Hotwife Lifestyle - Slow Down and Enjoy the Ride
So you’ve finally gotten your girl (or guy) on board with the Hotwife lifestyle…it seems like it’s going to be one big vacation from here on out, right? Well…not exactly. The lifestyle is kinky, erotic, sexually charged and fun, but it’s also time consuming, requires a certain amount of discipline and can put stress on both the Hotwife and her partner. After all, those erotic moments when your lady is bent over the bed with her lover behind her don’t just happen without some effort. It’s important when embarking on this new erotic adventure to not get too carried away or else you may find yourself sitting on an island in the middle of nowhere without a clue as to how you got there or all the amazing things you saw along the way.
For me, being a Hotwife takes quite a bit of time. I have a “regular lover” and, of course, the most important thing to me, my partner, “D”. When it comes to D and I, we are pretty much in constant contact, whether it be through text, by phone, etc. I sometimes find it challenging to keep up my “relationship” with my lover - it takes time to get in the zone, text sexy messages, ask about his day, respond to questions about my day, set up dates, talk about dates, etc. I can be having a conversation with “D” and simultaneously trying to have a conversation with my lover, and this gets tough sometimes.
That’s just one example of the time and attention that this lifestyle requires and takes away from the primary relationship. So, knowing this and being prepared for it is highly important. As a Hotwife, I can tell you that finding, maintaining and carrying out sexual relationships and activities isn’t always an easy task mentally or physically. The Hotwife has to quickly shift between an almost “acting mode” and a “normal life” mode rather quickly on any given day. She has to juggle and weigh the feelings of her partner while also juggling a lover and on top of that her own emotions. This can mess with the mind a bit sometimes.
It’s also important to note that simply having a “date” is a pretty big deal for most women…it takes preparation, forethought, the physical work of “getting ready”, getting into a mental zone, etc. It means lots of conversations with her partner to make sure everyone is “okay”, both before and after activities. This is all before the clothes come off and the fun begins. It’s also easy to get carried away by the lifestyle…your Hotwife is going out on her date and you’re already imagining all of the other things you want her to do that night AND down the road - get you pictures, video, act out certain scenarios with her lover, achieve certain “goals” during a sexual encounter, meet her lover, see her and her lover together, maybe participate or watch, maybe find a completely different lover, get some variety, etc. Try to keep in mind that all of these extra little “tasks” can be challenging mentally and physically, because your Hotwife WANTS to please you and she’s probably going to try to do what she thinks you want her to do even if it runs her into the ground.
Also important to note is the toll that this lifestyle takes on the partner of the Hotwife. It’s not easy to be in a constant state of arousal and anxiety. Most partners aren’t just kicking back at home watching the football game while their wife is out on a date, they are trying to keep busy, mindlessly flipping through channels, trying both to imagine what’s happening and not to imagine what’s happening, etc. After a while, and if there is too much of this stuff happening too often, it can get stressful. Recently, D actually asked me to slow down on the number of dates I was having with my lover…I had been averaging twice a week, but saw him three times one week, and D actually thought it had been far longer and wanted me to scale things back a bit. He wasn’t sleeping well, was having a hard time concentrating, and was physically exhausted, even though he was extremely turned on at the same time.
In the end, the point of this post is that it’s easy to ruin a Hotwife situation if you try for too much all at once or you go overboard on certain things. We get it, you’re excited, it’s fucking hot and erotic, you want it ALL NOW, but it’s best to slow down and take a more quality over quantity approach to these things, especially when it comes to this particular kink. You want this lifestyle to last for you, right? Maintain your relationship above all else, always, period, no questions. Enjoy every little thing that happens without worrying about what you can do “next” or what “more” you can do down the road. Take what you have for what it is and get the most out of it as possible.
**Note, D and S LOVE answering your questions and writing blogs about your suggested topics. We’re always happy to respond to anything that you pose to us about the Hotwife Lifestyle - tips, tricks, our experiences, advice, even the naughty stuff. So, go ahead and ask us. :)
