VAULTING AMBITION

a. hux   /   by evi

[xmusiings]

Get up… Fight… Get up… Fight… Get up… Fight… 

Who said you could stop? Who said you could rest? 

Get up…. And fight…. 

You were  m a d e   for this You’re worthless without it 

Don’t stop… Get up… Fight… Get up…. Or die…

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Denise Levertov, from Life in the Forest: Poems; “In Summer,” c. 1978 (x)

[onceweak]

i saw gifsets of domhnall talking about how he’s supposed to look like cate blanchett and my shitpost brain went what if hux was the illegitimate child of brendol hux and hela from thor ragnarok

[onceweak]

musaeprimi:

His hand never touched the blaster. It did not need to. As he willed it be done, the blaster was dismissed and sent flying across the room to shatter against transparisteel. Ren was furious. He had not been initially, but the gall of Hux to attempt to bargain had driven him to rage.

The Force bared down on Hux, and when Ren was finished with him, Hux was a picture painted of perfect subservience – almost reverence – forced to fold before his Supreme Leader, kneeling with his forehead pressed to Ren’s boot. The threatening red of Ren’s lightsaber loomed over Hux’s head.

“I have humoured your treasons in the past, but the joke is wearing thin,” Ren spoke, “the next attempt you make on my life, you best succeed in taking it. If you do not, I guarantee that you will lose more than an arm.”

Hux's first thought as the blaster was wrenched from his hand and shattered with the Force was of how ridiculously unnecessary the waste of a perfectly good weapon had been. Self-defense was one thing, but the waste of First Order resources was another, especially with the Order's recent losses. Leave it to Supreme Leader Ren to prioritise his rage over the furthering of the cause.

When Ren used his abilities to bend Hux into the shape he wanted, though, Hux learned that he had been wrong when just a moment ago he had thought surely he could never be more humiliated, more enraged. For a moment he trembled violently as he instinctively tried to fight against the very air as it held him down, but he forced his muscles to relax, even to try to persuade them it had been his idea to kneel in subservience.

"I understand, Supreme Leader," Hux rasped, the difficulty of forcing the words out making his voice grate against his own throat, even as he understood the necessity of doing what had to be done in order to appease Ren and walk away with his life. He was no stranger to such a situation, after all. "It won't happen again."

[onceweak]

hopefired:

rey hands over the tea, used to hux’s post-conference anxiety; though she hasn’t been working here too long, she’s come to know what to expect. it truly hadn’t gone that badly—certainly not the worst meeting of her time here by any means. “we don’t need to persuade them at all,” rey assures him. “they’re stalling to see if we’ll offer something better. if we don’t move for a day or two, they’ll fold.” 

Already Hux feels jittery with the thought that perhaps his new coworker has seen too much of his nerves, his weakness. He has tried to think of the way his thought processes can sometimes be as a strength in its own right that allows him to go over the same problems again and again until a solution can be found, but the very fact that such a turmoil can exist in his head never fails to dredge up an unpleasant feeling of shame.

“Perhaps you’re right. We’ll wait two days, as you said, before pursuing further action. Now,” he says, pausing to finish his tea before continuing. “I’ve been meaning to ask how you’ve been... acclimatising.”

[yellowcrayonwillow-archive]

[moramorah]

When in the end of workday u just want to get lost in thousands of pillows with a bottle of red semisweet

[lifeinpoetry]

is it so bad that / i don’t want my body to be my body anymore?

Nancy Huang, from “Catcalling Women Will Give Them Strong Skeletons,” Favorite Daughter (via lifeinpoetry)

[books-n-quotes]

Who can remember pain once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see.

Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale (via books-n-quotes)

[jarring]

me: *has feelings*

me: Pathetic. Disgusting. Won’t Let It Happen Again.

[onceweak]

u h m anyway....... i did a thing

[girlidiotdotcom-deactivated2023]

new alignment chart

chaotic/neutral/lawful + jock/prep/goth

[hopefired-a]

@onceweak    //    “i’m not sure what you want me to do, hux.” rey fights to keep her voice calm and controlled, but the arch of her eyebrows and the set of her jaw makes it plain that she’s annoyed at her coworker’s overbearing demeanor right now. “we can’t make them sign the contract any more quickly.”

[onceweak]

“Just let me think,” Hux snapped, irritated, and flapped a hand in Rey’s direction. The sinking feeling that the negotiation wasn’t going as smoothly as he’d first anticipated was, he was finding, being worsened by the humiliation of having one of his coworkers witness that failure of a meeting. “And pass me that mug of tea, please. There must be some way we can persuade them to agree to our terms. Frankly, I’m too exhausted to think of it currently.”

[mangosuga]

are you a can’t do math gay or a can’t read gay?

[mangosuga]

a follow up: are you a can’t hear gay or a can’t see gay?

[mangosuga]

are you a can’t drive gay or a can’t cook gay?

[mitchellwrites]

deathless ♚ sentence meme

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.

You are going to break your promise. I understand.

You’re lonely too.

It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.

I am your servant.

I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.

For you alone I will be weak.

I belong here, and you will not deny me.

I say these things, and the world listens.

I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.

In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.

I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.

I moved the earth and the water for you.

You will always run away with her.

You will always lose her.

You will always be a fool.

You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.

You have already done all of this and will do it again.

No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.

We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.

What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.

There need never be any rules between us.

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.

Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.

I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.

Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.

I can’t abide a poor liar.

You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.

Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.

Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

In his own country, Death can be kind.

What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?

Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.

I am no one; I am nothing.

Nothing in me was not made by you.

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.

Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.

I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.

If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.

What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?

Don’t you dare speak to me like that.

I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.

I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.

I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.

I have learned to watch everything die.

I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.

Are we not devils?

No one is now what they were before the war.

I have not seen you without your skin on.

Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.

We obsess. It’s in our nature.

I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.

In war you must always choose sides.

If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.

We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.

My old bones will follow yours soon enough.

It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.

I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.

After love, no one is what they were before.

I have survived, but I have not been spared.

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.

Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.

It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.

You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.

You will be so beautiful when you are old.

I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.

You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.

I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.

She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.

I still want to kiss you.

My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.

What happens to anything beautiful?

I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.

[lifeinpoetry]

When people say “trust // your intuition” – the dog inside me > doesn’t (o)bay / the animal inside / feels the urge to go off//

Lara Mimosa Montes, from “PERFORMANCE STUDIES,” published Hyperallergic (via lifeinpoetry)

[sagamemes]

fifty ways to kiss someone.   send me a 💏 and i will randomise a number in order for my muse to kiss yours…

…good morning.

…goodnight.

…goodbye.

…where it hurts.

…where it doesn’t hurt.

…on a falling tear.

…to shut them up.

…in secrecy.

…in public.

…desperately.

…in joy.

…in grief.

…discreetly.

…casually.

…passionately.

…lazily.

…to distract.

…as encouragement.

…for luck.

…on a scar.

…on a place of insecurity.

…in a rush of adrenaline.

…in relief.

…in danger.

…as a ‘yes’.

…as an apology.

…as a suggestion.

…as a lie.

…as a promise.

…as comfort.

…after a small rejection.

…to wake yours up.

…forcefully.

…to pretend.

…to gain something.

…to give up control.

…without a motive.

…because yours is running out of time.

…because mine is.

…because the world is ending.

…because the world is saved.

…out of pride.

…out of greed.

…out of lust.

…out of anger.

…out of envy or jealousy.

…out of spite.

…out of habit.

…out of necessity.

…out of love.