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[pikabooty3]

Today I nominate someone who has made a HUGE impact on my life, but I know she won't be able to accept her prize. She's disappeared. You can read her blog explaining why she went off grid. Even though I can't find a way to get in contact with her, I still want to nominate her. She's not only changed my life but from her blog you can see she has changed lithe lives of others as well. Sam writes fanfics. But she doesn't just write, she is a genuine, loving, and caring person. Her stories have given my darkest days, rays of sunshine pouring through the cracks. Then I started exchanging emails with Sam, and she was even better than the stories she wrote. I wish I could get a hold of her, and tell her that I wish she would come back. That she's not alone.

[pikabooty3]

[pikabooty3]

No but could you imagine: Hearing rumors about two absolutely gorgeous men who come to your rescue if you have a ghost, or weird shit goin on, and FINALLY the lights start to flicker and you think "oh god it's my chance!" So you secretly bake a pie, and have a garden of fresh fruits and veggies to send off with Sam, and try and seduce them because you know once they get the baddie (like they always do) they'll be gone?

[pikabooty3]

Sam... It's Sam.

This is for Sam. (canoncanoff) Dearest Samantha, It's been months since you disappeared. I tried to pretend this wouldn't make an impact on me because, I hadn't been chatting with you for that long but I need to come clean on a few things. When I went to send you another email, to check on you and saw that you account had been deleted, I immediately blamed myself. I thought I was the reason you deleted all your accounts. I remember I had JUST sent you a fic I had wrote for a friend and thought it had offended you, or that my previous chat email had offended you. Then when I saw EVERYTHING was gone... I panicked. I searched for HOURS for Sam's in your age range, in your area. That might sound creepy but I was terrified something happened to you and... The thought of never getting to say good bye in some way devastated me. Even if it was to just to finally place a face to my favorite writer, or to tell your parents how much you changed my life (and now obviously the lives of others). Dude Sam, I'm not exaggerating when I say chatting with you was the absolute highlight to my days. I RELIGIOUSLY would check my email for a reply. I know I sound like I'm coming off stalker-ish but my God, you don't know how happy I was to FINALLY talk to someone who related to me in so many ways. My life... My life has been crumbling between my fingers these past few months. This is the WORST depression I've had in 4 years. I've upped my therapy to once a week. I even told my therapist how upset I was that you vanished. This isn't me trying to guilt you... But you're not alone. I miss our chats. Even if you were to email me every time with your darkest thoughts, I could still probably relate to them. Of course I don't WANT you to be sad, and I know what it's like to shut people out because you think your sadness is just enveloping the people around you but, I want to help. I don't want a fake "Oh everything is great on my end!" chat. The reason I asked to exchange emails in the first place is because I genuinely wanted to get to know the real you, I wanted a real friend. Even if it's only through text. Your stories. Real life and fics, changed my life. You, changed my life. Before people started posting your fics I was so lost. I'm not kidding, when I was having a bad day, (which was a lot) I would immediately reread one of your fics. I just want you to know, you are absolutely LOVED and ADORED for who you are. Depression and all. Not just by me but all of your FANS. You're special. You're needed. You're missed. I'd love for you to get back in touch with me... Even if it's just the occasional "I'm alive". I just need to know you're okay...