something that really saddens me within the mcr fandom/community is this ‘pendulum of accountability’ that fans seem to fall into surrounding discussion of bob bryar, both before his passing and, even more so, after.
essentially, the pendulum works like this:
you swing from, on one side, looking for accountability. as a reaction, a small percentage of people in that group will go further, sending hate or malice in an attempt to extract accountability. this leads to the opposite effect: people see the malice or hate and determine that that malice or hate should stop and, because of it, in fact, there can be NO accountability and the person in question did nothing wrong at all. and so we swing to the other side.
it is sort of the idea that critique and criticism are not the same. and this conversation comes up a lot when people discuss bob bryar. it seems like only two opinions dominate discussion: either we should hate him entirely, or he should see no blame or negative emotion, particularly since his passing. this discussion NEEDS nuance because we are otherwise deciding that either a man’s legacy should be entirely vitriolic or should be entirely wiped clean. but humans are simply not that simple. obviously, we cannot seek accountability because he has sadly passed. HOWEVER, we can inject nuance into our conversations surrounding him.
he was not a perfect person. most of us, 99%, never met him or spoke to him personally. the only things we have to know him by are public information, and that information points to a person who was at times cruel or hateful, at times compassionate and amiable, and at times totally unknowable. the things he stood for publically were conflicting. he was an unflinching animal rights activist, but his personal politics towards the end of his life seemed to disregard human rights, pushing a very hateful political belief system. however, again, we DONT KNOW him. we have no right to saint nor vilify him. it disappoints me when our community can only stand on one side. either he is cropped out of photos or he is completely absolved of all sin. he was not a perfect, or possibly good, person.
yes, he has passed. yes, we will never know his true thoughts and feelings. yes, that does not give him a pass. yes, that does not mean he must be evil.
we all need to understand the importance of critique and seeking accountability from present active band members while not resorting to complete hatred* OR writing off genuine critique and important discussion on the basis of EITHER “they are bad” or “people are so mean to them that we shouldn’t say anything bad about them at all” . both are equally damaging, especially in a community full of bands that are fraught with predators and people who pose threats to our community.
that’s all, please remember we can critique without being cruel and that the actions of some do not absolve someone of all accountability and mean that no one can speak ill of them whatsoever. we deserve a more nuanced community.
*if we do not have a direct reason to do so. there are occasions and people to whom this may not apply. nuance is critical
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