Si vis pacem, para bellum

Suzanne | 26 | sideblog | I write, that's about it

[okidohkie]

I just want to be heard and I feel like that's the hardest thing for people to understand. I want to be heard and listened to and understood and validated and visible. I want to feel like what I say matters to someone. I want to feel like my words hold meaning. I want my voice to be loud and proud instead of quiet and cut off. I just want to be heard.

[okidohkie]

One thing they don't tell you about loss is that you're sitting on your bed at 1pm on a Friday afternoon, sipping your tea, and it hits you like a tidal wave. A hurricane of emotions are suddenly upon you and you didn't even see it coming.

It's 3am and you've just woken up for some reason and you try to make out what's in your room when you open your eyes, but the darkness wraps itself around you in a suffocating blanket of finality and you try to scream for help, try to take even the smallest breath, but all of your efforts fail and you're left gasping for air.

It's family breakfasts with biscuits too hard and flimsy bacon. It's black coffee and no sugar. It's family tradition that no longer takes place because life centered around you and the world revolved around you and you hung the sun and the stars but my world has gone silent because for God knows why, you left us and everything fell apart after that.

One thing they don't tell you about loss is that it hits you and it keeps hitting you and it will keep hitting you. It always does.

[okidohkie]

do you take fic requests? anything nsfw okay?

My boyfriend doesn't allow me to write anymore and I've only just re-downloaded tumblr in secret. Maybe one day when I find my courage dearest anon. I appreciate your interest more than you know.

[shikkakudazai]

4, 31, B! (also I'm sorry because we spend so much time talking about my OC's and neglecting yours)

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?Lucian is cautious but he’s really open to meeting and befriending new people. He’s really outgoing, almost happy-go-lucky to a fault, so he’d do just about anything for someone he’s just met. Within reason, of course. Now Galen? He’s not going to trust so easily. He’s not against making new friends, but he’s not going to trust you until you prove you’re worthy of it.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?Galen would never say it out loud but he’s the most glad to have met Lucian. They’re not the tropey opposites of each other but they do sort of balance each other out. They both need that and Galen is aware that he’d be a completely different person if it wasn’t for Lucian. Lucian probably isn’t as aware of it, but he knows Galen is an important part of his life. Lucian would say Galen and his sister Honora are the people he’s most glad to have met.

B. What inspired you to create them?To be honest, the names. I really like the names and I wanted to write something using them and here we are haha

Don’t worry about it. You’re planning novels. I don’t have hardly any plans with my OCs.

[shitty-oc-things]

which oc is eating fries while crying in the most isolated booth at mcdonalds at 3:54 pm on a thursday afternoon

[okidohkie]

The Stories They Tell

KenVi (side Neo) 17,422w - Ongoing Not yet rated College/University, Slow Build, Getting To Know Each Other, Tattoos

Summary: Kim Wonshik is a model college student. Lee Jaehwan is a beautiful disaster.

Posted on ao3 and aff

[okidohkie]

Thunder and Lightning

-Something I wrote a long time ago to tease a friend that really loves Junhoe. It hasn’t been edited in any way from the original document. Enjoy!-

You knew it was going to rain but you skipped the end of the forecast where the weatherman mentioned there was a storm coming. You were getting ready for bed and could hear the raindrops begin to beat lightly against the window. As you and Junhoe were settling down and saying goodnight, a sudden flash of lightning startled you and you yelped. Junhoe laughed as you frowned but pulled you closer to him. With lightning comes thunder and few seconds later, the loud crash of thunder left you shaking in his arms. The lights were out but another flash of lightning lit up the room enough to cast quick shadows across the furniture before it grew dark again. Thunder soon followed, much more swiftly than the last. You could hear the rain begin to pick up and the light pitter patter turned into a downpour against your window.

By this point you were shivering in fear and Junhoe could feel it even in his half-asleep state. He kissed the top of your head, trying to sooth you but another flash of lightning sent you scurrying under the blankets. He knew you were afraid of storms but you both had to be up early in the morning and with the way things were going, you were both in for a long night. So he came up with an idea. He told you to wait for a moment and that he would be right back.

You heard him leave the room, as you stayed under the blanket, and you listened to him move around your apartment. You heard a door close and footsteps travel down the hallway. This happened a few times but every once in a while, the sounds of him moving around your apartment were interrupted by a crash of thunder.

You were almost in tears by the time he returned and gently coaxed you out from under your blanket and when you poked your head out, you were met with a soft smile. He pulled you out of bed and led you down the hall where you could see a faint light coming form the living room and what sounded like music playing from somewhere. You gave him a look but he reassured you with a smile. When you entered the room, there stood a blanket fort, walls built with sheets from your guest bedroom and chairs from the kitchen. You looked up at him again but just as you were about to ask what was going on, more lightning lit up the room and you yelped again as you jumped into his arms. You felt him laugh as he ran his hands up and down your back and told you he made the fort to calm you down.

You pulled back from his arms and smiled. He gave you a peck and you both entered the fortress where you ended up spending the entire night, curled into each other, storm all but forgotten.

[shikkakudazai]

Always a Favorite [Good Morning Sunshine]

Pairing: Namjoon/Seokjin Genre: Fluff Word Count: 314 Summary: Namjoon’s Favorite

AO3

[okidohkie]

Of Roller Coasters and Acrophobia

Pairing: Hoseok/Taehyung Rating: G Genre: Fluff | Amusement Parks | Friendship Word Count: 2164 Summary: “I bet you my entire allowance you’re going to chicken out.” “I will not chicken out!” “Mhmm. Sure.”In which Taehyung panics because Jungkook wants him to ride a record breaking roller coaster, but it takes the words of a nice stranger to calm him down.

AO3

[shikkakudazai]

I’m writing a story called “Grim Reaper” and it’s a namjin fic centered around Jin. I would say it’s rated PG-13 because of character death but it’s not really sad. If anything I would say it’s about overcoming fears and learning to ‘move on.’ I don’t know how to explain it exactly but I think it’s something different. Description:

“Namjoon, I’m scared.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here.”

So, if you want, you can read it >here< and please tell me what you think.

[shikkakudazai]

So I wrote a little thing and I’d appreciate it if you guys read and commented on it. I’m trying to get back into writing since I just finished this semester. It’s not amazing but it’s a start in getting back into the swing of things.

Title: Lucky Genre: Fluff Pairing: Namjoon/Seokjin Summary: “Namjoon was the luckiest man alive, but not because he had a nice car, a large house, or copious amounts of money in the bank…”

-Read it here-