I still have bad days.
Days when it wouldn't matter how sober and focused I was, no matter how many times I saw movie, even if it was my favorite show as a child; I still would remember nothing about it other than that I know I’d seen it.
It’s har snowing part of a “nerd" community FL of subtle gatekeepers. If you don't pick up on a certain reference within .25 seconds; YOU ARE TRASH TIER!!
It really is a shitty situation when it takes twice as long just to recognize the name of a show. Now that it’s been about a year; along with some minor damage along the way; it just seems stupid to say”oh ya I saw that but I don’t remember.”
I try to make jokes; lightheartedly say “I know I saw it; but I’ve been hit in the head too many times since then!” But it sucks; because no one can really see that yes; ikniwnihavw seen it but also no, I do not remember it. Because; quite frankly; I have be one convinced all my brain damage just focuses its3lf on the parts of my brain that hold the memory of references to things, and funny jokes and puns.
I caught myself, while out of breathe and trying to tell my boyfriend I was too out of breath to talk, saying, instead, the only thing I could think of, which was “not air. Too small.”
Wtf. Who says that?!! Wtf is wrong with me that I can’t express English to others?! Words and phraSes are still difficult for me but it’s hard to explain to people how and why.
So I just go about my business and just assume people think I’m an idiot and a liar.
