オレンジ魚十七

英語と日本語を話せます。日本へ行きました。日本に住みたいですよ！私は二十一歳です。看護の大学生です。友達に成りましょうね！

[orangefish17-blog]

Damn

It’s been a while since I’ve had time to be on here. Today, I ended up with like 6 hours of free time between class and work, and idk what to do with myself. I am getting a lot of homework done, which is obviously nice. Washed my bedding too. I feel productive, my new depression medication dosage is helping, I think. I’m enjoying balancing school and 4 jobs, but it’s hard haha.

[orangefish17-blog]

Moved In

Finally moved into my dorm! *sigh of relief* I’m so excited to be finishing my last year here. And, I got a private room again, so no complaints on my end, haha. I’m training now for Nightwatch (this is the third time, so it’s rather boring). Being away from home, and seeing all my friends is really nice though. I still have to stop home and grab a few things that I forgot (like my backpack, nice going, right?). I have a bit of grocery shopping to do as well. But, all in all, I feel very prepared for what school has to throw at me. Here’s to hoping!

Another fun tidbit: I decided to create a FetLife account. I’m not going on there to meet people and have relations with them. I want to meet and talk to people with my same interests, so that I can improve my experiences and explore more with my partner. Does that seem weird? I’m not hardcore like some of the people on this site. But, I do have my personal turn-ons, and I’ve been wondering how to go about exploring things and “getting my feet wet” so to speak.

Hopefully everything goes well this semester!

[orangefish17-blog]

Preparations

So, I’m finally preparing to get ready and go back to school. Woohoo! (Haha, just kidding). I have a new roommate this year, and we have been e-mailing back and forth. She seems pretty cool! I’m excited to meet her, but I’m nervous she won’t like me for some reason. I have to figure out how to fit work into school, because I have credit card bills to pay! *insert more sarcastic enthusiasm here*

I’m having trouble wondering whether I should leave my job at McDonald’s. I have been there for 5 years, and I love the people I work with. The pay is good too. However, we all get treated like crap. Now that we were sold to a franchise, changes have been going on, and it’s really been effecting the managers, and in turn, us crew. I have also been promised a supervisor position for over a year, and there is no movement on the management side to make this happen. And, when I come back for another closing shift the next day, and the same coffee pot I put in the dishwasher at 1am is still there at 8pm, I can’t handle that. I was so angry. No one cares about the closers. I want to leave, but I don’t know where to go.

*sigh*

[orangefish17-blog]

Dad

So, today I got to hang out with my father. We don’t get to spend much time together, and a lot of the time I feel like he doesn’t really care about me or my brother, since he isn’t really ever there for us. But, today went well. We went shopping and had lunch/dinner. I just wish things could be like that all the time. He can be rather lazy and selfish, and that’s what hurts so much. I understand people can be like that sometimes, and that’s okay. But, when it affects your ability to properly express your love and concern to your children, I think there’s an issue. He said he loves me and would never hurt me intentionally. I believe that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that 21 years of my life have gone by with me feeling like my dad could care less if I was here or not. Hopefully things will get better (yes, I know many of you would say I have “daddy issues” and you’re probably right, but I don’t call men “daddy” in bed). I just want to be his princess, because I never had the dad that would sit down and have a tea party with me and my stuffed animals, or let me paint his toenails when I was little.

On another note, finally getting ready to start paying back the loan from my grandparents that they provided me with, so that I could travel to Japan, haha. I owe so much money!!!

[orangefish17-blog]

So, here I am writing my first Tumblr post. I’m sure anyone who reads this has already seen a bunch of these, haha. I’m here to see what people are thinking and talking about. I want to improve my writing skills, and maybe even get life advice from strangers (I believe it is some of the most un-biased advice possible).

Here’s a bit about me:

I am 21 years old this year, and I live in Michigan. I traveled to Japan for a month this year, and loved every moment of it. I do know Japanese, and while my grammar is strong, my vocabulary is very limited. I go to college and study Nursing. I want to deliver babies as a midwife someday! I’m rather lazy and antisocial, but I can be extremely energetic, upbeat, and talkative when the situation calls for it (like when I’m at work).

I’m certainly the “mom-friend,” and so that’s part of the reason I’m here. I have trouble talking about my life, because I hear everyone else’s problems, and I figure they have enough going on and don’t need to deal with my crap too. I’m not just here to complain, but sometimes I will be dumping my thoughts out on here, just so I can feel like I told someone, even if no one reads any of it.

I suffered a lot last year in school due to my depression, and ending a 6-year relationship didn’t help that situation at all. I’m excited to be a part of this community, and feel that it will help me to grow and strengthen myself, while learning about others and enjoying my time.

(Disclaimer: I may occasionally post in Japanese. Pardon if I make mistakes, I’m still learning, and also remember that Google Translate isn’t always very accurate [if you ever use it to translate my Japanese posts]. I want to practice my Japanese, and I feel like there has to be some people on here that know it, so I appreciate HELPFUL feedback!)