Introducing the Girls of the BAU...
SSA Emily Prentiss: likes UnSubs, the hunting down of, furreign speaking, purrty pastel flowers, the sniffing of, pea soup with chocolate crackers, and Sergio; dislikes UnSubs, Doyle, exorcisms, inferior male slime slithers, and Inferior Male Slime Slither Dr. Spencer Reid that one time outside the homeless shelter when Inferior Male Slime Slither Dr. Spencer Reid was all hissy-pissy to her when she was checking for his brain, the continued existence of...Well, he ain't gettin' away with it, if...
...Shemale Emily Prentiss has anything to say about THAT.
Media Liaison Jennifer Jareau: likes the media, the bullshitting of, futbol, butterflies, pale-clouded yellow, butterflies, not pale-clouded yellow, football, Henry LaMontagne (always), and William LaMontagne (sometimes); dislikes UnSubs, the media, HagFishWife Fork-Tongued WitchLock Section Chief Erin Strauss, inferior male slime slithers, and Inferior Male Slime Slither Derek Morgan that one time at the Funny Farm Happy Home when Inferior Male Slime Slither Derek Morgan was all bitchy-kitchy to her for almost getting Iron Chef foodtasted by goggies when Inferior Male Slime Slither Dr. Spencer Reid failed to impress her with toilet humor (mmm, !sexxxay), tom, the peeping of (mmm, !!!sexxxay), and running around a cornfield with his head cut off, tucked under his helpless hapless little graspers, and facing the wrong way, so he failed to see Hankel, Son, and Archangel, before the Froot Loop bonked him over his teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy pus-filled pimple of a head that he gummed back onto his body just in time to get it bonked over (mmm, !!!!!sexxxay)...Well, he ain't gettin' away with it, if...
...Shemale Jennifer Jareau has anything to say about THAT.
Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia: likes databases, the legal and illegal accessing of, purrty hair, clothes, and makeup, Linux, SSA Derek Morgan, the sexually harassing of, the Duke of Cambridge, and Technical Analyst Kevin Lynch, the consensually whatevering of; dislikes UnSubs, All Work No Play, gory crime scene photos, inferior male slime slithers, and Inferior Male Slime Slither Jason Gideon that one time in the Round Table Room when Inferior Male Slime Slither Jason Gideon was all shitty-titty to her when she was All Playing No Working while Inferior Male Slime Slither Jason Gideon was off in his Unabomber cabin collecting surveillance video of the birds and bees for his highfalutin, but still pervosicko, adult feather and feather facsimile pornographic film, "Oh My, Things That Fly, I Spy", Turdus polyglottos (hahaha, Turdus as out of Turd) soundtrack included, no mockingbirds harmed in the making of this picture, unless being raised on the set of a highfalutin adult pornographic film to record a soundtrack for a highfalutin adult pornographic film is considered animal cruelty...Well, he ain't gettin' away with it, if...
...Shemale Penelope Garcia has anything to say about THAT.
Oops, wrong picture, to me you outpoint? Aren't the Girls supposed to give off the general appearance of soft furriority, delicate purrticity, and harmless shemininity, until you make the mistake of inferior male slime slithering them?
Well, yeah, that may be true for other Girls, but this is SSA Elle Greenaway we'd better not be talking behind her back about, or else.
She no furriorious purrticious shemininian mode has.
SSA Elle Greenaway: likes UnSubs, the slicing and dicing of, "Peanut", the being called by her light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel father of, rapists, the flaying and gutting of (tarhar, torture in alphybetsical order), bicycling, male genitalia, the grinding underhighheel of, Tanqueray, and smug little fark-faced douchebag rapist @$$hats, the redrumming of; dislikes UnSubs, rapists, Randall Garner, RULES, inferior male slime slithers, and Inferior Male Slime Slither Aaron Hotchner that one time in the bullpen when Inferior Male Slime Slither Aaron Hotchner was all bossy-tossy to her by sending her Home Alone to pass out on the couch without warning her that it was Former Funny Farmer The Fisher King, not those village idiot Bad News Bears burglars from that movie with the snot-nosed screech-mouthed blonde twerp, who was coming to invade her Happy Home on the stove range that she uses to Roast'n'Toast to blackened crisps the remnants of the underhighheel grindings, if ya know what ah mean...Well, he ain't gettin' away with it, if...
...Shemale Elle Greenaway has anything to say about THAT.
So how ain't they - Inferior Male Slime Slithers Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, Jason Gideon, and Aaron Hotchner - gettin' away with it, me you breathlessly supplicate?
Zzzeeeeeee Shemales, let them YouShow'n'YouTell.
First, they betake themselves to the Capitol City Sperm Bank, where those megalomaniacal narcissistic UnSub profifauxfummers have no doubt pankowankoed zzzeeeeeee zzzamplezzz ov zzzeeeeeee weeweezzz.
Then, they betake themselves to the LaBORaTORy, where the Bunny Bots the Science Girls have developed a most sufficiently advanced technology, indistinguishable from magic, to recombine zzzeeeeeee genetickerzzz ov zzzeeeeeee zzzamplezzz ov zzzeeeeeee weeweezzz into zzzeeeeeee Zuper Zpermo Von El Quatre of all the Inferior Male Slime Slithers.
Finally, they betake themselves to the Den'o'Reckoning, where they "double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble" (a euphemism), until, one bright sunny Day'o'Reckoning, after the feline number of days, weeks, or months, however many those are, have passed, there should appear, suddenly and to the Rhthym'n'Blues of the tornado/tsunami siren, on the BAU jet...
...the Worstest Recombined Nightmare Of The Inferior Male Slime Slithers, zzzeeeeeee Zuper Zpermo Von El Quatre Recombined Offspring, with the feline number of chromosomes, however many that is, to suck them dry of zzzeeeeeee $$$$$$$ and zzzeeeeeee brrrainzzz, as the Shemales leave town in their shiny new armor-plated RPGL-equipped Hummer purchased with zzzeeeeeee $$$$$$$ from zzzeeeeeee Zuper Zpermo Von El Quatre black farmer's market trade, which is sure to snap crackle pop out many many many MOAR MOAR MOAR offspring (snap! crackle! pop!), which the Inferior Male Slime Slithers will have to profifauxfum many many many MOAR MOAR MOAR UnSubs, mostly shemale, until they are old, decrepit, and suffering from spontaneous brain tissue outorificeleakage disease to support and send to Ivy League institutions to become megalomaniacal narcissistic profifauxfummers, but ACTUALLY, none of them can think that far ahead, because all of them are too busy stopping, dropping, and rolling at zzzeeeeeee zick zick zick ideeea ov zzzeeeeeee 4XXX weeweezzz zzzvimming in zzzeeeeeee one and zzzeeeeeee same Peeeeeeetri deeeeeeesh together and possibly, probably, certainly, 100%, says-so Inferior Male Slime Slither Dr. Spencer Reid...each other, zzzeeeeeee touching ov...
Ohhhhhhh Nooooooozzzeeeeeeezzz...
Uncleanzzz uncleanzzz uncleanzzz uncleanzzz uncleanzzz uncleanzzz uncleanzzz!!!
PostScript: Aren't I forgetting someone, me you ask? No, I aren't forgetting someone, you I answer.
Because Inferior Male Slime Slither David Rossi has got his paws full with his own personal Shemales, a homicidal triad of. That's what he gets for making the same mistake thrice.
As YouSee, he even betook himself and she herself to marriage counseling the third and final tick-tock, but it No Work No Play, because...
...the marriage counselor was a Shemale too.
theartofmadeline
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