Almost every service when the worship team starts singing the last song, my family would quickly leave the venue to avoid the traffic going out. Today, however, Pastor Peter invited people to be prayed over. As Kuya nudged me again and again to move, something just glued my feet to the ground and the Spirit just wouldn’t let me leave. I thought I just wanted to worship, to finish the song, but I looked at my mom and she already had tears in her eyes. “Go,” she said, “You want to go in front, go.” So I did, across the balcony, down the stairs.
It was Pastor Glenn and his wife Gogi that prayed for me. How can we pray for you, they asked, and I said, “I’m battling against depression and it just feels very dark and I just want God to be my light again.” Much words were said and much tears were shed. Two things in particular that touched me most was when Ms. Gogi started crying, probably more than I already was. “Remind her that you love her abundantly.” Somehow, I felt her pain as well. Pain from a personal experience or pain for mine, I do not know, but after that I asked if I could hug her and she was surprised, but I did, and I hugged Pastor Glenn too, and just wow. God is amazing. He is so amazing.
I want that. I want a husband that would pray for and counsel other people with me in the future. I want a partner in serving and glorifying the Lord. And if that is what the Lord desires for me as well, then I have faith that He will give it in His time.
For now I am taking my time in the darkness, in the wilderness, in this season of pain and brokenness, and seeking Him as I have never done before.
God is all I need, God is all I have. God is my Living Hope.
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