i suppose it's as simple as the two being essentially similiar in how they are recieved, but one deriving from cruelty and the other from kindness (within the imagined play-space). humiliation in ageplay often derives from drawing a contrast between what the subject is or is doing (being or acting childlike) and what they ought to be or do (be mature or act in a manner befitting an adult). for me personally, i am more compelled when my childishness is treated as overt, self-evident, and even banal, and i prefer to be treated with the sort of overbearing, inconsiderate and autonomy-destroying 'kindness' one associates with childhood.
reminders that i am supposed to be adult are unwelcome; they break down the fiction, disrupt my capacity to engage. while in the space, let us agree that i am a child, i am incapable, i do require care and monitoring and guidance and discipline. that i might find this distressing, embarassing and difficult to accept has no bearing on the situation. blithe ignorance of how uncomfortable, shy or embarassed i am- because in their eyes this is all perfectly natural and normal- is a really wonderful dynamic. but if this actually is gross, nonsensical, unfitting to my being a grown woman, then the entire fictive dynamic no longer makes sense to me, and i'm left more annoyed than humiliated.
when i think more carefully, i think i do see room for me to enjoy intentionally cruel humiliation within the space, but it has to be exist within the framework of 'dealing with a child' and must not disrupt that fiction (note that none of this need align with how the dominant thinks children should actually be treated, obviously). it makes no sense to mock a child for dressing childishly; that's normal!
this goes hand-in-hand with a preference that every action the dominant takes be plausibly 'for my own good', have some child-rearing justification, even if it is overtly abusive, inappropriate or simply unbearably embarassing. i am after all only small; how could i possibly understand what's best for me? smother my protests and carry on smiling. it's what i need.
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