leave the inn. He sighed as they left the inn and crossed his arms. âDo you want to head back to camp or keep going?â He asked the group, his gaze wandering slightly.
"Yes, of course." Astarion caught the lies in Yanis' demeanour, but thought better of calling him out. He was clearly shaken by something, and they had only just gotten back on good terms after his own recent lack of control. Best not to push things just yet. "My dreams will be sweet enough if you're in them." He smiled, flirting with particular enthusiasm to keep up the charade that things were all fine. As soon as he slipped into his tent, the facade dropped.
He lay for a while that night, uneasy.
-----------------
Early the next evening, as Yanis asked his gathered company for input, they glanced at eachother. They had all noticed an unfamiliar tension in their fellow adventurer, but the days antics had not given an opportunity for the heart-to-heart Karlach would have hoped for, or the encouraging anecdote that Wyll would offer up.
"I dunno about you lot, but I'm well up for some of Gale's cooking right now!" Karlach chimed in cheerily, looking to lighten the mood before they headed back.
"I quite agree, I still don't know how he manages to make such good meals from the 'food' we manage to scrounge together." Wyll puzzled aloud, before beaming with pride at his own joke as he spoke. "I suppose he's also a wizard in the kitchen!"
The two former foes walked ahead, the tiefling chastising the devil's humour, leaving Astarion and Yanis to follow behind.
"Wyll, I'd suggest you leave the comedy to those a little more proficient than yourself- Withers, perhaps..." The elf added in, his light-hearted tone softened his harsh words, before he turned to the leader of their party.
"You know, I have more wine if you'd like to drink with me again tonight." He offered, as casually as he could despite how often he had rehearsed the line that morning.
