do you guys wanna see the cake i just made
what am I saying, of course you do
the mushrooms are made out of egg whites, sugar, vanilla, and cocoa powder! they taste almost exactly like toasted marshmallows
Mushreingues!
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@pawnsvictory
do you guys wanna see the cake i just made
what am I saying, of course you do
the mushrooms are made out of egg whites, sugar, vanilla, and cocoa powder! they taste almost exactly like toasted marshmallows
Mushreingues!
Somebody ate a hole in the flour.
Any idea who it could be?
Common eider
This needs to be immortalized because it's what made me turn on the sound. And they were right
my boyfriend made this meme and said i can put it here so i did
mr cassowary
We need to study the powerful psychic field around tumblr posts that causes people to hallucinate entire lines and paragraphs that are not present in the actual text
how dare you accuse me of putting orphans in a woodchipper
happy 12th anniversary, flight rising!
this year, i decided to recreate all of the elemental unhatched eggs as cake pops! they are super tasty, made of vanilla cake with milk chocolate ganache, and decorated with candy melts. ♥
i made another thing
This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?
affirmations
i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature
i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths
i am building a machine greater than myself
i am able to make phone calls and appointments
I have had a really full and busy day today, but the highlight was:
So I'm sitting in the staff work area and one of my colleagues comes up to me. There's an open day this weekend, and so we need to plan an activity for the would-be students.
"Simple!" I say. "Let's get them to dissect some owl pellets. Hands on, fun, they get to play with skulls."
"Good idea!" she says. "But we'll need something even fancier for the open day in February. What can we do? Perhaps we can take some soil samples."
And as we're debating the photogenic merits of soil Vs dead mice...
Suddenly, a Dashing and Handsome Stranger (read: an autistic engineering lecturer) appears with a flourish (read: launches himself into a seat beside us while visibly and physically vibrating with excitement about his special interest being Useful) and asks "HELLO I'M SORRY DID YOU SAY SOIL BECAUSE I HAVE A RAMAN MICROSCOPE"
"Amazing!" declares my colleague. "...Who are you?"
"COME AND SEE IT!!!" he says, currently the human embodiment of the :D emoticon.
We went and saw it. It's an excellent microscope and his ten minute infodump about it was both spectacular and also extremely useful. We're going to use it to assess microplastics.
I have a new friend.
Guess who I saw again today! I say 'saw', he hunted me down to invite me to train on using his microscopes - it turned out some of the engineers asked if they could look at explosive substances with it and he was like NO YOU MAY NOT IT'S POWERED BY A LASER so now he's insisting that everyone train on it, but wanted to ask me if I'd like to do it. Obviously I have said yes. He's getting an SEN as well so he's put my name down for that, too.
And then we compared notes on working in labs, and he told me about the time he was sent to the 'chemical cupboard' in his last lab and found a Tesco bag of asbestos, three and a half kilos of TNT, and half a pint of cyanide, and when he told the health and safety woman she just said he should use a lone working protocol, and he was so angry he yelled A LONE WORKING PROTOCOL WILL NOT SAVE THE CHILDREN FROM A DIRTY BOMB, CAROLINE
I love this man
Why did the chemical cupboard have three and a half kilos of trinitrotolulene (the full name for TNT, for those unaware), and was it at the very least an explosives cupboard?
It was not in an explosives cupboard, and he didn't know. Basically this was in an HE building being converted over to a young offenders institute, and for whatever reason, all the science teachers quit en masse as the switch was happening, leaving all their students in the lurch. So one morning he came into work, was told he was being promoted to Technical Demonstrator, given a Bunch of Mysterious Keys, and told he had three hours to familiarise himself with the contents of the chemical cupboard.
"Great," he said. "Where is the chemical cupboard?"
"Shrug emoji," his boss said gravely, and wandered off to have crisps.
So he spent an hour wandering the building and trying his keys in every lock before finally finding a door that opened, and upon finally opening it, was immediately greeted by a Tesco carrier bag on the floor labelled 'Asbestos, do not touch'.
"Right-o," he thought. "No touching that."
But then he had two hours left to familiarise himself with the packed shelf contents of quite a large room, and the problem is that when you tell an autistic lab tech to familiarise themselves with a room full of chemicals, what they hear is not "Have a quick look so you have an idea of what's there", it's "These chemicals must be catalogued in detail and also here have a time pressure," so he was going to be both Thorough and Grumpy about this. And this room was packed.
The oldest bottle he found was a reagent opened in 1959.
It had crystallised.
("It was quite beautiful, actually," he told me dreamily. "A work of art. I wish I'd kept it.")
The cyanide, when he finally found it, was in a stoppered glass vial. So that was the point he lost his shit and went and grabbed Caroline.
The kicker is, Caroline didn't care. She insisted they didn't have the money or resources to spare on getting rid of it. So he had to march all the way to the Dean's office.
"You look like you're having a bad day," she said warily.
"Well I thought it would peak with the Tesco carrier bag of asbestos I found," he said, "but I was very wrong."
And that's how you give your boss a heart attack.
this 'being really tired after work' thing is really getting in the way of this 'pursuing my artistic hopes and dreams' thing has anyone else noticed this
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
(Timelines have been tied in a pretty bow and are for decorative purposes only.)
<*>
Lead Pipes and Violence: Correlation or Causation?
Something bumped into Lois's desk.
Scowling at the interruption, she looked up, ready to ream out whatever clumsy moron had interrupted her concentration.
And then she looked further up.
"Uh, hi," said the scruffy disaster of a labrador puppy with a tentative smile. "I'm Clark, Clark Kent. I just started here a week ago, and I'm working on an exposé on lead pipe use in Metropolis? But I'm not sure where to start. Perry said you know where to find stuff?"
Lois dropped her gaze to her desk for a moment, huffed out an exasperated breath, and mentally said goodbye to her plans of going home early. "Fine. I'll help. Okay, the first thing is to find out when lead pipes were commonly installed. Then look up the city maps for neighborhoods built around that time, and cross-reference against city records for areas where they've already been removed . . ."
Clark scribbled industriously on his notepad.