🤠🤠🤠🤠 @queenambii35 - Tumblr Blog

some people just don’t understand how exhausting it is fighting with your emotions all the time

broken----rose-deactivated20240

my birthday was spent having an ✨upper respiratory infection✨

killing myself is looking extra good today

i seriously don’t know what the hell im doing because it’s 2:23am and i’m just sitting here wondering if i’m even making all the right decisions. what led me to this moment right now? i can’t figure out how this life fucking works. i can’t do it.

I don’t know what i’m doing anymore.

Next time I get into that mindset, I’m not going to cry for help because I don’t want to be stopped again. And I know you don’t check this, so you won’t know to ask anyway.

I wish I would’ve drank too much last night.

I wish I wouldn’t have made it home.

I’m tired.

Leave me be.

12:54am 8/15/20 @splooshrabbit

i have work in the morning but i’m still awake. it was my mistake to withhold this kind of information to myself and not let you be a part of something that technically involves you in the first place.

it’s just been hard on me. i’m mentally and physically exhausted because of everything. i’ve been working to death to make sure we both have everything we needed, on top of dealing with everything else.

i just put you above myself and i’m sorry because i ended up hurting you because of it.

8:24pm

I keep hearing things inside my head. My mind keeps going blank. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My boyfriend thinks I’m mad at him and I’m not. I just don’t have an answer for him. It’s like I’m tuning out reality with my thoughts that keep coming in this rapid succession that I can’t mentally run away from. I genuinely don’t feel sad or anything, but I keep drawing a blank. I don’t want to self diagnose or anything, am I disassociating? Am I crazy? What the hell is happening?

This isn’t the first time either.

I just wish it was the last.

I always post something when I’m mentally

d e c l i n i n g

So here we are, 8:31am, freaking out. BECAUSE I HAVE THIS WEIRD FEELING THAT I’M GETTING PLAYED RIGHT NOW.

Like, 1. I know my bf won’t see this unless I show this to him directly, so what the actual fuck do I do? I just feel off about everything now AND I EVEN POURED SOME OF MY HEART OUT TO HIM LAST NIGHT.

I hate relationships.

get u a relationship where ur bf says “i wish your 😺 tasted like Mountain Dew”

my bf curls up into a sonic the hedgehog type ball when he’s sleepin and it so cute aw what a lil bean he is.

bless.

How to fix my spiral staircase spine so it doesn’t literally kill me every time I move 39 inches to the left, asking for that bitch

It me, I’m slinky-back bitch

hahaha

I’m not enough

I wonder if my boyfriend understands how heads over heels I am for him.

I have really bad trust issues that stem from my ex’s actively looking for girls we both knew (as acquaintances) just to stalk their photos and text them when I wasn’t around. And I can’t help but think he does that too. I wouldn’t blame him if he did, but I wouldn’t want to waste my time trying to be absolutely perfect for someone who thinks I’m not enough for them. It’s hard some days, because I love him with every ounce of my heart and soul, but I just don’t know how to show that properly. He’s my sunshine, bright and early in the morning. He’s like a soft breeze in the middle of a burning summer’s day. He knows how to make me feel better in ways I didn’t think worked. He’s everything to me. I would lay down my life for him, but I don’t know if he realizes that. I’m starting to enjoy being awake because he makes reality better than my dreams. He gives me reasons to live.

I just hope I’m not getting played with again.

@splooshrabbit is literally the LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE

Like, hold up a min

SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES ME AND LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM LIKE

What the FuuuuUuuUuUUuck

It’s unreal y’all.

I wanna fucking off myself

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