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I'm old. I'm married to my one. I love him more than myself, and some days it's harder on my spirit than others. I was once a silly small giggly fairy at heart. I want to have a safe place to be with people like me. I do not tolerate those who are mean. I do not allow those who are under 21. ✨✨✨

If you have ADHD, physical touch is more than just a love language.

It’s dopamine regulation.

ADHD brains don’t use dopamine efficiently, especially in pathways tied to motivation, attention, and reward. That means we’re constantly, often unconsciously, seeking inputs that help increase dopamine or make it more available.

Physical touch is one of those inputs. When you experience touch, especially skin-to-skin contact, your brain activates reward pathways (including the mesolimbic dopamine system). Nerve receptors in the skin send signals up through the spinal cord to brain regions like the somatosensory cortex and insula, which then connect to dopamine-rich areas like the ventral tegmental area (VTA).

That’s the same general system involved in motivation, focus, and “this matters, stay here.”

So touch doesn’t just feel nice; it literally helps the brain engage.

That’s why things like hugging, leaning into someone, cuddling, or physical intimacy can make your thoughts feel clearer, your body calmer, and your attention more anchored. You’re not imagining that shift. You’re getting a small but meaningful dopamine bump that helps stabilize your system.

Safe, affectionate touch like hugging a friend, cuddling your partner, or snuggling your kids can activate those same pathways. For neurodivergent parents especially, that kind of contact can co-regulate both nervous systems at once.

Physical touch helps pull us out of that floaty, under-stimulated, “I cannot get my brain to turn on” state. It supports attention, reduces overwhelm, and helps us stay present.

Without enough of it, a lot of ADHDers experience the opposite: brain fog, irritability, restlessness, and emotional dysreg bulb. And of course, that disconnected, under‑stimulated feeling where nothing quite “clicks.”

We can't initiate voluntary movement without enough dopamine either. Dopamine info tends to center on attention and motivation, but we legit can't move without it. In ADHD, low or dysregulated dopamine means your brain struggles to bridge intention and action.

You can think about a task, want to do it, and even know how to start, but your body stays stuck because the dopamine signal that should “green‑light” movement through your motor circuits is weak, inconsistent, or offline. That’s not laziness or indecision; it’s a system that can’t line up the plan with the physical go.

And when access to safe, wanted touch disappears? Our systems don’t just miss it. They lose a source of dopamine regulation.

This is why so many of us unconsciously seek out pressure and contact:

-Sitting on our hands or tucking them under our legs

-Leaning into people, walls, or furniture

-Craving closeness, hugs, or being held

-Seeking out physical intimacy or contact

-Hugging pillows or squishmallows

We’re not being “too much.” We’re trying to get our brains what they need to function.

Yes, weighted blankets and similar tools can help, but they’re approximations. There’s a difference between simulated pressure and real human touch, especially when it comes to how strongly those reward pathways activate.

If you want to support an ADHD nervous system (yours or someone else’s), think in terms of accessible, meaningful touch:

-Long hugs (long enough for your system to actually shift)

-Holding hands, back rubs, steady pressure

-Laying close, skin-to-skin contact

-Snuggle a pet (they are elite co-regulators)

-Physical intimacy and sex, when it’s safe and wanted

-Snuggling your kids, your partner, or people you feel safe with.

This is not extra. This is not indulgent. This is not optional for a lot of us. It’s neurochemical.

When you use it to manually jump-start your frontal lobe, touch is accessibility.

From: Dopamine Dreams

ponandzi-blog

28 For You

ponandzi-blog

29 Black Widow

Exhausted and panicked

I'm not suicidal. I just want to stop fighting.

I got sick before Valentine's Day. It was about 18 days of miserable symptoms, many of the days were so bad I did not eat, or clean the house, or do anything but "survive", so I could move to bed instead of on the couch once it was time.

My family survived. They are fine. Everything has been a mess but it's fine.

I started to feel better on Thursday. 4 days ago. And the weekend was immediately overtaxing. Lots of family time, which I love. Lots of errands. Lots of anger at me. I can't even process.

I am at my absolute mental end. Emotionally and mentally exhausted. So bad. I can barely contain sobbing over all of it, at every moment.

I forgot troublespapi's name the other day. Literally. I repeated a wrong name over and over again trying to figure out why it did not sound right. That's where my existence is.

I am so tired. I get afraid to say it "out loud" because I will jinx it to be worse. But I am so so tired. And I wonder how long I can go on. I am not suicidal. I love my family. I love existing. I am just so damn tired and can't seem to get a foothold to rest.

Whiny sick hormonal girl post

I have chronic health issues that are livable, just exhausting sometimes. I don't even like writing it. I feel like I am lying for attention. I am anemic and pretty unhealthily low on potassium, magnesium, protein and other important stuff on a regular basis. I have food allergies/intolerances which developed into arfid as they worsened, which is fun to argue with, but I win enough to eat well enough most days to keep going because I am smarter than my brain.

I'm also 50. My body has decided it's time to rebel around the hormones that assist in feeling livable. They are either too angry, or too despondent, to support my body in a functional way some days. This week has been one of the hardest. I am so weak I have done almost nothing, anytime I can excuse it away with the level of guilt I can hold. I have had a different style secondary migraine for 4 days now after the regular migraine I have gotten since childhood, thankfully it was shorter, for 3 days. I have not eaten enough, or drank water, because I have been nauseous and so miserable and did not communicate properly to get help from him. I can't even argue that he should be more in tune because I feel too bad.

And, for a cherry on top, over the last few months, I started getting anxiety when I am eating. I don't feel anxious about eating, my body produces anxiety chemicals as I eat and I have to argue with them that I am actually fine while I eat.

So I'm posting this for myself, for later, to see, you need to be more communicative and strong in asking for help before you are so sick. Stop letting yourself lie and become so weak and miserable just because you want to pretend you are okay. He's too strong to waste letting him help you. FFS your phone is heavy and your arms hurt holding it, what is wrong with you?

You're going to do better. You want to. It's just not what you learned. Try to let yourself before you choose to suffer so long next time.

Picture of your genius invention safe breakfast he made you to get as much iron and protein as possible in one belly full. Blackeye peas, jarred baby food chicken, and black olives. It tasted delicious and you wrote this post to ignore your brain poking you to notice how well it produced anxiety chemicals while you were chewing. You would like a second bowl and he can't read your mind so you're working on asking.

Just me and my doll against the world 😴

memeuplift

nick-nellson

The Little Mermaid (1989) dir. John Musker, Ron Clements

bloodyknucklesdaddy

as a dom, it’s an act of love to turn your brain off.

it’s an act of love to put my hands on your hips or your throat or your thighs and coo to you in a voice that just starts to melt you. its an act of kindness to show you that it’s safe to drop the stress of the day, the minutiae of it that threatens to boil your nerves. it’s an act of care to take the reins. you don’t have to talk. you don’t even have to think. all you need to do is follow my directions. i don’t want to take control from you to benefit myself- i want to take it so you can rest. so you can really experience pleasure and being watched over.

i love you. come here. let me help.

papistrouble