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Noah Kahan
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Mike Driver
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ojovivo
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Claire Keane
Doug Jones
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@theartofmadeline
Today's Document
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@opossumemoji
the thing that makes me saddest is that im not your favorite anymore and maybe its better for you and i wont say anything and i dont think you want to talk about it anyway but i know you dont care about me in the same way you did even a few weeks ago and i am sad about that
on the one hand im aware that sitting around crying doesnt help anyone and that there is a bigger picture that i can sometimes remember and on the other hand this just hurts and im sad and embarrassed and wish i had reacted better and i know wishing that is pointless too but god
i wish i understood anything and i wish you told me about anything so i could understand and maybe you couldnt or just didnt want to but i still wish you’d told me that much and i know thats not fair but honestly i understand so little i have no idea what is anymore and i know posting this is a shitty thing to do so im going to delete it in a few minutes once i finish crying and hope you dont see it in the meantime
my entire life feels like that episode of friends where rachel has to move out of the apartment so chandler and monica can live together and im rachel
im actually as confused as ever and maybe even more hurt but i literally can never tell you that so
look im going to do my best to be direct with you but here im going to be vague and angry
theres still stuff i havent said but i already said too much
im just sad because i still feel the same way about you as i always have and you dont feel the same way about me
i know its not that simple and I know I should have asked if thats what you meant
you made me feel special and like i was someone worth taking care of
and i know that kind of self love has to come from within or whatever
but
you were the one thing in my life that ever made me want to have a plan or even move forward at all
and i dont know how you want me in your life anymore and maybe i should ask but maybe you dont know either
so i am grieving
and i dont know which part is more but
