Crybaby @pastelbbgm - Tumblr Blog

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Looking after your Puppy.

1. Run your fingers through their hair. Include nails, gently, along the scalp. 2. Petting. Remember petting. Take your time. Turn it into a massage. 3. Collars, bracelets, pretty presents with a mark of your ownership should be presented when they are being good. 4. Offer chocolate, and tea, whenever they bake up a batch of frownies. 5. A big cushion, or lots of little cushions in a nest, makes a great resting place for your pup. 6. A bowl full of their favourite candy will remove any grumpus. 7. Angry pups have one default “reset” button… treats. Now, you just have to coax your pup out to give them the treat… 8. Call them pet names, because they like to be reminded they are yours. 9. Whenever you pass by them, give them a scritch behind the ears before moving on. 10. Treat your puppy to their favourite drink. Chocolate milk, warm tea, flavoured water; put it in their favourite bowl. 11. Training is good, treats are better. Reward your puppy any time they do something good. 12. Regular walkies, even just inside the house, make your puppy happy. A happy pup is a loyal pup. 13. Chew toys in their favourite colour are a guaranteed way to make them happy. 14. Add pretty charms to their collar. For rewards, for fun, for no reason at all. 15. Play fetch! Throw their favourite toys for added fun. 16. Wrap things up, watch their face light up as you tell them they can open it… with their mouths. 17. Remember which stuffed toys, chew toys, and books are their favourite. Set up a den filled with these things and a bowl of their favourite candy. 18. Scritches. Tummy, back, ears, all over. 19. When you see them yawn, it’s time to pull out the comfy blanket. 20. Take time to listen to your puppy, find out their favourite places so you can take them whenever they’re sad. 21. A car ride where they can stick their head out the window will always, always make everything better. 22. Biting, growling, scratching; during play or sex, is a way of them saying they approve. You’re liked. 23. A large collection of chew toys within reach, at all times, is essential. 24. Lots of kisses, over faces, noses, paws, always important. 25. Take them out on coffee dates, order their favourite drink. Sit and people watch. 26. PLAY FIGHTS! 27. Gnawing on you is their way of letting you know they’re happy. Let the chewing happen. 28. Pamper. Bathe your puppy, swaddle them in blankets, put on their favourite film. 29. Get them to bark their answers, as much as possible. 30. Let puppy choose where they want to fall asleep. Whether it’s at your feet, or snuggled in your arms. Their choice will make them happiest.

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batou

we, the uglies, deserve love too

aestheticallypleasingurmom

are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for

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““I’m full of love, and nobody wants it.””

— Dylan Klebold (via naturaekos)

unicornamy

Interesting Story of a Boyband Member Forced to Hide Sexuality

Metro has an article about Bad Boys Inc. singer David W Ross that has him describing what it was like to be forced to hide his sexuality while in the boyband:

I was 19 when I joined Bad Boys Inc. A guy who helped put the band together saw my picture in a modelling agency and he suggested I should audition. I danced a bit, sang a bit and signed the contract. It was about how we looked rather than our talent.

Both me and Matthew were gay; Ally and Tony were straight. It was an unspoken thing – we wouldn’t mention it – you couldn’t be out back then. In 1993, it was illegal to have a boyfriend if you were under 21 and HIV was affecting the gay community very badly. It was a very dark time.

Here’s where it gets interesting - being told what not to do and why he just couldn’t come out (two things some fans today can’t seem to ever imagine happening):

I was told not to walk down Old Compton Street in Soho because there were ‘rumours’ about me and I was told not to flick my hair on TV because it looked gay. It wasn’t just our career that would have suffered if I’d come out – thousands of pounds were spent on us and many people’s jobs depended on us.

This part is interesting because he talks about having to lie in interviews - being asked if he liked men…and he said no - even while living with his boyfriend:

I was living with my boyfriend at the time, a photographer who was quite well known around London. I wasn’t paranoid about people finding out I was gay but I was f***ing miserable – that’s for sure. I lied a few times. I did a magazine interview where I was pointedly asked if I fancied men and I said no. That really upset some of my friends. What was I supposed to say? It’s not as if I was in Erasure – I was in a boy band. There was no space to get activist-y about it – it was a case of do you want a career or not?

This is interesting because he talks about talking around questions. Where have we seen this kind of deflection before?

I tried to manoeuvre around questions. Whenever I was asked who my ideal girlfriend would be, I said The Little Mermaid – how gay can you get? I had to make it up as I went along – we had no media training, no dance lessons, no singing lesions. Nothing was prepared, we were just thrown out there.

There was no malicious plan, such as: ‘Let’s put two gay guys in a boy band and make sure no one finds out.’ The people who put us together were very short-sighted and didn’t think things through.

And the effects of being closeted?

Being in the closet makes you absolutely miserable, which is one of the reasons I left the band. It’s horrible. It’s different for younger people now but there are generations of people who had, and still have, to be in the closet professionally. You end up having to compartmentalise your life psychologically, which is very damaging.

Interesting comment on the use of gender-neutral words:

You monitor everything you say all the time. You don’t use gender-specific words when you’re talking about your partner or who you’ve been seeing. You end up lying through your teeth. You take on this view that there’s something wrong with you that has to be hidden. It has a negative psychological impact on you. It’s a horrible way to live.

You are not being authentic, although how authentic can you be in a boy band? There was this level of awareness among us that we were full of s*** the whole time. We weren’t put together because our producer thought: ‘I’ve got all these great songs so I’ll put a band together to get them in the charts.’ No, his motivation was: ‘I’m going to destroy Take That.’ We were f***ed from the start and we knew it. The fact we charted was a miracle.

And here we get to the heart of it:

Boy bands are designed to extract money from little girls’ piggy banks, so I’m sure managers probably still aren’t keen on boy band members coming out as gay. Little girls probably don’t actually care, they might think: ‘I’ll be the one to turn him.’

Oh look, he has a comment about One Direction:

It is probably easier now. My film is about marriage equality and people being together because they love each other. It seems the younger generation – I sound so old – doesn’t have a problem with it. If someone from One Direction was to come out it would be a big deal but most people wouldn’t give a s***.

And sadly, a commentary on how things aren’t any better in Hollywood even now:

As bad as things were in the pop world, they’re worse in Hollywood. I’m an actor now and live in Los Angeles. There are casting directors who won’t see actors who are out as gay. Most films and TV shows are aimed at an audience of 30-year-old men living in middle America who won’t accept their gun-toting megastars if they come out of the closet.

People are too scared to think that the macho guy who is blowing people’s heads off on screen might be sex with a man in the night time – but those attitudes are changing.