A Justification of Sorts....
It has been pointed out that one of the pitfalls of auto-ethnography (my preferred research methodology) is a tendency towards narcissism. I mention this since it is my intention to post biographical details and reminiscences which, I would argue, inform the thought processes behind my research topic. I would hate to seem self-indulgent - my excuse is that during a Thesis Writing Workshop I attended at the University recently, it was suggested that students should write daily to improve fluency and style - regardless of the subject matter. I now feel free to talk about myself - it's an easier option than academic writing if nothing else...
Let me return to the original premise that writing about oneself is way too self-reflexive; the real question lies in the value, if any, of recording my past experiences. This could be an ongoing issue in my line of inquiry, where the role of the observer is integral to the process of data gathering. If walking - the derive - is both a personal and cultural act, then surely what the observer brings to this process is of some interest, if only in helping to analyze the nature of ones subjectivity?
At this point it might be helpful to reflect on the work of David Prescott-Steed (a psychogeographer and academic) who addresses the role of the individual in the context of the urban stroll. He suggests that the process of engaging critically with culture is unique to the individual, and that as urban exploration is experienced through the body, and seen through personal eyes, it is a undoubtably a subjective practice. He goes on to suggest that although we share the experience of culture in our collective hopes, dreams and memories it is interpreted through the personal experience of the trained observer who must ground their subjectivity through historical and theoretical ‘anchors’(1). By this, I think he partly means, ‘personal’ markers from the observer’s past which help him or her interpret the world before them.
In light of these observations I will allow myself the indulgence of plundering my memoir as source-material for my research - at least in the context of this blog. I would now like to tease out a thread from my last post where I mentioned the fact that I had worked in the film industry in London, not long after graduation. Let me return to this formative period in my personal and professional development in order to highlight some of the ideas which will inform my research approach.
The locale is Soho in the 1980s, and the themes are similar to those previously articulated in my writing - a passion for film and working in the industry, a desire for freedom and the need to be in the open air for at least part of the day, a love of cities and their hidden places. I will not bore the reader with details of my work experiences, suffice to say that I was employed at this time on the Derek Jarman film, Caravaggio (1986), which was a fascinating and rewarding experience. What is of significance is the fact that I was the first assistant editor which allowed me the freedom to leave the cutting room, fairly regularly, in the execution of my duties. After a rough cut of the film was assembled and the composer was scoring the soundtrack, I was despatched daily to collect the recordings from his studio. I was also engaged in other external tasks such as taking trolley’s laden with film cans to the dubbing editor and picking up optical prints from the labs. This meant that during the day I could slip out for periods of time and explore the backstreets and alleyways of Soho and beyond, wandering as far as I dared in the time allocated. I was never questioned, as the rest of the time I had my head down hard at it from first thing in the morning till the designated drinks hour had arrived. As long as I brought back some ‘treats’ from my sojourns, by way of snacks or coffee, my path was smooth - cream cakes from Maison Berteaux were always a winner. I digress, but since I have just read that a ‘digressive’ style is one of the hallmarks of psychogeorgraphy, I am again excused.
These wanderings around London were a joy, an amazing contrast to the close-knit security of the edit suite. They functioned on a number of levels; as a concrete way of exploring and knowing a city first hand, as a way of tapping into the electrifying current of the place with its palpable rhythms, cycles and rituals, and as a type of creativity by proxy. By this I mean the enlivening, energising feeling of walking alone in a stimulating environment contemplating one’s surroundings, thinking and dreaming about the creative ‘life of the self’.
This contemplation of creativity arose mainly as a result of being in the company of Derek Jarman for extended periods. He would come into the cutting room in the morning, friendly, kind, considerate of other people’s opinions and always bursting with ideas for fascinating projects. He was a true creative spirit and seemed to endlessly inspire everyone around him - including me. In our lunch hour, Derek took us to run down cafes in out-of-the-way places, where he discussed films, art and theatre. He even hired a viewing room in Wardour Street to screen one of his favourite films, Visconti’s ‘Ossessione’ (1943), as neither the editor nor I had seen it. This passionate desire to share his enthusiasm and help others reach their potential was legend. In short, he let me glimpse a marvelous world of the mind which I could only have previously dreamed about.
I think this time in London is so redolent for me as it coalesces a number of things in my personal and professional trajectory. It was a manifestation of some of the things one contemplates while a student dreaming of creative engagement - the love of learning and personal growth, insights into creativity, and being part of a bigger entity, as well as the pleasure of being in a place which pulses with potential. The city itself was viewed from a position of relative privilege - I could afford to go to the various Independent cinemas which existed then, and buy tickets to concerts on the South Bank. I could also afford to eat out in cheap restaurants in Soho and had interesting friends who greatly widened my horizons. But I was also acutely aware of the spaces in the city which were less salubrious and where it was tricky to walk at night alone - yes, I did a lot of that too. I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences I had in London and for the chance to move on and learn my trade as a director on Channel Four programmes, working out of a tiny office in Shepherd’s Bush, but that is another story....
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