i've tried jack. i've tried gin.

JAKE PUCKERMAN 'Sup. Jake Puckerman here. I'm just your typical 21 year old dude living in the Big Apple and loving life. When I'm not bartending, I'm teaching drop in classes at the local studio so if you want to learn a thing or two stop in. Or don't, I'm not gonna stop you from looking like an idiot in front of chicks. Makes it easier for me. And ladies, if you want my number (and I know you do) just ask. I don't bite unless you're into that.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

i can do anything better than you|| jitty f2f

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Kitty raised an eyebrow as he suddenly turned round and was in her face. She couldn’t deny he had a point. If he did happen to meet the love of his life at this party and it meant he was gone from the apartment, well that’d be a win for her. For starters, she wouldn’t have to overhear him and Santana having sex anymore. “I do not enjoy it, it’s repulsive.” She groaned, hitting at his chest as he leant in closer to her. A tiny part of her was telling her not to be such a bitch and that she should leave the boy alone but it was overruled by the other voice in her head telling her she needed to keep her bitch front up like she did around everyone else, bar a select few. She was still reeling from his suggestion, about to rip him apart for suggesting she’d want to sleep with him when he burst out laughing. “Ha ha, you’re hilarious.” She muttered sarcastically, shooting a glare at him instead. “I’m perfectly nice to the people I want to be nice to, actually.” She shrugged, taking a sip of her drink. The blonde easily knew how to turn on the charm when it was needed and she knew who she wanted to be nice to too, it just so happened Jake hadn’t made the list. “Puh-lease. I mean I can understand why you could think that since I’d never flirt with you in a million years but I have game, Puckerman. No guys, or girls, go running from me. Not unless I want them to. Don’t believe me, pick someone.” She added confidently, gesturing to the crowded room. Okay so she was drunk and that was adding to her over-confidence but that wasn’t going to stop her. “Pick someone and I’ll make-out with them by the end of the night. If you make it a girl then you could even try too.”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Jake couldn’t help but burst into laughter at Kitty’s mention of her being nice to people. Just the thought was enough to make him chuckle. Hell, he couldn’t even begin to imagine any scenario in his head where Kitty Wilde would be nice to anyone. Once he calmed his exaggerated laughing, Jake cleared his throat and took a sip of his drink. “I’m sorry, it’s just imagining you being nice to someone. I can’t even picture it that’s how ridiculous that sounds. The only way you’d be nice to someone would be if you were getting something out of it. You practically reek of resting bitch face Wilde, so the last thing anyone is going to think of you is that you’re nice.” Jake shook his head with a final chuckle as he finished off his drink and filled up the cup. Thank goodness his buzz was getting a little stronger if he was going to put up with her when she was like this.

“Right, you have game. That explains why you’re always hoarded in your room when I’m over with Santana. I think that means that I’m the one with game and you just suck. And I’m sure not in the good way.” He said with a wide smirk as he glanced across the room at her challenge. Jake would throw her some comment about her proving it in a more one-on-one scenario but there wasn’t much more rejection he could take, especially in his intoxicated sake. “Sounds like a win-win to me.” Jake licked his lips as he pointed to some curly red head in the corner, one that he knew would be into him since they hooked up at a house party a couple months ago. “Her. Now go so I can watch you crash and burn.”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

i can do anything better than you|| jitty f2f

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Kitty smirked as Jake hit the wall and she could see the annoyance on his face. At least he felt it too and it wasn’t just her. The tiniest part of her felt bad but it was like she couldn’t help herself, she was just constantly wanting to push his buttons and see how far she could push him until he snapped. “Well I don’t know about you but I’m having tons of fun.” She shot back, a teasingly sarcastic tone to her voice. “You think it has nothing to do with me but I’m the one who has to stand here and watch you creepin’ on all these girls. It’s like watching a car crash, you don’t want to watch and yet you still can’t look away.” She shrugged.

She finished off her drink, deciding to follow him over to the drinks table to grab herself a new one. She went about making herself a new drink, with probably more vodka than she needed but she ignored that, deciding she’d need it to get through the evening with Jake here. She had taken a sip of her drink, choking on it as she heard his suggestion that she wanted him. She coughed a few more times, pulling a disgusted face once she’d recovered. “Gross, no way. Not in your wildest, wettest dreams.” She shot back, rolling her eyes at him. “I just thought I’d save the girl from a night of mediocre chat up lines from a guy with no game. She could do better so I was just helping her make one less bad decision tonight. I’m nice like that.”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Jake quickly whipped around to face her. “You know, you make no sense to me Wilde. I would think that you’d want me hooking up with other girls cause then I’m not bumming around your place with Santana supposedly torturing you, even though I think that you secretly enjoy it.” He whispered into her ear while leaning in closer. If there was anything that Jake knew, it was how much being in such proximity to him would drive her crazy. “This could all go away if you would just admit that you’re attracted to me and jealous of Santana.” Jake reiterated, somehow managing to say that with a straight face long enough to watch her face distort before bursting into laughter. Like he would ever sleep with Wilde. Sure, he might have thought about it once or twice but it would never, ever happen.

As he sipped at the alcohol in his solo cup, Jake could only let out a scoff. “Nice? Right. We’ll add that to the list of things that you aren’t. And hey, you might not think that I have game or whatever, but at least girls don’t mind that I’m flirting with them. One look at you and the guys are gonna go running. No one is gonna want to flirt or think about some stuck up priss like you with a major case of the resting bitch face. Is that rude? Maybe, but the truth hurts.”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

i can do anything better than you|| jitty f2f

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Kitty liked parties and she liked socialising, even if college parties weren’t always her number one choice. She didn’t mind them and she had to keep up appearances with her friends, but a night out at a bar or club was much more welcome in her books. The music wasn’t usually so lame and there weren’t passed out douchebags who couldn’t handle their drink after two cups of beer. But she was in college, and she wanted to do college right so Kitty made appearances at these parties more often than not even if she just had to grin and bear it. Besides they were usually a lot more bearable after a few drinks, which is why she was already a few drinks down when she arrived at the party and why she was on at least her second cup of punch, taking a sip as she looked around the party. If nothing else, she liked the excuse to dress up, and tonight she’d gone with a simple crop top and shorts combination with a pair of heels on, that despite her short frame, made her legs look pretty damn long.

She took another sip of her drink as she scanned the room again, and it was then she spotted the one person she swore she hated more than anyone, feeling like she’d been punched in the stomach as she watched him heading over to a redhead. God, what was he even doing here? Feeling annoyed, she made her way over before speaking up over whatever line he’d just used. “Hey jackass!! The clinic rang me and they said you gave me crabs. What the hell? Who even does that?” She continued, faking her best annoyed tone (it was her most used tone around Jake anyway) before flashing him a very insincere smile as the redhead inevitably made her excuses and Jake turned to look at her. “I thought you said frat parties were lame, what the hell are you doing here, Puckerman?”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Jake practically had this girl eating out of the palm of his hands (or at least he was pretty damn close to it) before he heard an all too familiar voice screeching through the crowd. It took a second or two for him to move past the fact that she was talking and actually register what it was that she said. As soon as the hot redhead quickly made her way far from him, Jake smacked the wall and angrily turned to face her. “The hell is your problem Wilde? Normally people come to parties to get the stick out of their ass and not shove it up farther. And it’s not what your self-centered brain is thinking. Me being here has nothing to do with you. I came with some buddies to have a good time but since you’re here I’m thinking that’s probably not going to happen now since you and your attitude suck the fun out of everything.”

If he was going to make it through a night at a party with Kitty, he needed to be a hell of a lot more wasted than he currently was prompting him to head back to the keg for a refill. He gave an eye roll as he heard the clipping noise of her heels on the tile. For once, he didn’t feel like dealing with her despite how hot she looked. Jake just wanted one night to himself but clearly he wasn’t going to get that so if he was going to have fun, that meant getting under her skin. Slamming a good bit of his drink, he turned to face the petite blonde with a smile. “So why’d you make that chick disappear? Want a piece of Puckerman for yourself? I can’t quite say that I blame you. So how ‘bout it Kitty-Cat?”

[puckerstudjake-blog]

i can do anything better than you|| jitty f2f

Jake Puckerman didn’t slum at college parties all the time. In fact, it wasn’t something that he did often at all. One of his buddies at the bar had the hook up to some party and he had the night off from serving drunk losers. No, he was going to be the one getting drinks instead of the one serving them. Maybe if he was lucky, he would find some sorority chick to take home with him and fun with. He was sure that Sam wouldn’t mind and if he did, they would go somewhere else. Jake just knew that he needed to have a good time and he’d be damned if he let anyone get in the way of that.

He was on his second red solo cup of beer from the keg. Jake had the beginning inklings of a buzz and that was okay with him. He didn’t want to go too hard too fast quite yet. That needed to be saved until after he found someone to take home with them. His dark eyes scanned the room over the rim of his plastic cup looking for someone to catch his eye and that’s exactly what he found in the form of a bright eyed redhead. Wandering towards her, Jake flashed a megawatt grin before handing her a cup full of alcohol and throwing her his signature line.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

I wouldn’t be able to handle you? That sounds fake but okay. You keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Apparently you can’t handle the truth. It’s alright, I only party with hot chicks.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

That’s what you think. I would invite you to one to prove you wrong, but I really don’t want to see you anymore than I have to. 

[puckerstudjake-blog]

You wouldn’t even be able to handle me at a party if you even wanted to see me.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

And then you complain that the parties are lame, go figure.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Like you being at a party is gonna make it any better.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

You’re lame. You’ve obviously just been to the wrong parties, which are usually the ones where I’m not there.

I don’t know where you’ve got this idea that I don’t get any from, but you’re way off the mark. I manage to have standards and get some. Hardly revolutionary but never mind. 

[puckerstudjake-blog]

If I know you’re at a party, I run the other way.

Whatever makes you sleep at night Wilde.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Frat parties are fun when you’re liked, clearly you don’t fall into that category. I don’t care about your cool points, at least I have them with literally everyone else.

Low? That’s an understatement if I ever heard one. Well maybe if you’re a bit more picky about who you fall into bed with, you wouldn’t have that problem.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

No, frat parties are lame. I’d say the only good thing about frat parties are the chicks, but even that’s pushing it.

You mean picky like you? Then I wouldn’t be getting any and that’s not okay with me.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Yes I get drunk, and yes I go to frat parties but I’m paying for college so I might as well make the most of it, I’ve never peed in a bucket though.

That’s because you don’t have any standards. Most of us only sleep with the people they don’t mind having a conversation with. No pretending necessary.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Frat parties are lame as hell. You just lost cool points with me, not that you really had any to begin with.

I have standards. They might be low, but I have them. I don’t mind talking, it’s the clingers I can’t stand.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Absolutely not, I’m way too classy for that.

Well how do you know that? It’s not like you know much else. Wouldn’t you just get sick of your own company? You are you after all.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Right...why do I feel like you get white-girl wasted every weekend at frat parties?

I am just fine with my own company. There is nothing better than having a one-night stand and waking up to an empty bed. No obligations, no awkward breakfast, no pretending like you’re going to call them later.

[oncemorewthfeeling]

Okay everyone, so after months of decorating, I can officially say that Marley and I’s apartment is finally perfect and to my liking, which means…. We’re throwing a house warming/dinner party. So you should all start telling me now what days work for you, and if you guys have any food allergies, cuz you’re all obviously invited.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

I’m game for a party. You inviting any of your hot friends?

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

He grew up and moved past that, maybe you should too. Besides, I’m sure you’ve peed in worst places after a few too many Smirnoff Ices in your senior year.

Are you sure about that? Maybe those women just saw you desperate you were for approval and moaned a few extra times to stroke your ridiculously needy ego. What’s so wrong with finding the one person that makes your life that much better and sticking with them? Doesn’t seem all that awful to me. 

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Speaking from experience Kitty-Cat?

Cause there’s no such thing as that one person. At least I don’t think so. I’d rather just find my own company. Then if I get sick of someone, I can move on.

[lynnzryder-deactivated20170330]

I guess it’s all about the “unconditional love” clause of the deal. You should stick to teaching young adults, man, or your hair will go grey in no time.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

Dude, maybe I could rock the partial grey look. Some people can.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

Yeah I think he can dance, there’s video proof online. To what he could be? I don’t think you need to spend your time worrying about Bieber’s unlocked potential, he’s probably already pretty happy with his best-selling album, sold out tour and millions of fans. Unless you really do have nothing better to do, then knock yourself out.

Oh wow, sounds fulfilling. You mean you can’t satisfy one girl all the time so you’ve gone for multiple girls sharing your time so they don’t realise how disappointing you really are?

[puckerstudjake-blog]

I still think he’s a brat. Don’t even get me started on the whole peeing in a bucket and the whole monkey issue.

Oh ha ha Wilde. I can satisfy plenty of women. What’s disappointing is the ridiculous idea of sticking with one person forever.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

No, it’s because his music is catchy and he can dance pretty well. I wasn’t so much of a fan before, but he’s just got better and better since that Skrillex song. There really is no need to be bitter about it, society says you no longer need to feel ashamed about being a belieber, Jake.

Well no-one, I figured you were a normal person who didn’t want to die alone.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

You think he can dance? Yeah, he’s got moves or whatever but it’s nothing compared to what he could be. And I am not and will never be a Belieber.

I won’t die alone. I have plenty of girls to keep me company. Doesn’t mean I want to settle. I’m not a one-chick guy.

[itskatherinewilde-blog]

With how popular his music is, he’s hardly a wannabe. Unlike you with your dreams of one day having friends and probably tricking some poor girl (or guy, I wouldn’t judge) into settling down with you.

[puckerstudjake-blog]

That’s cause he’s apparently “got the face of an angel” or some crap like that. He’s all looks.

Who said I want to settle down with anyone?