Oh Fee, Oh my!

Likes dragons, punk elves, and weird myths. I mean, weirder than usual. Will occasionally draw ridiculous art.

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Dear friend,

I can’t access my full inbox for some reason because this app is broken, but just in case you still check this blog every now and then: Thank you for being such a good friend over the years. You’ve been a source of support and kindness throughout the entire time we’ve been friends, through multiple blogs, through my wife and I’s ridiculous “but does she really like me” courtship, through everything. I hope you’ll always know how meaningful an impact your presence has been. I’ll always think of you fondly. I hope you thrive!

[oh-fee-oh-my]

It’s been ages! Some wild things have happened in the meantime—I’ve been writing Queer romance books with a friend, and we’re doing pretty well! People seem to like them, anyway. Also I’m trans? Ha ha whoops surprise! Except not too much of a surprise, because my siblings, as per usual, already knew before I told them.

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Lemme tell you, part of the reason (besides the one where I just withdrew from everyone and hung out in what was a safe corner for me while I self-destructed in real time) I avoided this tumblr for so long was that damn comic. I’d slip back in to find all these notes by people making jokes about how they’d actually rather like to be in what was, for me, a horror situation. I’ve always had really awful nightmares about turning into plants when I’m not in control. Also, there’s a tendency to make unhealthy habits or behavior seem like a form of coping, or something beautiful or artistic/romantic when really it’s fucking awful, it isn’t who you are at your core, and it certainly doesn’t make you feel much like creating. I was drawing my inability to ask for help, and in retrospect, it was definitely a cry *for* help. But then it just became another “I wish that were me lmao” thing, and the notes kept building, and I just. Couldn’t really deal with that.

I know I’ve probably screwed up a lot of friendships and acquaintanceships with my long absence and silence. I’ve probably screwed up far more than that. I don’t know how to start fixing this yet.

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Sometimes self destruction is a slow process.

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Three years later, an update:

Sometimes the first step towards reconstruction is sudden. And then you realize everything you let slide while you were just trying to survive, the depression that festered there that you now have to work with, the fear that built because the poor will always be exploited to become poorer still, the constant anxiety that whatever small joy you find will be crushed by another bout of bad news, the almost desperate “This is okay!” that tamps the horribleness down. We didn’t have water for months? “That’s okay. We can get by, and this means we’ll just go to the gym more!” AC and heat stopped working and is too expensive to fix? “That’s okay. We’ll turn on some fans/bundle up!” Can’t afford to wash clothes? “That’s okay, I can work something out with a gallon of water and spot-cleaning.” Burglars constantly trying to break in literally every night? “That’s okay! We’ll sleep with the lights on tonight! And tomorrow! And tomorrow! And when they try to climb through the bedroom window right next to me as I sleep, I’ll scream and scream and scream!” Too depressed to clean? “That’s okay! I’ll stand here and stare at what I have to do for a while!” That’s okay! It’s okay!

It’s not okay! We finally dragged ourselves out of that pit of a town we’d fallen into, and I’m realizing that my constant mantra of “It’s okay, I just have to keep going, I just have to keep pushing,” was deeply unhealthy. It’s not okay. It’s alright for it to not be okay. And sometimes you have to literally throw most of what you own away and drive cross-country to be near supportive family to realize that you can tell other people that it’s not okay, too.

But hey. Maybe it will be okay for real sometime. We’ll see.

[forthegothicheroine]

I’m intrigued by Frank Miller’s new book about the Lady of the Lake, but I just don’t trust like that.

[gwenfrankenstien]

oh come on hasn’t he done enough damage to characters i care about :( :( :(

[oh-fee-oh-my]

I flipped through it during breaks just to be sure. Miller mostly just did the art, but the writing isn’t... well, maybe I just opened the book at the exact point where Nimue was behaving in a vapid and embarrassingly poorly-written way, so I kept flipping... if you like Nimue and Merlin in particular, it’s going to be a rough read. Nimue isn’t very well-developed and goes through the motions of “cool chick with sword” without gaining much by way of depth or agency.

So about what you’d expect.

[eldamaranquendi]

Lord of the Rings by https://twitter.com/audkoch

Bless Samwise Gamgee’s queer little hobbit heart.

“And so Gollum found them hours later, when he returned […]. Sam sat propped against the stone, his head drooping sideways and his breathing heavy. In his lap lay Frodo’s head, drowned deep in sleep […]. Peace was in both their faces.” - Tolkien, The Two Towers

#Frodo and #Samwise in Shelob’s lair.  "They struggled on, still hand in hand.“ (The Two Towers, #TheLordoftheRings, J.R.R. Tolkien) 

“But Shelob was not as dragons are, no softer spot had she …” (J.R.R. Tolkien, #TheLordoftheRings, The Two Towers, “The  Choices of Master Samwise”).

“All right, Sam,” said Frodo. “Lead me!  As long as you’ve got any hope  left. Mine is gone.” (Tolkien, #TheLordoftheRings, The Return of the King)

“To Sam’s surprise he felt tired but lighter, and his head seemed clear again. No more debates disturbed his mind. He knew all the arguments of despair and would not listen to them. His will was set, and only death would break it.” (#Tolkien, #LordoftheRings)

“Master!” cried Sam. And Frodo stirred and spoke with a clear voice, indeed with a voice clearer and more powerful than Sam had ever heard him use, and it rose above the throb and turmoil of Mount Doom, ringing in the roof and walls.

- #Tolkien, #LordoftheRings, #ReturnoftheKing

“Do not be too sad, Sam,” said Frodo. “You cannot be always torn in two.  You will have to be one and whole, for many years.  You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.” (J.R.R. #Tolkien, #LordoftheRings, The Return of the King)

The Greathearts of the Shire:  Sam & Frodo, Pippin & Merry!

Sketchbooking:  working out how I want to draw the Fellowship of the Ring.

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

“Frodo was the only one present who had said nothing.” -J.R.R. #Tolkien, #TheFellowshipoftheRing (#TheLordoftheRings), Ch. 1

“I am not trying to rob you, but to help you,” Gandalf answered.  "I wish you would trust me, as you used.“  He turned away, and the shadow passed.  He seemed to dwindle again to an old grey man, bent and troubled. - J.R.R. #Tolkien, #TheFellowshipoftheRing, Chapter 1

Bilbo looked up, sniffing the air.  "What fun!  This is what I have really been longing for, for years!  Good-bye!” he said, looking at his old home and bowing to the door.  "Good-bye, Gandalf!“

Frodo began to say to himself: “Perhaps I shall cross the River myself one day.” To which the other half of his mind always replied: “Not yet.” - J.R.R. #Tolkien, #TheFellowshipoftheRing, Chapter 2: The Shadow of the Past

Gandalf was smoking now in silence, for Frodo was sitting still, deep in thought. Even in the light of morning he felt the dark shadow of the tidings that Gandalf had brought. - J.R.R. #Tolkien, #TheFellowshipoftheRing Ch. 2: The Shadow of the Past

Frodo sat silent and motionless.  Fear seemed to stretch out a vast hand, like a dark cloud rising in the East and looming up to engulf him.  "This ring!“ he stammered. - J.R.R. #Tolkien, #TheFellowshipoftheRing Chapter 2: The Shadow of the Past

[methedras]

this is the best thing i’ve ever made 

[highempressofdirt]

@lesbiansforboromir

[justbadpuns]

I have no words

[dumbledoreisabamf-deactivated20]

[hash-tag-whatever]

Merry: confused awe

Frodo: confused awe

Sam: confused awe

Pippin: finally i’m getting the respect i deserve from these peasants 

so accurate i am choking on my carrot. this is making me giggle harder than it should. I love Pippin so much.

I don’t think there will come time when I’m not reblogging this. Sorry guys. 

[pippin4242]

no no no you guys don’t understand, Pippin is someone really important in the Shire! The books don’t talk about it a lot, and the movies won’t touch that stuff with a bargepole, but Pippin will be inheriting land rights to about a quarter of the Shire. He’s second in line to becoming military leader of all Hobbits. His dad is currently in charge of that stuff, but he’s completely aware of it, and educated for it, and that’s why he’s such an over privileged little shit in the books.

I thought it was a shame the movies didn’t talk about class differences in the Shire. Also puts M&P stealing food in an uglier light.

[animate-mush]

To be fair, at the time of the Party, Pippin would have been 12, which puts it back into a more acceptable light.  And they’re stealing food from Bilbo, a wealthy and eccentric family member, which again makes things a bit different.

But yes, when they call Pippin Ernil i Perrianath - Prince of the Halflings - they are actually completely spot on.

And when Pippin tells Bergil “my father farms the land around Tuckborough” he’s deliberately downplaying his class so that he can greet the boy as an equal rather than a superior.  It’s Pippin’s most adult moment in the series.  Bergil is engaging in a status contest which Pippin can totally win - but instead chooses not to compete.  Pippin is a gilded and spoiled lordling in the Shire, but he becomes a Man of Gondor.

[iridescentoracle]

Yeah, to add a bit of unnecessary trivia/level of preciseness, Frodo is the oldest of the four; he was born in 2968, was (obviously) 33 at the time of the Party, and so he’s 51 here. Sam’s second-oldest; born in 2980, he was 21 when Bilbo left and is 39 at this point. Merry’s two years younger than Sam, making him 18 or 19 in 3001, when the Party took place, and Pippin was born in 2990, so he was actually 10 or 11 during the Party, and during this scene they’re ~37 and ~29, respectively.

So yeah, Pippin’s the youngest by a lot. Plus, taking hobbit aging into account, he really is still in the equivalent of his teens; remember the Party was half to celebrate Frodo’s coming-of-age at 33, and Pippin’s around twenty years younger than Frodo. 

This fucked me up. I didn’t read the books and in the movie it was shown like Frodo took off with the ring like 2 days after Bilbo’s gone away, but it was 17 years after that. OMFG.

[bramblepatch]

Also worth noting that “Merry and Pippin stealing food” isn’t in the book - raiding Farmer Maggot’s fields, specifically the mushrooms, is something Frodo used to do when he was a kid, before his parents died and he moved to Hobbiton to live with Bilbo. Frodo’s still afraid of Maggot’s guard dogs, but the farmer himself is sympathetic and helpful when he finds Frodo & Co. cutting through his field.

[mikkeneko]

And this is specifically invoked in the books at the Council of Elrond, where Elrond argues against Pippin in particular going, because  he is so young. He’s okay with Merry going but wants to keep Pippin in Rivendell. Elrond has serious misgivings against sending an early-teenager off to face the Shadow, and given what happens to Pippin in The Two Towers, he was not wrong.

[library-seraph]

@cyrefinns

[krool-gwooptsoov]

@cyrefinns

[the-books-we-travel]

This is just so great. I just–I can’t.

[wrangletangle]

Merry is also a prince of sorts - his father is Master of Buckland, which is the semi-autonomous boundary community between the Brandywine river and the Old Forest (never, alas, discussed in the movies). Merry and Pippin are friends in the books in part because they’re of relatively equal status and in part because they’re cousins (like all nobs, Shire nobs mostly marry each other).

However, the books also clearly make Merry the Responsible One, even though he’s only been a full adult for four years. (Think early 20s in human terms.) Merry buys and prepares the house at Crickhollow. Merry figures out the secret of the ring before Bilbo even gives it to Frodo, but Merry keeps Bilbo’s secret. Merry convinces Sam to spy on Frodo. Merry explains that they’re all joining Frodo on the Quest, whether Frodo wants them to or not. Merry cautions about the Old Forest and doesn’t go down to drink in the taproom at the Prancing Pony.

So in the books, Merry isn’t Pippin’s partner in pranks - instead, Merry and Pippin spend all their time together on the Quest because Merry’s looking after his younger cousin. Can you imagine what his mother would say if he came home without Pippin? Merry can, and that’s why he takes some pretty absurd personal risks during the books to make sure that doesn’t happen. Like, he literally rides into battle on the back of someone else’s horse, in disguise, because Pippin is probably somewhere in that battle.

Merry is 99%* common sense unless Pippin is involved, and then he is 100% save/rescue/protect/support Pippin. The character growth and maturation we see in Merry in the movies isn’t in the books; instead he has almost the exact opposite arc of becoming an extreme risk-taker, driven by his protective instincts.

(*The other 1% stabbed a ringwraith in the calf that one time, but we can argue that this was due to a natural expansion of Merry’s protective instincts toward Eowyn, with whom he’d bonded quite a lot recently, and toward Theoden, who he deeply respected as being kind of like his dad.)

[mikkeneko]

bonus kleenex moment:

when pippin finds merry stumbling half-blind and sick through the streets of Minas Tirith after killing the Ringwraith, he tells Merry “Poor old fellow! I’ll look after you,” half-carries him to the healing halls, and is worried sick about him until he can finally get Aragorn in to give him medicine.

It’s the first time in the story that Pippin  has looked after Merry, instead of the other way around.

It shows that Pippin has grown up, that he can protect the people who always protected him.

[inthroughthesunroof]

This is also why it’s awesome when they finally come back to the Shire, and Saruman’s made a right mess of things, and it’s Merry and Pippin that kick ass and take names. They’re the closest things the Shire has to princes and military leaders, and they’ve just had adventures that make this look like a minor action. Frodo’s tired, and Sam’s just worried about Frodo, and Merry and Pippin are like hold my pint, I got this.

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Hey, does anyone want to cry about hobbits on this fine day?

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Horoscopes for humans stuck in Elfland

Aries: March 21-April 19th Go to the dumpster at the edge of town, behind the burned-out Safeway. There's an elf named Peaches who lives there; He has what you want. The price is high, but if you keep your wits about you, you'll come out of the bargain alive. That's the important thing, right? Taurus: April 20-May 20 Don't even think about it. Look, this is why you got turned into a cat last year, and everyone knows it. Get your shit together and stop pissing off the elves. Gemini: May 21-June 20 You won't find what you're looking for today, either. Sorry. But you'll probably find an extra five bucks or so, though, so that's breakfast paid for. Cancer: June 21-July 22 You'll find love today, probably between the hours of 2pm and 6pm EST, and let me tell you, it's going to be a ride. I don't know what you're gonna see in this person, honestly, but who am I to judge? Just don't complain if they turn out to be cursed. They're a Taurus, so if you go back to that entry, you have an idea of what you're getting into. Leo: July 23-August 22 Okay, don't eat ANYTHING other people offer you today. Bring food from home. If someone tells you they have an awesome start-up they want you to invest in, just walk away. Today is not your day, friend. Believe you me. Virgo: August 23-Sept. 22 Well, someone is just a font of good luck today. I'm not saying it's you. I'm saying its someone. Probably someone you know. Today would be a good day to hang out with friends, just in case you can get some extra good luck by proxy. Libra: Sept. 23-Oct. 22 Today is not the day to mouth off in front of the fair folk. Try to keep your temper in check--You never know who might be listening. Scorpio: Oct. 23-Nov. 21 I know something is whispering to you from inside the oak tree out back, but really, when has sticking your hand in the hollow of a tree ever been a good idea? There are ants in there. And probably elves. I'd give that one a hard pass, personally. Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec. 21 Today's going to be pretty chill, actually. Except for one of you. You know who you are. You still haven't returned my copy of Enter the Dragon, and I've got a brand new curse from the elf in the townhouse by 50th street. You have until 8pm to return it, BRAD, or you'll be joining the Tauruses of the world in knowing what it's like to suddenly go very small and very fluffy very goddamn fast. Capricorn: Dec. 22-Jan. 19 Oh, you're just an angel today! No, really, you're an angel. Someone's going to need your help soon, and you'll be the perfect one around to give it. You keep being you, Capricorn. Aquarius: Jan. 20-Feb. 18 You're going on an adventure today. Bring extra toiletries, and a stick of mascara for bartering purposes. It'll come in handy, promise. Pisces: Feb. 18-March 20 Holy shit. Holy SHIT. I can't believe you pulled that off. You know what, I'm not even going to finish this one. I'm gonna drop this off to the editor and buy you coffee for the rest of your life, because that? That was amazing.

[twilightown]

[changelings]

oh my god i already stan her

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Actually, a modern fairyland video game in general would be pretty awesome. More fae in all my media, please

[oh-fee-oh-my]

Ok, but how cool would a Welcome to Bordertown video game be?

The tutorial would involve having to sneak in/finding a place to live/etc, you have random encounters, every time you end up surrounded by faeries the game goes into a horrifying puzzle mode/series of dialogue options where a wrong move can leave you cursed, you can drink the river water but it lowers your character’s movement the further you leave the riverside, and every time you try to talk to that one NPC who looks like a wolf dude, he gets increasingly more awkward until he sprints away from you whenever you cross paths.

[filisnow]

[obaewankenope]

#I KNOW I’VE ALREADY LOST MY SHIT IN TAGS ABOUT THIS SCENE BUT#LAST TIME IT WAS ONLY THE LEGOLAS AND GIMLI BITS AND TBH I LIKE #FORGOT???? #ABOUT HOW IT’S ARAGORN THAT HAS TO KNOCK LEGOLAS’S BOW DOWN #AND BE LIKE ‘CHILL BRO’ #and it just makes me wonder #how many times poor aragorn has had to get in the middle of  #a) legolas losing his shit because someone threatened gimli #b) gimli losing his shit because someone threatened legolas and #c) LEGOLAS AND GIMLI THREATENING EACH OTHER #like seriously how many fires do you think aragorn has stared into mournfully #while legolas and gimli sniped at each other in that we’re-arguing-totally-arguing-not-flirting-at-all #way they have #how many times has aragorn stepped into the middle of a barfight-to-be #to be like ’legolas that guy wasn’t calling gimli pint-sized he was ORDERING A PINT please say some soothing elvish words to your tits man’ #or #’gimli it was a blonde joke they weren’t talking about legolas specifically PUT THE AXE DOWN OH MY GOD’ #like seriously #after all that time traveling with them kinging must be such a relief #all these years aragorn dodged his destiny #but now that it’s here he’s like #oh. diplomacy. i can do this. #lucky thing i was trained by THE WORST PEOPLE I KNOW in diffusing NEEDLESSLY TENSE SITUATIONS 

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

gimme the peat boys and free my soul I wanna lay down in a mossy hole and drift away

[vivienvalentino]

Sam looked at him and wept in his heart, but no tears came to his dry and stinging eyes…. ‘Come, Mr. Frodo!’ he cried. ‘I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well. So up you get!…. Sam will give you a ride. Just tell him where to go, and he’ll go.’

The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King (2003)