A Visit to the Bathroom
“Bro, I need to use the bathroom.”
Bro looks up from his book. “Then use no, am I stopping?”
“Bro, will they say anything if I take this Asterix to the toilet?.”
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
Jules of Nature
ojovivo
Cosimo Galluzzi

Love Begins
DEAR READER

★
art blog(derogatory)
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor

Andulka
macklin celebrini has autism

Kiana Khansmith

No title available
Keni
KIROKAZE

Discoholic 🪩

⁂
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@overheardatblossoms
A Visit to the Bathroom
“Bro, I need to use the bathroom.”
Bro looks up from his book. “Then use no, am I stopping?”
“Bro, will they say anything if I take this Asterix to the toilet?.”
"I'm going to take our friendship to another level by admitting this to you - *pregnant pause* - I haven't read Lord of the Rings."
Oh, there's a novelisation of the LotR movies!
Sitting in the Isles
Two teenage girls sitting in the science fiction and fantasy isle, one holding a camera, the other browsing through the books.
Girl 1: 'Dude everyone's judging us for sitting like this'
Girl 2: 'Chill, nobody even knows us'
Within half an hour almost everyone browsing at the store is sitting on the floor in the isles.
Girl 2: 'What did I tell you?'
Da book is no da movie...
Dude 1: Dooode, why are you picking Devil Wears Prada?
Dude 2: Oh, I saw the movie. Meryl Streep was awesome.
Dude 1: Doood doood doood... Meryl Streep is in the movie, not the book.
Dude 2: Yea, right.
Said Dude 2 drops Devil Wears Prada and picks up Bridges of Madison County.
Dude 1: *Facepalm*
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Me: (surreptitiously trying to signal to manager behind counter to be discreet) Hello! I'm back again after last month - this is my wife; she's been here before many years ago, she was looking forward to coming back etc etc.
<putting small, discreet pile of 3-4 books on the counter>
Manager: (beaming!) Hello madam! So nice to see you. <beat> This is *minimum* amount sir is buying this time! Usually he is buying *much* more!
Wife: (grinning) Is that so?
Me: (grimacing frantically at him behind her back to tone it down, without success) Er, umm, er...
Girl: Vikas! Come here!(from across the room)
Vikas: Yeah 1 sec (busy browsing books)
Few mins later
Girl: Vikas! Come here!
Vikas: Coming
2 mins later- Vikas finally goes to the girl
Vikas: You asked for me?
Girl: Yeah can you get me that book from the top shelf?
I was enquiring with the staff about George Mikes' book "How to be an Alien".
A lady with white hair, and the distinct look of being a teacher, remarks "You actually pronounced his name right! You must be a student of literature. Where did you study?".
Striking a conversation
Guy 1: Why are you going there da? That's romance section.
Guy 2: Yeah I know dude. I just want to see if they have one book.
Guy 1: Full romance books you're reading? Are you Romeo or Devdas?
Guy 2: No dude, I saw one chick in my bus reading some Nora Roberts book. I thought I can say I also read it if I get the chance to talk to her.
Guy 1: Dude you're my guru from now da!
Equality
Kid : Mom can I get one book please? I want Narnia
Mom : OK choose one book only one.... OK
Kid : Mom why do you have 5 in your hand. I want 5 too.
Mom : * gives up*
Haven't seen a mom give up so easily :) EVER!
Overheard at Blossom's
Girl 1 across the aisles to Girl 2: Hey, have you got the book you were looking for?
Girl 2: No, not that one. But I'm finding lots of other books I want.
Girl 3 (not with Girl 1 or 2): Hmm, that sounds familiar.
Situation 2:
Child to mother: I want 'Clifford's birthday party.'
Mother to staff: Please find him 'Clifford's birthday party.'
Child eagerly waits until the staff member finds the book.
Mother to the rest of her adult entourage: He's found what he wants. Let's go.
Child: Wait, can I look around a bit more?
Seeing a fully grown dude listen to a relatively younger girl at the kids section and pick up The Faraway Tree is a sight of its own. But I got my kicks when she dragged him to the top floor, and while he was still trying to navigate his way through the titles, she beelines to the psychology section. She looks around with a gleam in her eye to ensure people are watching and loudly proclaims. "I found the perfect section for you, hurry up! It's called self help" And grins as his face turns to a bright shade of red.
Random Conversation - Only in Blossoms
Scruffy-looking book enthu-type [to distinguished professorial-looking gentleman browsing same pile]: "Sir, may I pull out that title, from the bottom?" Distinguished professorial-looking gentleman [helping hold pile steady]: "Ah, Task Force Helmand - Afghanistan."
Scruffy-looking book enthu-type [Earnest tone]: "Yes, the Indian Army was there in the 19th century."
Distinghished professorial-looking gentleman [In 'Every-Schoolboy-Knows' tone]: "Yes yes, of course, the Malakand Field Force."
"Dude buy this book, it smells nice"
Girl : "I *love* Calvin and Hobbes. Such a lovely thing it is." Guy : "Ah, that one ? I read it all." Girl : "I know that you did not." Guy : "I did. It gets published in the newspaper no ?" Girl : "Eh ?" Guy : "It's about a small kid in a cap and his pet, who go on adventures no ?" Girl : "Eh ? No. That's not what it is nor it's about" Guy : "Hey, I know. He has a pet dog no ?" Girl who visibly couldn't take this in any longer went to the shelf which stocked the Calvin and Hobbes collection, picked up a C&H book and forced it upon him. Guy (after inspecting the book for a while) : "Close enough. It's been a while since I last read it."
Picking up Girls: Blossoms Edition
Boy: Ah, the charm of Blossoms has lost on me. I have a Kindle nowadays.
Girl: That's bad.
Boy: Yeah I know. It's like being sorted into Slytherin when you were destined for Gryffindor.
Girl: That's probably the wittiest thing a guy has ever said. Why don't we head out to Indian Coffee House afterwards?
Two teens waiting with a couple of books on Rumi. The "Uncle" ahead of them had two baskets of books.
Teen 1: Is uncle opening a library?
Teen 2: (giggles) If I had the money, even I would, OK.