Julian was once again watching Marcus as he slept peacefully, curled up underneath the duvet in their bedroom wearing nothing but his white woollen socks. Julian’s hand slipped through the covers and met with Marcus’ skin. It was warm and soft as the first day he’d felt it. He could hold Marcus forever. Though years had passed and Julian still felt like a creeper for staring at Marcus while he slept. But it was a strangely calming sight. Sure sometimes Marcus slept with his lips parted, slightly snoring and a complete mess, he looked nothing like an angel. But to him Marcus was beautiful; even as he slept he was a sight to stare at. His hair was a mess and his arms were curled into his chest as if he was hugging an invisible pillow.
Marcus steered in his sleep and Julian smiled to himself. He ran the tip of his finger along the curve of Marcus’ spine all the way down, barely touching the skin. A subconscious shiver passed through Marcus, as he curled into himself more. Julian chuckled and kissed the top of Marcus’ naked shoulder softly. Marcus murmured in his sleep and Julian inched closer, climbing on to the bed. He placed his lips on the man’s bare back softly kissing his shoulder, again he smiled. It was past ten, and Julian should have been at work. But the longer he watched Marcus the less he wanted to be at work. He didn’t really have to go. Grinning, Julian crawled over Marcus and hovered over the smaller man. Watched him intently then nudged him softly, half-heartedly wanting to wake him up. To his relief it wasn’t enough to wake Marcus up, but just enough for the smaller man to sleepily stretch his arms and legs like a lazy cat as he yawned aloud.
Marcus seemed exhausted; he would have been, after their antics last night. Julian smirked at the thought and leaned down kissing Marcus’ temple, then a bit lower. Marcus rolled onto his back, still asleep. His lips were slightly parted and his arms were stretched out over his head. Julian leaned in again and kissed Marcus’ nose then hovered over his lips, brushing over them and feeling his soft puffs of breath on his skin. Marcus flicked his tongue out and slowly licked his pink lips, making them look kissable as ever.
He couldn’t hold back anymore.
Julian leaned in and captured Marcus’ lips in a soft kiss. He tugged on his small soft lips with his teeth. Marcus reacted sluggishly and sleepily but once the initial shock died down Marcus kissed him back with a lazy, needy moan.
“Mhmm Cheese….” Marcus mumbled against Julian’s lips. Julian pulled back with a sceptical stare. Marcus was still asleep and apparently dreaming about cheese. He wondered whether Marcus knew about his strange ‘cheese’ dreams. Maybe he should talk to Marcus about them.
“Alright, weirdo.” Julian whispered –more to him than Marcus—then kissed Marcus again, this time a bit rougher and pulled back. “You should wake up now.” he whispered into the kiss and continued the rough assault. Stretching from under Julian, Marcus raised his arms and then wrapped them around Julian’s shoulders.
“Julian?” Marcus whispered, sleepily. His small hands grabbed on to the back of Julian’s shirt as his eyes slowly fluttered open. Those eyes, they were so bright. Julian said nothing in reply but only pecked a kiss on his lover’s soft cheek and ran his fingers through Marcus’ soft dishevelled hair.
When evening rolled in and Julian got back from he found Marcus reading in a corner. He’d placed himself on the far side of the piano with a Big read law book in his hands. The concentration in his eyes was never wavering; he hadn’t even heard Julian walking into the room. The light from the setting sun fell on his lover and made his skin almost glow in the evening light. Drinking up the sight for a moment Julian decided to leave Marcus to his studies.
Walking through the living room Julian passed pictures, of him and Marcus, each picture framed with a beautiful design. He paused, ran his fingers over the edge of the frame of one in particular. The picture was larger than the rest, and it stood out from the rest. It was the one that Julian truly cherished; A picture from almost two years ago. When He’d found the original copy he had it enlarged and framed. It held too many memories; there was no letting go of those memories. Now it sat atop the small eclectic fire place looking into the lounge so that everyone who entered would get a small glimpse into their love.
Letting out a puff of breath Julian made his way into their bedroom. He was surprised to see Marcus there. He had been busy studying not even ten minutes ago. Julian opened his mouth to speak but before he could Marcus’ body came fast at him, his rather slender arms latched on to him, his lips crushed Julian’s in a matter of seconds, kissing him deeply. Julian couldn’t protest; there was no way he could ever protest to advances from his lover.
After all Marcus was his weakness.
He wrapped his arms around the slender man’s waist pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. He could feel himself getting aroused. Heat rose in him. He couldn’t let that happen, he had to stop it before it went too far. After all they had a reservation to catch. His body ached for him to advance further. Have Marcus the way he did last night; under him, hot, sweaty and moaning his name out loud. Julian found himself slipping his hands under Marcus’ shirt, pushing up his t-shirt to feel the soft skin that was underneath. With swift turn he pressed Marcus up against the closet piece of furniture –their dresser- and hitched Marcus’ legs up and around his waist. Partially grinding together, Marcus moaned into the kiss, his hands latched on tighter to Julian’s shoulders and his teeth bit down on Julian’s lower lip playfully. However, moments later Marcus pulled away. Breathing heavily he smiled and looked up at Julian. “Happy Anniversary.” He whispered against the amber eyed man’s lips. Julian leaned in and kissed his lover on the lips then he was tempted; he was tempted with the dangerous desire which only Marcus could raise. Giving into the lust, the need was all he wanted to do. But to have his way would result in them being late. He groaned inversely, why now! He cursed.
“Get dressed, we’re going out.” Julian said in his authority tone. It wasn’t meant to sound as harsh as it did, but he had to mask the arousal that existed underneath. Marcus gave him a saddened and displeased look before his arms fell limp.
Julian groaned again and cursed under his breath as he walked out from their bedroom feeling more aroused than he was when he walked in.
An hour later they were at a restaurant. It was a small place, barely even known. But they made best Italian food that either of them had ever tasted. No high class, five star restaurants could ever compete with the taste.
When everything had gone public Julian was forced to make a statement clearing up a few things, mostly misunderstandings. He was strongly advised to deny all accusations of his relationship with Marcus and state that it was vicious lie, and that he was taken advantage of. It didn’t sit well with Julian. If anything it angered him. The whole ordeal ended with him punching in the man’s face and walking out from the conference room without ever looking back. He didn’t need ‘damage control’ simply because there was no damage. When the day of the press-release came he didn’t deny anything; he stated everything as they happened. No one had expected the Julian Dalton to say that he was in love. It took the media by storm. That was the day Marcus and he had found the small, hole-in-the-wall restaurant.
Marcus had already quit the firm by that time, it was clear that he was no longer needed there. He had expected Julian to follow the advice and deny all accusations and rumours, but when he didn’t Marcus was shocked, to say the least. After he had quit Marcus ended up going back to University to study Law. Even that wasn’t easy the first few months. People shot him looks, spread rumours about him, whispered behind his back. He had no friends… even the press started to harass him. When Julian caught Marcus crying –for the third time ever—from the stress that had built Julian’s blood boiled. Marcus knew that Julian hated to see him cry, it broke his heart. That day he had left with the promise to fix everything. Strangely a week later everything was normal. People spoke to him, no one harassed him and the media was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t know how, but he knew that Julian had something to do with it.
Julian looked up at Marcus who looked content with what was happening. He looked up and met Julian’s gaze and smiled warmly at him. There was something in his eyes that pained Julian; he knew what had caused that look. Julian had been busy for months, he hadn’t been home and at times it seemed as if he was avoiding Marcus. He felt ashamed with himself. He knew how Marcus felt when they were away for too long, it was the same feeling Julian had whenever he couldn’t be near the one he held closest. A memory flooded into Julian’s mind. It was of the day he asked Marcus to move in with him. That day had been a disaster.
It was not long after Julian and Marcus went public. Julian had proposed they move in together. A place for themselves; a new beginning. The idea was shot down on the spot and it had led to an argument neither wanted to remember. But by the end of it Julian knew exactly way Marcus had shot down the idea.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Marcus had said, his voice cracked at the end.
“What are you talking about? You won’t lose me Marcus-” Julian said, throwing his arms in the air in frustration. This was their first fight and Julian was angry enough to kill someone.
“I don’t think I could take it if you left me af-” Marcus was pulled into a warm embrace, suddenly. It was then he realized what had happened. Why he was reluctant.
Now as they silently ate dinner Julian reminisced in the past, there wasn’t a single thing he would have changed. He didn’t know why, but he preferred everything the way it did. Julian sipped his wine and then sighed mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say.
“We need to talk.” Julian said abruptly. His tone was flat, and his eyes didn’t glance up. He didn’t want to see the look on his lovers face.
The smile on Marcus’ face dropped and an alarmed look took its place. Marcus fidgeted for a moment and placed his glass down as he nodded in response. Marcus didn’t meet Julian’s gaze he stared at the white cloth on the table.
“Can we go outside and talk?” Julian asked, cautiously as he stood from where he sat. Marcus nodded yet again and followed suit. Without uttering a single word Marcus placed the napkin on the table and followed Julian outside.
He couldn’t do this, he kept thinking. He had to be wrong. When they stepped outside it was snowing again. Marcus exhaled a shaky breath, it condensed in the air. Was he meant to say something?
“Marcus-” Julian began, rubbing the back of his neck. He only did that when he was nervous or unsure. Marcus narrowed his eyes and looked up. His gaze matched with Julian’s. Something wasn’t right. He had a hunch about what it may be, but he hoped he was wrong. But Julian’s expressions gave nothing away, and he could only suspect the worst. The thought itself was enough for Marcus’ eyes to slightly tint in a dull red. He sniffed lowering his gaze for a moment then looked back up at Julian. He hoped, just a little, that Julian’s appearance would give something away… but he saw noting.
“Are you breaking up with me?” Marcus asked; his voice threatened to give his fear away and a tear threatened to escape his tear duct but he held back. Honestly, he hadn’t wanted to ask. What if his suspicions were true, what would he do then? Marcus didn’t know what he was meant to do. His heart pounded erratically.
Julian didn’t reply straight away, instead he looked deep in thought as he averted his gaze. Marcus’ string of doubt quadrupled, and his whole body shook; he wanted to break down crying. But he wasn’t going to. He wasn’t going to be weak, not if he could help it. Yet, Marcus would help but wonder how Julian could do something like this today. What angered Marcus was how he knew he knew he couldn’t hold a grudge against Julian. He loved the amber eyed man too much. Marcus’ heart ached as he watched Julian reacting differently to what he expected. He wanted Julian to laugh and tell him that he was joking. Possibly hold him and say it was just a misunderstanding, anything but what he was doing. The tear that Marcus held back, fell. It rolled down his cheek and into his parted dry lips. He could taste the saltiness from the tear as he sucked in a gulp of air. The longer he stood there the harder it was for him to breath.
“I suppose…in a way, I am.” Julian said, securing a glance at Marcus. An unexpended sob escaped from his quivering lips. His breath got caught in his throat and anger, frustration, want and love, all at the same time rushed through him.
“W-what?” The words passed his lips meekly. His lips stuck to each other, drily as he spoke.
“I just can’t be your boyfriend anymore, it’s not right.” Julian said looking at the snow under their feet and then back up. His eyes bright as ever, he loved looking into those eyes, except this time Marcus didn’t want to look into them because he knew that if he did he would cry.
Marcus felt weak at the knees as more tears trickled down from his eyes. Stay strong! He told himself, but it was pointless, he couldn’t. The cold air stung at his fingers as they trembled, he left light headed and slightly nauseous. The one and only person that he had fallen in love with was breaking up with him. He didn’t know what to do. His whole body ached as he sniffed and more tears and loud sobs escaped him without his control. Marcus stumbled back several feet. The snow fell on them, slowly and softly. Trying to wipe his tears he tried not cry, but he was too far gone. The sobs escaped uncontrollably, one after the other. He was making a fool out of himself in front of the one and only person he’ll ever love.
When felt a familiar, warm, comforting hand brush his cheek Marcus squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out the tears. “I’m sorry.” Marcus mumbled, he wasn’t sure what he was even apologizing for. He sniffled again and stood straight, take it like a man! He chanted.
“I should be the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t be putting you in this position. But Marcus…” Julian’s voice was calm as ever and only made Marcus’ heart clench, did he not even care? Julian’ other hand cupped his other cheek. Marcus despised himself for not even feeling angry at Julian. “Hey…look at me.” Julian requested as he firmly held the small brunette’s face and tilted his head up so eyes would meet. Why was he being so cruel, Marcus wondered as he tried to contain his erratic emotions.
“Marcus,” Julian whispered as he ran his thumb over his lover’s wet cheek. A loud sob escaped Marcus’ lips, he would never hear Julian say his name again would he? He thought… A life without his Julian didn’t sound right.
“Will you marry me instead?” The words were faint, but he heard them. The next sob got stuck in his throat and air left his body and his eyes snapped open. Those amber eyes he’d fallen in love with stared back at him firmly. They were expecting something from Marcus. He could read the fear in them like a book.
“What?” He asked in disbelief, his dry voice made it sound like a whisper as the final tear rolled down his cheek.
“I don’t want you to be my lover or my boyfriend anymore Marcus. I want you to be my husband instead.” Julian spoke softly as his thumbed wiped away the tears. “If you’d do me the honour that is,” He chuckled to himself. Marcus was still staring at him with his lips ajar, his breath stuck in his throat. Julian continued, “I Love you Marcus, and I can’t think of nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.” Marcus blinked as no comprehensible words passed his lips and tears continued to roll. Julian withdrew his hands from Marcus’ cheeks and got on his knee before him. Julian’s knee pressed into the wet snow as he pulled out a small black velvet box from his pocket and propped it open.
Marcus involuntarily stepped back. “Julian,” He said in a whisper, “w-what are you doing?”
“I’m not going to lie, I wanted to mislead you. And as terrible as this may make me sound, I wanted to make you cry. I figured you’d remember this moment better this way.” He said, ignoring Marcus’ question. “Marcus, I love you. Even those words don’t come close to the way I feel about you. I have absolutely no explanation as to why it feels like my life will be empty without you in it. To be honest, Marcus, I was in love with you the moment you spoke to me and since then I’ve been just falling deeper and deeper in love with you. I love you so much that sometimes when I wake up and you’re not there I have to check that the past few years weren’t just some dream.” Julian reached out with his free and held Marcus’ shaky hand in his, and continued. “So Marcus Berkley will you do me the greatest honour and marry me?” He asked, his voice soft and his eyes bright and hopeful as they pierced into Marcus’.
It’s been two years, six months, Twelve days, seventy two hours and three minutes since they’d met. Marcus couldn’t comprehend what he was witnessing. He couldn’t stop to sobs and they had only increased with every word Julian had spoken.
He saw the ring, in the small box. It gleamed under the light of the street lamp. Marcus’ gazed twitched from Julian’s smiling face to the ring in his hand, and back up.
“So will you?” Julian urged when Marcus didn’t stood frozen, still slightly sobbing. Marcus’ body swayed and Julian shot up and wrapped his arms around the man he loved more than himself, more than anything in the world and steadied him. Marcus nodded slowly and then covered his face with his palms, feeling like an idiot as continued to sob. He couldn’t stop! He was happy, exited and … angry and shocked that he could only let his emotions get the best of him. Julian’s arms tightened around him, hugging him tighter. One hand was on the small of Marcus’ back the other on the back of his head burying Marcus face into the crook of his neck.
“So is that a ‘yes’?” Julian asked as he continued to pat the back of Marcus’ head. He felt Marcus nod against the crook of his neck. Marcus, with all his strength, pushed Julian away. It caught Julian by surprise. He hadn’t expected Marcus to react that way.
“You want to M-marry me?” He asked, trying to comprehend what was happening.
“Yes Marcus….” Julian answered, smiling. He slowly stepped forward and cupped his cheeks as he awaited his answer. Marcus’ hands slipped down from his face and curled around Julian’s torso clinging onto him tightly. His heart was still racing and his mind frenzied.
It took Marcus a while to calm down, his heart ached at the thought of what happened. Julian didn’t release his hands for one second. He held on calming Marcus to the best of his abilities, after all he was to blame. Marcus sobs subsided and he pulled back slowly and cautiously. Marcus looked into Julian’s beautiful amber eyes and smiled shyly, he could feel the tears pooling at the eyes again but he ignored it.
“You okay?” Julian asked as he rubbed Marcus’ back. Marcus nodded and smiled.
“You know you haven’t answered my question yet.” Julian asked.
Marcus let out a breath of disbelief and beamed. “Isn’t the answer obvious?” He asked while reaching out to hold Julian’s face in his hands. Julian raised a brow at him. Marcus let out a laughing sob. “Of course I’ll Marry you Julian.” He said holding Julian’s face and kissing him on the lips lightly once. “God, yes.” He kissed Julian again. “I would love to!” he spoke against Julian’s lips. “I love you Julian.” He said finally looking into those amber eyes that managed to stay in his mind since day one.
“Thank you.” He responded, pleased and wiped away the tears from Marcus’ face. He pulled out the white-gold ring from inside the box and slipped it on to Marcus’ finger, then raised the hand to his lips and kissed atop the ring gently.
Looking back up at Marcus he tried not to laugh. It was cute. Marcus cheeks were flushed and pink his hair was dishevelled and the tip of his small nose was red, “You’re a sobbing mess.” He commented single laugh.
Marcus opened his mouth to protest but Julian crashed his lips against Marcus’. Marcus didn’t resist he kissed or his touch, he couldn’t. He’d grown so accustomed to the sheer pleasure of kissing Julian, the taste of him, the feel of him. He didn’t have the willpower to resist any of it. Marcus’ body moulded against Julian’s as he swung his arms around Julian’s neck and pulled him closer.
Deep down, as crazy as it may sound, both Julian and Marcus were thankful to the psychotic Secret Admirer, Anna, who had unintentionally brought them together because they had been so incomplete without the other, and now they had it all.
their love would last a life time.
